tended good offices to thy friends, thy intended fervices to thy country, are already performed, as to thy concern in them, in his fight before whom the past, prefent, and future appear at one view, White others with thy talents were tormented with ambition, with vain-glory, "with envy, with emulation, how well didft thou turn thy mind to its own improvement in things out of the power of fortune; in probity, in integrity, in the practice and ftudy of juftice, how filent thy paffage, how private thy journey, how glorious thy end! many have I known more famous, fome more knowing, "not one fo innocent."

R

521,

DRYDEN. URING my abfence in the country, feveral

DURING

not forwarded to me, becaufe I was expected every day in town. The author of the following Letter, dated from "ower-hill, having fometimes been entertained with fome learned gentlemen in plufh doublets, who have vended their wares from aflage in that place, has pleafantly enough addre fed to me, as no lefs a fage in morality, than thofe are in phyfic, To comply with his kind inclination to make my cures famous, I fhall give you his teftimonial of my great abilities at large in his own words.

SIR.

YOUR faying the other day there is fomething wonderful in the narrowness of thofe mind which can be pleafed, and be barren of bounty to those who please them, makes me in pain that I am not a man of power. If I were, you fhould foon fee how much I approve your fpeculations. In the mean time I beg leave to fupply that inability with the empty tribute of an honeft mind, by telling you plainly I love and thank you for your daily refreshments. I conftantly perufe your paper as I fimcke my morning's pipe, though, I cannot forbear reading the motto before I fill and light, and really it gives a grateful relish to every whiff; each paragraph is freighted either with ufeful or delightful notions, and I never fail of being highly diverted or improved. The variety of your fubjects furprizes me as much as a box of pictures did formerly, in which there was only one face, that by pulling fome piece's of ifinglafs over it, was changed into a grave fenator or a Merry-Andrew, a patched lady or a nun, a beau or a black-a-moor, à prude or a coquette, a country 'fquire or a conjurer, with many other different reprefentationis, very entertaining, as you are, though ftill the fame at the bottom. This was a childish amusement when I was carried away with outward ap

that is not affected by you. I cannot fay indoed that you have put impertinence to filence, or vanity out of countenance; but methinks you have bid as fair for it, as any man that ever appeared upon a public ftage; and offer an in'fallible cure of vice and folly, for the price of one penny. And fince it is ufual for those who • receive benefit by fuch famous operators, to publish an advertisement, that others may reap the fame advantage, I think myfelf obliged to declare to all the world, that having for a long time been fplenetic, ill-natured, froward, fuf< picious and unfociable, by the application of < your medicines, taken only with half an ounce of right Virginia tobacco, for fix fucceffive mornings, I am become open, obliging, officious, frank, and hofpitable. I am, Tower-hill, Your humble fervant, July 5, 1711. and great admirer,

George Trufly.

The careful father and humble petitioner hereafter mentioned, who are under difficulties about the juft management of fans, will foon receive

in that behalf, with their places of abode and methods of teaching.

SIR,

July the 5th, 1711.

N your Spectator of June the 7th, you tranfcribe a letter fent to you from a new fort of mufter-mater, who teaches ladies the whole exercife of the fan; I have a daughter juft come to town, who though the has always held a fan in her hand at proper times, yet the knows no more how to use it according to true difcipline, than an aukward fchool-boy does to make ufe • of his new-fword: I have fent for her on purpofe to learn the exercife, fhe being already very well accomplished in all other arts which arc neceffary for a young lady to understand; my requeft is, that you will fpeak to your correfpondent on my behalf, and in your next paper let me know what he expects, either by the month, or the quarter, for teaching; and where he keeps his place of rendezvous. I have a fon too, whom I would fain have taught to gallant fans, and fhould be glad to know what the gen<tleman will have for teaching them both, I finding fans for practice at my ewn expence. This information will in the highest manner oblige, Sir, your most humble fervant, • William Wifeacreș

6

HAT it was your petitioner's misfortune to walk to Hackney church laft Sunday, where to his great amazement he met with a foldier of your own training: the furls a fan, recovers a fan, and goes thro' the whole excercife of it to admiration. This well-managed officer of yours has, to my knowledge, been the ruin of above five young gentlemen befides myself, and

I

Have fomewhere read of an eminent person, who used in his private offices of devotion to give thanks to Heaven that he was born a Frenchman: for my own part, I look upon it as a peculiar bleffing that I was born an Englishman. Among many other reafons, I think myfelf very happy in my country, as the language of it is wonderfully adapted to a man who is fparing of his words, and an enemy to loquacity.

As I have frequently reflected on my good fortune in this particular, I fhall communicate to the public my fpeculations upon the English tongue, not doubting but they will be acceptable to all my curious readers.

