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Having cleared away the pericardium, or the cafe and liquor above-mentioned, we came to the heart itself. The outward furface of it was extremely flippery, and the mucro, or point, fo very cold withal, that, upon endeavouring to take hold of it, it glided through the fingers like a fmooth piece of ice.

The fibres were turned and twifted in a more intricate and perplexed manner than they are ufually found in other hearts; infomuch that the whole heart was wound up together in a gordian knot, and must have had very irregular and unequal motions, whilft it was employed in its vital function.

One thing we thought very obfervable, namely, that upon examining all the veffels which came into it or iffued out of it, we could not difcover any communication that it had with the tongue.

We could not but take notice likewife, that feveral of thofe little nerves in the heart which are affected by the fentiments of love, hatred, and other paffions, did not defcend to this before us from the brain, but from the mufcles

which lie about the eye.

Upon weighing the heart in my hand, I found it to be extremely light, and confequently very hollow, which I did not wonder at, when, upon looking into the infide of it, I faw multitudes of cells and cavities running one within another, as our hiftorians describe the apart ments of Rofamond's bower. Several of thefe little hollows were ftuffed with innumerable forts of trifles, which I shall forbear giving any particular account of, and fhall therefore only take notice of what lay first and uppermoft, which, upon our unfolding it, and applying our microfcopes to it, appeared to be a flame-colour

ed hood.

We were informed that the lady of this heart, when living, received the addreffes of feveral who made love to her, and did not only give each of them encouragement, but made every one the converfed with believe that the regarded him with an eye of kindness; for which reafon we expected to have seen the impreffion of multitudes of faces among the several plaits and foldings of the heart; but to our great furprise not a fingle print of this nature difcovered itself until we came into the very core and center of it. We there observed a little figure, which, upon applying our glaffes to it, appeared dreffed in a very fantastic manner, The more I looked upon it, the more I thought I had seen the face before, but could not poffibly recollect either the place or time; when, at length, one of the company, who had examined this figure more nicely than the reft, fhewed us plainly by the make of its face, and the feveral turns of its features; that the little idol which was thus lodged in the very middle of the heart was the deceafed beau, whofe head I gave fome account of in my last Tuesday's paper.

As foon as we had finished our dissection, we refolved to make an experiment of the heart, not being able to determine among ourselves the nature of its fubftance, which differed in fo many particulars from that of the heart in other females. Accordingly we laid it into a pan of burning coals, when we obferved in it a certain falamandrine quality, that made it capable of living in the midst of fire and flame, without being consumed, or fo much as finged,

As we were admiring this ftrange phænomenon, and standing round the heart in a circle, it gave a moft prodigious figh or rather crack, and difperfed all at once in fimoke and vapour. This imaginary noise, which methought was louder than the burft of a cannon, produced fuch a violent shake in my brain, that it diffipated the fumes of fleep, and left me in an instant broad awake.

No 282. WEDNESDAY, JAN. 23. -Spes incerta futuri.

Virg. Æn. 8. ver. 580. Hopes and fears in equal balance laid.

IT

DRYDEN.

T is a lamentable thing that every man is full of complaints, and conftantly uttering fentences against the fickleness of fortune, when people generally bring upon themselves all the calamities they fall into, and are conftantly heaping up matter for their own forrow and difappointment. That which produces the greatest part of the delufions of mankind, is a falfe hope which people indulge with fo fanguine a flattry to themselves, that their hearts are bent upon fantastical advantages which they had no reafon to believe fhould ever have arrived to them. By this unjust measure of calculating their happinefs, they often mourn with real affiction for imaginary loffes. When I am talking of this unhappy way of accounting for ourselves, I cannot but reflect upon a particular fet of people, who, in their own favour, refolve every thing that is poffible into what is probable, and then reckon on that probability as on what muft certainly happen. Will Honeycomb, upon my obferving his looking on a lady with fome particular attention, gave me an account of the great diftreffes which had laid wafte her very fine face, and had given an air of melancholy to a very agreeable perfon. That lady and a couple of fifters of her's, were, faid Will, fourteen years ago, the greatest fortunes about town; but without having any lofs by bad tenants, by bad fecurities, or any damage by fea or land, are reduced to very narrow circumftances. They were at that time the most inacceffible, haughty beauties in town; and their pretenfions to take upon them at that unmerciful rate, were raifed upon the following fcheme, according to which all their lovers were answered.

