M

AN is faid to be a

TATE.

fociable animal, and,

as an instance of it, we may observe, that we take all occafions and pretences of forming ourselves into those little nocturnal assemblies, which are commonly known by the name of Clubs, When a fet of men find themselves agree in any particular, though never so trivial, they establish themselves into a kind of fraternity, and meet once or twice a week, upon the account of fuch a fantastic refemblance. I know a confiderable market-town, in which there was a club of fat men, that did not come together, as you may well suppose, to entertain one another with sprightliness and wit, but to keep one another in countenance; the room where the club met was fomething of the largest, and had two entrances, the one by a door of a moderate fize, and the other by a pair of folding doors. If a candidate for this corpulent club could make his entrance through the first, he was looked upon as unqualified; but if he stuck in the passage, and could not force his way through it, the foldingdoors were immediately thrown open for his reception, and he was saluted as a brother. I have heard that this club, though it consisted but of fifteen persons, weighed above three tun.

In oppofition to this society, there sprung up another, composed of scarecrows and skeletons, who being very meagre and envious, did all they could to thwart the defigns of their bulky brethren, whom they represented as men of dange rous principles; till at length they worked them out of the favour of the people, and confequently out of the magiftracy. These factions tore the corporation in pieces for feveral years, till at length they came to this accommodation; that the two bailiffs of the town should be annually chofen out of the two clubs; by which means the principal magiftrates are at this day coupled like rabbets, one fat and one lean,

Every one has heard of the club, or rather the confederacy of the Kings. This grand alliance was formed a little after the return of King Charles the Second, and admitted into it men of all qualities and profeffions, provided they agreed in the furname of King, which, as they imagined, sufficiently declared the owners of it to be altogether untainted with republican and antimo. narchical principles.

A Christian name has likewife been often used

as a badge of distinction, and made the occafion of a club. That of the George's, which used to meet at the sign of the George on St. George's.. day, and swear before George, is ftill fresh in every one's memory.

There are at present in several parts of this city what they call Street-Clubs, in which the chief inhabitants of the street converse together. every night, I remember, upon my enquiring after lodgings in Ormond-street, the landlord, to recommend that quarter of the town, told me, there was at that time a very good club in it; he also told me, upon farther discourse with him, that two or three noisy country-squires, who were fettled there the year before, had confiderably funk the price of house-rent; and that the club (to prevent the like inconveniencies for the future) had thoughts of taking every house that became vacant into their own hands, till they had found a tenant for it, of a sociable nature and good conversation.

The Hum-Drum club, of which I was formerly an unworthy member, was made up of very honeft gentlemen, of peaceable difpofitions, that used to fit together, fmoke their pipes, and say nothing till midnight. The Mum-club, as I am informed, is an inftitution of the fame nature, and as great an enemy to noise.

After these two innocent societies, I cannot forbear mentioning a very mischievous one, that was erected in the reign of King Charles the Second: I mean the Club of Duellists, in which none was to be admitted that had not fought his man. The Prefident of it was said to have killed half a dozen in single combat; and as for the other members, they took their seats according to the number of their slain, There was likewife a fide-table, for fuch as had only drawn blood, and shewn a laudable ambition of taking the first opportunity to qualify themselves for the first table. This club consisting only of men of honour, did not continue long, most of the members of it being put to the sword, or hanged, a little after its inftitution.

Our modern celebrated clubs are founded upon eating and drinking, which are points wherein most men agree, and in which the learned and illiterate, the dull and the airy, the philosopher and the buffoon, can all of them bear a part. The Kit-Cat itself is faid to have taken its original from a mutton-pye, The Beaf-Steak, and October clubs, are neither of them averse to eating and drinking, if we may form a judgment of them from their respective titles,

When men are thus knit together, by a love of society, not a spirit of faction, and do not me.t to cenfure or annoy those that are absent, but to enjoy one another: when they are thus combine 1 for their own improvement, or for the good of others, or at least to relax themselves from the business of the day, by an innocent and chearful conversation, there may be something very useful in these little institutions and establishments.