The English delight in filence more than any other European nation, if the remarks which are made on us by foreigners are true. Our difcourfe is not kept up in converfation, but falls into more paufes and intervals than in our neighbouring countries; as it is obferved, that the matter of our writings is thrown much clofer together, and lies in a narrower compafs than is ufual in the works of foreign authors: for, to favour our natural taciturnity, when we are obliged to utter our thoughts, we do it in' the shortest way we are able, and give as quick a birth to our conceptions as poffible.

This humour fhews itfelf in feveral remarks that we may make upon the English language, As first of all by its abounding in monofyllables, which gives us an opportunity of delivering our thoughts in few founds. This indeed takes off' from the elegance of our tongue, but at the same time exprefles our ideas in the readieft manner, and confequently anfwers the firft defign of fpeech better than the multitude of fyllables, which make the words of other languages more tunable and fonorous. The founds of our English words are commonly like thofe of ftring mufic, fhort and tranfient, which rife and perifh upon a single touch; thofe of other languages are like the notes of wind inftruments, fweet and fwelling, and lengthened out into variety of modulation.

In the next place we may obferve, that where the words are not monofyllables, we often make them fo, as much as lies in our power, by our rapidity of pronunciation; as it generally happens in most of our long words which are derived from the Latin, where we contract the length of the fyllables that gives them a grave and folemn air in their own language, to make them more proper for dispatch, and more kon

formable to the genius of our tongue. This we may find in a multitude of words, as liberty, conspiracy, theatre, orator, &c.

The fame natural averfion to loquacity has of late years made a very confiderable alteration in our language, by closing in one fyllable the termination of our præterperfect tenfe, as in thele words, drown'd, walk'd, arriv'd, for drowned, walked, arrived, which has very much disfigured the tongue, and turned a tenth part of our fmootheft words into fo many clusters of confonants. This is the more remarkable, becaufe the want of vowels in our language has beca the general complaint of our politeft authors, who nevertheless are the men that have made thefe retrenchments, and confequently very much increased our former fcarcity.

This reflection on the words that end in ed I have heard in converfation from one of the greatest genius's this age has produced. I think we may add to the foregoing observation, the change which has happened in our language, by the abbreviation of feveral words that are terminated in eth, by substituting an s in the room of the laft fyllable, as in drowns, walks, arrives, and innumerable other words, which in the pronunciation of our forefathers were drowneth, walketh, arriveth. This has wonderfully multiplied a letter which was before too frequent in the English tongue, and added to that hiffing in our language which is taken fo much notice of by foreigners; but at the fame time humours our taciturnity, and cafes us of many fuperAuous fyllables.

I might here obferve, that the fame fingle letter on many occafions does the office of a whole word, and represents the his or her of our forefathers. There is no doubt but the ear of a foreigner, which is the best judge in this cafe, would very much difapprove of fuch innovations, which indeed we do ourselves in fome measure by retaining the old termination in writing, and in all the folemn offices of our religion.

As in the inftances I have given we have epitomized many of our particular words to the detriment of our tongue, fo on other occafions we have drawn two words into one, which has likewife very much untuned our language, and clogged it with confonants, as mayn't, can't, fhan't, won't, and the like, for may not, can not, fhall not, will not, &c.

It is perhaps this humour of fpeaking no more than we needs muft, which has fo miserably curtailed fome of our words, that in familiar writings and converfations they often lofe all but their firft fyllables, as in mob. rep. pof, incog.. and the like; and as all ridiculous words make their first entry into a language by familiar phrafes, I dare not anfwer for thefe that they will not in time be looked upon as a part of our, tongue. We fee fome of our poets have been fo indifcreet as to imitate Hudibras's doggrel expreffions in their ferious compofitions, by throw ing out the figns of our fubftantives, which are effential to the English language. Nay, this humour of fhortening our language had once run fo far, that fome of our celebrated authors, among whom we may reckon Sir Roger L'E ftrange in particular, began to prune t'air words of all fuperfluous letters, as they ter med them, in order to adjust the fpelling to the pronuncia tion; which would have confounded all our ety mologies, and have quite destroyed our tongue.

Wa

every man I met with. You are to know one thing, which I believe you will fay is a pity, confidering the ufe I should have made of it, I never travelled in my life; but I do not know whether I could have spoken of any foreign country with more familiarity than I do at prefent, in company who are ftrangers to me. I < have curfed the inns in Germany; commended the brothels in Venice; the freedom in converfation in France; and though I never was out of this dear town, and fifty miles about it, ' have been three nights together dogged by bravoes for an intrigue with a cardinal's mistress

at Rome.