Our father is a youngish man, but then our mother is fomewhat older, and not likely to have any children; his estate, being 8ool. per annum, at 20 years purchase, is worth 16,000l. Our uncle, who is above 50, has 400l. per annum, which at the aforefaid rate is 8cool. There's a widow aunt, who has io,cool. at her own difpofal left by her husband, and an old maiden aunt who has 6000l. Then our 'father's mother has gool. per annum, which is worth 18,000l. and rocol. each of us has of her own, which cannot be taken from us. Thefe fummed up together stand thus :

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N° 274. MONDAY, JANUARY 14.
Audire eft operæ pretium, trocedere rectè
Qui mecbis non vultis

I

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Have upon several occafions, that have occurred fince I first took into my thoughts the prefent state of fornication, weighed with myfelf in behalf of guilty females, the impulfes of flesh and blood, together with the arts and gallantries of crafty men; and reflect with fome fcorn that most part of what we in our youth think gay and polite, nothing elfe but an habit of indulging a pruriency that way. It will coft fome labour to bring people to fo lively a fenfe of this, as to recover the manly modefty in the behaviour of my men readers, and the bafhful grace in the faces of my women; but in all cafes which come into debate, there are certain things previously to be done before we can have a true light into the fubject matter; therefore it will, in the first place, be neceffary to confider the impotent wenchers and induftrious hags, who are fupplied with, and are conftantly fupplying, new facrifices to the devil of luft. You are to know then, if you are fo happy as not to know it already, that the great havock which is made in the habitations of beauty and innocence, is committed by fuch as can only lay waste and not enjoy the foil. When you obferve the prefent ftate of vice and virtue, the offenders are fuch as one would think should have no impulfe to what they are pursuing; as in business, you fee fometimes fools pretend to be knaves, fo in pleasure, you will find old men fet up for wenchers. This latter fort of men are the great bafis and fund of iniquity in the kind we are speaking of; you shall have an old rich man often receive fcrawls from the feveral quarters of the town, with defcriptions of the new wares in their hands, if he will please to fend word when he will be waited on. This interview is contrived, and the innocent is brought to fuch indecencies as from time to time banish thame and raife defire. With thefe preparatives the hags break their wards by little and little, until they are brought to lose all apprehensions of what fhall befall them in the poffeffion of younger men. It is a common poftfcript of an hag to a young fellow whom The invites to a new woman, "She has, I affure you, feen none but old Mr. Such-a-one." It pleafes the old fellow that the nymph is brought to him unadorned, and from his bounty The is accommodated with enough to drefs her for other lovers. This is the moft ordinary mɛthod of bringing beauty and poverty into the poffeffion of the town: but the particular cafes of kind keepers, fkilful pimps, and all others who drive a feparate trade, and are not in the cneral fociety or commerce of fin, will require diftin&t confideration. At the fame time that we are thus fevere on the abandoned, we are to reprefent the cafe of others with that mitigation

as the circumftances demand. Calling names does no good; to fpeak worfe of any hing than it deferves, does only take off from Me Credit of the acquters and has implicitly

the force of an apology in the behalf of the perfon accused. We fhall therefore, according as the circumftances differ, vary our appellations of thefe criminals: thofe who offend only againft themselves, and are not fcandals to fociety, but out of deference to the fober part of the world, have fo much good left in them as to be ashamed, must not be huddled in the common word due to the worst of women; but regard is to be had to their circumftances when they fell, to the uneafy perplexity under which they lived under fenfelefs and fevere pa◄ rents, to the importunity of poverty, to the violence of a paffion in its beginning well grounded, and all other alleviations which make un▲ happy women refign the characteristic of their fex, modesty.

