'MR. SPECTATOR, barbarian. The first week after she had fixed Finding that you have entertained an use- him, she took a pinch of snuff out of his rival's ful person in your service in quality of love- box, and apparently touched the enemy's litcasuist, I apply myself to you under a very tle finger. She became a professed enemy to great difficulty, that hath for some months the arts and sciences, and scarce ever wrote a perplexed me. I have a couple of humble letter to him without wilfully misspelling his servants, one of which I have no aversion to; name. The young scholar, to be even with the other I think of very kindly. The first her, railed at coquettes as soon as he had got hath the reputation of a man of good sense, the word; and did not want parts to turn into and is one of those people that your sex are ridicule her men of wit and pleasure of the apt to value. My spark is reckoned a cox-town. After having irritated one another for comb among the men, but is a favourite of the the space of five months, she made au assignaladies. If I marry the man of worth, as they tion with him fourscore miles from London. call him, I shall oblige my parents, and im- But, as he was very well acquainted with her prove my fortune; but with my dear beau I pranks, he took a journey the quite contrary promise myself happiness, although not a way. Accordingly they met, quarrelled, and jointure. Now I would ask you, whether I in a few days were married. Their former should consent to lead my life with a man that hostilities are now the subject of their mirth, I have only no objection to, or with him against being content at present with that part of love whom all objections to me appear frivolous. only which bestows pleasure. I am determined to follow the casuist's advice, and I dare say he will not put me upon so serious a thing as matrimony contrary to my inclination. 'P. S. I forgot to tell you, that the pretty gentleman is the most complaisant creature in the world, and is always of my mind; but the other, forsooth, fancies he has as much wit as myself, slights my lap-dog, and hath the insolence to contradict me when he thinks I am not in the right. About half an hour ago, he maintained to my face that a patch always implies a pimple.' Women who have been married some time, not having it in their heads to draw after them a numerous train of followers, find their satisfaction in the possession of one man's heart. I know very well that ladies in their bloom desire to be excused in this particular. But, when time hath worn out their natural vanity and taught them discretion, their fondness settles on its proper object. And it is probably for this reason that, among husbands, you will find more that are fond of women beyond their prime, than of those who are actually in the insolence of beauty. My reader will ap ply the same observation to the other sex. I need not insist upon the necessity of their pursuing one common interest, and their united care for their children; but shall only observe, As I look upon it to be my duty rather to by the way, that married persons are both side with the parents than the daughter, Imore warm in their love, and more hearty in shall propose some considerations to my gentle their hatred, than any others whatsoever. Muquerist, which may incline her to comply with tual favours and obligations, which may be those under whose direction she is; and at the supposed to be greater here than in any other same time convince her that it is not impos- state, naturally beget an intense affection in gesible but she may in time, have a true affec-nerous minds. As, on the contrary, persons tion for him who is at present indifferent to who have bestowed such favours have a partiher; or, to use the old family maxim, that, cular bitterness in their resentments, when if she marries first, love will come after.' they think themselves ill-treated by those of The only objection that she seems to insinu- whom they have deserved so much. ate against tho gentleman proposed to her, is Besides, Miss Fickle may consider, that as his want of complaisance, which I perceive there are often many faults concealed before she is very willing to return. Now I can dis-marriage, so there are sometimes many vircover, from this very circumstance, that she tues unobserved. and her lover, whatever they may think of it, To this we may add the great efficacy of are very good friends in their hearts. It is custom and constant coversation to produce difficult to determine whether love delights a mutual friendship and benevolence in two more in giving pleasure or pain. Let Miss persons. It is a nice reflection, which I have Fickle ask her own heart, if she doth not take heard a friend of mine make, that you may a secret pride in making this man of good be sure a woman loves a man, when she uses sense look very silly. Hath she ever been his expressions, tells his stories, or imitates better pleased than when her behaviour hath his manner. This gives a secret delight; for made her lover ready to hang himself; or imitation is a kind of artless flattery, and doth she ever rejoice more than when she mightily favours the powerful principle of thinks she hath driven him to the very brink self-love. It is certain that married persons, of a purling stream? Let her consider, at the who are possessed with a mutual esteem, not same time, that it is not impossible but her lo- only catch the air and way of talk from one ver may have discovered her tricks, and hath another, but fall into the same traces of thinka mind to give her as good as she