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traordinary talents, which have given you fo great a figure in the British Senate, as well as in that elegance and politeness which appear in your more retired converfation. I fhould be unpardonable, if, after what I have faid, I fhould longer detain you with an addrefs of this nature: I cannot, however, conclude it without owning those greater obligations which you have laid upon,
Your moft obedient,
SPECTAT O R.
and the fatisfaction mutual. For the jealous man wishes himself a kind of deity to the perfon he loves: He would be the only pleafure of her fenfes, the employment of her thoughts; and is angry at every thing the admires, or takes delight in, befides himself.
ing her for three days, is inimitably beautiful and Phaedria's request to his mistress upon his leav
N° 170. FRIDAY, SEPT. 14, 1711.
In amore bæc omnia infuns vitia : injuriæ,
[PON looking over the letters of my female correfpondents, I find several from women complaining of jealous hufbands, and at the fame time protesting their own innocence; and defiring my advice on this occafion. I fhall therefore take this subject into my confideration; and the more willingly, becaufe I find that the Marquis of Halifax, who, in his Advice to a Daughter, has inftructed a wife how to behave herfelf towards a falfe, an intemperate, a choleric, a fullen, a covetous, or a filly husband, has not spoken one word of a jealous husband,
Jealousy is that pain which a man feels from the apprehenfion that he is not equally beloved by the perJon whom he intirely loves. Now because our inward paffions and inclinations can never make themselves vifible, it is impoffible for a jealous man to be thoroughly cured of his fufpicions, His thoughts hang at best in a state of doubtfulnefs and uncertainty; and are never capable of receiving any fatisfaction on the advantageous fide; fo that his inquiries are moft fuccessful when they discover nothing. His pleasure arifes from his difappointments, and his life is fpent in purfuit of a fecret that deftroys his happiness if
he chance to find it.
An ardent love is always a ftrong ingredient in this paffion; for the fame affection which ftirs up the jealous man's defires, and gives the party beloved fo beautiful a figure in his imagination, makes him believe the kindles the fame paffion in others, and appears as amiable to all beholders. And as jealoufy thus arifes from an extraordinary love, it is of fo delicate a nature, that it scorns to take up with any thing less than an equal return of love. Not the warmest expreffions of affection, the fofteft and most tender hypocrify, are able to give any fatisfaction, where we are not perfuaded that the affection is real,
Cum milite ifto præfens, abfens ut fies:
to love me by day and by night: Want me: "dream of me; expect me; think of me; with "for me; delight in me: Be wholly with me: "In short, be my very foul, as I am your's."
The jealous man's disease is of fò malignant a nature, that it converts all he takes into its own nourishment. A cool behaviour fets him on the rack, and is interpreted as an inftance of averfion or indifference; a fond one raifes his fufpicions, and looks too much like diffimulation and artifice, If the perfon he loves be chearful, her thoughts must be employed on another; and if fad, the is certainly thinking on himfelf. fhort, there is no word or gefture fo infignificant, but it gives him new hints, feeds his fufpicions, and furnishes him with fresh matters of difcovery: So that if we confider the effects of this paffion, one would rather think it proceeded from an inveterate hatred, than an exceffive love; for certainly none can meet with more difquietude and uneafinefs than a fufpected wife, if we ex. cept the jealous husband.
But the great unhappiness of this paffion is, that it naturally tends to alienate the affection which it is fo folicitous to ingrofs; and that for thefe two reafons, because it lays too great a constraint on the words and actions of the fufpected perfon, and at the fame time thews you have no honourable opinion of her; both of which are strong motives to averfion,
Nor is this the worst effect of jealoufy; for it often draws after it a more fatal train of confequences, and makes the person you fufpect guilty of the very crimes you are fo much afraid of. It is very natural for fuch who are treated ill and upbraided falfely, to find out an intimate friend that will hear their complaints, condole their fufferings, and endeavour to footh, and affuage their fecret refentments. Befides, jealoufy puts a woman often in mind of an ill thing that he would not otherwife perhaps have thought of, and fills her imagination with fuch an unlucky idea, as in time grows familiar, excites defire, and lofes all the fhame and horror which might at first attend it. Nor is it a wonder if the who fuffers wrongfully in a man's opinion of her, and has therefore nothing to forfeit in his efteem, refolves to give him reafon for his fufpicions, and to enjoy the pleasure of the crime, fince the muft undergo the ignominy. Such probably were the confiderations that directed the wife man in his advice to husbands; Be not jealous over the wife of thy bofom, and teach her not an evil leffon against thyfelf. Ecclus..
