With men, as angels, without feminine, Or find some other way to generate Mankind! This mischief had not then befall'n. And more that shall befal, innumerable Disturbances on earth, through female Bnares, And straight conjunction with this sex : for either He never shall find out fit mate, but such As some misfortune brings him, or mistake : Or, whom he wishes most, shall seldom gain, Through her perverseness ; but shall see her gain'd By a far worse: or if she love, withheld By parents; or his happiest choice too late Shall meet, already link'd and wedlock-bound To a fell adversary, his hate er shame: Which infinite calamity shall cause To human life, and household peace confound." Sib Roger listened to this passage with great attention; and, desiring Mr. Honeycomb to fold down a leaf at the place, and lend him his book, the knight put it up in his pocket, and told us that he would read over those verses again before he went to bed, BCDOELt. X No. 360. WEDNESDAY, APRIL 23, 1712. De paupertate tacentes Plus poscente ferent Hor. 1, EPJST. xvn. 43. The man that's silent, nor proclaims his want, Gets more than him who makes a loud complaint. Cmech. 1 Hate nothing to do with the business of this day, any further than affixing the piece of Latin on the head of my paper; which I think a motto not unsuitable, since, if silence of our poverty is a recommendation, still more commendable is his modesty who conceals it by a decent dress.* • "mr Spectator, " There is an evil under the sun, which has not yet come within your speculation, and is the censure, disesteem, and contempt, which some young fellows meet with from particular persons, for the reasonable methods they take to avoid them in general. This is by appearing in a better dress than may seem to a relation regularly consistent with a small fortune: and therefore may occasion a judgment of a suitable extravagance in other particulars; * Sec Noe. 264 and 280. but the disadvantage with which the man of narrow circumstances acts and speaks, is so feelingly set forth in a little book called The Christian Hero,* that the appearing to be otherwise is not only pardonable, but necessary. Every one knows the hurry of conclusions that are made in contempt of a person that appears to be calamitous; which makes it very excusable to prepare one's self for the company of those that are of a superior quality and fortune, by appearing to be in a better condition than one is, so far as such appearance shall not make us really of worse. "It is a Justine due to the character of one who suffers hard reflections from any particular person on this account, that such persons would inquire into his manner of spending his time; of wbich, though no further information can be had than that he remains so many hours in his chamber, yet, if this is cleared, to imagine that a reasonable creature, wrung with a narrow fortune, does not make the best use of this retirement, would he a conclusion extremely uncharitable. From what has, or will be said, I bope no consequence can be extorted, implying, that I would have any young fellow spend more time than the common leisure which bis studies require, or more money than his fortune or allowance may admit of, in the pursuit of an acquaintance with his betters: for as to bis time, the gross of that ought to be sacred to more substantial acquisitions; for each irrevocable moment of which he ought to believe he stands religiously accountable. And as to bis dress, I shall engage myself no further than in the modest defence of two plain suits a year: for being perfectly satisfied in Eutrapelus's contrivance of making a Mohock of a man, by presenting him with laced and embroidered suits, 1 would by no means be thought to controvert the conceit, by insinuating the advantages of foppery. It is an assertion which admits of much proof, that a stranger of tolerable sense, dressed like a gentleman, will be better received by those of quality above him, than one of much better parts, whose dress is regulated by the rigid notions of frugality. A man's appearance falls within the censure of every one who sees him; his parts and learning very few are judges of; and even upon these few, they can't at first be well intruded; for policy and good breeding will counsel him to be reserved among strangers, and to support himself only by the common spirit of conversation. Indeed among the injudicious, the words ' delicacy, idiom, fine images, structure of periods, genius, fire,' and the rest, made use of with a frugal and comely gravity, will maintain the figure of immense reading, and the depth of criticism. "All gentlemen of fortune, at least the young and middle-aged, are apt to pride themselves a little too much upon their dress, and consequently to value others in some measure upon the same con * See No 356. sideration. With what confusion is a man of figure obliged to return the civilities of the hat to a person whose air and attire hardly entile him to it! for whom nevertheless the other has a particular esteem, though he is ashamed to have it challenged in so public a manner. It must be allowed, that any young fellow that affects to dress and appear genteelly, might, with artificial management, save* ten pounds a-year; as instead of fine holland, he might mourn in sackcloth, and in other particulars be proportionably shabby: but of what service would this sum be to avert any misfortune, whilst it would leave him deserted by the little good acquaintance he has, and prevent his gaining any other? As the appearance of an easy fortune is necessary towards making one, I don t know but it might be of advantage sometimes to throw into one's discourse certain exclamations upon bank stock, and to shew a marvellous surprise upon its fall, as well as the most affected triumph upon its rise. The veneration and respect which the practice of all ages has preserved to appearances, without doubt suggested to our tradesmen that wise and politic custom, to apply and recommend themselves to the public by all those decorations upon their sign-posts and houses, which the most eminent hands in the neighbourhood can furnish them with. What can be more attractive to a man of letters than that immense erudition of all ages and languages, which a skilful bookseller, in conjunction with a painter, shall