To do otherwife than this, would be to act like a pedantic ftoic, who thinks all crimes alike, and not like an imparthe circumftances that diminish or enhance the tial Spectator, who looks upon them with all guilt. I am in hopes, if this subject be well purfued, women will hereafter from their infancy be treated with an eye to ther future made too untractable from an improper fourftate in the world; and not have their tempers nefs or pride, or too complying from familiarity or forwardness contracted at their own houses. After these hints on this fubject, I fhall end this paper with the following genuine letter; anđ defire all who think they may be concerned in future fpeculations on this fubject, to fend in what they have to fay for themselves for fome incidents in their lives, in order to have proper

allowances made for their conduct.

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Mr. Spectator,

TH

Jan. 5, 1711. HE fubject of your yesterday's paper is of fo great importance, and the tho rough handling of it may be fo very useful, to the prefervation of many an innocent young creature, that I think every one is obliged to • furnish us with what lights he can, to expofe natural women called bawds. the pernicious arts and practices of those unIn order to

this the inclofed is fent you, which is verbatim the copy of a letter written by a bawd of 'figure in this town to a noble Lord. I have concealed the names of both, my intention 'being not to expose the perfons but the thing, I am, Sir,

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'My Lord,

Your humble Servant,'

a efter for of amor, a better opinion of you than of any of the ' quality, makes me acquaint you of an affair that I hope will oblige you to know. I have a niece that came to town about a fortnight ago. Her parents being lately dead fhe came to me, expecting to have found me in fo good a condition as to fet her up in a milliner's fhop. Her father gave fourfcore pounds with her for five years: her time is out, and fhe is not fixteen: as pretty a black gentlewoman as ever you faw; a little woman, which, I know your Lordship likes: well shaped, and as fine a complexion for red and white as ever 1 law; I doubt not but your Lordship will be of the fame opinion. She designs to go down about a month hence, except I can provide for her, which I cannot at prefent: her father <was one with whom all he had, died with him,

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fo there is four children left deftitute: fo if your Lordship thinks fit to make an appointment where I fhall wait on you with my niece, by a line or two, I ftay for your an'fwer; for I have no place fitted up fince I left my houfe, fit to entertain your honour. I told her the should go with me to fee a gen'tleman, a very good friend of mine; fo I de'fire you to take no notice of my letter, by reafon fhe is ignorant of the ways of the town. My Lord, I defire if you meet us to come alone; for upon my word and honour you are the first that ever I mentioned her to. So I • remain,

• Your Lordship's

1 ⚫ most humble fervant to command. I beg of you to burn it when you have

'read it.'

T.

with invifible billet-doux, love-letters, pricked dances, and other trumpery of the fame nature. In another we found a kind of powder, which fet the whole company a sneezing, and by the fcent difcovered itself to be right Spanish. The feveral other cells were ftored with commodities of the fame kind, of which it would be tedious to give the reader an exact inventory.

There was a large cavity on each fide of the head, which I must not omit. That on the right fide was filled with fictions, flatteries, and falfhoods, vows, promifes, and proteftations; that on the lett with oaths and imprecations. There issued out a duct from each of these cells, which ran into the root of the tongue, where both joined together, and paffed forward in We difcoone common duct to the tip of it. vered feveral little roads or canals running from the ear into the brain, and took particular care to trace them out through their feveral paffages. One of them extended itself to a bundle of fonnets and little mufical inftruments. Others Hor. Ars Poet. ver. 300. ended in feveral bladders which were filled either with wind or froth. But the large canal entered into a great cavity of the skull, from whence there went another canal into the tongue. This great cavity was filled with a kind of fpungy fubftance, which the French anatomists call galimatis, and the English nonfenfe.

N° 275, TUESDAY, JANUARY -tribus Anticyris caput infanabile

I

A head, no helebore can cure.

15.