It were endless to give you particulars of this ' kind, but I can affure you, Mr. Spectator, there are about twenty or thirty of us in this town 'I mean by this town the cities of London ' and Westminster; I fay there are in town a fufficient number of us to make a fociety among ' ourselves; and fince we cannot be believed any longer, I beg of you to print this my letter, that we may meet together, and be under fuch regulation as there may be no occafion for helief or confidence among us. If you think fit; we might be called The Hiftorians, for liar is ' become a very harth word. And that a mem⚫ber of the fociety may not hereafter be ill re'ceived by the rest of the world, I defire you ❝ would explain a little this fort of men, and not let us hiftorians be ranked, as we are in the "imaginations of ordinary people, among com'mon liars, make-bates, impoftors, and incendi-. aries. For your inftruction herein, you are to ⚫ know that an hiftorian in converfation is only a 'perfon of fo pregnant a fancy, that he cannot be contented with ordinary occurrences. I know a man of quality of our order, who is of the wrong fide of forty-three, and has been of that age, according to Tully's jeft, for fome years fince, whofe vein is upon the romantic. Give him the leaft occafion, and he will tell you something fo very particular that happened in fuch a year, and in fuch company, where by the by was prefent fuch a one, who was afterwards made fuch a thing. Out of all thefe circumftances, in the beft language in the world, ⚫ he will join together with fuch probable incidents an account that fhews a perfon of the deepest penetration, the honefteft mind, and withal fomething fo humble when he speaks of himself, that you would admire. Dear Sir, why should this be lying! There is nothing fo inftructive. He has withal the graveft afpect; fomething fo very venerable and great? Ano <ther of thefe hiftorians is a young man whom we would take in, though he extremely wants parts; as people fend children, before they can learn any thing, to school to keep them out of harm's way. He tells things which have nothing at all in them, and can neither please nor difpleafe, but merely take up your time to no manner of purpofe, no manner of delight; but he is good-natured, and does it because he loves to be faying something to you, and entertain you.

I could name you a foldier that hath done very great things without flaughter; he is prodigiously dull and flow of head, but what he can fay is for ever falfe, fo that we must have him.

"Give me leave to tell you of one more who is a lover; he is the most afflicted creature in the

'world, left what happened between him and a great beauty fhould ever be known. Yet again 'he comforts himself. "Hang the jade her woman. If money can keep the flut trufty I will "do it, though I mortgage every acre: Anthony "and Cleopatra for that: all for love and the "world well loft."

Then, Sir, there is my little merchant, honeft Indigo of the 'Change, there is my man for lofs and gain; there is tare and tret, there is lying all round the globe; he has fuch a prodigious intelligence he knows all the French are doing, or what we intend or ought to intend, and has it from fuch hands. But alas, whither am I running ! while I complain, while I remonstrate to you, even all this is a lye, and there is not one fuch perfon of quality, lover, foldier, or merchant as I have now defcribed in the whole 'world, that I know of. But I will catch myfelf once in my life, and in fpite of nature fpeak one truth, to wit, that I am Your humble fervant, &c."

M

I

Tis no fmall concern to me, that I find fo

many complaints from that part of mankind whom they depend upon will not allow them to whofe portion it is to live in fervitude, that thofe be even as happy as their condition will admit of. inform me, mafters who are offended at a chearThere are, as thefe unhappy correfpondents ful countenance, and think a fervant is broke. loofe from them, if he does not preferve the ut fays, if he looks fatisfied, his master afks him most awe in their prefence. There is one, who what makes him fo pert this morning; if a little four, hark ye, firrah, are not you paid your wages? The poor creatures live in the most extreme mifery together: the mafter knows not how to preferve respect, nor the fervant how to give it. It seems this perfon is of fo fullen a nature, that he knows but little fatisfaction in the midst of a plentiful fortune, and fecretly frets to fee any aphundredth part of his income, who is unhappy pearance of content, in one that lives upon the in the poffeffion of the whole. Uneafy perfons, who cannot poffefs their own minds, vent their fpleen upon all who depend upon them; which, I think, is expreffed in a lively manner in the following letters.