brings. Iing and liking. Nay, some have carried the remember a handsome young baggage that remark so far as to assert, that the features of treated a hopeful Greek of my acquaintance, man and wife grow, in time, to resemble one just come from Oxford, as if he had been a another. Let my fair correspondent therefore consider, that the gentleman recommended | Pray, sir, take the laudable mystery of emwill have a good deal of her own face in two broidery into your serious consideration, and, or three years; which she must not expect as you have a great deal of the virtue of from the beau, who is too full of his dear self the last age in you, continue your endeavours to copy after another. And I dare appeal to to reform the present. her own judgment, if that person, will not be the handsomest that is the most like herself. We have a remarkable instance to our present purpose in the history of king Edgar, which I shall here relate, and leave it with my fair correspondent to be applied to herself. 'I am, &c.' In obedience to the commands of my venerable correspondent, I have duly weighed this important subject, and promise myself, from the arguments here laid down, that all the fine ladies of England will be ready, as soon as their mourning is over," to appear covered with the work of their own hands. What a delightful entertainment must it be to the fair-sex, whom their native modesty and the tenderness of men towards them, exempt from public business to pass their hours in imitating fruits and flowers, and transplanting all the beauties of nature into their own dress, or raising a new creation in their closets and apartments! How pleasing is the amusement of walking among the shades and groves planted by themselves, in surveying heroes slain by their needle, or little cupids which they have brought into the world without pain! This great monarch, who is so famous in British story fell in love as he made his progress through his kingdom, with a certain duke's daughter, who lived near Winchester, and was the most celebrated beauty of the age. His importunities and the violence of his passion were so great, that the mother of the young lady promised him to bring her daughter to his bed the next night, though in her heart she abhorred so infamous an office. It was no sooner dark than she conveyed into his room, a young maid of no disagreeable figure, who was one of her attendants, and did not want address to improve the opportunity for the advancement of her fortune. She made so good use of her time, that when she offered to rise a little before day. This is, methinks, the most proper way the king could by no means think of parting wherein a lady can show a fine genius; and I with her; so that, finding herself under a ne- cannot forbear wishing that several writers of cessity of discovering who she was, she did that sex had chosen to apply themselves rather it in so handsome a manner, that his ma- to tapestry than rhyme. Your pastoral poetjesty was exceeding gracious to her, and esses may vent their fancy in rural landscapes. took her ever after under his protection: in-and place despairing shepherds under silken somuch, that, our chronicles tell us, he car-willows, or drown them in a stream of mohair. ried her along with him, made her his first The heroic writers may work up battles as sucminister of state, and continued true to her alone, until his marriage with the beautiful Elfrida. No. 606.] Wednesday, October 13, 1714. - longum cantu solata laborem Arguto conjux percurrit pectine telas. Virg. Georg. i. 294. -mean time at home The good wife singing plies the various loom.. • MR. SPECTATOR, cessfully, and inflame them with gold or stain them with crimson. Even those who have only a turn to a song, or an epigram, may put many valuable stitches into a purse, and crowd a thousand graces into a pair of garters. If I may, without breach of good marners, imagine that any pretty creature is void of genius, and would perform her part herein but very awkwardly, I must nevertheless insist upon her working, if it be only to keep her out of harm's way. Another argument for busying good women in works of fancy is, because it takes them off from scandal, the usual attendant of tea-tables, I HAVE a couple of nieces under my direc- and all other inactive scenes of life. While tion, who so often run gadding abroad, that they are forming their birds and beasts, their do not know where to have them. Their dress, neighbours will be allowed to be the fathers of their tea, and their visits, take up all their their own children; and whig and tory will be time, and they go to bed as tired with doing but seldom mentioned where the great dispute nothing as I am after quilting a whole under- is, whether blue or red is the more proper colour. petticoat. The only time they are not idle is How much greater glory would Sophronia do while they read your Spectators; which being the general, if she would choose rather to work dedicated to the interest of virtue, I desire you the battle of Blenheim in tapestry, than signalto recommend the long-neglected art of nee-ize herself with so much vehemence against dle-work. Those hours which in this age are those who are Frenchmen in their hearts! thrown away on dress, play, visits, and the A third reason that I shall mention, is the like, were employed, in my time, in writing profit that is brought to the family where these out receipts, or working beds, chairs, and pretty arts are encouraged. It is manifest that hangings, for the family. For my part, this way of life not only keeps fair ladies from have plied my needle these fifty years, and running out into expenses, but is at the same by my good will would never have it out of time an actual improvement. How memorable my hand. It grieves my heart to see a couple would that matron be, who shall have it subof proud idle flirts sipping their tea, for a scribed upon her monument, 'That she whole afternoon, in a room hung round with the industry of their great grandmother. * The general mourning on the death of queen Anne. wrought out the whole Bible in tapestry, and produces matrimony, so it often happens that died in a good old age, after having covered matrimony produces love. three hundred yards of wall in the mansion house!' 