And here, among the other torments which this paffion produces, we may ufually obferve that none are greater mourners than jealous men, when the perfon who provoked their jealoufy is taken from them. Then it is that their love breaks out furiously, and throws off all the mixtures of fufpicion which choaked and smothered it before. The beautiful parts of the character rife uppermoft in the jealous husband's memory, and upbraid him with the ill usage of fo divine a crcature as was once in his poffeffion; whilft all the little imperfections, that were before fo uneafy to him, wear off from his remembrance, and Thew themselves no more.
We may fee by what has been faid, that jealoufy takes the deepeft root in men of amorous difpofitions; and of these we may find three kinds who are moft over-run with it.
felves, and therefore mistake all outward shows and appearances for hypocrify in others; fo that I believe no men fee lefs of the truth and reality of things, than thefe great refiners upon incidents, who are fo wonderfully fubtle and overwife in their conceptions.
Now what thefe men fancy they know of women by reflection, your lewd and vicious men believe they have learned by experience. They have feen the poor husband fo misled by tricks and artifices, and in the midft of his inquiries fo loft and bewildered in a crooked intrigue, that they ftill fufpect an under-plot in every female action; and efpecially when they fee any refemblance in the behaviour of two perfons, are apt to fancy it proceeds from the fame defign in both. Thefe men therefore bear hard upon the fufpected party, purfue her clofe through all her turnings and windings, and are too well acquainted with the chace, to be flung off by arly falle steps or doubles: Befides, their acquaintance and converfation has lain wholly among the vicious part of women-kind, and therefore it is no wonder they cenfure all alike, and look upon the whole fex as a fpecies of impoftors. But if, notwithstanding their private experience, they can get over these prejudices, and entertain a favourable opinion of some women; yet their own loose defires will stir up new fufpicions from another fide, and make them believe all men fubject to the fame inclinations with themselves.
Whether thefe or other motives are most predominant, we learn from the modern hiftories of America, as well as from our own experience in this part of the world, that jealoufy is no northern paffion, but rages most in those nati- · ons that lie nearest the influence of the fun. It is a misfortune for a woman to be born between the tropicks; for there lie the hottest regions of jealoufy, which as you come northward coels all along with the climate, until you scarce meet with any thing like it in the polar circle. Our own nation is very temperately fituated in this refpect; and if we meet with some few difordered with the violence of this paffion, they are not the proper growth of our country, but are many degrees nearer the fun in their conftitutions than in their climate.
The firft are thofe who are confcicus to themfelves of any infirmity, whether it be weakness, old age, deformity, ignorance, or the like. Thefe men are fo well acquainted with the unamiable part of themfelves, that they have not the confidence to think they are really beloved; and are fo distrustful of their own merits, that all fondnefs towards them puts them out of countenance, and looks like a jeft upon their perfons. They grow fufpicious on their firft looking in a glass, and are ftung with jealoufy at the fight of a wrinkle. A handfome fellow immediately alarms them, and every thing that looks young or gay turns their thoughts upon their wives.
A fecond fort of men, who are moft liable to this paffion, are thofe of cunning, wary, and diftrustful tempers. It is a fault very juftly found in hiftories composed by politicians, that they leave nothing to chance or humour, but are fill for deriving every action from fome plot or contrivance, for drawing up a perpetual fcheme of caufes and events, and preferving a conftant correfpondence between the camp and the council table. And thus it happens in the affairs of love with men of too refined a.thought. They put a conftruction on a look, and find out a defign in a fmile; they give.new fenfes and fignifications to words and actions; and are ever tormenting themfelves with fancies of their own raifing. They generally act in a difguife them
After this frightful account of jealoufy, and the perfons who are most subject to it, it will be but fair to fhew by what means the paffion may be beft allayed, and thofe who are poffeffed withrit fet at eafe. Other faults indeed are not under the wife's jurifdiction, and should, if poffible, efcape her obfervation; but jealoufy calls upon her particularly for its cure, and deferves all her art and application in the attempt: Befides, fhe has this for her encouragement, that her endeavours will be always pleating, and that she will still find the affection of her husband rifing towards her in proportion as his doubts and fufpicions vanifh; for, as we have seen all along, there is fo great a mixture of love in jealoufy, as is well worth the feparating. But this fhall be the fubject of another paper. L
N° 171. SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER I. Credula res amor eft OVID. Met. 7. v. 826. The man, who loves, is easy of belief.
AVING in my yesterday's paper discovered the nature of jealoufy, and pointed out the perfons who are most fubject to it, I must here apply myself to my fair correfpondents, who defire to live well with a jealous husband, and to ease his mind of its unjust suspicions.