Was yesterday engaged in an affembly of virtuofos, where one of them produced many curious obfervations which he had lately made in the anatomy of a human body. Another of the company communicated to us feveral wonderful discoveries, which he had alfo made on the fame subject, by the help of very fine glaffes. This gave birth to a great variety of uncommon remarks, and furnished difcourfe for the remaining part of the day.

The different opinions which were started on this occafion, prefented to my imagination fo many new ideas, that by mixing with those which were already there, they employed my fancy all the last night, and composed a very wild extravagant dream.

I was invited, methought, to the diffection of a beau's head, and of a coquet's heart, which were both of them laid on a table before us. An Imaginary operator opened the first with a great deal of nicety, which, upon a curfory and fuperficial view, appeared like the head of another man; but upon applying our glaffes to it, we made a very odd difcovery, namely, that what we looked upon as brains, were not fuch in reality, but an heap of strange materials wound up in that shape and texture, and packed together with wonderful art in the feveral cavities of the skull. For, as Homer tells us, that the blood of the gods is not real blood, but only fomething like it: fo we found that the brain of a beau is not a real brain, but only something like it.

The pineal gland, which many of our modern philofophers fuppofe to be the feat of the foul, fmelt very strong of effence and orangeflower water, and was encompaffed with a kind of horny substance, cut into a thousand little faces or mirrors, which were imperceptible to the naked eye, infomuch that the foul, if there had been any here, must have been always taken up in contemplating her own beauties.

We obferved a large antrum or cavity in the finciput, that was filled with ribbons, lace, and embroidery, wrought together in a moft curious piece of net-work, the parts of which were likewife imperceptible to the naked eye. Ano ther of thefe antrums or cavities was ftuffed

The fkins of the forehead were extremely tough and thick, and, what very much furprifed us, had not in them any fingle bloodveffel that we were able to difcover, either with or without our glaffes; from whence we concluded, that the party when alive must have been intirely deprived of the faculty of blufhing.

The os cribriforme was exceedingly stuffed, and in fome places damaged with fnuff. We could not but take notice in particular of that fmall mufcle which is not often difcovered in diffections, and draws the nofe upwards, when it expreffes the contempt which the owner of it has, upon feeing any thing he does not like, or hearing any thing he does not under-. ftand. I need 'not tell my learned reader, this is that muscle which performs the motion fo often mentioned by the Latin poets, when they talk of a man's cocking his nofse, or playing the

rhinoceros.

We did not find any thing very remarkable in the eye, faving only, that the mufculi amatorii, mufcles, were very much worn and decayed or as we may tranflate it into English, the ogling with ufe; whereas on the contrary, the elevator, or the mufcle which turns the eye towards heaven, did not appear to have been used at all.

I have only mentioned in this diffection fuch new discoveries as we were able to make, and have not taken any notice of those parts which are to be met with in common heads. As for the fkull, the face, and indeed the whole outward hape and figure of the head, we could not difcover any difference from what we obferve in the heads of other men. that the perfon to whom this head belonged, We were informed, had paffed for a man above five and thirty years; during which time he eat and drank like other people, dreffed well, talked loud, laughed fre quently, and on particular occafions had acquit ted himself tolerably at a ball or an affembly; to which one of the company added, that a certain knot of ladies took him for a wit. He was

cut off in the flower of his age by the blow of a paring-shovel, having been furprised by an eminent citizen, as he was tendering fome civilities to his wife.

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pect others in converfation may fecond your raillery; but when you do it in a file which every body elfe forbears in respect to their quality, they have an eafy remedy in forbear

When we had thoroughly examined this heading to read you, and hearing no more of their faults. with all its apartments, and its feveral kinds of furniture, we put up the brain, fuch as it was, into its proper place, and laid it afide under a broad piece of fcarlet cloth, in order to be prepared, and kept in a great repofitory of diffections ; our operator telling us that the preparation would not be fo difficult as that of another brain, for that he had obferved feveral of the little pipes and tubes which ran through the brain were already filled with a kind of mercurial fubftance, which he looked upon to be true quick-filver.

