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AVING in my yesterday's paper difcovered the nature of jealoufy, and pointed out the perfons who are most fubject to it, I muft here apply myself to my fair correfpondents, who defire to live well with a jealous husband, and to eafe his mind of its unjust suspicions.
The first rule I shall propofe to be obferved is, that you never feem to dislike in another what the jealous man is himself guilty of, or to admire any thing in which he himself does not excel. A jealous man is very quick in his applications, he knows how to find a double edge in an invective, and to draw a fatire on himself out of a panegyrick on another. He does not trouble himfelf to confider the perfon, but to direct the character; and is fecretly pleafed or confounded as he finds more or lefs of himfelf in it. The commendation of any thing in another ftirs up his jealoufy, as it fhews you have a value for others befides himself; but the commendation of that, which he himself wants, inflames him more, as it fhews that in fome refpects you prefer others before him. Jealoufy is admirably defcribed in this view by Horace in his ode to Lydia.
When Telephus his youthful charms,
The jealous man is not indeed angry if you diflike another but if you find thofe faults which are to be found in his own character, you discover not only your diflike of another, but of himself. In short, he is fo defirous of ingroffing all your love, that he is grieved at the want of any charm, which he believes has power to raise it; and if he finds by your cenfures on others, that he is not fo agreeable in your opinion as he might be, he naturally concludes you could love him better if he had other qualifications, and that by confequence your affection does not rife fo high as he thinks it ought. If therefore his temper be grave or fullen, you must not be too much pleafed with a jeft, or transported with any thing that is gay or diverting. If his beauty be none of the best, you must be a profeffed admirer of
prudence, or any other quality he is master of, or at least vain enough to think he is.
In the next place, you must be sure to be free and open in your converfation with him, and to let in light upon your actions, to unravel all your defigns, and difcover every fecret however trif ling or indifferent. A jealous husband has a particular averfion to winks and whispers, and if he does not fee to the bottom of every thing, will be fure to go beyond it in his fears and fufpicions. He will always expect to be your chief confident, and where he finds himself kept out of a fecret, will believe there is more in it than there fhould be. And here it is of great concern, that you preferve the character of your fincerity uniform and of a piece: For if he once finds a falfe glofs put upon any fingle action, he quickly fufpects all the reft; his working imagination immediately takes a falfe hint, and runs off with it into feveral remote confequences, until he has proved very ingenious in working out his own mifery.
If both these methods fail, the best way will be to let him fee you are much caft down and afficted for the ill opinion he entertains of you, and the difquietudes he himself suffers for your fake. There are many who take a kind of bar-. barous pleasure in the jealousy of those who love them, and infult over an aking heart, and triumph in their charms which are able to excite fo much uneafinefs,
Ardeat ipfa licet, tormentis gaudet amantis.
Juv. Sat. 6, ver, 208. Though equal pains her peace of mind destroy, A lover's torments give her spiteful joy.
But thefe often carry the humour fo far, until their affected coldness and indifference quite kills all the fondaefs of a lover, and are then fure to meet in their turn with all the contempt and fcorn that is due to fo infolent a behaviour. the contrary, it is very probable a melancholy, dejected carriage, the ufual effects of injured innocence, may foften the jealous husband into pity, make him fenfible of the wrong he does you, and work out of his mind all thofe fears and fuf picions that make you both unhappy. At least it will have this good effect, that he will keep his jealousy to himself, and repine in private, either becaufe he is fenfible it is a weakness, and will therefore hide it from your knowledge, or because he will be apt to fear fome ill effect it may produce, in cooling your love towards him, or diverting it to another.
There is ftill another fecret that can never fail, if you can once get it believed, and which is often practised by women of greater cunning than virtue. This is to change fides for a while with the jealous man, and to turn his own paffion upon himself; to take fome occafion of growing jealous of him, and to follow the example he himself hath fent you. This counterfeited jealoufy will bring him a great deal of pleasure, if he thinks it real; for he knows experimentally how much love goes along with this paffion, and will befides feel fomething like the fatisfaction of revenge, in feeing you undergo all his own tortures. this, indeed, is an artifice fo difficult, and at the fame time fo difingenuous, that it ought never to be put in practice but by such as have skill enough to cover the deceit, and innocence to render it excufable. I fhall
I fhall conclude this effay with the ftory of Herod and Mariamne, as I have collected it out of Jofephus; which may ferve almost as an example to whatever can be faid on this fubject.
