MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR.

ACT I.

SCENE I.-WINDSOR. Before PAGE's House.

Enter Justice SHallow, SlendER, and Sir HUGH EVANS.

Shal. Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star-chamber matter of it: if he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, Esquire.

Slen. In the county of Gloster, justice of peace, and coram.

Shal. Ay, cousin Slender, and cust-alorum.

Slen. Ay, and ratolorum too; and a gentleman born, master parson; who writes himself armigero,-in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, armigero.

Shal. Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three hundred

years.

Slen. All his successors, gone before him, have don't; and all his ancestors, that come after him, may: they may give the dozen white luces in their coat.

Shal. It is an old coat.

Eva. The dozen white louses do become an old coat well; it agrees well, passant: it is a familiar beast to man, and signifies— love.

Shal. The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat.

Slen. I may quarter, coz ?

Shal. You may, by marrying.

Eva. It is marring, indeed, if he quarter it.

Shal. Not a whit.

Eva. Yes, py'r lady; if he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures: but that is all one. If Sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you,

I am of the church, and will be glad to do my benevolence, to make atonements and compromises between you.

Shal. The council shall hear it: it is a riot.

Eva. It is not meet the council hear a riot; there is no fear of God in a riot the council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that.

Shal. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.

Eva. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it: and there is also another device in my prain, which, peradventure, prings goot discretions with it: there is Anne Page, which is daughter to master George Page, which is pretty virginity.

Slen. Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small, like a woman.

Eva. It is that fery person for all the 'orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of monies, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire, upon his death's-bed, (Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!) give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old. It were a goot motion, if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between master Abraham and mistress Anne Page.

Shal. Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound? Eva. Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny. Shal. I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts. Eva. Seven hundred pounds and possibilities, is good gifts. Shal. Well, let us see honest master Page. Is Falstaff there? Eva. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar, as I do despise one that is false; or as I despise one that is not true. The knight, Sir John, is there; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat the door for master Page. [Knocks.] What, ho! Got pless your house here!

Page. [Within.] Who's there?

Eva. Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and justice Shallow ; and here young master Slender, that peradventures, shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings.

Enter PAGE.

Page. I am glad to see your worships well. I thank you venison, master Shallow.

for my

Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you: much good do it your good heart! I wished your venison better; it was ill kill'd.-How doth good mistress Page?—and I thank you always with my heart, with my heart.

la;
Page. Sir, I thank

you.

Shal. Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.

Page. I am glad to see you, good master Slender.

Slen. How does your fallow greyhound, Sir? I heard say, he was outrun on Cotsall.

Page. It could not be judged, Sir.

Slen. You'll not confess, you'll not confess.

Shal. That he will not :-'tis your fault, 'tis your fault:-'Tis a good dog.

Page. A cur, Sir.

Shal. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog; can there be more said? he is good, and fair.-Is Sir John Falstaff here?

Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you.

Eva. It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.

Shal. He hath wronged me, master Page.

Page. Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.

Shal. If it be confessed, it is not redressed: is not that so, master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed, he hath ;-—at a word, he hath; -believe me :-Robert Shallow, Esquire, saith, he is wronged. Page. Here comes Sir John.

Enter Sir JOHN Falstaff, BarDOLPH, NYM, and PISTOL.

Fal. Now, master Shallow, you'll complain of me to the king? Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my lodge.

Fal. But not kissed your keeper's daughter?

Shal. Tut, a pin! this shall be answered.

Fal. I will answer it straight :—I have done all this.-That is now answered.

Shal. The council shall know this.

Fal. 'Twere better for you, if it were known in counsel: you'll be laughed at.

Eva. Pauca verba, Sir John; goot worts.

Fal. Good worts! good cabbage.-Slender, I broke your head; what matter have you against me?

Slen. Marry, Sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your coney-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol: they carried me to the tavern, and made me drunk, and afterwards picked my pocket.

Bard. You Banbury cheese!

Slen. Ay, it is no matter.

Pist. How now, Mephostophilus!

Slen. Ay, it is no matter.

Nym. Slice, I say! pauca, pauca; slice! that's my humour.

Slen. Where's Simple, my man?-can you tell, cousin?

Eva. Peace, I pray you.

Now let us understand: there is three

umpires in this matter, as I understand; that is-master Page,

fidelicet, master Page; and there is myself, fidelicet, myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter.

Page. We three, to hear it, and end it between them.

Eva. Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-book; and we will afterwards 'ork upon the cause, with as great discreetly as we

can.

Fal. Pistol,

Pist. He hears with ears.

Eva. The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, "He hears with ear?" Why, it is affectations.

Fal. Pistol, did you pick master Slender's purse?

Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he,—or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again else,—of seven groats in millsixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and two pence a-piece of Yead Miller, by these gloves.

Fal. Is this true, Pistol?

Eva. No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse.

Pist. Ha, thou mountain-foreigner!-Sir John and master mine, I combat challenge of this latten bilbo.—

Word of denial in thy labras here;

Word of denial: froth and scum, thou liest.

Slen. By these gloves, then, 'twas he.

Nym. Be avised, Sir, and pass good humours. I will say, “marry trap," with you, if you run the nuthook's humour on me; that is the very note of it.

Slen. By this hat, then, he in the red face had it; for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass.

Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John?

Bard. Why, Sir, for my part, I say, the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five sentences,—

Eva. It is his five "senses;" fie, what the ignorance is!

Bard. And being fap, Sir, was, as they say, cashier'd ; and so conclusions pass'd the careires.

Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter: I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves.

Eva. So Got 'udge me, that is a virtuous mind.

Fal. You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.

Enter ANNE PAGE with Wine; Mistress FORD and Mistress PAGE. Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within. [Exit ANNE PAGE.

Slen. O heaven! this is mistress Anne Page.