image upon his column, and the extremities of his shop ? The same spirit of maintaining a handsome appearance reigns among the grave and solid apprentices of the law (here I could be particularly dull in proving the word apprentice to be significant of a barrister); and you may easily distinguish who has most lately made his pretensions to business, by the whitest and most ornamental frame of his window: if indeed the chamber is a ground room, and has rails before it, the finery is of necessity more extended, and the pomp of business better maintained. And what.can be a greater indication of the dignity of dress, than that burdensome finery which is the regular habit of our judges, nobles, and bishops, with which, upon certain days, we see them encumbered? And though it might be said, this is awful, and necessary for the dignity of the State, yet the wisest of them have been remarkable, before they arrived at their present stations, for being very well dressed persons As to my own part, I am near thirty; and since I left school have not been idle, which is a modern phrase for having studied hard. I brought off a clean system of moral philosophy, and a tolerable jargon of metaphysics, from the university; since that, I have been engaged in the clearing part of the perplexed style and matter of the law, which so hereditarily descends to all its professors. To all which severe studies I have thrown in, at proper interims, the pretty learning of the classics. Notwithstanding which, I am what Shakespeare calk a fellow of no mark or likelihood; whieh makes me under-taan the more fully, that since the regular methods of making friends and a fortune by the mere force of a profession is so very slow and uncertain, a man should take all reasonable opportunities, tv enlarging a good acquaintance, to court that time and chance which is said to happen to every man." Sixslx. T. No. 361. THURSDAY, APRIL 24 1712. Tartarean! intendit vocem ; qua protinus omnia The blast Tartarean spreads its notes around; I Have lately received the following letter from a country gen ■WBtfli " Mr. Spectator, "thk night before I left London I went to see a play called the Hnmorous Lieutenant.* Upon the rising of the curtain I waa very much surprised with the great concert of cat-calls which was exhibited that evening, and began to think with myself that I had made a mistake, and gone to a music meeting instead of the playhouse. It appeared indeed a little odd to me, to see so many persons of quality, of both sexes, assembled together at a kind of eaterwanrrng; for I cannot look upon that performance to have been anything better, whatever the musicians themselves might think of it. As I had no acquaintance in the house to ask questions of, and was forced to go out of town early the next morning, I could not learn the secret of this matter. What I would therefore desire of you, is, to give me some account of this strange instrument, which I found the company called a cat-call; and partierfariy to let me know whether it be a piece of music lately come from Italy. For my own part, to be free with you, I would rather hear an English fiddle: though I durst not shew my dislike whilst I was in the playhouse, it being my chance to sit the very next man to one of the performers. " I am, Sir, " lour most affectionate friend and servant, " John Shallow^ Esq." In compliance witli Squire Shallow's request, I design this paper «s a dissertation upon the cat-call. In order to make myself * A tragi-comedy, by Beaumont and Fletcher, folio, 1647. VOL. III. K a mnster of the subject, I purchased one the beginning of last week, though not without great difficulty, being informed at two or three toy-shops that the players had lately bought them all up. I have since consulted many learned antiquaries in relation to its original, and find them very much divided among themselves upon that particular. A fellow of the Royal Society, who is my good friend, and a great proficient in the mathematical part of music, concludes, from the simplicity of its make, and the uniformity of its sound, that the cat-call is older than any of the inventions of Jubal. He observes very well, that musical instruments took their first rise from the notes of birds, and other melodious animals; " and what," says he, " was more natural than for the first ages of mankind to imitate the voice of a cat that lived under the same roof with them ?" He added, that the cat had contributed more to harmony than any other animal, as we are not only beholden to her for this wind instrument, but for our string music in general.* Another virtuoso of my acquaintance will not allow the cat-call to be older than Thespis, and is apt to think it appeared in the world soon after the ancient comedy; for which reason it has still a place in our dramatic entertainments. Nor must I here omit what a very curious gentleman, who bos lately returned from his travels, has more than once assured me, namely, that there was lately dug up at Rome the statue of a Momus, who holds an instrument in his right hand very much resembling our modern catcall. There are others who ascribe this invention to Orpheus, and look upon the cat-call to be one of those instruments which that famous musician made use of to draw the beasts about him. It is certain, that the roasting of a cat does not call together a greater audience of that species, than this instrument, if dexterously played upon in proper time and place. But, notwithstanding these various and learned conjectures, 1 cannot forbear thinking that the cat-call is originally a piece of English music. Its resemblance to the voice of some of our British songsters, as well as the use of it, which is peculiar to our nation, confirms me in this opinion. It has at least received great improvements among us, whether we consider the instrument itself, or those several quavers and graces which are thrown into the playing of it. Every one might be sensible of this, who heard that remarkable over-grown cat-call which was placed in the centre of the pit, and presided over all the rest at the celebrated performance lately exhibited at Drury-lane. Having said thus much concerning the original of the cat-call, we are in the next place to consider the use of it. The cut-call * The atrings being made of cat-gut. |