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clock, and immediately a dirty goose behind him made her refponfe, quack, quack. I could not forbear attending this grave proceffion for the length of half a street, with no fmall a⚫ mazement to find the whole place fo familiarly acquainted with a melancholy midnight voice ' at noon-day, giving them the hour, and exhorting them of the departare of time with a bounce at their doors. While I was full of this novelty, I went into a friend's houfe, and told him how I was diverted with their whimsical monitor and his equipage. My friend gave me the hiftory; and interrupted my commendation of the man, by telling me the livelihood of thefe two animals is purchased rather by the good parts of the goofe than of the leader; for it feems the peripatetic who walked before her was a watchman in that neighbourhood; and the goofe of herself by frequent hearing his tone, out of her natural vigilance, not only obferved, but answered it very regularly from time to time. The watchman was fo affected with it, that he bought her, and has taken her in partner, only altering their hours of duty from night to day. The town has come into it, and they live very comfortably. This is the matter of fact: now I defire you, who are a profound philofopher, te confider this alliance of inftin& and reafon. Your fpeculation may turn very naturally upon the force the Yuperior part of mankind may have upon the fpirits of fuch as, like this watchman, may be very near the ftandard of geefe, And you may add to this practi- T cal obfervation, how in all ages and times the world has been carried away by odd unaccountable things, which one would think would pass < upon no creature which had reafon : and, under the fymbol of this goofe, you may enter into the manner and method of leading creatures, with their eyes open, through thick and thin, for they know not what, they knew not why.
All which is humbly fubmitted to your fpectaterial wifdom, by
HAVE for feveral years had under my care the government and education of young ladies, which truft I have endeavoured to difcharge with due regard to their feveral capacities and fortunes: I have left nothing undone to imprint in every one of them an humble courteous mind, accompanied with a graceful becoming mien, and have made them pretty much acquainted with the houshold part of family affairs; but ftill I find there is fomething very much wanting in the air of my ladies, different from what I obferve in those that are efteemed your fine-bred women. Now, Sir, I must own to you, I never fuffered my girls to learn to dance; but fince I have read your difcourfe of dancing, where you have defcribed the beauty and fpirit there is in regular motion, I own myfelf your convert, and refolve for the future to give my young ladies that accomplishment. But upon imparting my defign to their parents, I have been made very uneafy for fome time, because feveral of them have declared, that if I did not make ufe of the mafter they recommended, they would take away their
Your most humble fervant,
• Mr. Spectator,
children. There was colonel Jumper's lady, a colonel of the trainbands, that has great intereft in her parish; fhe recommends Mr. Trot for the prettiest master in town, that no man teaches a jig like him, that she has seen him rife fix or feven capers together with the greatest ease 'imaginable, and that his fcholars twist them'felves more ways than the scholars of any mafter in town: befides there is madam Prim, an alderman's lady, recommends a master of her own name, but the declares he is not of their family, yet a very extraordinary man in his way; ' for befides a very soft air he has in dancing, he gives them a particular behaviour at a tea table, and in presenting their fnuff-box, to twirl, flip, or flirt a fan, and how to place patches to the beft advantage, either for fat or lean, long or oval faces: for my lady fays there is more in thefe things than the world imagines. But I must confefs the major part of thofe I am concerned with, leave it to me. I defire therefore, according to the inclofed direction, you would fend your correfpondent who has writ to you on that fubject to my houfe. If proper application this way can give innocence new charms, and make virtue legible in the countenance, I fhall fpare no charge to make my fcholars in their very features and limbs bear witness how careful I have been in the other parts of their edu⚫cation.
'I am, SIR,
Your most humble fervant,
N° 377. TUESDAY, MAY 13.
HOR. Od. 13. 1. 2. v. 13.
OVE was the mother of poetry, and still barous, a thousand imaginary diftreffes and poetical complaints. It makes a footman talk like Oroondates, and converts a brutal ruftic into a gentle fwain. The most ordinary plebeian or mechanic in love, bleeds and pines away with a certain elegance and tenderness of fentiments which this paffion naturally infpires.
Thefe inward languishings of a mind infected with this foftuefs, have given birth to a phrafe which is made ufe of by all the melting tribe, from the highest to the loweft, I mean that of · dying for love.'
