THE SEMI-COLON. NO. II. January 15th, 1845. COLLOQUY BETWEEN THE COLONEL AND THE 'SQUIRE. COLONEL. I say, 'Squire! I'm in a mighty hurry, but I've been thinking about them ar papers. I reckon I ought to give 'em back to the old fellow that lost 'em, if I can find him; so I called to see you about it, and get 'em. 'Squire. Colonel, you are an honest, worthy fellow, but I think you had better leave these papers with me. The old traveller, whose wallet they came from, has no right to them, for there's no doubt they were stolen; and though I can't restore them to their original owners, I can give them to the world, to which they properly belong. C. Well! I suspicioned the old rascal when I found he would n't stop to take a drink. I'd a mighty notion to lick him for it then; but I'll do it, if ever I catch him, I reckon. What's his name? 'S. His name? It's Edax Rerum; but he goes by several other names, according to circumstances. C. Edax Rerum-Rerum? There aint no such name in our D parts, and I'll lick him the harder for having sich an outlandish name. He can go ahead mighty rapid, but I'll catch him. But about that ar Semi-colon club? Have you found out what a Semicolon club is? 'S. Why, yes, I think I have, but it is only inferentially. From these papers I infer that a Semi-colon club is an assemblage of grave and profound philosophers, politicians, poets and moralists of both sexes, who meet periodically for the purpose of giving their opinions, in writing, on the most important subjects which concern the general welfare of mankind. I find here their opinions upon some of the most useful subjects of human knowledge; and I think it my duty to give them publicity, without fear, favor or affection, and you may trust every thing to me with perfect confidence. C. Well, 'Squire, I s'pose you'll do about right, so go ahead. And if any body faults you for it, jest let me know, and I'll lick him as bad as I'm goin to lick the Spaniards-till he's satisfied you're right. So good-bye. 'S. Good-bye, Colonel. Now there's as good a living proof as I should wish to see, of the necessity of making early education an invariable and necessary concomitant of free suffrage. There's a man, who, without those superior and commanding talents that will overcome all circumstances, and enable him to acquire an education for himself, and raise himself to eminence and distinction in spite of fortune; but with talents above mediocrity, with warm and generous impulses and kindly feelings, which would have enabled him to be useful to his country, and especially to his immediate neighbors, thrust forward into public station without the knowledge necessary to fit him for it; because his constituents and himself alike were ignorant of what was necessary in the qualification of a public servant; and then, instead of acquiring the respect and esteem of his fellow-citizens generally, was made the jest of men greatly COLLOQUY BETWEEN THE COLONEL AND THE 'SQUIRE. 27 his inferiors in all that is valuable in man, merely because they had those advantages of early education of which he was deprived. And, for a while, he was led to support measures, which, as soon as he acquired the knowledge he ought to have possessed before becoming a legislator, he knew to be destructive to the interests of his country, and tending only to help demagogues to divide the spoils of victory. But I must go on with my arrangement of these papers, for I find that they are properly appreciated by the public, and that I am called upon to continue the supply of wisdom and knowledge from this source. ESSAY ON MAN. CHAPTER VI. CONCERNING THE MAN IN THE MOON. This lantern doth the horned Moon present, SHAKSPEARE. Dan, said the Man in the Moon, taking a pinch of snuff, you must not stay here. CROKER. THE most remarkable characteristic of the man who is the subjeet of our present chapter is his extraordinary ignorance. This is so great, that when a person says he knows no more of any subject "than the Man in the Moon," it is considered that the ne plus ultra of ignorance is expressed. Even the "Pope of Rome" has been generally considered as inferior in this qualification to the man we are speaking of, although his reputation is, with some persons, of a similar kind. It is remarkable that this characteristic of a man in so elevated a situation should, in former times, have excited so little of the attention of astronomers and philosophers. At the present day we have men in elevated stations nearer home who are as highly distinguished by their ignorance as this dignitary, towards whom so much of our attention is directed that we neglect those at a distance more than is consistent with that spirit of philosophical research which characterizes our age. It seems to be generally taken for granted that the affairs of the moon are sufficiently well managed, notwithstanding the extraordinary want of knowledge on the part of the man in it; and it is probably inferred from this circumstance that men in high stations have no need of knowledge. This, at least, appears to be the opinion of the men who fill some of the highest offices in our country respecting themselves. It may, perhaps, be supposed by some, that the communications that are continually made to the moon by lovers and poets, in the form of sonnets, apostrophes, soliloquies, &c., must convey such a mass of information, that "the man," if he reads or hears them, must have had his character entirely changed, and, by this time, know a great deal. Such persons, however, do not reflect that those who do not possess any knowledge cannot communicate any; and that, therefore, words may be strung together in various forms, and heard and read very extensively, without making the hearer or reader a whit the wiser. If any one doubt this, let him attend the debates in Congress, or attempt to read the speeches made there. Besides this, it is remarked that these compositions are apt to be couched in such a turgid, inflated style, that even the wisest and most sagacious men on earth could not understand them; and, therefore, it is not to be expected that one so ignorant as him of the moon, could be profited thereby: and as we have never remarked that any of his actions or movements appear to be, in any degree, influenced by them, it is probable that he understands no more of their meaning than we on earth do. It is therefore probable, that a lamentable state of lunar ignorance still continues, and this, we presume, has excited the sympathy of our southern |