Ser. Your cloak, madam. My mistress is impatient. [Exit Servant. Pray be pacified. I shall die with Miss Nev. I come. If I leave you thus, apprehension. Enter Servant. Ser. Your fan, muff, and gloves, madam, The horses are waiting. Miss Nev. O, Mr. Marlow! if you knew what a scene of constraint and illnature lies before me, I'm sure it would convert your resentment into pity. Mar. I'm so distracted with a variety of passions, that I don't know what I do. Forgive me, madam. George, forgive me. You know my hasty temper, and should not exasperate it. Hast. The torture of my situation is my only excuse. Miss Nev. Well, my dear Hastings, if you have that esteem for me that I think, that I am sure you have, your constancy for three years will but increase the happiness of our future connexion. If—— Mrs. Hard. (Within.) Miss Neville. Constance, why Constance, I say. Miss New. I'm coming. Well, constancy, remember, constancy is the word. Hast. My heart! how can I support, [Exit. this? To be so near happiness, and such happiness! Mar. (To TONY.) You see now, young gentleman, the effects of your folly. What might be amusement to you, is here disappointment, and even distress. Tony. (From a reverie.) Ecod, I have hit it. It's here. Your hands. Yours and yours, my poor Sulky!-My boots there, ho!-Meet me two hours hence at the bottom of the garden; and if you don't find Tony Lumpkin a more goodnatured fellow than you thought for, I'll give you leave to take my best horse, and Bet Bouncer into the bargain. along. My boots, ho! Come [Exeunt. ACT THE FIFTH. (SCENE continued.) Enter HASTINGS and Servant Hast. You saw the old lady and Neville drive off, you say? Ser. Yes, your honour. They wer in a post-coach, and the young went on horseback. They're thirty off by this time. Hast. Then all my hopes are over Ser. Yes, sir. Old Sir Charles arrived. He and the old gentleman of mistake this half hour. They are co house have been laughing at Mr. Marles this way. Hast. Then I must not be seen. S bottom of the garden. This is abou now to my fruitless appointment at the time. Enter SIR CHARLES and HARDCASTLE Hard. Ha! ha ha! The peremptor tone in which he sent forth his subline commands! Sir Cha. And the reserve with which I suppose he treated all your advances. something in me above a common innHard. And yet he might have seen keeper, too. Sir Cha. Yes, Dick, but he mistook you for an uncommon innkeeper, ha! ha! ha! Hard. Well, I'm in too good spirits to think of anything but joy. Yes, my dear friend, this union of our families will make our personal friendships heredibut smalltary; and though my daughter's fortune is Sir Cha. Why, Dick, will you talk of fortune to me? My son is possessed of more than a competence already, and girl to share his happiness and increase it. can want nothing but a good and virtuous If they like each other, as you say they do like each other. My daughter as good as themselves, you know. warmest manner myself; and here he him. Enter MARLOW. Mar. I come, sir, once more, to ask pardon for my strange conduct. I can scarce reflect on my insolence without confusion. Hard. Tut, boy, a trifle! You take it too gravely. An hour or two's laughing with my daughter will set all to rights again. She'll never like you the worse for it. Mar. Sir, I shall be always proud of her approbation. Hard. Approbation is but a cold word, Mr. Marlow; if I am not deceived, you have something more than approbation thereabouts. You take me? Mar. Really, sir, I have not that happi ness. Hard. Come, boy, I'm an old fellow, and know what's what as well as you that are younger. I know what has passed between you; but mum. Mar. Sure, sir, nothing has passed between us but the most profound respect on my side, and the most distant reserve on hers. You don't think, sir, that my impudence has been passed upon all the rest of the family. Hard. Impudence! No, I don't say that-not quite impudence-though girls like to be played with, and rumpled a little too, sometimes. But she has told no tales, I assure you. Mar. I never gave her the slightest cause. Hard. Well, well, I like modesty in its place well enough. But this is over-acting, young gentleman. You may be open. Your father and I will like you all the better for it. Mar. May I die, sir, if I ever—-— Hard. I tell you, she don't dislike you; and as I'm sure you like her- Mar. Dear sir--I protest, sirHard. I see no reason why you should not be joined as fast as the parson can tie you. Mar. But hear me, sirHard. Your father approves the match, I admire it; every moment's delay will be doing mischief. So Mar. But why won't you hear me? By all that's just and true, I never gave Miss Hardcastle the slightest mark of my attachment, or even the most distant hint to suspect me of affection. We had but one interview, and that was formal, modest, and uninteresting. Hard. (Aside.) This fellow's formal modest impudence is beyond bearing. Sir Cha. And you never grasped her hand, or made any protestations? Mar. As Heaven is my witness, I came down in obedience to your commands. I saw the lady without emotion, and parted without reluctance. I hope you'll exact no farther proofs of my duty, nor prevent me from leaving a house in which I suffer so many mortifications. [Exit. Sir Cha. I'm astonished at the air of sincerity with which he parted. Hard. And I'm astonished at the deliberate intrepidity of his assurance. Sir Cha. I dare pledge my life and honour upon his truth. Hard. Here