He applied himself in the next place to the coquette's heart, which he likewife laid open with great dexterity. There occurred to us many particularities in this diffection; but being unwilling to burthen my reader's memory too much, I fhall referve this fubject for the fpeculation of another day. L.

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faults. Your papers which regard the fallen part of the fair fex, are, I think, written, ' with an indelicacy which makes them unworthy to be inferted in the writings of a moralift who knows the world. I cannot allow that you are at liberty to obferve upon the actions of mankind with the freedom which you seem to refolve upon; at least if you do fo, you should take along with you the dif tinction of manners of the world, according to the quality and way of life of the perfons

' concerned. A man of breeding fpeaks of

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A man that is now and then guilty of an intemperance is not to be called a drunkard; but the rule of polite raillery, is to fpeak of a man's faults as if you loved him. Of this nature is what was faid by Cæfar: when, one was railing with an uncourtly vehemence, and broke out, What muft we call him who was taken in an in'trigue with another man's wife? Cæfar anfwered very gravely," a careless fellow.” This was at once a reprimand for speaking of < a crime which in thofe days had not the abhorrence attending it as it ought, as well as an intimation that all intemperate beha'viour before fuperiors lofes its aim, by accufing in a method unfit for the audience. A 'word to the wife. All I mean here to say to you is, that the moft free perfon of quality can go no farther than being a kind wo· man; and you fhould never fay of a man of figure worfe, than that he knows the • world. I am, Sir,

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OU lately put out a dreadful paper, wherein you promife a full account

of the ftate of criminal love; and call all the fair who have tranfgreffed in that kind

even misfortunes among ladies, without giv-by one very rude name which I do not care

< ing it the moft terrible afpect it can bear: and this tenderness towards them, is much more

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of his, or abruptly inform a virtuous woman of the lapfe of one who until then was in the fame degree of esteem with herself, is in a kind involving each of them in fome 'participation of thofe difadvantages. It is therefore expected from every writer, to treat his argument in fuch a manner, as is moft proper to entertain the fort of readers to whom his difcourfe is directed. It is not neceffary when you write to the tea-table, that you should draw vices which carry all the horror of fhame and contempt: if you paint an impertinent felf-love, an artful glance, an affumed complexion, you fay all which you ought to fuppofe they can be poffibly guilty

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' of.

When you talk with this limitation, you behave yourfelf fo as that you may ex

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to repeat: but I defire to know of you whether I am or am not one of thofe My cafe ' is as follows. I am kept by an old bachelor, who took me fo young, that I knew not how he came by me: he is a bencher of one of the inns of court, a very gay healthy old man; which is a very lucky thing for him, who has been, he tells me, a scowerer, a scamperer, a breaker of windows, and invader of conftables, in the days of yore, when all dominion ended with the day, and males and females met helter fkelter, and the fcowerers drove before them all who pretended to keep up order or rule to 'the interruption of love and honour. This is his way of talk, for he is very gay when he vifits me; but as his former knowledge <of the town has alarmed him into an invincible jealoufy, he keeps me in a pair of flippers, neat boddice, warm petticoats, and my own hair woven in ringlets, after a manner, he fays, he remembers. I am not miftrefs of one farthing of money, but have all neceffaries provided for me, under the guard of one who procured for him while he had

any defires to gratify. I know nothing of a 'wench's life, but the reputation of it: I have a natural voice, and a pretty untaught step in dancing. His manner is to bring an old, fellow who has been his fervant from his youth, and is grey headed this man makes:

Ν No 277. THURSDAY, JAN. 17.
Lfas eft & ab hofte doceri.

Óvid. Met. lib. 4. ver. 428.
Receive inftruction from an enemy,
Prefume I need inform the polite part

ence with France was unhappily interrupted by
the war, our ladies had all their fashions from
thence; which the milliners took care to fur-
nish them with by means of a jointed baby,
that came regularly over once a month, habited.
after the manner of the most eminent toasts in
Paris.