I cannot forbear concluding this paper with a scheme of laws that I met with upon a wall in a little alehouse: how I came thither I may inform my reader at a more convenient time. Thes laws were enacted by a knot of artifans and mechanics, who used to meet every night; and as there is something in them which gives us a pretty picture of low life, I shall tranfcribe them word for word,

RULES to be obferved in the Two-penny Club, erect ed in this place, for the prefervation of friendship and good neighbourhood.

I. Every member at his first coming in shall lay down his two-pence.

II. Every member shall fill his pipe out of his own box.

III. If any member absents himself, he shall forfeit a penny for the use of the club, unless in cafe of fickness or imprisonment,

IV. If any member swears or curses, his neighBour may give him a kick upon the shins.

V. If any member tells stories in the club that are not true, he thall forfeit for every third lye, an halfpenny.

VI. If any member strikes another wrongfully, he shall pay his club for him.

VII. If any member brings his wife into the club, he shall pay for whatever she drinks or

fmokes.

VIII. If any member's wife comes to fetch him home from the club, she shall speak to him without the door.

IX. If any member calls another cuckold, he shall be turned out of the club.

X. None shall be admitted into the club that is of the fame trade with any member of it.

XI. None of the club shall have his clothes or shoes made or mended, but by a brother member.

XII. No Non-juror shall be capable of being a member,

The morality of this little club is guarded by fuch wholsome laws and penalties, that I question not but my reader will be as well pleased with them, as he would have been with the Leges Convivales of Ben Johnson, the regulations of an old Roman club cited by Lipfius, or the rules of a Symposium in an ancient Greek author.

N° 10. MONDAY, MARCH 12.
Non aliter quam qui adverso vix flumine lembum
Remigiis fubigit: fi brachia fortè remifit,
Aique illum in præceps prono rapit alveus amni.

VIRG. Georg. I. ver. 201.

So the boat's brawny crew the current stem, And, flow advancing, struggle with the stream: But if they flack their hands, or cease to strive, Then down the flood with headlong hafte they drive.

IT

DRYDEN.

is with much fatisfaction that I hear this great city inquiring day by day after these my papers, and receiving my morning lectures with a becoming feriousness and attention. My publither tells me, that there are already three thousand of them distributed every day; so that if I allow twenty readers to every paper, which I look upon as a modest computation, I may reckon about threefcore thousand difciples in London and Westminster, who I hope will take care to diftinguish themselves from the thoughtless herd of their ignorant and unattentive brethren, Since I have raised to myself so great an audience, I shall spare no pains to make their instruction agreeable, and their diversion useful. For which reafons I shall endeavour to enliven morality with wit, and to teinper wit with morality, that my seaders may, if poffible, both ways find their ac

count in the speculation of the day. And to the end that their virtue and difcretion may not be short tranfient intermitting starts of thought. I have refolved to refresh their memories from day to day, till I have recovered them out of that defperate state of vice and folly into which the age is fallen. The mind that lies fallow but a single day, sprouts up in follies that are only to be killed by a constant and assiduous culture. It was said of Socrates, that he brought philosophy down from heaven, to inhabit among men; and I shall be ambitious to have it faid of me, that I have brought philosophy out of closets and libraries, schools and colleges, to dwell in clubs and affemblies, at tea-tables and in coffee-houses.

I would therefore in a very particular manner recommend these my speculations to all well-regulated families, that fet apart an hour every morning for tea and bread and butter; and would earnestly advise them for their good to order this paper to be punctually served up, and to be looked upon as a part of the tea-equipage.

Sir Francis Bacon obferves, that a well written book, compared with its rivals and antaronists, is like Mofes's ferpent, that immediately swallowed up and devoured those of the Ægyptians. I shall not be so vain as to think, that where the Spectator appears, the other public prints will vanish; but shall leave it to my readers confideration, whether it is not much better to be let inte the knowledge of one's felf, than to hear what passes in Muscovy or Pcland; and to amuse ourselves with such writings as tend to the wearing out of ignorance, passion, and prejudice, than such as naturally conduce to inflame hatreds, and make enmities irreconcileable.