Romances, which owe their very being to this paflion, are full of thefe metaphorical deaths. Heroes and heroines, knights, fquires and damfels, are all of them in a dying condition. There is the fame kind of mortality in our modern tragedies, where every one gafps, faints, bleeds, and dies. Many of the poets, to defcribe the execu tion which is done by this paffion, represent the fair fex as bafilifks that deftroy with their eyes : but I think Mr. Cowley has with great justnefs of thought compared a beautiful woman to a por. cupine, that fends an arrow from every part.
I have often thought, that there is no way fo effectual for the cure of this general infirmity, as
a man's reflecting upon the motives that produce it. When the paffion proceeds from the fenfe of any virtue or perfection in the perfon beloved, I would by no means difcourage it; but if a man confiders that all his heavy complaints of wounds and deaths rife from fome little affectations of coquetry, which are improved into charms by his own fond imagination, the very laying before himfelf the cause of his distemper, may be fufficient
to effect the cure of it.
It is in this view that I have looked over the feveral bundles of letters which I have received from dying people, and composed out of them the following bill of mortality, which I fhall lay before my reader without any further preface, as hoping it may be useful to him in difcovering those feveral places where there is most danger, and thofe fatal arts which are made use of to destroy the heedlefs and unwary.
Lyfander, flain at a puppet-show on the third of
Thirfis, fhot from a casement in Piccadilly.
Will. Simple, fmitten at the opera by the glance of an eye that was aimed at one who stood by him.
Tho. Vainlove, loft his life at a ball. Tim. Tattle, killed by the tap of a fan on his left shoulder by Coquetilla, as he was talking carelemy with her in a bow-window.
Sir Simon Softly, murdered at the play-house in Drury-lane by a frown.
Philander, mortally wounded by Cleora, as the was adjufting her tucker.
Ralph Gapley, Efq; hit by a random hot at the ring.
F. R. caught his death upon the water, April the ift.
from a pair of blue eyes, as he was making his efcape was dispatched by a smile.
Strephon, killed by Clarinda, as she looked down into the pit.
Charles Careless shot flying by a girl of fifteen, who unexpectedly popped her head upon him out of a coach.
Jofiah Wither, aged three-fcore and three, fent to his long home by Elizabeth Jetwell, fpinster. Jack Freelove, murdered by Melissa in her hair. William Wifeacre, gent. drowned in a flood of tears by Moll Common.
From Jeffe's root behold a branch arife, Ifaiæ,Cap. Whofe facred flow'r with fragrance 11. v. 2. fills the skies :
Th' æthereal spirit o'er its leaves shall
And on its top defcends the mystic dove.
And in foft filence fhed the kindly
The fick and weak the healing plant Cap.25.
From forms a fhelter, and from heat a
All crimes hall ceafe, and ancient fraud
Returning Justice lift aloft her fcale; C. 9.0.7
Peace o'er the world her olive wand No more fhall nation against nation Chap. 2. extend,
And white-rob'd Innocence from Heav'n Nor ardent warriors meet with hateful
Swift fly the years, and rife th' expect-
Nor fields with gleaming fteel be co-
See Heav'n its sparkling portals wide
And break upon thee in a flood of day!
as it has fhewn itself in all ages: there is ftill extant an epistle written by Alexander the Great to his tutor Ariftotle, upon that philofopher's publifhing fome part of his writings; in which the prince complains of his having made known to all the world thofe fecrets in learning which he had before communicated to him in private lectures; concluding, That he had rather excel the rest of mankind in knowledge than in power'
Louifa de Padilla, a lady of great learning, and countefs of Aranda, was in like manner angry with the famous Gratian, upon his publishing his treatife of the Difcreto! wherein the fancied that he had laid open those maxims to common readers, which ought only to have been referved for the knowledge of the great.
These objections are thought by many of fo much weight, that they often defend the abovementioned authors, by affirming they have affectTed fuch an obfcurity in their ftile and manner of writing, that though every one may read their works, there will be but very few who can comprehend their meaning.
Nor ev'ning Cynthia fill her filver horn,
O'erflow thy courts: The Light Him-
Reveal'd, and God's eternal day be
C.51, v.6. The feas fhall wafte, the fkies in smoke
But fix'd His word, His faving pow'r
Thy Realm for ever lafts, thy own
No 379. THURSDAY, MAY 15.
