her liege lord's flank; my sisters retreated by a fresh supply of diluted alcohol which he behind me ; while Archy, under the cowardly had swallowed in honor of his guest, he venpretext that the fire required his services, tured to inquire of the little gentleman got fairly in the rear of all, muttering as he "whether business or pleasure had brought glided past me, him to the Border-and if he were a tradeor a tourist ?"

"Speak him fair-speak him fair, for the love of God!—dinna thra him!-dinna thra him!-or he'll bring desolation upon us a'." Like another Paul Pry, the pleasant stranger modestly expressed a hope that he should not be considered an intruder. There was smoke in his apartment; and he opined that there was a crow's nest in the chimney. He was unfortunately asthmatic; and he might as well expect to sleep over a lime-kiln. He dared not venture to open a window to ventilate the chamber; and although, as a horsejockey would say, his "bellows were bad," and peat reek inconvenient to his air-pipes, it appeared that the little man dreaded the admission of the night-wind, for asthma was bad enough, but sciatica the devil!

"When you're clear away from the neighborhood, I trust you may have a united attack of the two," muttered my father.

To brisk up the fire, and free the room of smoke, would require half an hour; and, after delivering himself of this Jeremiade, the little fellow modestly concluded by venturing his opinion that a tumbler of hot toddy would not be amiss, and expressed a hope that the ladies would honor the symposium with their presence. My mother looked to my father for advice; my sisters silently appealed to me.

"Dinna thra him!-dinna thra him!" muttered the butler.

In a low whisper I alluded obscurely to the cutty-stool. My sire made no opposition. The guest's request was complied with, and we sat down to a dock-an-durris,—while through Archy, orders were transmitted to the womankind of the establishment, to repair forthwith to the stranger's dormitory, and restore the atmospheric purity of the

same.

"I have been both in my time," returned the dwarf. "I have sweltered under the line, and been frost-bitten in Kamschatka. There is but little of the surface of this world with which I am unacquainted.'

"And I strongly suspect," I added in a whisper to my sister, "that he's tolerably intimate with the geography of the other one, and could travel below without a guide."

My mother timidly inquired, whether changes into climates whose temperatures were so opposite would not be injurious to the constitution ?"

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They have had very little effect upon mine," returned the little gentleman. "I can stand cold tolerably; although I do not exactly fancy a residence in the immediate vicinity of an iceberg. Heat I prefer; and I never found a country too hot for me yet."

"Upon my conscience I believe every word he says," I murmured in my sister's ear.

"Well, my wanderings are nearly overI suppose, Julia, he had what military men call leave between returns,' and must head back to the old shop, where he'll find no scarcity of coals."

"And, had I two wants supplied-" he paused.

"A couple of sinners, no doubt, to present to Beelzebub on his return. Tell him, Julia, he shall have the cook, if he please,-—and that she's at liberty to repair to the place she came from."

The little gentleman dipped once more into his high toast, took a refreshing pinch,—and thus proceeded:

"And yet, when I explain the articles I require, you would say there can be no difficulty in providing both in England without The little gentleman was perfectly at his trouble or delay. My first want is a wife; ease; he had assumed his comfortable cor- my second an heir!" and the little man execuner beside the fire: and when he had fabri- ted a singular cacchination, at the supposed cated a glass of toddy to his taste, he cross-facility with which his double wants would be ed his spindle shanks for greater comfort, obtained.

however pardonable the disclosure of his matrimonial intentions might be, the second object of the little man's anxiety should not have been communicated in the presence of the fair sex.

and seemed inclined to play the agreeable. "I wonder to which of you he will proHis attitude gratified the ladies; the yellow pose," I whispered to my sisters, while my alippers were clearly visible by the bright father stared in astonishment, and my mother's firelight. The guest's feet were like other grave countenance plainly intimated, that people's feet; and, if he generally travelled upon cloots, out of compliment to the family, he had left them behind in Pandemonium. The tone of his conversation had undergone a change; it was light, amusing, and occasionally instructive. Family reminiscences were no longer recalled; nor the least allusion was made to hemp; and Aunt Janet's name was never mentioned. My father became more at home; and, at last emboldened

The delicate announcement seemed a signal for the dame and her daughters to retirethe dwarf ceremoniously conducted them to the door, and doffed his blue Kilmarnock at their disappearance. Presently, one of our

domestic spider-brushers announced that the | eight o'clock saw his lean legs under the sleeping-room was free from smoke, and mahogany of the breakfast-table. At nine ready for his occupation. The little gentleman rose and resumed his candlestick; while my father, dreading, I suppose, a third visitation, directed me to accompany him, and see that everything was properly arranged for the accommodation of our distinguished guest.

a post-chaise, previously ordered, drove to the door-and the dwarf and his traps were deposited in "the leathern conveniency." According to the little gentleman's report, his destination was Carlisle. Archy, however, held a different opinion-and intimated a belief that, wherever he might drive by day, to a dead certainty, he would pull up at night in Pandemonium.