I

SIR,

Auguft 2, 1711. Have read your Spectator of the third of the laft month, and with I had the happiness of being preferred to ferve fo good a mater as Sir Roger. The character of my mafter is the very reverse of that good and gentle knight's. All his directions are given, and his mind revealed by way of contraries: as when any thing is to be remembered, with a peculiar caft of face he cries," Be sure to forget now." If I am to make hafte back, "Do not come these two "hours; be sure to call by the way upon fome "of your companions." Then another excel

lent way of his is, if he fets me any thing to do, which he knows muft neceffarily take up Ꮓ • half

us,

half a day, he calls ten times in a quarter of an hour to know whether I have done yet. This is his manner: and the fame perverfenefs runs 6 through all his actions, according as the circumitances vary. Befides all this, he is fo fufpicious, that he fubmits himself to the drudgery of a fpy. He is as unhappy himself as he makes his fervants: he is conftantly watching and we differ no more in pleasure and liberty than as a gaoler and a prifoner. He lays traps for faults, and no fooner makes a difcovery, but falls into fuch language, as I am more afhamed of for coming from him, than for being directed to me. This, Sir, is a fhort sketch of a mafter I have ferved upwards of nine 6 years; and though I have never wronged him, I confefs my despair of pleasing him has very much abated my endeavour to do it. If you will give me leave to fteal a fentence out of my mafter's Clarendon, I fhall tell you my cafe in a word, "Being used worse than I deferved, I "cared lefs to deferve well than I had done." I am,

Sir, Your humble fervant,
Ralph Valet

Dear Mr. Specter, Am the next thing to a lady's woman, and am under both my lady and her woman. am fo used by them both, that I should be very ⚫ glad to fee them in the Specter. My lady herfelf is of no mind in the world, and for that rea fon her woman is of twenty minds in a mo ment. My lady is one that never knows what to do with herfelf; fhe pulls on and puts off "every thing fhe wears twenty times before the refolves upon it for that day. I ftand at one end of the room, and reach things to her woman. When my lady afks for a thing, I hear and have half brought it, when the woman meets me in the middle of the room to receive

Thefe are great calamities; but I met the other day in the five fields towards Chelsea, a pleafanter tyrant than either of the above reprefented. A fat fellow was paffing on in his open waistcoat; a boy of fourteen in a livery, carrying after him his cloke, upper coat, hat, wig, and fword. The poor lad was ready to fink with the weight, and could not keep up with his master, who turned back every half furlong, and wondered what made the lazy young dog lag behind.

There is fomething very unaccountable, that people cannot put themselves in the condition of* the perfons below them, when they confider the commands they give. But there is nothing more common, than to fee a fellow, who, if he were ' reduced to it, would not be hired by any man living, lament that he is troubled with the most worthlefs dogs in nature.

It would, perhaps, be running too far out of common life to urge, that he who is not mafter of himself and his own paffions cannot be a proper mafter of another. Equanimity in a man's' own words and actions, will eafily diffufe itself through his whole family. Pamphilio has the happiest houthold of any man I know, and that' proceeds from the humane regard he has to them in their private perfons, as well as in refpect that' they are his fervants. If there be any occafion, wherein they may in themfelves be fuppofed to' be unfit to attend their master's concerns, by reafon of any attention to their own, he is fo good as to place himself in their condition. I thought it very becoming in him, when at dinner the other day he made an apology for want of more attendants. He faid, "One of my footmen is gone "to the wedding of his fifter, and the other I do' "not expect to wait, because his father died but "two days ago."

T

No 138. WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 8. Utitur in re non dubia teftibus non neceffariis.

" my lady fays fhe wants none of all these things, and we are the dulleft creatures in the world, and fhe the unhappiest woman living, for the fhall not be dreffed in any time. Thus we ftand not knowing what to do, when our good lady with all the patience in the world tells us as plain as the can fpeak, that he will have temper because we have no manner of understanding; and begins again to drefs, and fee if we can find out of ourselves what we are to do. When she is dreffed fhe goes to dinner, and after she has difliked every thing there, the calls for her coach, then commands it in again, and then she will not go out at all, and then will go too, and orders the chariot. Now, good Mr. Specter, I detire you would in the behalf of all who ferve froward ladies, give out in your paper,

that nothing can be done without allowing time for it, and that one cannot be back again with what one was fent for, if one is called back before one can go a step for that they want. And if you pleafe, let them know that all miftreffes are as like as all fervants, I am your loving friend,

Patience Giddy,'

ON

point.

TULL.

NE meets now and then with persons who are extremely learned and knotty in expounding clear cafes. Tully tells us of an author that spent some pages to prove that generalscould not perform the great enterprises which have made them fo illuftrious, if they had not had men. He afferted alfo, it feems, that a minifter at home, no more than a commander abroad, could do any thing without other men were his inftruments and affiftants. On this occafion he produces the example of Themistocles, Pericles, Cyrus, and Alexander himself, whom he denies to have been capable of effecting what they did, except they had been followed by others. It is pleafant enough to fee fuch perfons contend without opponents, and triumph without victory.

The author abovementioned by the orator is placed for ever in a very ridiculous light, and we meet every day in converfation fuch as de. ferve the fame kind of renown, for troubling those with whom they converfe with the like certainties. The perfons that I have always thought to deferve the highest admiration in this kind are your ordinary ftory-tellers, who

are