Mariamne had all the charms that beauty, birth, wit, and youth could give a woman, and Herod all the love that fuch charms are able to raife in a warm and amorous difpofition. In the midft of this his fondness for Mariamne, he put her brother to death, as he did her father not many years after. The barbarity of the action was reprefented to Mark Antony, who immediately fummoned Herod into Egypt, to answer for the crime that was there laid to his charge. Herod attributed the fummons to Antony's defire of Mariamne, whom therefore, before his departure, he gave into the cuftody of his uncle Jofeph, with private orders to put her to death, if any fuch violence was offered to himself. This Jofeph was much delighted with Mariamne's converfation, and endeavoured with all his art and rhetorick, to fet out the excefs of Herod's paffion for her; but when he ftill found her cold and incredulous, he inconfiderately told her, as a certain inftance of her Lord's affection, the private orders he had left behind him, which plainly fhewed, according to Jofeph's interpretation, that he could neither live nor die without her. This barbarous inftance of a wild unreafonable paffion quite put out, for a time, thofe little remains of affection the still had for her Lord Her thoughts were fo wholly taken up with the cruelty of his orders, that the could not confider the kindness that produced them, and therefore reprefented him in her imagination, rather under the frightful idea of a murderer than a lover. Herod was at length acquitted and difmiffed by Mark Antony, when his foul was all in flames for his Mariamne; but before their meeting, he was not a little alarmed at the report he had heard of his uncle's converfation and familiarity with her in his abfence. This therefore was the first difcourfe he entertained her with, in which fhe found it no eafy matter to quiet his fufpicions. But at laft he appeared fo well fatisfied of her innocence, that from reproaches and wranglings he fell to tears and embraces. Both of them wept very tenderly at their reconciliation, and Herod poured out his whole foul to her in the warmest proteftations of love and conftancy; when amidst all his fighs and languifhings fhe afked him, whether the private orders he left with his uncle Jofeph were an inftance of fuch an inflamed affection. The jealous King was immediately roufed at fo unexpected a question, and concluded his uncle must have been too familiar with her, before he would have difcovered fuch a fecret. In fhort, he put
his uncle to death, and very difficultly prevailed upon himself to fpare Mariamne.
After this he was forced on a fecond journey into Egypt, when he committed his Lady to the care of Sobemus, with the fame private orders he had before given his uncle, if any mifchief befel him. In the nean while Mariamne fo won upon Soncmus by her prefents and obliging converfation, that the drew all the fecret from him, with which Herod had intrufcd him; fo that after his return, when he flew to her with all the tranfports of joy and love, the received him coldly with fighs and tears, and all the marks of indifference and averfion. This reception fo ftirred up his indignation, that he had certainly flain her with his own hands, had not he feared he him
felf fhould have become the greater fufferer by it. It was not long after this, when he had another violent return of love upon him; Marianne was therefore fent for to him, whom he endeavoured to foften and reconcile with all poffible conjugal careffes and endearments; but the declined his embraces, and anfwered all his fondness with bitter invectives for the death of her father and her brother. This behaviour fo incenfed Herod that he very hardly refrained from striking her; when in the heat of their quarrel there came in a witnefs, fuborned by fome of Mariamne's ene、 mies, who accufed her to the King of a design to poifon him. Herod was now prepared to hear any thing in her prejudice, and immediately ordered her fervant to be ftretched upon the rack; who in the extremity of his tortures confeft, that his miftrefs's averfion to the King arofe from fomething Sobemus had told her; but as for any defign of poisoning, he utterly difowned the leaft knowledge of it. This confeffion quickly proved fatal to Sobemus, who now lay under the fame fufpicions and fentence that Jofeph had before him on the like occafion, Nor would Herod reft here; but accufed her with great vehemence of a defign upon his life, and by his authority with the judges had her publickly condemned and executed. Herod foon after her death grew melancholy and dejected, retiring from the publick adminiftration of affairs into a folitary foreft, and there abandoning himself to all the black confiderations, which naturally arise from a paffion made up of love, remorfe, pity, and defpair. He ufed to rave for his Mariamne, and to call upon her in his diftracted fits; and in all probability would foon have followed her, had not his thoughts been feasonably called off from fo fad an object by publick ftorms, which at that time very nearly threatened him.
