fort a glorious Spirit that it is the higheft Step to which human Nature can arrive. Triumph, Applaufe, Acclamation, are dear to the Mind of Man; but it is still a more exquifite Delight to fay to your felf, you have done well, than to hear the whole humane Race pronounce you glorious, except you your felf can join with them in your own Reflexions. A Mind thus equal and uniform may be deferted by little fashionable Admirers and Followers, but will ever be had in Reverence by Souls like it self. The Branches of the Oak endure all the Seasons of the Year, though its Leaves fall off in Autumn; and these too will be restored with the returning Spring. T

N° 173.

I'

Tuesday, September 18.

Remove fera monftra, tuæque

Saxificos vultus, quacunque ea, tolle Medufa. Ov. Met.

Na late Paper I mentioned the Project of an ingenious Author for the erecting of feveral Handicraft Prizes to be contended for by our British Artizans, and the Influence they might have towards the Improvement of our feveral Manufactures. I have fince that been very much furprized by the following Advertisement which I find in the Poft-Boy of the 11th Inftant, and again repeated in the Poft-Boy of the 15th.

N the 9th of October next will be run for upon ColeshillHeath in Warwickhite, aflate of G Guineas value, 3 Heats, by any Horfe, Mare, or Gelding that hath not won above thevalue of s 1. the winning Horfe to be Sold for 10l. to carry 10 Stone Weight, if 14 Hands high; if above or under, to carry or be allowed Weight for Inches, and to be entered Friday the 75th at the Swan in Coleshill, before 6 in the Evening. Alfo a Plate of lefs Value to be run for by Affes. The fame Day a Gold Ring to be Grinn'd for by Men.

THE firft of thefe Diverfions that is to be exhibited by the 10. Race-Hories, may probably have its Ufe; but the two laft, in which the Affes and Men are

con

concerned, seem to me altogether extraordinary and unaccountable. Why they fhould keep running Affes at Coleshill, or how making Mouths turns to account in Warwickshire, more than in any other Parts of England, I cannot apprehend. I have looked over all the Olympick Games, and do not find any thing in them like an Afs-Race, or a Match at Grinning. However it be, I am informed that feveral Affes are now kept in Body-Cloaths and fweated every Morning upon the Heath, and that all the Country Fellows within ten Miles of the Swan, grinn an Hour or two in their Glaffes every Morning, in order to qualify themselves for the 9th of October. The Prize which is propofed to be grinn'd for, has raifed fuch an Ambition among the Common People of Out-grinning one another, that many very difcerning Perfons are afraid it fhould fpoil most of the Faces in the Country; and that a Warwickshire Man will be known by his Grinn, as Roman Catholicks imagine a Kentish Man is by his Tail. The Gold Ring which is made the Prize of Deformity, is juft the Reverfe of the Golden Apple that was formerly made the Prize of Beauty, and should carry for its Poefic the old Motto inverted.

Detur tetriori.

Or to accommodate it to the Capacity of the Combatants The frightfull'ft Grinner

Be the Winner.

IN the mean while I would advise a Dutch Painter to be prefent at this great Controverfy of Faces, in order to make a Collection of the most remarkable Grinns that fhall be there exhibited.

I must not here omit an Account which I lately received of one of these grinning Matches from a Gentleman, who upon reading the above-mentioned Advertisement,. entertained a Coffee-houfe with the following Narrative. Upon the taking of Namure, amidst other publick Rejoicings made on that Occafion, there was a Gold Ring, given by a Whig Juftice of Peace to be grinn'd for. The firft Competitor that enter'd the Lifts, was a black fwarthy French Man, who accidentally paffed that way,

and

and being a Man naturally of a wither'd Look, and hard Features, promifed himself good Succefs. He was placed upon a Table in the great Point of View, and looking upon the Company like Milton's Death,

Grinn'd horribly a Ghastly Smile.

HIS Mufcles were fo drawn together on each side of his Face, that he fhewed twenty Teeth at a Grinn, and put the Country in fome Pain, left a Foreigner fhould carry away the Honour of the Day; but upon a further Tryal they found he was Mafter only of the merry Grinn.