If ease of manner be a certain test of good breeding, certainly the stranger had received a polite education, for never was a gentleman Reader, I have been rather particular in of small dimensions more completely at home. thus introducing a nameless gentleman to He stuck the candlestick into my hand, and your acquaintance. When a pleasant persignalled me to precede him; and, while he sonage favors you with his auto-biography shuffled up the staircase in his yellow slip-in a novel, his great object is too keep you in pers, I could not help smiling at my increase hot water through three volumes, and mystify of dignity, in thus being promoted to be groom matters to the very last; but, far from folof the chamber to a personage who all ad- lowing this, the most approved plan of bookmitted was a dwarf, and whom others averred making, I will let you into the secret at the to be the devil. On entering his dormitory, very start. My fortunes and five thousand he looked about as if he felt anxious to dis-a-year, are dependent upon the lean little cover something to find fault with-but in gentleman whose identity and destination are this he was unhappily disappointed, and after so doubtful, and on the agency of a haircarefully depositing his person in an easy brained Irishman, whom I shall present to chair, he fell back upon past grievances. you in the next chapter, if you will but take Archy, it appeared, had dropped a log of the trouble to read the same. wood upon his toes-and the chambermaid, no doubt, intended and expected that he should have been found in the morning defunct from suffocation.

"If there be a thing I abominate above another," concluded the guest, “it is peatsmoke."

"Brimstone," I muttered to myself, "is a smell you are more familiar with."

"And now, you may be off," observed the little gentleman. "At sharp eight you'll see

me at the breakfast-table."

Egad! I would be better pleased to see you up to the chin in a bog-hole."

"Were you making any remark?" inquired yellow slippers, who had overheard my terings.

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CHAPTER II.

Family affairs." The Cat and Bagpipes."Irish method of making a freemason-The rejected recruit.-A shindy.

SEVERAL months had elapsed since the little gentleman departed, and, as it would appear, in peace; for none of the consequences which were expected to attend the dreaded visit had been realized. The sheep were mut-reported healthy, from the dairy department no murmurings were heard,-my elder sister had enslaved an Ayrshire laird, and the younger demolished an Irish dragoon,-and it was even admitted by Archy, that if the dwarf had amused himself by " working cantrips when honest people were asleep," they and, while my sire had no reason to comhad not been to the detriment of the family; plain that

Merely, expressing a wish which I should hope to see realized in the morning."

“And what might that be, youngster ?" "That your bed might be comfortable, and your slumbers most refreshing."

"Humph!" returned the little gentleman; mere words of course. I suppose were soused in the Tweed, it would be to you a matter of perfect indifference."

"Far from it, my old lad!" I ejaculated as I closed the door, "I would ride fifty miles, to see you in an element you're not much used to, if Archy may be credited."

The night passed-and, contrary to general expectation, the quiet of my father's mansion was undisturbed. If the dwarf employed himself in mystic rites, he discreetly dispensed with thunder and lightning in the operation; and even the housemaid admitted, that next. morning she could not smell sul phur in the room. Punctual to promise,

"His cattle died, and blighted was his corn,".the young ladies were absolutely on the high road to matrimony, and had a reasonable chance of rapid promotion into that honorable estate.

This happy deliverance from the evils which might have arisen from lodging a warlock with brimstone slippers in a Christian establishment, was resolved to different causes. My father opined that the dock an durris had softened the heart of the little gentleman, and abated his malignity; while the ladies, like the Irishwoman who laid the ultra

population of her village "upon fish and praties," ascribed their escape from witchcraft and eternal celibacy, to a brandered moorfowl and turkey-eggs. Archy, however, dissented from both. To his agency, as he averred, our safety from satanic influence might be traced. He had placed a rusty horse-shoe over the dwarf's door, and dispersed an armful of rowan-tree in every direction, besides going through sundry operations, too numerous to be remembered or related.