Scire tuum nihil eft nifi te fcire hoc fciat alter.
Have often wondered at that ill-natured pofition which has been fometimes maintained in the fchools, and is comprised in an old Latin verfe, namely, that a man's knowledge is worth nothing, if he communicates what he knows to any one befides.' There is certainly no more fenfible pleasure to a good-natured man, than if he can by any means gratify or inform the mind of another. I might add, that this virtue naturally carries its own reward along with it, fince it is almoft impoffible it fhould be exercifed without the improvement of the perfon who practifes it. The reading of books, and the daily occurrences of life, are continually furnishing us with matter for thought and reflexion. It is extremely natural for us to defire to fee fuch our thoughts put into the drefs of words, without which indeed we can scarce have a clear and diftinct idea of them ourselves: when they are thus cloathed in expreffions, nothing fo truly fhews us whether they are juft or falfe, as thofe effects which they produce in the minds of others.
I am apt to flatter myfelf, that in the courfe of thefe my fpeculations, I have treated of several fubjects, and laid down many such rules for the conduct of a man's life, which my readers were either wholly ignorant of before, or which at leaft thofe few, who were acquainted with them, looked upon as fo many fecrets they have found out for the conduct of themselves, but were refelved never to have made public.
I am the more confirmed in this opinion from my having received several letters, wherein I am cenfured for having prostituted learning to the embraces of the vulgar, and made her, as one of my correfpondents phrases it, a common ftrumpet: I am charged by another with laying open the Arcana, or fecrets of prudence, to the eyes of every reader.
The narrow fpirit which appears in the letters of these my correspondents is the less surprising,
Perfius, the Latin fatirift, affected obfcurity for another reafon; with which however Mr. Cowley is fo offended, that writing to one of his friends, You, fays he, tell me, that you do not know whether Perfius be a good poet or no, because you cannot understand him; for which very reafon I affirm that he is not fo.
However, this art of writing unintelligibly has been very much improved, and followed by feveral of the moderns, who obferving the general inclination of mankind to dive into a fecret, and the reputation many have acquired by concealing their meaning under obfcure terms and phrafes, refolve, that they may be ftill more abftruse, to write without any meaning at all. This art, as it is at present practifed by many eminent authors, confifts in throwing fo many words at a venture into different periods, and leaving the curious reader to find the meaning of them.
The Egyptians, who made ufe of hieroglyphics to fignify feveral things, expreffed a man who confined his knowledge and difcoveries altogether within himself, by the figure of a dark lanthorn clofed on all fides, which, though it was illuminated within, afforded no manner of light or advantage to fuch as ftood by it. For my own part, as I fhall from time to time communicate to the public whatever difcoveries I happen to make, I fhould much rather be compared to an ordinary lamp, which confumes and wafles itself for the benefit of every paffenger.
I fhall conclude this paper with the story of Ro-. ficrucius's fepulchre. I suppose I need not inform my readers that this man was the author of the Roficrufian fect, and that his difciples ftill pretend to new difcoveries which they are never to communicate to the reft of mankind.
A certain perfon haying occafion to dig fomewhat deep in the ground, where this philofopher lay interred, met with a small door, having a wall on each fide of it. His curiofity, and the hopes of finding fome hidden treasure, foon prompted him to force open the door. He was immediately surprised by a fudden blaze of light, and discovered a very fair vault: at the upper end of it was a ftatue of a man in armour fitting by a table, and leaning on his left arm. He held a truncheon in his right hand, and had a lamp burning before him. The man had no fooner fet one foot with
In the vault, than the statue erecting itself from its leaning posture, stood bolt upright; and upon the fellow's advancing another step, lifted up his truncheon in his right hand. The man ftill ventured a third step, when the ftatue with a furious blow broke the lamp into a thousand pieces, and left his gueft in a fudden darkness.
Upon the report of this adventure, the country people foon came with lights to the fepulchre, and difcovered that the ftatue, which was made of brafs, was nothing more than a piece of clockwork; that the floor of the vault was all loofe, and underlaid with feveral springs, which, upon any man's entering, naturally produced that which had happened.
Roficrucius, fay his difciples, made use of this method, to fhew the world that he had re-invented the ever-burning lamps of the antients, though he was refolved no one should reap any advantage from the discovery. X
April 28, 1712.