'It perhaps requires more virtue to make a good husband or wife than what go to the fiThe premises being considered, I humbly nishing any the most shining character whatsubmit the following proposals to all mothers soever. in Great Britain: 'Discretion seems absolutely necessary; and 1. That no young virgin whatsoever be al-accordingly we find that the best husbands have lowed to receive the addresses of her first lover, but in a suit of her own embroidering. 2. That before every fresh humble servant, she be obliged to appear with a new stomacher at the least. 3. That no one be actually married until she hath the child-bed pillows, &c ready stitched, as likewise the mantle for the boy quite finished. been most famous for their wisdom. Homer, who hath drawn a perfect pattern of a prudent man, to make it the more complete, hath celebrated him for the just returns of fidelity and truth to his Penelope; insomuch that he refused the caresses of a goddess for her sake; and, to use the expression of the best of Pagan authors, "Vetulam suam prætulit immortalitati," his old woman was dearer to him than immor These laws, if I mistake not, would effectu-tality. ally restore the decayed art of needle-work,and| 'Virtue is the next necessary qualification make the virgins of Great Britain exceedingly for this domestic character, as it naturally pronimble-fingered in their business. There is a memorable custom of the Grecian ladies, in this particular, preserved in Homer, which I hope will have a very good effect with my country-women. A widow, in ancient times, could not, without indecency, receive a second husband, until she had woven a shroud for her deceased lord, or the next of kin to him. Accordingly, the chaste Penelope having, as she thought, lost Ulysses at sea, she employed her time in preparing a winding-sheet for Laertes, the father of her husband. The story of her web being very famous, and yet not sufficiently known in its several circumstances, I shall give it to my reader, as Homer makes one of her wooers relate it. 'Sweet hope she gave to every youth apart, Thus she. Nor did my friends mistrust the guile : The backward labours of her faithless hand : No. 607.] Friday, October 15, 1714. Dicite lö Pæan, et lö bis dicite Pæan : Now Iö Pæan sing, now wreaths prepare, 6 MR. SPECTATOR, duces constancy and mutual esteem. Thus Brutus and Porcia were more remarkable for virtue and affection than any others of the age in which they lived. Good-nature is a third necessary ingredient in the marriage state, without which it would inevitably sour upon a thousand occasions. When greatness of mind is joined with this amiable quality it attracts the admiration and esteem of all who behold it. Thus Cæsar, not more remarkable for his fortune and valour than for his humanity, stole into the hearts of the Roman people, when, breaking through the custom, he pronounced an oration at the funeral of his first and best-beloved wife. 'Good-nature is insufficient, unless it be steady and uniform, and accompanied with an evenness of temper, which is above all things to be preserved in this friendship contracted for life. A man must be easy within himself before he can be so to his other self. Socrates and Marcus Aurelius are instances of men, who, by the strength of philosophy, having entirely composed their minds, and subdued their passions, are celebrated for good husbands, notwithstanding the first was yoked with Xantippe, and the other with Faustina. If the wedded pair would but habituate themselves for the first year to bear with one another's faults, the difficulty would be pretty well conquered. This mutual sweetness of temper and complacency was finely recommended in the nuptial ceremonies among the heathens, who, when they sacrificed to Juno at that solemnity, always tore out the gall from the entrails of the victim, and cast it behind the altar. 'I shall conclude this letter with a passage out of Dr. Plot's Natural History of Staffordshire, not only as it will serve to fill up your present paper, but, if I find myself in the humour, may give rise to another; I having by me an old register belonging to the place here under-mentioned. 