In the next place I would recommend this paper to the daily perusal of those Gentlemen whom I cannot but confider as my good brothers and allies, I mean the fraternity of spectators, who live in the world without having any thing to do in it; and either by the affluence of their fortunes, or laziness of their difpofitions, have no other bufiness with the rest of mankind, but to look upon them. Under this class of men are comprehended all contemplative Tradesmen, titular Physicians, Fellows of the Royal Society, Templars that are not given to be contentious, and Statefrnen that are out of business; in short, every one that confiders the world as a theatre, and defires to form a right judgment of those who are the actors on it.

a

There is another fet of men that I must likewife lay claim to, whom I have lately called the Blanks of society, as being altogether unfurnished with ideas, till the business and converof the day hath supplied them. I have oft en confidered these poor fouls with an eye of great commiferarion, when I have heard them asking the first man they have met with, whether there was any news stirring? and by that means ga thering together materials for thinking. These needy perfons do not know what to talk of, 'till about twelve o'clock in the morning; for by that time they are pretty good judges of the weather, know which way the wind fits, and whether the Dutch mail be come in. As they lie at the mercy pertinent all the day long, according to the noof the first man they meet, and are grave and imtions, which they have imbibed in the morning, I would earnestly intreat them not to stir out of their chambers till they have read this paper, and do promise them that I will daily instil into them

fuch found and wholesome sentiments, as shall have a good effect on their conversation for the enfuing twelve hours.

But there are none to whom this paper will be more useful than to the female world. I have often thought there has not been fufficient pains taken in finding out proper employments and diversions for the fair ones. Their amusements feem contrived for them, rather as they are women, than as they are reasonable creatures; and are more adapted to the sex than to the species. The toilet is their great scene of business, and the right adjusting of their hair the principal employment of their lives. The forting of a fuit of ribbons is reckoned a very good morning's work; and if they make an excurfion to a mercer's or a toy-shop, so great a fatigue makes them unfit for any thing else all the day after. Their more ferious occupations are fewing and embroidery, and their greatest drudgery the preparation of jellies and sweet-meats. This, I say, is the state of ordinary women; though I know there are multi tudes of those of a more elevated life and converfation, that move in an exalted sphere of know ledge and virtue, that join all the beauties of the mind to the ornaments of dress, and inspire a kind of awe and respect, as well as love, into their male-beholders. I hope to increase the number of these by publishing this daily paper, which I shall always endeavour to make an innocent if not an improving entertainment, and by that means at least divert the minds of my female read ers from greater trifles. At the same time, as I would fain give some finishing touches to those which are already the most beautiful pieces in human nature, I shall endeavour to point out all those imperfections that are the blemishes, as well as those virtues which are the embellishments, of the fex. In the mean while I hope these my gentle readers, who have so much time on their hands, will not grudge throwing away a quarter of an hour in a day on this paper, since they may do it without any hindrance to business.

I know several of my friends and well-wishers are in great pain for me, lest I should not be able to keep up the spirit of a paper which I oblige myfelf to furnish every day; but to make them easy in this particular, I will promise them faithfully to give it over as foon as I grow dull. This I know will be matter of great raillery to the small wits; who will frequently put me in mind of my promise, defire me to keep my word, assure me that it is high high time to give over, with many other little pleasantries of the like nature, which men of a little smart genius cannot forbear throwing out against their best friends, when they have such a handle given them of being witty. But let them remember that I do hereby enter my caveat against this piece of raillery.

No 11. TUESDAY, MARCH 13,

Dat veniam corvis, vexat cenfura columbas.