The first rule I shall propofe to be obferved is, that you never feem to diflike in another what the jealous man is himself guilty of, or to admire any thing in which he himfelf does not exA jealous man is very quick in his applications, he knows how to find a double edge in an invective, and to draw a satire on himself out of a panegyrick on another. He does not trouble himfelf to confider the perfon, but to direct the character; and is fecretly pleafed or confounded as he finds more or lefs of himself in it. The commendation of any thing in another ftirs up his jealoufy, as it fhews you have a value for others befides himself; but the commendation of that, which he himself wants, inflames him more, as it fhews that in fome refpects you prefer others before him. Jealousy is admirably defcribed in this view by Horace in his ode to Lydia.
The jealous man is not indeed angry if you dislike another: but if you find thofe faults which are to be found in his own character, you discover not only your diflike of another, but of himself. In fhort, he is fo defirous of ingroffing all your love, that he is grieved at the want of any charm, which he believes has power to raise it; and if he finds by your cenfures on others, that he is not fo agreeable in your opinion as he might be, he naturally concludes you could love him better if he had other qualifications, and that by confequence your affection does not rife fo high as he thinks it ought. If therefore his temper be grave or fullen, you must not be too much pleafed with a jeft, or transported with any thing that is gay or diverting. If his beauty be none of the best, you must be a profeffed admirer of
prudence, or any other quality he is master of, or at least vain enough to think he is.
In the next place, you must be sure to be free and open in your conversation with him, and to let in light upon your actions, to unravel all your defigns, and difcover every fecret however trifling or indifferent. A jealous husband has a particular averfion to winks and whispers, and if he does not fee to the bottom of every thing, will be fure to go beyond it in his fears and fufpicions. He will always expect to be your chief confident, and where he finds himself kept out of a fecret, will believe there is more in it than there fhould be. And here it is of great concern, that you preferve the character of your fincerity uniform and of a piece: For if he once finds a false glofs put upon any fingle action, he quickly fufpects all the reft; his working imagination immediately takes a falfe hint, and runs off with it into feveral remote confequences, until he has proved very ingenious in working out his own mifery.
If both thefe methods fail, the best way will be to let him fee you are much caft down and afficted for the ill opinion he entertains of you, and the difquietudes he himself suffers for your fake. There are many who take a kind of barbarous pleasure in the jealoufy of those who love them, and infult over an aking heart, and triumph in their charms which are able to excite fo much uneafinefs,
Ardeat ipfa licet, tormentis gaudet amantis.
But thefe often carry the humour fo far, until their affected coldness and indifference quite kills all the fondaefs of a lover, and are then fure to meet in their turn with all the contempt and fcorn that is due to fo infolent a behaviour. On the contrary, it is very probable a melancholy, dejected carriage, the ufual effects of injured innocence, may foften the jealous husband into pity, make him fenfible of the wrong he does you, and work out of his mind all thofe fears and fuf picions that make you both unhappy. At least it will have this good effect, that he will keep his jealousy to himself, and repine in private, either becaufe he is fenfible it is a weakness, and will therefore hide it from your knowledge, or because he will be apt to fear fome ill effect it may produce, in cooling your love towards him, or diverting it to another.
There is ftill another fecret that can never fail, if you can once get it believed, and which is often practised by women of greater cunning than virtue. This is to change fides for a while with the jealous man, and to turn his own paffion upon himself; to take fome occafion of growing jealous of him, and to follow the example he himself hath fent you. This counterfeited jealoufy will bring him a great deal of pleasure, if he thinks it real; for he knows experimentally how much love goes along with this paffion, and will befides feel fomething like the fatisfaction of revenge, in feeing you undergo all his own tortures. But this, indeed, is an artifice fo difficult, and at the fame time fo difingenuous, that it ought never to be put in practice but by such as have skill enough to cover the deceit, and innocence to render it excufable, F f I fhall
I fhall conclude this effay with the ftory of Herod and Mariamne, as I have collected it out of Jofephus; which may ferve almoft as an example to whatever can be faid on this fubject.