fociety than that good talents among men fhould be held honourable to those who are endowed with them without any regard how they are applied. The gifts of nature and accomplishments of art are valuable but as they are exerted in the interefts of virtue, or governed by the rules of honour. We ought to abstract our minds from the obfervation of any excellence in those we converfe with, until we have taken fome notice, or received fome good information of the difpofition of their minds; otherwife the beauty of their perfons, or the charms of their wit, may make us fond of thofe whom our reafon and judgment will tell us we ought to abhor.
HERE can be no greater injury to human
When we fuffer ourselves to be thus carried away by mere beauty, or mere wit, Omniamante, with all her vice, will bear away as much of our good-will as the most innocent virgin or difcreetest matron; and there cannot be a more abject flavery in this world than to dote upon what we think we ought to condemn: Yet this must be our condition in all the parts of life, if we fuffer ourfelves to approve any thing but what tends to the promotion of what is good and honourable. If we would take true pains with ourselves to confider all things by the light of reafon and juftice, though a man were in the height of youth and amorous inclinations, he would look upon a coquette with the fame contempt or indifference as he would upon a coxcomb: The wanton carriage in a woman would disappoint her of the admiration which the aims at; and the vain dress or difcourfe of a man would destroy the comelinefs of his shape, or goodness of his understanding. I fay the goodness of his understanding, for it is no lefs common to fee men of fenfe commence coxcombs, than beautiful women become immodeft. When this happens in either, the favour we are naturally inclined to give to the good qualities they have from nature fhould abate in proportion. But however juft it is to measure the value of men by the application of their talents, and not by the eminence of those qualities abstracted from their ufe; I fay, however juft fuch a way of judging is, in all ages as well as this, the contrary has prevailed upon the generality of mankind. How many lewd devices have been preferved from one age to another, which had perished as foon as they were made, if painters and fculptors had been esteemed as much for the purpofe as the execution of their defigns? Modeft and well-governed imaginations have by this means loft the representations of ten thousand charming portraitures, filled with images of innate truth, generous zeal, courageous faith, and tender humanity; instead of which, fatyrs, furies, and monsters are recommended by thofe arts to a fhameful eternity.
The unjuft application of laudable talents, is tolerated in the general opinion of men, not only in such cases as are here mentioned, but alfo in matters which concern ordinary life. If a lawyer were to be esteemed only as he ufes his parts in contending for juftice, and were immediately defpicable when he appeared in a caufe which he could not but know was an unjust one, how honourable would his character be? And how honourable is it in fuch among us, who follow the profeffion no otherwife, than as labouring to protect the injured, to fubdue the oppreffor, to imprifon the careless debtor, and do right to the painful artificer; but many of this excellent character are overlooked by the greater number; who affect covering a weak place in a client's title, diverting the course of an inquiry, or finding a skilful refuge to palliate a falfhood; yet it is ftili called eloquence in the latter, though thus unjustly employed: But refolution in an affaflin is according to reafon quite as laudable, as know. ledge and wisdom exercised in the defence of an ill caufe.
the fame figure after breach of promife, as two knights of the poft convicted of perjury. But converfation is fallen fo low in point of morality, that as they fay in a bargain, Let the Buyer look to it; fo in friendship, he is the man in danger who is moft apt to believe. He is the more likely to fuffer in the commerce, who begins with the obligation of being the more ready to enter into it.
But thofe men only are truly great, who place their ambition rather in acquiring to themselves the confcience of worthy enterprizes, than in the profpect of glory which attends them. These exalted fpirits would rather be fecretly the authors of events which are ferviceable to mankind, than, without being fuch, to have the publick fame of it. Where therefore an eminent merit is robbed by artifice or détraction, it does but increafe by fuch endeavours of its enemies: The impotent pains which are taken to fully it, or diffufe it among a crowd to the injury of a single perfon, will naturally produce the contrary effect; the fire will blaze out, and burn up all that attempt to fmother what they cannot extinguish.