The bold dragoon, whom I have already mentioned as being a suitor to my younger sister, had come to the Border on short leave, to fish the Tweed and its tributaries. Our acquaintance commenced on the banks of that classic stream; both were enthusiastic anglers, and both well versed in the science of "the gentle art." He was a stranger to, and I familiar with, every pool and rapid from Blacatter to Yetham-I gave him the advantage of my local knowledge-and he returned the compliment by a present of foreign feathers and Limerick hooks. On the third evening we swore eternal friendship on the captain's fly-book-and I persuaded him to leave his country inn, and make my father's house head-quarters during his sojourn on the Borders.

pired, and Julia, in reply, muttered something about maternal love and family approbation. Whether he imprinted a kiss upon her virgin hand a la Grandison I know not; but that night he made me his confidant after supper; and, as is the usual course in love affairs, he was pleased to ask my good offices and advice, after he had committed himself beyond recovery, and promised to love, honor, and cherish while, as they say in Ireland, "there. was a kick in him."

Love laughs at locksmiths; but Cupid himself would not be allowed to take liberties with the Horse Guards. The fatal 24th came round, and Reginald Dillon was obliged to travel all night, to report himself next morning. I fancy that the parting was pathetic; for, as I drove the gig from the hall-door to set down my friend where the Edinburgh mail changed horses, I observed a hand, with half a yard of cambric in it, waving a mute adieu from the chamber occupied by the young ladies.

Six months elapsed-and a letter came to say that a corpulent uncle had gone the way of all flesh, and that by the demise of this stout gentleman, Reginald Dillon was placed in a position to commence house-keeping, without farther delay. It was, moreover intimated that he had retired from the 5th DraReginald Dillon was an excellent sample of goon Guards-and, that with the permission a regular Emeralder, a handsome, hair- of all concerned, after a decent period had brained fellow, full of animal spirits, and with been permitted for lamenting a departed relathat national originality in manner and ex- tion, who, when living, would not have parted pression which render Irish gentlemen so with a shilling to save him, the said Regicompanionable and amusing. To manly cha- nald, from transportation, he would repair to racter he united natural talent and a culti- the Border, and claim one of its beauties for vated mind-and in the field and in the draw- a bride. A pressing invitation came to me ing-room he was equally at home. He shot by the same post, to visit him in Ireland; a snipe and killed a salmon as if he had been | and, fearing that the bereavement he had sufbred a borderer: and he possessed an exten- fered, with the burden of a couple of thousand sive stock of that confounded agreeability, which is accounted indigenous to the land of saints, and acknowledged by the fair sex to be irresistible.

My younger sister was generally admitted to be handsome-at least so said the menand even some of the women admitted that her face and person were redolent of health and good humor. The young dragoon was a person of similar temperament, and, had he wooed in Falstaff's vein, he might have claimed sympathy at once, and pleaded, "You are merry, so am I." In a brief week, things looked as if they would end in housekeeping-and in a fortnight, the dragoon was past praying for." But Dillon was every inch a gentleman; he knew that circumstances would not at present permit a marriage-and, consequently, he determined to wait until prudence should warrant a disclosure of his feelings, and authorise him to demand the fair one's hand.

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The resolution was excellent; but during a moorland walk the secret unhappily trans

per annum additionally imposed upon him, might, thus united, be too much to bear, I determined to sustain my friend in this unexpected calamity, and visit the Emerald Isle.

Like Norval the younger, "I left my father's house," but did not deem it necessary to "take with me a chosen servant to conduct my steps." Repairing to Glasgow, I embarked in a Dublin packet-crossed the Channel-sojourned a week in the metropolis

where the "hereditary bondsmen," notwithstanding Saxon oppression, seemed to me in wonderful health and spirits,-set out for the south-and en route to Killnacorrib, reached Ballyporeen, a pleasant and populous town, where, in the preceding chapter, I left the gentle reader.

"The Cat and Bagpipes" was not an hostelrie which a traveller would select to "take his ease in,"—and an accidental delay in the transmission of a letter to Reginald Dillon, unfortunately extended my sojourn in this agreeable caravansera until the third day; and, during the couple of nights which I re

sleepers could not have closed an eye; and, as an Irish solicitor charges for loss of sleep," while considering whom he shall employ to swear an alibi for his client, so might I have fairly debited the said "sons of harmony" with thirteen and eightpence. Determined to make up for broken slumbers on the former night, I retreated to my dormitory with the lark-and exhausted nature yielding to the gentle influence of the sleepy deity, I was forthwith fast as a watchman. Ere an hour had elapsed, however, I was startled by a loud alarum; and unearthly noises were united to sulphureous smells. There was a trampling of feet and people seemed to be pelting each other with chairs and tables-the din increased; fire-arms were discharged—I sprang out of bed; the bell-pull was broken; and nothing remained but to roar for help. I rushed down the lobby-but at the extremity I encountered a truculent-looking fellow with a naked sword, who barred a further passage, and I was too happy to retreat with life. At last my outcries were overheard, and Denis Ryan came to my assistance.