Mariamne had all the charms that beauty, birth, wit, and youth could give a woman, and Herod all the love that fuch charms are able to raife in a warm and amorous difpofition. In the midft of this his fondness for Mariamne, he put her brother to death, as he did her father not many years after. The barbarity of the action was reprefented to Mark Antony, who immediately fummoned Herod into Egypt, to answer for the crime that was there laid to his charge. Herod attributed the fummons to Antony's defire of Mariamne, whom therefore, before his departure, he gave into the cuftody of his uncle Jofeph, with private orders to put her to death, if any fuch violence was offered to himfelf. This Jofeph was much delighted with Mariamne's converfation, and endeavoured with all his art and rhetorick, to fet out the excefs of Herod's paffion for her; but when he still found her cold and incredulous, he inconfiderately told her, as a certain inftance of her Lord's affection, the private orders he had Jeft behind him, which plainly fhewed, according to Jofeph's interpretation, that he could neither live nor die without her. This barbarous inftance of a wild unreafonable paffion quite put out, for a time, thofe little remains of affection the still had for her Lord: Her thoughts were fo wholly taken up with the cruelty of his orders, that he could not confider the kindness that produced them, and therefore reprefented him in her imagination, rather under the frightful idea of a murderer than a lover. Herod was at length acquitted and difmiffed by Mark Antony, when his foul was all in flames for his Mariamne; but before their meeting, he was not a little alarmed at the report he had heard of his uncle's converfation and familiarity with her in his abfence. This therefore was the firft difcourfe he enter tained her with, in which fhe found it no eafy matter to quiet his fufpicions. But at last he appeared fo well fatisfied of her innocence, that from reproaches and wranglings he fell to tears and embraces. Both of them wept very tenderly at their reconciliation, and Hered poured out his whole foul to her in the warmeft proteftations of Jove and conftancy; when amidst all his fighs and languifhings the afked him, whether the private orders he left with his uncle Jofeph were an inftance of fuch an inflamed affection. The jealous King was immediately roufed at fo unexpected a question, and concluded his uncle must have been too familiar with her, before he would have difcovered fuch a fecret. In short, he put
his uncle to death, and very difficultly prevailed
upon himfelf to fpare Mariamne.
felf fhould have become the greater fufferer by it. It was not long after this, when he had another violent return of love upon him; Marianne was therefore fent for to him, whom he endeavoured to foften and reconcile with all poffible conjugal careffes and endearments; but the declined his embraces, and answered all his fendness with bitter invectives for the death of her father and her brother. This behaviour fo incenfed Herod, that he very hardly refrained from ftriking her; when in the heat of their quarrel there came in a witnefs, fuborned by fome of Mariamne's ene、 mies, who accufed her to the King of a design to poifon him. Herod was now prepared to hear any thing in her prejudice, and immediately ordered her fervant to be stretched upon the rack; who in the extremity of his tortures confeft, that his miftrefs's averfion to the King arofe from fomething Sobemus had told her; but as for any defign of poifoning, he utterly difowned the leaft knowledge of it. This confeffion quickly proved fatal to Sobemus, who now lay under the fame fufpicions and fentence that Jofeph had before him on the like occafion, Nor would Herod reft here; but accused her with great vehemence of a defign upon his life, and by his authority with the judges had her publickly condemned and executed. Herod foon after her death grew melancholy and dejected, retiring from the publick administration of affairs into a folitary forest, and there abandoning himself to all the black confiderations, which naturally arife from a paffion made up of love, remorse, pity, and despair. He used to rave for his Mariamne, and to call upon her in his diftracted fits; and in all probability would foon have followed her, had not his thoughts been seasonably called off from fo fad an object by publick forms, which at that time very nearly threatened him..
After this he was forced on a fecord journey into Egypt, when he committed his Lady to the care of Sobemus, with the fame private orders he had before given his uncle, if any mifchief befel him. In the mean while Mariamne so won upon Somus by her prefents and obliging converfation, that the drew all the fecret from him, with which Herod had intrufted him; fo that after his return, when he flew to her with all the tranfports of joy and love, the received him coldly with fighs and tears, and all the marks of indifference and averfion. This reception fo ftirred up his indignation, that he had certainly flain her with his own hands, had not he feared he him
N° 172 MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 17. Non folùm fcientia, quæ eft remota à juftitia, calliditas potiùs quam fapientia eft appellanda; verùm etiam animus paratus ad periculum, fi fuâ cupiditate, non utilitate communi, impellitur, audacia potiùs nomen babcat, quàm fortitudinisPlato apud Tull.
As knowledge, without juftice, ought to be called cunning, rather than wifdom; fo a mind prepared to meet danger, if excited by its own eagerness, and not the public good, deferves the name of audacity,rather than of courage.
HERE can be no injury to human
Ticciety than that good talents among men
fhould be held honourable to those who are endowed with them without any regard how they are applied. The gifts of nature and accomplishments of art are valuable but as they are exerted in the interefts of virtue, or governed by the rules of honour. We ought to abftract our minds from the obfervation of any excellence in those we converfe with, until we have taken fome notice, or received fome good information of the difpofition of their minds; otherwife the beauty of their perfons, or the charms of their wit, may make us fond of those whom our reason and judgment will tell us we ought to abhor.