send us the furniture you forbid at the playhouse, the heroes appear only like sturdy beggars, and the heroines gypsies. We have had but one part which was performed and dressed with propriety, and that was Justice CLODPATE: this was so well done, that it offended Mr Justice OVERDO, who, in the midst of our whole audience, was, like QUIXOTE in the puppet-show, so highly provoked, that he told them, if they would move compassion, it should be in their own persons, and not in the characters of distressed princes and potentates: he told them, if they were so good at finding the way to people's hearts, they should do it at the end of bridges or church-porches, in their proper vocation of beggars. This (the Justice says) they must expect, since they could not be contented to act heathen warriors, and such fellows as ALEXANDIR, but must presume to make a mockery of one of the Quorum.

R.

Your servant."

NO. 49.—THURSDAY, APRIL 26. 1711.
[BY STELLE.

-Hominem pagina nostra sapit.

Men and their manners. I describe.

ON THOSE WHO FIGURE AT COFFEE-HOUSES.

MART.

Ir is very natural for a man who is not turned for mirth. ful meetings of men, or assemblies of the fair sex, to delight in that sort of conversation which we find in coffee-houses. Here a man of my temper is in his element; for if he cannot talk, he can still be more agreeable to his company, as well as pleased in himself in being only a hearer. It is a secret known but to few, yet of no small use in the conduct of life, that when you fall into a man's conversation, the first thing you should consider is, whether he has a greater inclination to hear you, or that you should hear him. The latter is the most general desire; and I know very able flatterers that never speak a word in praise of the persons from whom they

L

obtain daily favours, but still practise a skilful attention to whatever is uttered by those with whom they converse. We are very curious to observe the behaviour of great men and their clients: but the same passions and interests move men in lower spheres: and I (that have nothing else to do but make observations) see in every parish, street, lane, and alley of this populous city, a little potentate that has his court and his flatterers, who lay snares for his affection and favour, by the same arts that are practised upon men in higher stations.

In the place I most usually frequent, men differ rather in the time of day in which they make a figure, than in any real greatness above one another. 1, who am at the coffee-house at six in a morning, know that my friend BEAVER the haberdasher has a levee of more undissembled friends and admirers than most of the courtiers or generals of Great Britain. Every man about him has, perhaps, a newspaper in his hand; but none can pretend to guess what step will be taken in any one court of Europe, till Mr BEAVER has thrown down his pipe, and declares what measures the allies must enter into upon this new posture of affairs. Our coffee-house is near one of the Inns of Court, and BEAVER has the audience and admiration of bis neighbours from six till within a quarter of eight, at which time he is interrupted by the students of the house; some of whom are ready dressed for Westminster, at eight in the morning, with faces as busy as if they were retained in every cause there; and others come in their nightgowns to saunter away their time, as if they never designed to go thither. I do not know that I meet, in any my walks, objects which move both my spleen and laughter so effectually as these young fellows at the Grecian, Squire's, Searl's, and all other coffee-houses adjacent to the law, who rise early for no other purpose but to publish their laziness. One would think these young virtuosos take a gay cap and flippers, with a scarf and party-coloured gown, to be ensigns of dignity; for the vain things approach each other with an air, which shews they regard one another for their vestments. I have observed, that the superiority among these proceeds from an opinion of gallantry and fashion: the gentleman in the strawberry sash, who presides so much over the rest,

of

has, it seems, subscribed to every opera this last winter, and is supposed to receive favours from one of the

actresses.

When the day grows too busy for these gentlemen to enjoy any longer the pleasures of their defbabille with any manner of confidence, they give place to men who have business or good sense in their faces, and come to the coffee-house either to transact affairs, or enjoy con versation. The persons to whose behaviour and discourse I have most regard, are such as are between these two sorts of men; such as have not spirits too active to be happy and well pleased in a private condition, nor com plexions too warm to make them neglect the duties and relations of life. Of these sort of men consist the worthier part of mankind; of these are all good fathers, generous brothers, sincere friends, and faithful subjects. Their entertainments are derived rather from reason than

imagination; which is the cause that there is no impatience or instability in their speech or action. You see in their countenances they are at home, and in quiet possession of the present instant, as it passes, without desiring to quicken it by gratifying any passion, or prosecuting any new design. These are the men formed for society, and those little communities which we express by the word neighbourhoods.