I am credibly informed, that even in the hotteft time of the war, the fex made feveral efforts, and raifed largé contributions towards the importation of this wooden Madamoiselle.

on the violin a certain jiggish noife to which my readers, that before our correspondI dance, and when that is over I fing to him fome loofe air that has more wantonnefs than mufic in it. You must have feen 6 a ftrange windowed houfe near Hyde Park, which is fo built that no one can look out of any of the apartments; my rooms are after that manner, and I never fee man, woman or child, but in company with the two perfons above-mentioned. He fends me in all the books, pamphlets, plays, operas, and fongs that come out; and his utmost delight in me as a woman, is to talk over all his old amours in my prefence, to play with my neck, fay, "the time was," give me a kifs, and bid me be fure to follow the directions of my guardi an (the above-mentioned lady) and I shall ne ver want. The truth of my cafe is, I fup'pofe, that I was educated for a purpose he 'did not know he fhould be unfit for when I 6 came to years. Now, Sir, what I ask of you as a cafuift, is to tell me how far in thefe 'circumftances I am innocent, though fubmiffive; he guilty, though impotent ?

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* I am, Sir,

Your conftant reader,

Pucella.

To the man called the Spectator..

• Friend,

F

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Whether the veffel they fet out was loft or taken, or whether its cargo was feized on by the officers of the custom-house as a piece of contraband goods, I have not yet been able to learn; it is, however, certain, their first attempts were without fuccefs, to the no small difappointment of our whole female world; but as their conftancy and application, in a matter of fo great importarice, can never be fufficiently commended, I am glad to find, that in fpite of all oppofition, they have at length carried their point, of which I received advice by the two following letters."

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Mr. Spectator,

Am fo great a lover of whatever is French, that I lately difcarded an humble admirer, because he neither fpoke that tongue, nor drank claret. I have long bewailed, in fecret, the calamities of my fex during the war, in all which time we have laboured under the infupportable inventions of English tirewomen, who, though they fometimes copy indifferently can never compofe with that gout they do in France.

I was almoft in defpair of ever more seeing a medel from that dear country, when laft Sunday I overheard a lady in the next pew to me, whisper, another, that at the Seven Stars in King-ftreet, Covent-Garden, there come from Paris. was a Madamoifelle completely dreffed juft

Órafmuch as at the birth of thy labour, thou didst promife upon thy word, that letting alone the vanities that do abound, thou wouldst only endeavour to ftrengthenwell, the crooked morals of this our Babylon, I gave credit to thy fair fpeeches, and admitted one of thy papers, every day fave Sunday, into my houfe, for the edification of my daughter Tabitha, and to the end that Sufannah the wife of my bofom might profit thereby. But alas! my friend, I find that thou art a liar, and that the truth is not in thee; elfe why didft thou in a paper which thou didst lately put forth, make mention of thofe vain coverings for the heads of our females, which thou loveft to liken unto tulips, and which are lately fprung up among us? Nay, why didft thou make mention of them in fuch a feeming, as if thou didst approve the invention, infomuch that my daughter Tabitha beginneth to wax wanton, and to luft after thefe foolish' vanities? Surely thou doft fee with the eyes of the flesh. Verily therefore, unlefs thou doft fpeedily amend and leave off following thine own imaginations, I will leave off thee.

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I was in the utmost impatience during the remaining part of the fervice, and as foon as ever it was over, having learnt the milliner's addrefs, I went directly to her houfe in King ftreet, but was told that the French lady was at a perfon of quality's in Pall-Mall, and would not be back again until very late that night. I was therefore obliged to renew my vifit carly this morning, and had then a full view of the dear moppet from head to foot.

You cannot imagine, worthy Sir, how ridiculously I find we have all been truffed upduring the war, and how infinitely the French drefs excells ours.

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The mantua has no leads in the fleeves, and I hope we are not lighter than the French ladies, fo as to want that "kind of ballaft; the petticoat has no whalebone, but fits with an air altogether gallant and degagé: the coiffure is inexpreffibly pretty, and in fhort, the whole drefs has a thoufand beauties in it, which I would not have as yet made too 'public.

• I thought

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