There's a pasty."-"A pasty!" repeated the Jew, "I don't care if I keep a corner for 't too."

105

"What the deil mon, a pasty!" re-echo'd the Scot,
Though splitting, I'll still keep a corner for thot.” '
"We'll all keep a corner," the lady cried out;
"We'll all keep a corner," was echo'd about.
While thus we resolved, and the pasty delay'd,
With looks that quite petrified, enter'd the maid :
A visage so sad, and so pale with affright,
Wak'd Priam, in drawing his curtains by night.
But we quickly found out-for who could mistake her?-
That she came with some terrible news from the baker:
And so it fell out; for that negligent sloven
Had shut out the pasty on shutting his oven.
Sad Philomel thus-but let similes drop-
And now that I think on't, the story may stop.2

110

---

115

120

To be plain, my good Lord, it's but labour misplac'd, To send such good verses to one of your taste: You've got an odd something—a kind of discerning— A relish- -a taste-sicken'd over by learning; At least it's your temper, 'tis very well known, That you think very slightly of all that's your own : So, perhaps, in your habits of thinking amiss, You may make a mistake—and think slightly of this.*

1 The second edition has "that; " but we think "thot," as in the first edition, preferable. The four lines here ending are an amplification of two in the first edition.-ED.

2 The description of the dinner party in this poem is imitated from one of Boileau's satires. Boileau himself took the hint from Horace, Lib. ii. Sat. 8, which has also been imitated by Regnier, Sat. 10.-B.

3 From the first edition. The second has "

as."-ED.

Robert Nugent, created Viscount Clare in 1766, was a man of parts and also a merry companion. He published poems anonymously, through Dodsley. He and Goldsmith seem to have been fast friends: see Life,' p. 24, &c., v. i.—ED.

RETALIATION:

A POEM.

INCLUDING EPITAPHS ON THE MOST DISTINGUISHED WITS OF THIS METROPOLIS.

[First published April 18, 1774, just a fortnight after the author's death. Several editions were published in the same year, the second being corrected, with explanatory notes and observations." To the fourth (or,? fifth) the "Postscript" was added. In 1777, Kearsley, the publisher who had issued all the preceding editions, issued an eighth edition. Evans gives the following account of the origin of the poem :"Dr. Goldsmith and some of his friends occasionally dined at the St. James's Coffee-house. One day, it was proposed to write epitaphs on him. His country, dialect, and person furnished subjects of witticism. He was called on for Retaliation,' and at their next meeting produced the following poem."—Introduction to the poem, 'Poems and Plays,' 1786. Other and somewhat contradictory accounts are given by Cumberland and others. The late Mr. Peter Cunningham added to these by being the first to print (in his edition of Goldsmith's Works, 4 vols. 8vo., 1854) Garrick's account, from a MS. found amongst that famous actor's papers and lent to Mr. Cunningham by the late Mr. George Daniel of Canonbury House, Islington. We are indebted to Mr. Cunningham's edition for the following extract from the Garrick MS., which is signed "D. Garrick."-" At a meeting of a company of gentlemen, who were well known to each other, diverting themselves, among many other things, with the peculiar oddities of Dr. Goldsmith, who never would allow a superior in any art, from writing poetry down to dancing a hornpipe, the Doctor, with great eagerness, insisted upon trying his epigrammatic powers with Mr. Garrick, and each of them was to write the other's epitaph. Mr. Garrick immediately said that his epitaph was finished, and he spoke the following distich extempore :—

'Here lies Nolly Goldsmith, for shortness call'd Noll,
Who wrote like an angel, but talk'd like poor Poll.'

Goldsmith, upon the company's laughing very heartily, grew very thoughtful, and either would not, or could not, write anything at that time: however, he went to work, and some weeks after he produced the

following printed poem called 'Retaliation,' which has been much admired, and gone through several editions."1-ED.]

Or old, when Scarron his companions invited,

Each guest brought his dish, and the feast was united;
If our landlord2 supplies us with beef and with fish,
Let each guest bring himself-and he brings the best dish:
Our Dean shall be venison, just fresh from the plains; 5
Our Burke* shall be tongue, with a garnish of brains;
Our Will shall be wild-fowl, of excellent flavour,
And Dick with his pepper shall heighten the savour.
Our Cumberland's sweetbread its place shall obtain ;
And Douglas is pudding, substantial and plain;
Our Garrick's' a salad, for in him we see

6

8

10

1 Garrick's epitaph, no doubt the chief, though not the sole, provocation of Retaliation' had been hitherto given (by Dr. M'Donnell):— "Here lies Poet Goldsmith, for shortness call'd Noll, Who wrote like an angel, but talk'd like poor Poll.”

and by another

"Here lies poor Goldsmith, &c.

Who wrote like Apollo, &c."-Ed.