There is but one thing neceffary to keep the poffeffion of true glory, which is, to hear the oppofers of it with patience, and preferve the virtue by which it was acquired. When a man is thoroughly perfuaded that he ought neither to admire, with for, or purfue any thing but what is exactly his duty, it is not in the power of fea fons, perfons, or accidents, to diminish his value. He only is a great man who can neglect the applaufe of the multitude, and enjoy himself independent of its favour. This is indeed an arduous task; but it fhould comfort a glorious fpirit that it is the highest step to which human nature can arrive. Triumph, applaufe, acclamation, are dear to the mind of man; but it is ftill a more exquifite delight to say to yourself, you have done well, than to hear the whole human race pronounce you glorious, except you yourself can join with them in your own reflections. mind thus equal and uniform may be deferted by little fashionable admirers and followers, but will ever be had in reverence by fouls like itself. The branches of the oak endure all the feasons of the year, though its leaves fall off in autumn; and thefe too will be restored with the returning spring.
TUESDAY, SEPT. 18. -Remove fera monftra, tuæque Saxificos vultus, quæcunque ea, tolle Medufoe. Ovid. Met. lib. 5. ver. 216. Remove that horrid monster, and take hence Medufa's petrifying countenance.
N a late paper I mentioned the project of an
handicraft prizes to be contended for by our British artifans, and the influence they might have towards the improvement of our feveral ma nufactures. I have fince that been very much furprised with the following advertisement which I find in the Poft-Boy of the eleventh inftant, and again repeated in the Poft-Boy of the fifteenth.
Were the intention stedfastly confidered, as the measure of approbation, all falfhood would foon be out of countenance and an address in impo. N the ninth of October next will be run for fing upon mankind, would be as contemptible in one ftate of life as another. A couple of cour- upon Coleshill-Heath in Warwickshire, a plate tiers making profeffions of esteem, would make of fix guineas value, three heats, by any horfe,
mare, or gelding that hath not won above the value of five pounds, the winning horfe to be fold for ten pounds, to carry ten ftone weight, if fourteen hands high; if above or under to carry or be allowed weight for inches, and to be entered Friday the fifteenth at the Swan in Coleshill, before fix in the evening. Alfo a plate of lefs value to be run for by affes. The fame day a gold ring to be grinned for by men.
The first of thefe diverfions that is to be exhibited by the ten pounds race-horfes, may probably have its ufe; but the two laft in which the affes and men are concerned, seem to me altogether extraordinary unaccountable. Why they fhould keep running affes at Coleshill, or how making mouths turns to account in Warwickshire, more than in any other parts of England, I cannot comprehend. I have looked over all the olympic games, and do not find any thing in them like an afs-race, or a match at grinning. However it be, I am informed that feveral affes are now kept in body-clothes, and fweated every morning upon the heath, and that all the country-fellows within ten miles of the Swan, grin an hour or two in their glaffes every morning, in order to qualify themselves for the ninth of October. The prize, which is propofed to be grinned for, has raised fuch an ambition among the common-people of out-grinning one another, that many very difcerning perfons are afraid it should spoil most of the faces in the country; and that a Warwickshire man will be known by his grin, as Roman catholics imagine a Kentish man is by his tail. The gold ring which is made the prize of deformity, is juft the reverfe of the golden apple that was formerly made the prize of beauty, and should carry for its pofy the old motto inverted
Or to accommodate it to the capacity of the combatants,
The frightfull'ft grinner
Be the winner.
In the mean while I would advise a Dutch painter to be prefent at this great controverfy of faces, in order to make a collection of the most remarkable grins that shall be there exhibited.
I must not here omit an account which I lately received of one of these grinning-matches from a gentleman, who, upon reading the above-mentioned advertisement, entertained the coffee-houfe with the following narrative. Upon the taking of Namur, amidst other public rejoicings made on that occafion, there was a gold ring given by a whig juftice of peace to be grinned for. The first competitor that entered the lifts, was a black fwarthy Frenchman, who accidentally paffed that way, and being a man naturally of a withered look, and hard features, promifed himfelf good fuccefs. He was placed upon a table in the great point of view, and looking upon the company like Milton's Death.