THE next that mounted the Table was a Malecontent in those Days, and a great Mafter in the whole Art of Grinning, but particularly excelled in the angry Grinn. He did his Part fo well, that he is faid to have made half a dozen Women mifcarry; but the Juftice being apprised by one who stood near him, that the Fellow who grinned in his Face was a Jacobite, and being unwilling that a Difaffected Perfon fhould win the Gold Ring, and be looked upon as the best Grinner in the Country, he ordered the Oaths to be tendered unto him upon his quitting the Table, which the Grinner refufing, he was fet afide as an unqualified Perfon. There were feveral other Grotefque Figures that prefented themfelves, whichit would be too tedious to defcribe. I must not however omit a Ploughman, who lived in the further Partof the Country, and being very lucky in a Pair of long Lanthorn-Jaws, wrung his Face into fuch a hideous Grimace, that every Feature of it appeared under a different Distortion. The whole Company ftood aftonished at such a complicated Grinn, and were ready to affign the Prizeto him, had it not been proved by one of his Antagonifts that he had practifed with Verjuice for fome Days before, and had a Crab found upon him at the very time. of Grinning; upon which the beft Judges of Grinning declared it as their Opinion, that he was not to be looked upon as a fair Grinner, and therefore ordered him to be fet afide as a Cheat.

THE Prize, it feems, fell at length upon a Cobler, Giles Gorgon by Name, who produced feveral new Grinns of his own Invention, having been used to cut Faces for

many

many Years together over his Laft. At the very firft Grinn he caft every human Feature out of his Countenance, at the fecond he became the Face of a Spout, at the third a Baboon, at the fourth the Head of a Base-Viol, and at the fifth a Pair of Nut-crackers. The whole Affembly won. dered at his Accomplishments, and bestowed the Ring on him unanimoufly; but, what he esteemed more than all the reft, a Country Wench whom he had wooed in vain for above five Years before, was fo charmed with his Grinns, and the Applaufes which he received on all Sides, that he married him the Week following, and to this Fay wears the Prize upon her Finger, the Cobler having made ufe of it as his Wedding-Ring.

THIS Paper might perhaps feem very impertinent, if it grew ferious in the Conclufion. I would nevertheless leave it to the Confideration of those who are the Patrons of this monftrous Tryal of Skill, whether or no they are not guilty, in fome measure, of an Affront to their Species, in treating after this manner the Humane Face Di vine, and turning that Part of us, which has fo great an Image impreffed upon it, into the Image of a Monkey; whether the railing fuch filly Competitions among the Ignorant, propofing Prizes for fuch ufelefs Accomplishments, filling the common Peoples Heads with fuch fenfelefs Ambitions, and infpiring them with fuch abfurd Ideas of Superiority and Pref eminence, has not in it something immoral as well as ridiculous.

L

N° 174. Wednesday, September 19.

Hac memini & victum fruftra contendere Thyrfin.

T

Virg.

HERE is fcarce any thing more common than Animofities between Parties that cannot subsist but by their Agreement: This was well reprefented in the Sedition of the Members of the humane Body in the o'd Roman Fable. It is often the Cafe of leffer confederate States against a superior Power, which are hardly

held

held together, though their Unanimity is neceffary for their common Safety: And this is always the Cafe of the landed and traded Intereft of Great Britain, the Trader is fed by the Product of the Land, and the landed Man cannot be cloathed but by the Skill of the Trader; and yet thofe Interefts are ever jarring.

WE had laft Winter an Inftance of this at our Club,' in Sir ROGER DE COVERLEY and Sir ANDREW. FREEPORT, between whom there is generally a conftant, though friendly, Oppofition of Opinions. It happened that one of the Company, in an hiftorical Difcourfe, was obferving, that Carthaginian Faith was a proverbial Phrafe to intimate Breach of Leagues. Sir ROGER faid it could hardly be otherwife: That the Carthaginians were the greatest Traders in the World; and as Gain is the chief End of fuch a People, they never purfue any other: The Means to it are never regarded; they will, if it comes eafily, get Money honeftly; but if not, they will not fcruple to attain it by Fraud or Cozenage: And indeed, what is the whole Bufinefs of the Trader's Accompt, but to over-reach him who trufts to his Memory? But were that not fo, what can there great and noble be expected from him whose Attention is for ever fixed upon ballancing his Books, and watching over his Expences? And at belt, let Frugality and Parfimony be the Virtues of the Merchant, how much is his punctual Dealing below a Gentleman's Charity to the Poor, or Hofpitality among his Neighbours?

CAPTAIN SENTRY obferved Sir ANDREW very diligent in hearing Sir ROGER, and had a mind to turn the Difcourfe, by taking notice in general, from the highest to the lowest Parts of humane Society, there was a fecret, tho' unjuft, Way among Men of indulging the Seeds of Ill-nature and Envy, by comparing their own State of Life to that of another, and grudging the Approach of their Neighbour to their own Happiness; and on the other Side, he who is the lefs at his Eafe, repines at the other, who, he thinks, has unjustly the Advantage over him. Thus the Civil and Military Lifts look upon each other with much Ill-nature, the Soldier repines at the Courtier's Power, and the Courtier rallies the Sol