А сору. Dr. Parker's answer. AFTER my duty of commendations. Where of late I received your letters to this effect, that I should repair up unto you at London, upon occasion, as ye wrote, which may turn me to good, so judged by a late conference with the right worshipful sir William Cecil, secretary to the queen's majesty, of long time my special good friend and master, ye shall understand that my quartane hath so much distempered the state of my health, that, without apparent danger, I cannot as yet commit my self to the adventure of the air, as by divers essays I have attempted of late, to my greater pain, and further hinderance; whereupon, if your opportunity might so serve, I would most heartily pray your worship to signify so much. And further, yet in confidence of your old good heart to me, I would be a suiter to you, as I was once to sir John Cheek, my entire good friend, and patron, to the said sir William Cecil, that where he was desirous, by his mediation, to do me good, (as here you use to call it) even as I was then framed in mind, so am I at this day. I would be inwardly heavy and sorry that his favourable affection should procure me any thing above the reach of mine ability, whereby I should both dishonest my self, and disappoint the expectation of such as may think that in me, which I know is not; but specially I might clog and cumber my conscience to Godward, before whom I look every day to appear to make mine answer, which I think, and as I trust, is not far off: notwithstanding though I would most fain wear out the rest of my life in private state, yet concerning that very small talent credited unto me, I would not so unthankfully to God ensue my quiet, that I could not be content to bestow it, so it were there, whether my heart and conscience afore this time, and daily yet doth incline me: I mean, to be no further abled, but by the revenue of some prebend, (without charge of cure, or of government,) to occupy my self to dispense God's word amongst the simple strayed sheep of God's fold, in poor destitute parishes and cures, more meet for my deK k VOL. II. P. 2. BOOK III. II. PART cayed voice, and small quality, than in theatrical and great audience which walk, and wish I would to be near their quarters, where we both were born, by occasion whereof I might have opportunity to wait other-while on you at Redgrave, whither I have vowed my first journey, immediately upon my strength recovered, by the occasion of your friendly request of your letters ye sent me. And if I might be yet bolder with you, as I was with the said sir John Cheek, to disclose my desire of all places in England, I would wish to bestow most my time in the university, the state whereof is miserable at this present, as I have had intelligence from time to time thereof. And if in any respect I could do service, as a weak member of the common-wealth, I think I might do it with them, having long acquaintance, and some experience in the doings thereof; which judgment had the said sir John Cheek towards me: and therefore to set me on work, had once, by the favour of the said Mr. Secretary, procured to have me named to the mastership of Trinity college, which yet chanced not to that effect, God otherwise determining the matter in his providence. But to tell you my heart, I had rather have such a thing as Bennetcollege is in Cambridg, a living of twenty nobles by the year at the most, than to dwell in the deanry of Lincoln, which is 200 at the least. Now, sir, ye may see herein, yet my ambition in writing thus much, but I shall pray you to accept the circumstances, which ye may better insinuate to Mr. Secretary, than I dare be bold, by my rude letters, to molest his favourable goodness, or yet prescribe to your, or his worship, wisdom and prudence. In conclusion, at the reverence of God, I pray you, either help that I be quite forgotten, or else so appointed, that I be not entangled now of new, with the concourse of the world, in any respect of publick state of living, whereby I shall have an unfeigned signification of your very good will to me indeed, and be bound to pray for you during my life. Some of your scholars at Cambridg, enjoying the benefit of your liberal exhibition, have sent your worship now their letters, some be sick and absent. III. Thus reprising the quiet of my mind, and having good BOOK hope in your friendliness to the considerations aforesaid, I wish you a full recovery of your health, and a continuance in God's grace and favour, with all your family. Your beadsman to command, M. P. A long letter of Dr. Parker's excusing himself from the offer of the arch-bishoprick of Canterbury. An original. RIGHT honourable, my duty presupposed. It is an old said proverb, Ubi quis dolet ibidem et manum frequenter habet, beseeching you, for God's sake, the rather to bear the importunity of this my hand-writing, supposing that this may be one of the last solicitations that I shall molest you with. Sir, Your signification uttered to me at my first coming to you at London, concerning a certain office ye named to me, did hold me in such carefulness all my time of being there, with the recurring of a dull distemperance, set in my head by the dregs of my quartane, and as yet not remedied, whereby