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THE LOGICIANS REFUTED.
(IN IMITATION OF DEAN SWIFT.)
LOGICIANS have but ill defin'd
As rational the human mind: Reason, they say, belongs to man; But let them prove it if they can. Wise Aristotle and Smiglesius,
By ratiocinations specious,
Have strove to prove with great precision, With definition and division,
Homo est ratione præditum;
But for my soul I cannot credit 'em,
That man and all his ways are vain;
Than reason, boasting mortals' pride;
Who ever knew an honest brute
At law his neighbour prosecute,
Bring action for assault and battery,
Or friend beguile with lies and flattery?
No politics disturb their mind;
They eat their meals, and take their sport,
They never to the levee go,
To treat as dearest friend a foe:
They never importune his grace, Nor ever cringe to men in place; Nor undertake a dirty job, Nor draw the quill to write for Bob. Fraught with invective they ne'er go, To folks at Paternoster-row: No judges, fiddlers, dancing-masters, No pick pockets, or poetasters, Are known to honest quadrupeds; No single brute his fellow leads. Brutes vever meet in bloody fray, Nor cut each other's throats for pay. Of beasts, it is confess'd, the ape Comes nearest us in human shape; Like man he imitates each fashion, And malice is his ruling passion: But both in malice and grimaces, A courtier any ape surpasses. Behold him, humbly cringing, wait Upon the minister of state : View him soon after to inferiors Aping the conduct of superiors: He promises with equal air, And to perform takes equal care. He in his turn finds imitators: At court the porters, lacqueys, waiters, Their masters' manners still contract, And footmen, lords, and dukes, can act. Thus at the court, hoth great and small Behave alike, for all
A BEAUTIFUL YOUTH,
STRUCK BLIND BY LIGHTNING.
(IMITATED FROM THE SPANISH.)
SURE 'twas by Providence design'd,
That he should be, like Cupid, blind,
A NEW SIMILE,
IN THE MANNER OF SWIFT.
LONG had I racked my brains to find
You'll find him pictur'd at full length
The stress of all my proofs on him I lay,
Imprimis, pray observe his hat, Wings upon either side-mark that. Well! what is it from thence we gather? Why, these denote a brain of feather. A brain of feather! very right, With wit that's flighty, learning light; Such as to modern bard's decreed. A just comparison,-proceed.
In the next place, his feet peruse, Wings grow again from both his shoes; Design'd, no doubt, their part to bear, And waft his godship through the air; And here my simile unites, For, in a modern poet's flights, I'm sure it may be justly said, His feet are useful as his head.
Lastly, vouchsafe ť observe his hand,
Though ne'er so much awake before,
Denote the rage with which he writes,
And here my simile almost tript,