C

Juv. Sat, ii. 1. 63,

The doves are cenfur'd, while the crows are spared.

able both to the young and the old. Her behaviour is very frank, without being in the least blameable; as the is out of the track of any amorous or ambitious pursuits of her own, her vifitants entertain her with accounts of themselves very freely, whether they concern their passions or their interests. I made her a visit this afternoon, having been formerly introduced to the honour of her acquaintance, by my friend Will Honeycomb, who has prevail'd upon her to admit me sometimes into her afsembly, as a civil inoffenfive man. I found her ac companied with one person only, a common-place talker, who, upon my entrance, arose, and after a very flight civility fat down again; then turning to Arietta, pursued his discourse, which I found was upon the old topick of constancy in love. He went on with great facility in repeating what he talks every day of his life; and with the ornaments of infignificant laughs and gestures, enforced his arguments by quotations out of plays and fongs, which allude to the perjuries of the fair, and the general levity of women. Methought he ftrove to shine more than ordinary in his talkative way, that he might insult my filence, and diftinguish himself before a woman of Arietta's taste and understanding. She had often an inclination to interrupt him, but could find no opportunity, till the larum ceased of itself; which it did not till he had repeated and murdered the celebrated story of the Ephesian matron.

Arietta seemed to regard this piece of raillery as an outrage done to her sex; as indeed I have always observed that women, whether out of a nicer regard to their honour, or what other reason I cannot tell, are more sensibly touched with those general afperfions which are cast upon their sex, than men are by what is faid of theirs.

When the had a little recovered herself from the serious anger she was in, she replied in the follow

manner.

Sir, when I confider how perfectly new all you have faid on this subject is, and that the story you have given us is not quite two thousand years old, I cannot but think it a piece of presumption to difpute with you; but your quotations put me in mind of the fable of the Lion and the Man. The man walking with that noble animal, shewed him, in the oftentation of human fuperiority, a sign of a man killing a lion. Upon which the lion said very justly, "We lions are none of us painters, else we " could shew a hundred men killed by lions, for "one lion killed by a man." You men are writers, and can represent us women as unbecoming as you please in your works, while we are unable to return the injury. You have twice or thrice observed in your discourse, that hypocrify is the very foundation of our education; and that an ability to dissemble our affections is a professed part of our breeding. These, and such other reflections, are sprinkled up and down the writings of all ages, by authors, who leave behind them memorials of their resentment against the scorn of particular women, in invectives against the whole sex. Such a writer, I doubt not, was the celebrated Petronius, who invented the pleasant aggravations of the frailty of the Ephesian Lady; but when we confider this question between the sexes, which hath been either a point of difpute or raillery ever fince there were men and women, let us take facts from plain people, and from such as have not either ambition or capacity to embellish their narrations with any beauties of imagination. I was the other day amuang myselt with Ligon's account of Darhadees; and in answer

to

to your well-wrought tale, I will give you (as it dwells upon my memory) out of that honest traveller, in his fifty-fifth page, the history of Inkle and Yarico.