OUR obfervations on perfons that have behaved themselves irreverently church, I doubt not have had a good effect on fome that have read them: but there is another fault which has hitherto escaped your notice, I mean of fuch perfons as are very zealous and punctual to perform an ejaculation that is only preparatory to the fervice of the church, and yet neglect to join in the fervice itfelf. There is an inftance of this in a friend ' of Will Honeycomb's, who fits oppofite to me: he feldom comes in until the prayers are about half over, and when he has entered his feat (inftead of joining with the congregation) he 'devoutly holds his hat before his face for three or four moments, then bows to all his acquaintance, fits down, takes a pinch of fnuff, if it be evening fervice perhaps a nap, and 'fpends the remaining time in furveying the congregation. Now, Sir, what I would defire, is, that you will animadvert a little on this gentleman's practice. In my opinion, this gentleman's devotion, cap-in-hand, is only a compliance to the cuftom of the place, and goes no farther than a little ecclefiaftical goodbreeding. If you will not pretend to tell us the motives that bring fuch trifles to folemn affemblies, yet let me defire that you will give this letter a place in your paper, and I fhall remain,
No 380. FRIDAY, MAY 16. Rivalem patienter habe.
OVID. Ars. Am. 1. 2. v. 538. With patience bear a rival in thy love.
Thursday, May 8, 1712. HE character you have in the world of being the lady's philofopher, and the pretty advice I have feen you give to others in your papers, make me addrefs myself to · you in this abrupt manner, and to defire your opinion what in this age a woman may call a lover. I have lately had a gentleman that I thought made pretenfions to me, infomuch that most of my friends took notice of it, and thought we were really married; which I did not take much pains to undeceive them, and efpecially a young gentlewoman of my parti'cular acquaintance which was then in the country. She coming to town, and feeing our intimacy fo great, fhe gave herfelf the liberty of taking me to talk concerning it: I ingenuously told her we were not married, but I did not know what might be the event. She foon got acquainted with the gentleman, and was pleased to take upon her to examine him about it. Now whether a new face had made a greater conqueft than the old, I will leave you to judge; but I am informed that he utterly denied all pretenfions to courtship, but withal profeffed a fincere friendship for me; but whether marriages are propofed by way of friendship or not, is what I defire to know, and what I may really call a lover. There are fo many who talk in a language fit only for that character, and yet guard themselves againft fpeaking in direct terms to the point, that it is impoffible to distinguish between courtship and converfation. 6 I hope you will do me juf tice both upon my lover and my friend, if they provoke me further: in the mean time I carry it with fo equal a behaviour, that the nymph and the fwain too are mightily at a lofs; each believes I, who know them both well, think myfelf revenged in their love to one another, which creates an irreconcilable jealoufy. If all comes right again, you fhail hear further from,
Sir, your moft obedient fervant,
May the 5th,
HE converfation at a club, of which am a member, laft night falling upon vanity and the defire of being admired, put me in mind of relating how agreeably I was ' entertained at my own door by a clean freshcoloured girl, under the most elegant and beft furnished milk-pail I had ever obferyed. I was glad of fuch an opportunity of feeing the behaviour of a coquet in low life, and how the received the extraordinary notice that was taken of her; which I found had af'f.cted every mufcle of her face in the fame manner as it does the feature of a first-rate toast at a play, or in an affembly. This hint of mine made the difcourfe turn upon the fenfe of pleasure; which ended in a general refolution, that the milk-maid enjoys her va nity as exquifitely as the woman of quality. I think it would not be an improper fubje&t for you to examine this frailty, and trace it to all conditions of life: which is recommend ed to you as an occafion of obliging many of your readers, among the reft,
"Your most humble fervant, 'T. B. OMING laft week into a coffee-house not far from the exchange with my basket under my arm, a Jew of confiderable note, as I am informed, takes half a dozen oranges of
me, and at the fame time flides a guinea into my hand; I made him a curtfy, and went my' < way: he followed me, and finding I was 'going about my business, he came up with me and told me plainly, that he gave me the guinea with no other intent but to purchase my perfon for an hour. Did you fo, Sir? fays I; you gave it me then to make me be wicked; I will keep it to make me honeft.
Sir, your obliged humble furvant,