I had no disposition to my book; beside some other displeasant cogitations concerning the state of this time, made me have so little joy of my being at London, as I had never less in my life: most glad when my back was turned thereunto. But to come near to my intent of writing, I shall pray to God, yea, bestow that office well, ye shall need care the less for the residue. God grant it chanceth neither on an arrogant man, neither on a fainthearted man, nor on a covetous man; the first shall both sit in his own light, and shall discourage his fellows to join with him in unity of doctrine, which must be their whole strength; for if any heart-burning be betwixt them, if private quarrels stirred abroad be brought home, and so shall shiver them asunder, it may chance to have that success which I fear in the conclusion will follow. The second man should be too weak to commune with the adversaries, who would be the stouter upon his pusillanimity. The third PART man not worth his bread, profitable for no estate in any Christian common-wealth, to serve it rightly. II. For my part, I pray God I never fall into his indignation and wisdom; it were not for a subject to deserve his prince's displeasure, and sorry would I be to discontent Mr. Secretary, and you, for whose worshipful favours I count my self more bound to pray to God, and to wish well to them for all the men in the realm beside. I speak it sincerely, without flattery; for though I have little wit, yet I can discern betwixt men, who delight to be flattered, and who not, though I would not consider how dishonest it were for me to use it. But, sir, except ye both moderate and restrain your over-much good will in the former respect to me-ward, I fear, in the end, I shall dislike you both, and that your benevolencies should, by occasion of my obstinate untowardness, jeopard me into prison; yet there shall I bear you my good heart, which I had rather suffer in a quiet conscience, than to be intruded into such room and vocation, wherein I should not be able to answer the charge to God, nor to the world, wherein I should not serve the queen's honour, which I wish most heartily advanced in all her wise and godly proceedings; nor yet should I live to the honour of the realm, and so finally should but work a further displeasant contemplation to my good friends who preferred me. This, this is the thing that makes me afraid, my lord, though I passed not on mine own shame and rebuke; and therefore, by God's favour, and your good helps, I never intend to be of that order, better or worse, higher nor lower; Non omnia possumus omnes; et tutissimum est ut quisque hanc artem exerceat in qua educatus, et ad quam natura homines formavit. And as for other furnishments, I am too far behind. When I came first up to London, I had thirty pounds in my purse, not ten shillings more, whereof I have wasted a good part; and if I were placed, as some of my friends wish to me, what would that do to begin, or to furnish my houshold. And I hear how the citizens of Norwich pray for the soul of their last bishop, for when upon his departure they seized his goods, to answer his debts to them, straight-way came the queen's officers and discharged them all, which yet were not able, for all his spare hospitality, to pay half that he owed. Furthermore, to come to another consideration, of a further imperfection, which I would have dissembled to you and others, but it cannot be, but I must open it to you, my assured good master and friend, in secrecy, whose old good will maketh me the less abashed, to be so homely with you at this time. In one of my letters, I made a little signification of it, but peradventure ye did not mark it. Sir, I am so in body hurt and decayed, coram Deo non mentior, that whatsoever my ability were, either of worldly furniture, or inward quality; and though my heart would right-feign serve my soveraign lady, the queen's majesty, in more respects than of my allegiance, not forgetting what words her grace's mother said to me of her, not six days before her apprehension, yet this my painful infirmity will not suffer it in all manner of services. Flying in a night, for such as sought for me, to my peril, I fell off my horse so dangerously, that I shall never recover it; and by my late journey up, and my being there at London, not well setled, it is increased to my greater pain. I am fain sometime to be idle, when I would be occupied; and also to keep my bed, when my heart is not sick. This was one cause why I was importune to you for that room, whereof I made mention in my former letters, by the which I might be abled, by the portion of that stipend, in this my impoverishment, to wear out my life tolerably, and should not by that be occasioned to come up to any convocations, as having no voice in that house; and peradventure being there, I might be a mean for the fewer matters of disturbance, to come up to Mr. Secretary, now chancellor there, to molest him, more than should need, whose gentle affability might provoke some inconsiderate men not to regard his other greater affairs. And yet though I were so placed, I would not forswear London, or the court either, at times, as could stand with my ability and health of body, BOOK III. |