mained indebted to Phil Corcoran for "good | out the remainder. "With bloody murder in lodging and entertainment," I am ready to the next room," as she termed it, Sibby Demake affidavit before any justice of the peace, laney admitted, that even one of the seven that none of those on the strength of the establishment, were ever under a counterpane. Indeed, the whole brigade, from the landlord to the boots, appeared to me a detachment of somnambulists. When endeavoring to convey dinner orders to the waiter, and reprobating his yawning in my presence, as a set off he pleaded innocence of bed from the preceding Thursday. I tumbled the same evening over the chamber-maid, who was dozing on the stairs; and she observed, in mitigation of damages, that she had not "pressed feathers" for three nights. "The Cat and Bagpipes" was typical of human life; for it was an eternal succession of entrees and departures. On the whole, it was not an hostlerie where a man would wish to live and die. Had the waiter been enabled to attend awake, his ministry might have been unexceptionable, and full allowance must be made for a spiderbrusher who infests the lobbies, in that state of semi-somnolency which Lady Macbeth displays upon the stage, when she is in quest of soap and water, and anxious to come cleanhanded before the audience. On the whole, Denis Ryan would have been the better of a lighter-colored shirt-while to Sibby Delaney, shoes and stockings would have been decidedly an improvement.

"What, in the devil's name, is the matter ?" I gasped out.

"Yer honor has hit it to a T. Oh! blessed Virgin, stand our friend!" and Denis executed a flourish of his thumb, which was intended to place the sign of the cross between himself and evil. 'They're raisin' him at the bottom of the lobby."

Raising whom?"

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"The devil! The Lord pardon us for naming him!" responded the chief butler. "Nonsense, man!"

"It's truth, yer honor; the masons are goin' to make Mr. Clancy of Ballybooley, and they're gettin' the ould lad up through the floor."

As to the culinary department of the "Cat and Bagpipes," I shall merely remark, that for patriotic considerations Mister Corcoran dispensed with a French cook; and the tourist who required turtle-soup might not find that cockney abomination in honest Philip's bill of fare. An elegant simplicity was observed in all the arrangements of the tabletravellers were not poisoned by the villanous addition of cucumbers to fresh salmon-and cutlets came to the mahogany without being surtouted in white foolscap. In Ballyporeen, it would appear that people put their trust in God and the gridiron; and although Denis Ryan admitted, that during fair-time, he had seen bigger dinners at the King's Arms, Ballinasloe, he maintained that a rasher at the Cat and Bagpipes defied all competition; and might the devil blister him, the said Denis,-"Fetch me candles; for, with the devil in rather, by the way, an unpleasant operation the next apartment I may give up all hope to impose upon his Satanic majesty,-if ever of rest."

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cy?"

By the ould lad, do you mean Mr. Clan

"No: I mane the devil himself,” returned Denis, "the very lad who'll provide a warm corner for the company, or I'm much mistaken."

there was a tenderer steak incised by a sin- Mister Ryan obeyed the order; and while ner's tooth, than what he, Denis, would under- I dressed hastily, he favored me with additake to produce, ay-and before a traveller had time to bless himself.

tional information. "The Blazers,"-as the lodge was happily intitulated,-were about In Ireland, a pleasant gentleman is a person to initiate Brother Clancy into the ancient who never goes to bed; and, selon le regle, and honorable order of Freemasons; and the the customers of Philip Corcoran were sin- terrific noises which had banished sleep were gularly agreeable. I,-Heaven forgive my connected with certain mystic rites, known ignorance!-went to bed under the expecta- only to the favored few, who were at present tion of sleeping; but "the sons of harmony," engaged in making suitable preparations for who occupied an adjacent room, sang through the reception of his Satanic majesty. Mr. the earlier portion of the night, and fought Clancy, on a former occasion, had designed