2 The master of the St. James's Coffee-house, where the Doctor, and the friends he has characterized in this poem occasionally dined. [The foot-notes here given with Retaliation, are mostly founded upon those given with the revised editions of the poem (two to eight, 1774 to 1777). Those notes were of course not by Goldsmith, who left even the text of his poem unfinished, and, no doubt, in more ways than one unlike what it would have been had he himself given it out for publication. Mitford asks, "Why is there no portrait of Johnson in Retaliation?' was it affection or fear that withheld the poet's hand?" Had Goldsmith ever completed his poem, no doubt Johnson and others would have had their places. "Affection" did not exclude Reynolds; neither did "fear" deter from the inclusion of Burke.-ED.]

3 Dr. Barnard, Dean of Derry [afterwards successively Bishop of Killaloe and Limerick].

4 The Rt. Hon. Edmund Burke.

5 Mr. William Burke, a kinsman of Edmund, formerly secretary to General Conway, and member for Bedwin.

Mr. Richard Burke, younger brother of Edmund. He held a post in Spain at this time.

7 Mr. Richard Cumberland, author of 'The West Indian,' 'The Jew,' and other dramatic works.

Dr. John Douglas, Canon of Windsor, and afterwards Bishop of Salisbury, was himself a native of Scotland, and obtained considerable reputation by his detection of the forgeries of his countrymen, Lauder and Bower. Vide post, notes.-B.

9 David Garrick, actor, and manager of Drury Lane Theatre.

3

Oil, vinegar, sugar, and saltness agree:
To make out the dinner, full certain I am,
That Ridge is anchovy, and Reynolds 2 is lamb;
That Hickey's3 a capon; and, by the same rule,
Magnanimous Goldsmith a gooseberry fool.
At a dinner so various-at such a repast,
Who'd not be a glutton, and stick to the last?
Here, waiter, more wine! let me sit while I'm able,
Till all my companions sink under the table;
Then, with chaos and blunders encircling my head,
Let me ponder, and tell what I think of the dead.

Here lies the good Dean, reunited to earth,

15

20

25

Who mixt reason with pleasure, and wisdom with mirth :
If he had any faults, he has left us in doubt,
At least, in six weeks, I could not find 'em out;
Yet some have declar'd, and it can't be denied 'em,
That sly-boots was cursedly cunning to hide 'em.

30

35

Here lies our good Edmund, whose genius was such,
We scarcely can praise it or blame it too much;
Who, born for the universe, narrow'd his mind,
And to party gave up what was meant for mankind :
Though fraught with all learning, yet straining his throat,
To persuade Tommy Townshend to lend him a vote;
Who, too deep for his hearers, still went on refining,
And thought of convincing, while they thought of dining:5
Though equal to all things, for all things unfit;
Too nice for a statesman, too proud for a wit;
For a patriot, too cool; for a drudge, disobedient;
And too fond of the right to pursue the expedient.
In short, 'twas his fate, unemploy'd or in place, sir,
To eat mutton cold, and cut blocks with a razor.

1 Counsellor John Ridge, a gentleman belonging to the Irish bar.
2 Sir Joshua Reynolds.
3 An eminent attorney.

40

4 Mr. T. Townshend, member for Whitchurch, afterwards Lord Sydney.

Mr. Burke's speeches in Parliament, though distinguished by all the characteristic force of reasoning and eloquence of their highly gifted author, were not always listened to with patience by his brother members, who not unfrequently took the opportunity of retiring to dinner when he rose to speak. To this circumstance, which procured for the orator the sobriquet of the Dinner Bell, the poet here alludes.-B.

Here lies honest William, whose heart was a mint,

While the owner ne'er knew half the good that was in't;

The pupil of impulse, it forced him along,

45

His conduct still right, with his argument wrong;

Still aiming at honour, yet fearing to roam,

The coachman was tipsy, the chariot drove home:
Would you ask for his merits? alas! he had none;
What was good was spontaneous, his faults were his own.

49

Here lies honest Richard, whose fate I must sigh at;
Alas, that such frolic should now be so quiet!
What spirits were his! what wit and what whim!
Now breaking a jest, and now breaking a limb!1
Now wrangling and grumbling to keep up the ball,
Now teasing and vexing, yet laughing at all!
In short, so provoking a devil was Dick,

That we wish'd him full ten times a-day at Old Nick ;
But missing his mirth and agreeable vein,
As often we wish'd to have Dick back again.

55

60

Here Cumberland lies, having acted his parts, The Terence of England, the mender of hearts; A flattering painter, who made it his care

To draw men as they ought to be, not as they are.

His gallants are all faultless, his women divine,

65

And Comedy wonders at being so fine;

Like a tragedy queen he has dizen'd her out,
Or rather like Tragedy giving a rout.

His fools have their follies so lost in a crowd
Of virtues and feelings, that folly grows proud;
And coxcombs, alike in their failings alone,
Adopting his portraits, are pleased with their own.
Say, where has our poet this malady caught,
Or wherefore his characters thus without fault?
Say, was it, that vainly directing his view

70

75

To find out men's virtues, and finding them few,
Quite sick of pursuing each troublesome elf,
He grew lazy at last, and drew from himself ??

1 Mr. Richard Burke having slightly fractured an arm and a leg at different times, the Doctor has rallied him on these accidents, as a kind

of retributive justice, for breaking his jests upon other people.

2 Mrs. Piozzi says this portrait of Cumberland is ironical.-ED.