'Sir Philip de Somerville held the manors of Whichenovre, Scirescot, Ridware, Netherton, 'HAVING in your paper of Monday last pub- and Cowlee, all in the county of Stafford, of lished my report on the case of Mrs. Fanny the earls of Lancaster, by this memorable serFickle, wherein I have taken notice, that love vice. The said Sir Philip shall find, maintain, comes after marriage; I hope your readers are and sustain, one bacon-flitch, hanging in his satisfied of this truth, that as love generally hall at Whichenovre, ready arrayed all times VOL. II. 48 of the year but in Lent, to be given to every 'Hear ye, Sir Philip de Somervile, lord of man or woman married, after the day and the Whichenovre, mayntener and gyver of this bayear of their marriage be past, in form follow-conne; that I A sithe I wedded B my wife, and sithe I had hyr in my kepying, and at my ing." "Whensoever that any one such before nam- wylle, by a year and a day after our mared will come to inquire for the bacon, in their riage, I would not have chaunged for none own person, they shall come to the bailiff, or other; farer ne fowler; richer ne pourer ; to the porter of the lordship of Whichenovre, ne for none other deseended of greater lynand shall say to them in the manner as ensueth: age; slepying ne waking, at noo tyme.'Bailiff, or porter, I do you to know, that I And if the seyd B were sole, and I sole, am come for myself to demand one bacon-flyke I would take her to be my wife before all hanging in the hall of the lord of Whichenovre, the wymen of the world, of what condiciafter the form thereunto belonging.' ones soever they be, good or evylle; as help me God and his seyntes, and this flesh and all fleshes. "After which relation, the bailiff or porter shall assign a day to him, upon promise by his “And his neighbours shall` make oath, that faith to return, and with him to bring twain of his neighbours. And in the mean time, the they trust verily he hath said truly. And if it said bailiff shall take with him twain of the be found by his neighbours before-named, that freeholders of the lordship of Whichenovre, he be a freeman, there shall be delivered to him and they three shall go to the manor of Rudlow, half a quarter of wheat and a cheese ; and if belonging to Robert Knightleye, and there he be a villain he shall have half a quarter of shall summon the aforesaid Knightleye, or his rye without cheese. And then shall Knightbailiff, commanding him to be ready at Whiche- leye, the lord of Rudlow, be called for, to novre the day appointed, at prime of day, with carry all these things tofore rehearsed; and his carriage, that is to say, a horse and a sad- the said corn shall be laid on one horse, and dle, a sack and a pryke, for to convey the said the bacon above it: and he to whom the babacon and corn a journey out of the county of con appertaineth shall ascend upon his horse, Stafford, at his costages. And then the said and shall take the cheese before him, if he bailiff shall, with the said freeholders summon have a horse. And if he have none, the lord all the tenants of the said manor, to be ready of Whichenovre ́shall cause him to have one at the day appointed at Whichenovre, for to do horse and saddle, to such time as he be passed and perform the services which they owe to the his lordship: and so shall they depart the bacon. And at the day assigned, all such as manor of Whichenovre with the corn and owe services to the bacon shall be ready at the the bacon, tofore him that hath won it, with gate of the manor of Whichenovre, from the trumpets, taborets, and other manner of minsun-rising to noon, attending and awaiting for strelsy. And all the free tenants of Whichthe coming of him who fetcheth the bacon. enovre shall conduct him to be passed the And then shall they And when he is come, there shall be delivered lordship of Whichenovre. to him and his fellows, chaplets, and to all those all return except him to whom appertaineth which shall be there to do their services due to make the carriage and journey without the to the bacon. And they shall lead the said county of Stafford, at the costs of his lord of demandant with trumps and tabors, and other Whichenovre." manner of minstrelsy, to the hall door, where he shall find the lord of Whichenovre, or his steward, ready to deliver the bacon in this man ner: No. 608.] Monday, October 18, 1714. - Perjuria ridet amantum. Ovid Ars Amor. Lib. i. 633. - Forgiving with a smile The perjuries that easy maids beguile.-Dryden. 6 MR. SPECTATOR, "He shall inquire of him which demandeth the bacon, if he have brought twain of his neighbours with him: which must answer, 'they be here ready.' And then the steward shall cause these two neighbours to swear, if} the said demandant be a wedded man, or have 'ACCORDING to my promise I herewith transbeen a man wedded; and if since his marriage mit to you a list of several persons, who from one year and a day be past; and if he be a time to time demanded the flitch of bacon of freeman or a villain.t And if his said neigh- Sir Philip de Somervile, and his descendants; bours make an oath that he hath for him all as it is preserved in an ancient manuscript, these three points rehearsed, then shall the under the title of "The Register of Whichebacon be taken down and brought to the hall novre-hall, and of the bacon flitch there maindoor, and shall there be laid upon one half-tained," quarter of wheat, and upon one other of rye. In the beginning of this record is recited And he that demandeth the bacon shall kneel upon his knee, and shall hold his right hand upon a book, which book shall be laid upon the bacon and the corn, and shall make oath in this manner : * There was a similar institution at Dunmow in Essex, for an account of which see Leeland's Itinerary. † Villain, in the language of the time, signified a servant or bondman. the law or institution in form, as it is already printed in your last paper: to which are added two bye-laws, as a comment upon the general law, the substance whereof is, that the wife shall take the same oath as the husband, mutatis mutandis, and that the judges shall, as they think meet, interrogate or cross-examine the witnesses. After this proceeds the register in manner following: Aubry de Falstaff, son of Sir John Fal staff, knight, with