Grinn'd horribly a ghaftly fmile
His mufcles were fo drawn together on each fide of his face, that he fhewed twenty teeth at a grin, and put the country in fome pain, left a foreigner fhould carry away the honour of the day; but upon a farther trial they found he was mafter only of the merry grin.
The next that mounted a table was a malecontent in thofe days, and a great mafter in the whole art of grimming, but particularly excelled in the angry grin. He did his part fo well, that he is
faid to have made half a dozen women miscarry, but the juftice being apprifed by one who stood near him, that the fellow who grinned in his face was a Jacobite, and being unwilling that a difaffected perfon fhould win the gold ring, and be looked upon as the best grinner in the country, he ordered the oaths to be tendered unto him upon his quitting the table, which the grinner refufing, he was fet afide as an unqualified perfon. There were feveral other grotefque figures that presented themselves, which it would be too tedious to defcribe. I must not however omit a ploughman, who lived in the farther part of the country, and being very lucky in a pair of long lanthorn jaws, wrung his face into fuch an hideous grimace, that every feature of it appeared under a different diftortion. The whole company ftood aftonished at fuch a complicated grin, and were ready to affign the prize to him, had it not been proved by one of his antagonists, that he had practifed with verjuice for fome days before, and had a crab found upon him at the very time of grinning; upon which the best judges of grinning declared it as their opinion, that he was not to be looked upon as a fair grinner, and therefore ordered him to be fet afide as a cheat.
The prize it feems fell at length upon a coblet, Giles Gorgon by name, who produced several new grins of his own invention, having been used to cut faces for many years together over his last. At the very first grin he cast every human feature out of his countenance, at the fecond he became the face of a spout, at the third a baboon, at the fourth the head of a bafs viol, and at the fifth a pair of nut-crackers. The whole affembly wondered at his accomplishments, and bestowed the ring on him unanimoufl; but, what he esteemed more than all the reft, a country wench, whom he had wooed in vain for above five years before was fo charmed with his grins, and the applaufes which he received on all fides, that the married him the week following, and to this day wears the prize upon her finger, the cobler having made ufe of it as his wedding-ring.
This paper might perhaps feem very impertinent, if it grew ferious in the conclufion. would nevertheless leave it to the confideration of thofe who are the patrons of this monftrous trial of skill, whether or no they are not guilty, in fome measure, of an affront to their species, in treating after this manner the Human Face Divine, and turning that part of us, which has fo great an image impreffed upon it, into the image of a monkey; whether the raising fuch filly competitions among the ignorant, propofing prizes for fuch ufelefs accomplishments, filling the common people's heads with fuch fenfelefs ambitions, and infpiring them with such abfurd ideas of fuperiority and pre-eminence, has not in it fomething immoral as well as ridiculous.
HERE is fcarce any thing more common than animofities betweeen parties that cannot fubfift but by their agreement: This was well reprefented in the fedition of the members of
the human body in the old Roman fable. It is often the cafe of leffer confederate ftates against a fuperior power, which are hardly held together, though their unanimity is neceffary for their common fafety: and this is always the cafe of the landed and trading interest of Great-Britain: the trader is fed by the product of the land, and the landed man cannot be cloathed but by the fkill of the trader; and yet those interests are ever jarring.
We had laft winter an inftance of this at our club, in Sir Roger de Coverley and Sir Andrew Freeport, between whom there is generally a conftant, though friendly, oppofition of opinions. It happened that one of the company, in an hiftorical difcourfe, was obferving, that Carthaginian faith was a proverbial phrafe to intimate breach of leagues. Sir Roger faid it could hardly be otherwife; that the Carthaginians were the greatest traders in the world; and as gain is the chief end of fuch a people, they never purfue any other: the means to it are never regarded; they will, if it comes easily, get money honeftly; but if not, they will not fcruple to attain it by fraud or cozenage: and indeed, what is the whole buffness of the trader's account, but to over-reach him who trufts to his memory? But were that not fo, what can there great and noble be expected from him whose attention is for ever fixed upon balancing his books, and watching over his expences? And at beft, let frugality and parfimony be the virtues of the merchant, how much is his punctual dealing below a gentleman's charity to the poor, or hofpitality among his neighbours?