to have gone through the ordeal which now awaited him; but alarmed, (“ And small blame to him!" observed Denis, as another explosion was heard at the termination of the lobby)-at the awful sounds which preluded his entree, he fairly lost heart, slipped through a side door to the yard, mounted his horse, and hastened to his abiding-place. All rites were performed-the devil, of course, in attendance a detachment of "the free and accepted," in full paraphernalia, ready to introduce the neophyte when, lo! he was sought in vain, and the aspirant for masonic honors had vanished. Great was the indignation of "The Blazers:" much was Mr. Clancy reprobated for his want of resolution by the world at large; and even the wife of his bosom refused her smiles to the fugitive. At fair and market, polite messages were delivered to him from his friend, the devil, who hoped yet to have the honor of making his acquaintance; until, actually driven desperate, Peter resolved to make a second essay, obtain admission into the mystic temple, or perish in the attempt. Mrs. Clancy-she was one of the Blakes of Kiltycormick, and The fugitive was her loving lord. Save therefore, as everybody knew, a gentlewoman the nether portion of his habiliments, his perof pluck-had come in upon the jaunting-car son was untrammeled by linen or broadcloth, to aid, comfort, and encourage. She was a rope hung dangling from his neck,—his located at the opposite terminus of the lobby -and a half-a-dozen female friends had kindly given her their company, and the party were engaged at loo. Peter, to meet the trial like a man, had fortified himself with a fourth tumbler; but Denis lamented to say, that though the said tumbler was a stiff one, the alcohol had no effect. The candidate for masonic honors was pallid as a spectre; and Denis expressed some doubt whether, even in this second essay, the neophyte could screw his courage to the sticking-point, and come to the scratch like a brick. Before a minute passed, I also held similar dubitations on this important question.

peared behind it—and I entered my sitting. room, wishing honest Peter a safe deliver ance.

Ten minutes elapsed; and an ominous silence reigned at the further end of the corri dor. I peeped from the door; the sentry was on duty before the curtain; and I fancied that the alarm had abated, and that the old gentleman was in the best of temper with his faithful worshippers. Like the quiet of a volcano before eruption, or the calm that heralds the tornado, suddenly, the tempest burst with redoubled fury. Much noisemore sulphur-a toss-up whether it were the ceiling or the floor that was coming down; but quite evident that the devil was to pay, and unhappily, no pitch hot. My eyes unconsciously were turned towards the place from whence these demoniac sounds proceeded-the screen was dashed aside and a phantom in human form darted along the corridor, and, followed closely by half-adozen pursuers, the rout took its direction towards the apartment in which Mrs. Clancy and her loo-party were assembled.

I was repairing to the sitting-room, attended by Denis as candle-bearer, who pointed to a green curtain drawn across the passage, and the swordsman who had put me in fear and terror, keeping watch and ward in front of it. This, as he informed me, was a signal that the mystic ceremonies were about to take place, and that Mr. Clancy's ordeal was at hand. From the other end of the passage three men advanced. Two were arrayed in collars and aprons ornamented with cabalistic symbols, and escorted, rather than accompanied a little man, whose bloodless cheeks and quivering lips bespoke mortal apprehension. As the trio came down the passage, I was reminded of a deserter between a double file of the guard-the escort might be honorable; but it looked a devilish liker intended to prevent Mr. Clancy from making a second bolt. They reached the barrier-the swordbearer raised the curtain-the party disap

eyes were bloodshot, his visage pale,—and he seemed precisely like a man who had been unceremoniously introduced to "the gentleman in black." Mr. Clancy made " strong running"-distanced all pursuit-bounded into my lady's chamber-and the yell from the company within, which marked his unexpected advent, gave evidence that it is not considered quite correct for gentlemen in Adamite costume to violate the delicacy of a loo-table.

Dire was the commotion, and deep the mystery which attended the sudden entree of Peter Clancy. That the said Peter was being entrusted with those interesting secrets

"Which none but masons ever knew," was generally known; but the ladies, in happy ignorance, fancying that the inauguration of a brother was merely accompanied with some ceremony, and an uncommon quantity of whiskey-punch, had set it down, on the whole, as rather a pleasant sort of operation. That an attempt, however, had been made to hang Peter, or that Peter had attempted to hang himself, was clear as a problem. Well, if Mr. Clancy had intended to commit felo-dese, the corpse would have cut a more gentle. manly figure with the clothes on; and, therefore, why should he peel? Or, like another traveller, had he fallen among thieves, who stripped him first, and would have concealed robbery by murder? Amid these conflicting doubts, divers men in mystic accoutrements entered, and demanded the body of Peter Clancy, under pain of forfeiture of persona