dame Maude his wife, were ners, and coming in late of nights; are so the first that demanded the bacon, he hav-many several articles which occasioned the ing bribed twain of his father's companions reprobation of some scores of demandants, to swear falsely in his behoof, whereby he whose names are recorded in the aforesaid gained the flitch: but he and his said wife register. falling immediately into a dispute how the said bacon should be dressed, it was, by order of the judges, taken from him, and hung up again in the hall. Without enumerating other particular persons, I shall content myself with observing that the sentence pronounced against one Gervase Poacher is, that " he might have had bacon to "Alison, the wife of Stephen Freckle, brought his eggs, if he had not hitherto scolded his wife her said husband along with her, and set forth when they were over-boiled." And the depothe good conditions and behaviour of her con-sition against Dorothy Dolittle runs in these sort, adding withal that she doubted not but he words, "that she had so far usurped the dowas ready to attest the like of her, his wife; minion of the coal fire (the stirring whereof whereupon he, the said Stephen, shaking his her husband claimed to himself), that by her head, she turned short upon him, and gave him good-will she never would suffer the poker out a box on the ear. of her hand." 66 6 Philip de Waverland, having laid his hand upon the book, when the clause, were I sole and she sole,' was rehearsed, found a secret compunction rising in his mind, and stole it off again. He 'I find but two couples in this first century that were successful: the first was a sea-captain and his wife, who since the day of their marriage had not seen one another until the day of the claim. The second was an honest pair in the neighbourhood; the husband was a man of plain good sense, and a peaceable temper; the woman was dumb.' "Richard de Loveless, who was a courtier, and a very well-bred man, being observed to hesitate at the words ' after our marriage,' was thereupon required to explain himself. replied, by talking very largely of his exact No. 609.] Wednesday, October 20, 1714. complaisance while he was a lover; and alleged that he had not in the least disobliged his wife for a year and a day before marriage, which he hoped was the same thing. "Rejected. "Joceline Jolly, esq. making it appear, by unquestionable testimony, that he and his wife had preserved full and entire affection for the space of the first month, commonly called the honey-moon, he had, in consideration thereof, one rasher bestowed upon him." 'After this, says the record, many years passed over before any demandant appeared at Whichenovre-hall; insomuch that one would have thought that the whole country were turned Jews, so little was their affection to the flitch of bacon. Farrago libelli. Juv. Sat. i. 86. The miscellaneous subjects of my book. MR. SPECTATOR, I HAVE for some time desired to appear in your paper, and have therefore chosen a day* to steal into the Spectator, when I take it for granted you will not have many spare minutes for speculations of your own. As I was the other day walking with an honest country gentleman, he very often was expressing his astonishment to see the town so mightily crowded with doctors of divinity; upon which I told him he was very much mistaken if he took all those gentlemen he saw in scarfs to be persons The next couple enrolled had like to of that dignity; for that a young divine, after have carried it, if one of the witnesses had his first degree in the university, usually comes not deposed, that dining on a Sunday with hither only to show himself; and, on that octhe demandant, whose wife had sat below casion, is apt to think he is but half equipped the squire's lady at church, she the said wife with a gown and cassock for his public appeardropped some expressions, as if she thought ance, if he hath not the additional ornament of her husband deserved to be knighted; to a scarf of the first magnitude to entitle him to which he returned a passionate pish! The the appellation of Doctor from his landlady, judges, taking the premises into consideration, and the boy at Child's. Now since I know declared the aforesaid behaviour to imply an unwarrantable ambition in the wife, and anger in the husband. It is recorded as a sufficient disqualification of a certain wife, that, speaking of her husband, she said, "God forgive him." that this piece of garniture is looked upon as a mark of vanity or affectation, as it is made use of among some of the little spruce adventurers of the town, I should be glad if you would give it a place among those extravagancies you have justly exposed in several of It is likewise remarkable, that a couple your papers being very well assured that were rejected upon the deposition of one of their the main body of the clergy, both in the neighbours, that the lady had once told her country and the universities, who are almost husband, that "it was her duty to obey ;" to to a man untainted with it, would be very which he replied, "O my dear! you are never well pleased to see this venerable foppery in the wrong!" well exposed. When my patron did me the 'The violent passion of one lady for her honour to take me into his family (for I lap-dog; the turning away of the old house- must own myself of this order), he was maid by another; a tavern bill torn by the wife, and a tailor's by the husband; a quar *The 20th of October, 1714, was the day of the corona rel about the kissing-crust; spoiling of diu- tion of king George 1. |