Mr. Thomas Inkle, of London, aged twenty years, ambarked in the Downs on the good ship called the Achilles, bound for the West-Indies, on the 16th of June, 1647, in order to improve his fortune by trade and merchandise. Our adventurer was the third son of an eminent citizen, who had taken particular care to instil into his mind an early love of gain, by making him a perfect master of numbers, and confequently giving him a quick view of lofs and advantage, and preventing the natural impulses of his passions, by prepossession towards his interests. With a mind thus turned, young Inkle had a person every way agreeable, a ruddy vigour in his countenance, strength in his limbs, with ringlets of fair hair loosely flowing on his shouiders. It happened, in the course of the voyage, that the Achilles, in fome distress, put into a creek on the main of America, in search of provifions. The youth, who is the hero of my story, among others went afhore on this occafion. From their first landing they were observed by a party of Indians, who hid themscives in the woods for that purpose, The Ergish unadvisedly marched a great distance from the she into the country, and were intercepted by the natives, who flew the greatest number of them. Our adventurer escaped among others, by flying into a forest. Upon his coming into a remote and pathless part of the wood, he threw himfelf, tired, and breathless, on a little hillock, when an Indian maid rushed from a thicket behind him. After the first furprize, they appeared mutually agreeable to each other. If the European was highly charmed with the limbs, features, and wild graces of the naked American: the American was -no less taken with the dress, complexion, and shape of an European, covered from head to foot. The Indian grew immediately enamoured of him, and consequently folicitous for his preservation. She therefore conveyed him to a cave, where she gave him a delicious repast of fruits, and led him to a ftream to flake his thirst. In the midst of thefe good offices, she would fometimes play with his hair, and delight in the opposition of its colour to that of her fingers; then open his bofom, then laugh at him for covering it. She was, it seems, a person of diftinction, for she every day came to him in a different dress, of the most beautiful shells, bugles, and bredes. She likewife brought him a great many fpoils, which her other lovers had prefented to her, so that his cave was richly adorned with all the spotted ikins of beasts, and most partycoloured feathers of fowls, which that world afforded. To make his confinement more tolerable, ine would carry him in the dusk of the evening, or by the favour of moon-light, to unfrequented groves and folitudes, and shew him where to lie down in fafety, and fleep amidst the falls of waters, and melody of nightingales. Her part was to watch and hold him awake in her arms, for fear of her countrymen, and awake him on occafions to confult his fafety. In this manner did the lovers pass away their time, till they had learned a language of theirwn, in which the voyager communicated to his mistress, how happy he should be to have her in his country, where she should be clothed in fuch filks as his waistcoat was made of, and be carried in koufes drawn by horfes, without being exposed to wind or weather. All this he promised fe. he enjoyment of, without such fears and alarms

as they were there tormented with. In this tender correspondence these lovers lived for several months, when Yarico, instructed by her lover, discovered a veffel on the coast, to which she made signals; and in the night, with the utmost joy and satisfaction, accompanied him to a ship's crew of his countrymen, bound for Barbadoes. When a vesiel from the main arrives in that island, it seems the planters come down to the shore, where there is an immediate market of the Indians and other flaves, as with us of horses and oxen.

To be short, Mr. Thomas Inkle, now coming into English territories, began ferioufly to reflect upon his loss of time, and to weigh with himself how many days interest of his money he had loft during his stay with Yarico. This thought made the young man very penfive, and careful what account he should be able to give his friends of his voyage. Upon which confideration, the prudent and frugal young man fold Yarico to a Barbadian merchant; notwithstanding that the poor girl, to incline him to commiferate her condition, told him that she was with child by him; but he only made use of that information, to rife in his demands upon the purchaser.

I was so touch'd with this story (which I think should be always a counterpart to the Ephefian matron) that I left the room with tears in my eyes; which a woman of Arietta's good sense did, I am sure, take for greater applause, than any compliments I could make her.

R

No°. 12. WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14. -----Veteres avias tibi de pulmone revello.

A

I root th' old woman from thy trembling heart. T my coming to London, it was fome time before I could fettle myself in a house to my liking. I was forced to quit my first lodgings, by reason of an officious landlady, that would be asking me every morning how I had flept. I then fell into an ho nest family, and lived very happily for above a week; when my landlord, who was a jelly goodnatured man, took it into his head that I wanted company, and therefore would frequently come into my chamber to keep me from being alone. This I bore for two or three days; but telling me one day that he was afraid I was melancholy, I thought it was high time for me to be gone, and accordingly took new lodgings that very night. About a week after, I found my jolly landlord, who, as I faid before, was an honest hearty man, had put me into an advertisement of the Daily Courant, in the following words: "Whereas a melancholy man left "his lodgings on Thursday last in the afternoon, " and was afterwards seen going towards Islington, " if any one can give notice of him to R. B. Fish.

monger in the Strand, he shall be very well re "warded for his paint." As I am the best man in the world to keep my counsel, and my landlord the hihmonger not knowing my name, this accident of my life was never difcovered to this very day.

I am now fettled with a widow woman, who has a great many children, and complies with my humour in every thing. I do not remember that we have exchanged a word together these five years; my coffee comes into my chamber every morning without afking for it; iff want fire, I point to my chimney, if water to my bafon; upon which my landlady nods, as much as to lay the takes my meaning,