comes my daughter, and would stake my happiness upon her veracity. I Enter MISS HARDCASTLE. Hard. Kate, come hither, child. Answer us sincerely and without reserve: has Mr. Marlow made you any professions of love and affection? Miss Hard. The question is very abrupt, sir. But since you require unreserved sincerity, I think he has. Hard. (To SIR CHARLES.) You see. Sir Cha. And pray, madam, have you and my son had more than one interview? Miss Hard. Yes, sir, several. Hard. (To SIR CHARLES.) You see. Sir Cha. But did he profess any attachment? Miss Hard. A lasting one. Sir Cha. Did he talk of love? Sir Cha. Amazing! And all this formally? Miss Hard. Formally. Hard. Now, my friend, I hope you are satisfied. Sir Cha. And how did he behave, madam? Miss Hard. As most profest admirers do: said some civil things of my face, talked much of his want of merit, and the greatness of mine; mentioned his heart, gave a short tragedy speech, and ended with pretended rapture. Sir Cha. Now I'm perfectly convinced, indeed. I know his conversation among women to be modest and submissive: this forward canting ranting manner by no means describes him; and, I am confident, he never sat for the picture. Miss Hard. Then, what, sir, if I should convince you to your face of my sincerity? If you and my papa, in about half an hour, will place yourselves behind that screen, you shall hear him declare his passion to me in person. Sir Cha. Agreed. And if I find him what you describe, all my happiness in him must have an end. Miss Hard. And if you don't find him [Exit, what I describe-I fear my happiness must never have a beginning. [Exeunt. SCENE changes to the back of the Garden. Enter HASTINGS. Hast. What an idiot am I, to wait here for a fellow who probably takes a delight in mortifying me. He never intended to be punctual, and I'll wait no longer. What do I see? It is he! and perhaps with news of my Constance. Enter TONY, booted and spattered. Hast. My honest 'squire! I now find you a man of your word. This looks like friendship. Tony. Ay, I'm your friend, and the best friend you have in the world, if you knew but all. This riding by night, by the bye, is cursedly tiresome. It has shook me worse than the basket of a stage-coach. Hast. But how? where did you leave your fellow-travellers? Are they in safety? Are they housed? Tony. Five and twenty miles in two hours and a half is no such bad driving. The poor beasts have smoked for it: rabbit me, but I'd rather ride forty miles after a fox than ten with such varment. Hast. Well, but where have you left the ladies? I die with impatience. Tony. Left them! Why where should I leave them but where I found them? Hast. This is a riddle. that goes round the house, and round the I have By jingo, there's not place but they can tell the taste of a pond or a slough within five miles of the Hast. Ha! ha! ha! I understand: you took them in a round, while they sup posed themselves going forward, and so you have at last brought them home again. them down Feather-bed Lane, where we Tony. You shall hear. I first took stuck fast in the mud. I then rattled them Hill. I then introduced them to the gibbet crack over the stones of Up-and-down on Heavy-tree Heath; and from that, with the horse-pond at the bottom of the garden. a circumbendibus, I fairly lodged them in Hast. But no accident, I hope? Tony. No, no. Only mother is confoundedly frightened. She thinks herself forty miles off. She's sick of the journey; and the cattle can scarce crawl. your own horses be ready, you may whip So if off with cousin, and I'll be bound that no soul here can budge a foot to follow you. Hast. My dear friend, how can I be grateful? Tony. Ay, now it's dear friend, noble 'squire. Just now, it was all idiot, cub, your way of fighting, I say. and run me through the guts. Dams take a knock in this part of the country, After we we kiss and be friends. But if you fal be dead, and you might go kiss the hang run me through the guts, then I should man. Hast. The rebuke is just. But I must hasten to relieve Miss Neville: if you kee the old lady employed, I promise to take care of the young one. (Exit Hastings Vanish. She's got from the pond, ar Tony. Never fear me. Here she coUOS draggled up to the waist like a mermaid Enter MRS. HARDCASTLE. Shook! Battered to death. I shall net Mrs. Hard. Oh, Tony, I'm kille! against the quickset hedge, has done survive it. That last jolt, that laud business. Tony. Alack, mamma, it was all Tony. Riddle me this then. What's own fault. You would be for run away by night, without knowing one inch of the way. Mrs. Hard. I wish we were at home again. I never met so many accidents in so short a journey. Drenched in the mud, overturned in a ditch, stuck fast in a slough, jolted to a jelly, and at last to lose our way. Whereabouts do you think we are, Tony? Tony. By my guess we should come upon Crackskull common, about forty miles from home. Mrs. Hard. O lud! O lud! The most notorious spot in all the country. We only want a robbery to make a complete night on't. Tony. Don't be afraid, mamma, don't be afraid. Two of the five that kept here are hanged, and the other three may not find us. Don't be afraid.