Captain Sentry observed Sir Andrew very diligent in hearing Sir Roger, and had a mind to turn the difcourfe, by taking notice in general, from the highest to the lowest parts of human fociety, there was a fecret, though unjuft, way among men, of indulging the feeds of ill-nature and envy, by comparing their own state of life to that of another, and grudging the approach of their neighbour to their own happiness; and on the other fide, he who is the lefs at his eafe, repines at the other, who he thinks, has unjustly the advantage over him. Thus the civil and military lifts look upon each other with much ill-nature; the foldier repines at the courtier's power, and the courtier rallies the foldier's honour; or, to come to lower instances, the private men in the horse and foot of an army, the carmen and coachmen in the city'streets, mutually look upon each other with ill-will, when they are in competition for quarters or the way in their refpective motions.
It is very well, good captain, interrupted Sir Andrew: You may attempt to turn the difcourfe if you think fit; but I must however have a word or two with Sir Roger, who, I fee, thinks he has paid me off, and been very severe upon the merchant. I fhall not, continued he, at this time remind Sir Roger of the great and noble monuments of charity and public fpirit, which have been erected by merchants fince the reformation, but at present content myself with what he allows us, parfimony and frugality. If it were confiftent with the quality of so ancient a baronet as Sir Roger, to keep an account, or measure things by the most infallible way, that of numbers, he would prefer our parfimony to his hofpitality. If to drink fo many hogtheads is to be hofpitable, we do not contend for the fame of that virtue,
but it would be worth while to confider, whe ther fo many artificers at work ten days together by my appointment, or fo many peasants madė made merry on Sir Roger's charge, are the men more obliged? I believe the families of the artificers will thank me, more than the houshold of the peasants fhall Sir Roger. Sir Roger gives to his men, but I place mine above the neceffity of obligation of my bounty. I am in very little pain for the Roman proverb upon the Carthaginian traders; the Romans were their profeffed enemies: I am only forry no Carthaginian histories have come to our hands; we might have been taught perhaps by them fome proverbs against the Roman generofity, in fighting for and be ftowing other people's goods. But finée Sir Rọ ger has taken occafion from an old proverb to be out of humour with merchants, it should be no offence to offer one not quite so old in their del fence. When a man happens to break in Holi land, they fay of him that "he has not kept true accounts." This phrafe, perhaps among us, would appear a foft or humorous way of speak ing, but with that exact nation it bears the higheft reproach; for a man to be mistaken in the calculation of his expence, in his ability to an fwer future demands, or to be impertinently fanguine in putting his credit to too great an adven ture, are all inftances of as much infamy as with gayer nations to be failing in courage or common honefty.
Numbers are fo much the meafure of every thing that is valuable, that it is not poffible to demonftrate the fuccefs of any action, or the prudence of any undertaking without them. I fay this in answer to what Sir Roger is pleased to fay, that little that is truly noble can be expected from one who is ever poring on his cafh-book, or balancing his accounts. When I have my returns from abroad, I can tell to a fhilling, by the help of numbers, the profit or lofs by my adven ture; but I ought also to be able to fhew that I had reafon for making it, either from my own experience, or that of other people, or from a reafonable prefumption that my returns will be fufficient to answer my expence and hazard ; and this is never to be done without the skill of numbers. For inftance, if I am to trade to Turkey, I ought beforehand to know the demand of our manufactures there, as well as of their filks in England, and the customary prices that are given for both in each country. I ought to have a clear knowledge of thefe matters beforehand, that I may prefume upon fufficient returns to answer the charge of the cargo I have fitted out, the freight and affurance out and home, the cuf toms to the Queen, and the intereft of my own money, and beades all these expences, a reasonable profit to myself. Now what is there of scandal in this fkill? What has the merchant done, that he should be fo little in the good graces of Sir Roger? He throws down no man's inclosures, and tramples upon no man's corn; he takes nothing from the industrious labourer; he pays the poor man for his work; he communicates his profit with mankind; by the preparation of his cargo, and the manufacture of his returns, he furnithes employment and fubfiftence to greater numbers than the richest nobleman; and even the nobleman is obliged to him for finding out foreign markets for the produce of his estate, and for making a great addition to his rents; and