The coffee-house is the place of rendezvous to all that live near it, who are thus turned to relish calm and ordinary life. EUBULUS presides over the middle hours of the day, when this assembly of men meet together. He enjoys a great fortune handsomely, without launching into expence; and exerts many noble and useful qualities, without appearing in any public employment. His wisdom and knowledge are serviceable to all that think fit to make use of them; and he does the office of a counsel, a judge, an executor, and a friend to all his acquaintance, not only without the profits which attend such offices, but also without the deference and homage which are usually paid to them. The giving of thanks is displeasing to him. The greatest gratitude you can shew him, is to let him see you are the better man for his services; and that you are as ready to oblige others as he is to oblige

you.

In the private exigencies of his friends he lends, at

A

legal value, considerable sums, which he might highly increase by rolling in the public stocks. He does not consider in whose hands his money, will improve most,. but where it will do most good..

EUBULUS has so great an authority in his little diurnal audience, that when he shakes his head at any piece of public news, they all of them appear dejected; and, on the contrary, go home to their dinners with a good stomach. and cheerful aspect, when EUBULUS seems to intimate that things go well. Nay, their veneration towards him is so great, that when they are in other company they speak and. act after him; are wise in his sentences, and are no sooner sat down at their own tables, but they hope or fear, rejoice. or despond, as they saw him do at the coffee-house. In a word, every man is EUBULUS as soon as his back is turned..

Having here given an account of the several reigns that succeed each other from day-break till dinner time,. I shall mention the monarchs of the afternoon on another occasion, and shut up the whole series of them with the history of Toм the tyrant (a); who, as first minister of the coffee-house, takes the government upon him between the hours of 11 and 12 at night, and gives his. orders in the most arbitrary manner to the servants below him, as to the disposition of liquors, coal, and cinders. R.

Nunquam aliud natura, aliud sapientia dixit. JUV. SAT. xiv. 321. Good sense and Nature always speak the same..

ACCOUNT OF LONDON BY FOUR INDIAN KINGS..

WHEN the four Indian Kings were in this country a bout a twelvemonth ago, I often mixed with the rabble, and followed them a whole day together, being wonderfully struck with the sight of every thing that is new or uncommon. I have, since their departure, employed a friend to make many inquiries of their landlord the upholsterer relating to their manners and conversation,

as also concerning the remarks which they made in this: country: for, next to the forming a right notion of such strangers, I should be desirous of learning what ideas they have conceived of us.

The upholsterer finding my friend very inquisitive about these his lodgers, brought him some time since a little bundle of papers, which he assured him were written by king SA GA YEAN QUA RASH Tow, and, as he supposes, left behind by some mistake. These papers are now translated, and contain abundance of very odd observations, which I find this little fraternity of kings made during their stay in the isle of Great Britain. shall present my reader with a short specimen of them in this paper, and may perhaps communicate more to him hereafter. In the article of London are the following words, which without doubt are meant of the church of St PAUL (a).

I.

On the most rising part of the town there stands a huge house, big enough to contain the whole nation of which I am king. Our good brother E Tow O KOAM, king of the Rivers, is of opinion it was made by the hands of that great GOD to whom it is consecrated. The kings of Granajah and of the Six Nations believe it was created with the earth, and produced on the same day with the sun and moon. But for my own part, by the best information I could get of this matter, I am apt to think that this prodigious pile was fashioned into the shape it now bears by several tools and instruments, of which they have a wonderful variety in this country. It was probably at first an huge misshapen rock that grew upon the top of the hill, which the natives of the country (after having cut it into a kind of regular figure) bored and hollowed with incredible pains and industry, until they had wrought in it all those beautiful vaults and caverns into which it is. divided at this day. As soon as this rock was thus curiously scooped to their liking, a prodigious number of hands must have been employed in chipping the outside of it, which is now as smooth as the surface of a pebble; and is in several places hewn out into pillars that stand like the trunks of so many trees bound about the top with garlands of leaves. It is probable that