-Is that a man that's galloping behind us? No; it's only a tree. Don't be afraid. Mrs. Hard. The fright will certainly kill me. Tony. Do you see anything like a black hat moving behind the thicket? Mrs. Hard. Oh, death! Tony. No; it's only a cow. afraid, mamma; don't be afraid. Tony. What need you go, sir, if I tell you? Hem. I'll lay down my life for the truth-hem-I'll tell you all, sir. [Detaining him. Hard. I tell you I will not be detained. It's in vain to expect Don't be I insist on seeing. Mrs. Hard. As I'm alive, Tony, I see a man coming towards us. Ah! I'm sure on't. If he perceives us, we are undone. Tony. (Aside.) Father-in-law, by all that's unlucky, come to take one of his night walks. (To her.) Ah, it's a highwayman with pistols as long as my arm. A damned ill-looking fellow. Mrs. Hard. (Running forward from behind.) O lud! he'll murder my poor boy, my darling! Here, good gentleman, whet your rage upon me. Take my money, my life, but spare that young gentleman; spare my child, if you have any mercy. Hard. My wife, as I'm a Christian. Mrs. Hard. Good Heaven defend us! From whence can she come? or what does He approaches. she mean? Tony. Do you hide yourself in that Mrs. Hard. (Kneeling.) Take compasthicket, and leave me to manage him.sion on us, good Mr. Highwayman. Take If there be any danger, I'll cough, and cry our money, our watches, all we have, but hem When I cough, be sure to keep spare our lives. We will never bring close. (MRS. HARDCASTLE hides behind you to justice; indeed we won't, good Mr. a tree in the back scene.) Highwayman. Enter HARDCASTLE. Hard. I'm mistaken, or I heard voices of people in want of help. Oh, Tony! is that you? I did not expect you so soon back. Are your mother and her charge in safety? Tony. Very safe, sir, at my aunt Pedigree's. Hem. Hard. I believe the woman's out of her senses. What, Dorothy, don't you know me? Mrs. Hard. Mr. Hardcastle, as I'm alive! My fears blinded me. But who, my dear, could have expected to meet you here, in this frightful place, so far from home? What has brought you to follow us? SCENE changes. CASTLE. Hard. Sure, Dorothy, you have not lost your wits? So far from home, when Enter SIR CHARLES and MISS HARDyou are within forty yards of your own door! (To him.) This is one of your old tricks, you graceless rogue, you. (To her.) Don't you know the gate, and the mulberry-tree; and don't you remember the horse-pond, my dear? Mrs. Hard. Yes, I shall remember the horse-pond as long as I live; I have caught my death in it. (To TONY.) And is it to you, you graceless varlet, I owe all this? I'll teach you to abuse your mother, I will. Tony. Ecod, mother, all the parish says you have spoiled me, and so you may take the fruits on't. Mrs. Hard. I'll spoil you, I will. [Follows him off the stage. Exit. Hard. There's morality, however, in his reply. [Exit. Enter HASTINGS and MISS NEVILLE. Hast. My dear Constance, why will you deliberate thus? If we delay a moment, all is lost for ever. Pluck up a little resolution, and we shall soon be out of the reach of her malignity. Miss Nev. I find it impossible. My spirits are so sunk with the agitations I have suffered, that I am unable to face any new danger. Two or three years' patience will at last crown us with happi ness. Hast. Such a tedious delay is worse than inconstancy. Let us fly, my charmer. Let us date our happiness from this very moment. Perish fortune! Love and content will increase what we possess beyond a monarch's revenue. Let me prevail! Miss Nev. No, Mr. Hastings, no. Prudence once more comes to my relief, and I will obey its dictates. In the moment of passion fortune may be despised, but it ever produces a lasting repentance. I'm resolved to apply to Mr. Hardcastle's compassion and justice for redress. Hast. But though he had the will, he has not the power to relieve you. Miss Nev. But he has influence, and upon that I am resolved to rely. Hast. I have no hopes. But since you persist, I must reluctantly obey you. [Exeunt. Sir Cha. What a situation am I in! If what you say appears, I shall then find a guilty son. If what he says be true, I shall then lose one that, of all others, I most wished for a daughter. Miss Hard. I am proud of your appro bation, and to show I merit it, if you place yourselves as I directed, you shall hear his explicit declaration. But he comes. Sir Cha. I'll to your father, and keep him to the appointment. [Exit Sir Charles. Enter MARLOW. Mar. Though prepared for setting out, I come once more to take leave; nor did I, till this moment, know the pain I feel in the separation. Miss Hard. (In her own natural manner.) I believe these sufferings cannot be very great, sir, which you can so easily remove. A day or two longer, perhaps, might lessen your uneasiness, by showing the little value of what you now think proper to regret. Mar. (Aside.) This girl every moment improves upon me. (To her.) It must not be, madam. I have already trifled too long with my heart. My very pride begins to submit to my passion. The disparity of education and fortune, the anger of a parent, and the contempt of my equals, begin to lose their weight; and nothing can restore me to myself but this painful effort of resolution. Miss Hard. Then go, sir: I'll urge nothing more to detain you. Though my family be as good as hers you came down to visit, and my education, I hope, no inferior, what are these advantages without equal affluence? I must remain contentei with the slight approbation of imputed merit; I must have only the mockery of your addresses, while all your serious am are fixed on fortune. Enter HARDCASTLE and SIR CHARLES from behind. Sir Char. Here, behind this screen. Hard, Ay, ay; make no noise. r. engage my Kate covers him with confusa at last. L |