• a Club of the Persons whose Conversations I have de• scribed, who for their own private, as also the publick • Emolument, should exclude, and be excluded all other

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Society. Their Attire should be the same with their 'Huntsmens, and none should be admitted into this green Conversation-Piece, except he had broke his Collar. 'bone thrice. A broken Rib or two might also admit a Man without the least Opposition. The President must ' necessarily have broken his Neck, and have been ta'ken up dead once or twice: For the more Maims this • Brotherhood should have met with, the easier will their • Conversation flow and keep up; and when any one of ' these vigorous Invalids had finished his Narration of • the Collar-bone, this naturally would introduce the History of the Ribs. Besides, the different Circum• stances of their Falls and Fractures would help to prolong and diverfify their Relations. There should al* so be another Club of such Men, who have not fuc⚫ ceeded so well in maiming themselves, but are however in the constant Pursuit of these Accomplishments. • I would by no Méans be suspected by what I have faid ⚫ to traduce in general the Body of Fox-hunters; for ' whilft I look upon a reasonable Creature full speed af'ter a Pack of Dogs, by way of Pleasure, and not of • Business, I shall always make honourable Mention of it.

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But the most irksome Conversation of all others I ' have met with in the Neighbourhood, has been among two or three of your Travellers, who have overlooked ' Men and Manners, and have passed thro' France and Italy with the same Observation that the Carriers and Stage-Coachmen do through Great-Britain; that is, ' their Stops and Stages have been regulated according to ' the Liquor they have met with in their Passage. They • indeed remember the Names of abundance of Places, ' with the particular Fineries of certain Churches: But ' their distinguishing Mark is certain Prettinesses of Foreign Languages, the Meaning of which they could have • better express'd in their own. The Entertainment of these fine Observers, Shakespear has described to confift

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• In talking of the Alps and Appennines, The Pyrenean, and the River Po.

• And

And then concludes with a Sigh,

• Now this is worshipful Society!

I WOULD not be thought in all this to hate such honest Creatures as Dogs; I am only unhappy that I • cannot partake in their Diversions. But I love them fo • well, as Dogs, that I often go with my Pockets stuffed • with Bread to dispense my Favours, or make my Way through them at Neighbours Houses. There is in parti• cular a young Hound of great Expectation, Vivacity, ⚫ and Enterprize, that attends my Flights where-ever he • spies me. This creature observes my Countenance, and • behaves himself accordingly. His Mirth, his Frolick, • and Joy upon the Sight of me has been observed, and I ' have been gravely defired not to encourage him so much, • for it spoils his Parts; but I think he shews them fufficiently in the several Boundings, Friskings, and Scourings, when he makes his Court to me: But I foresee ⚫ in a little Time he and I must keep Company with ⚫ one another only, for we are fit for no other in these • Parts. Having inform'd you how I do pass my Time ' in the Country where I am, I must proceed to tell you ' how I would pass it, had I such a Fortune as would put me above the Observance of Ceremony and Custom. • MY Scheme of a Country Life then should be as follows. As I am happy in three or four very agreeable • Friends, these I would constantly have with me; and the • Freedom we took with one another at School and the • University we would maintain and exert upon all Occa'sions with great Courage: There should be certain • Hours of the Day to be imployed in Reading, during • which Time it should be impossible for any one of us to enter the other's Chamber, unless by Storm. After this we would communicate the Trash or Treasure we had met with, with our own Reflections upon the Matter, • the Justness of which we would controvert with good• humour'd Warmth, and never spare one another out of 'that complaisant Spirit of Conversation, which makes others affirm and deny the same Matter in a quarter of an Hour. If any of the neighbouring Gentlemen, 'not of our Turn, should take it in their Heads to visit me, I should look upon these Persons in the fame De

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gree Enemies to my particular State of Happiness, as ' ever the French were to that of the Publick, and I would • be at an annual Expence in Spies to observe their Mo⚫tions. Whenever I should be surprized with a Vifit, • as I hate Drinking, I would be brisk in swelling Bum

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pers, upon this Maxim, That it is better to trouble o'thers with my Impertinence, than to be troubled my ' self with theirs. The Neceffity of an Infirmary makes me resolve to fall into that Project; and as we should be but five, the Terrors of an involuntary Separation, which our Number cannot so well admitof, would make us ex'ert our selves, in opposition to all the Particulars mention• ed in your Institution of that equitable Confinement.

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This my Way of Life I know would subject me to the • Imputation of a morose, covetous and fingular Fellow. These and all other hard Words, with all manner of infipid Jests, and all other Reproach, would be Matter of Mirth to me and my Friends: Besides, I would destroy the Application of the Epithets Morose and Covetous, by a yearly Relief of my undeservedly necef' fitous Neighbours, and by treating my Friends and Do' mesticks with an Humanity that should express the Obligation to lie rather on my Side; and as for the Word fingular, I was always of Opinion every Man must be 'so, to be what one would defire him.

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Mr. SPECTATOR,

A

Your very humble Servant.

J. R.

BOUT two years ago I was called upon by the younger Part of a Country Family, by my Mo'ther's Side related to me, to visit Mr. Campbell, the ' dumb Man; for they told me that that was chiefly what • brought them to Town, having heard Wonders of him ' in Effex. I, who always wanted Faith in Matters of ' that Kind, was not easily prevailed on to go; but left they should take it ill, I went with them; when to iny Surprize, Mr. Campbell related all their past Life, (in 'short had he not been prevented, such a Difcovery ' would have come out, as would have ruined the rext

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Design of their coming to Town, viz. buying Wedding

Cloaths.)

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Cloaths.) Our Names though he never heard of us *before and we endeavoured to conceal were as familiar to him as ourselves. To be fure Mr. SPEC TATOR, he is a very learned and wife Man. Being impatient to know my Fortune, having paid my Refpects in a Family-Jacobus, he told me (after his man-*ner) among several other Things, that in a Year and nine Months I should fall ill of a new Fever, be given: over by my Physicians, but should with much Difficulty recover: That the first Time I took the Air af-terwards, I should be address'd to by a young Gentle-" man of a plentiful Fortune, good Sense, and a gene-rous Spirit. Mr. SPECTATOR, he is the purest Man in the World, for all he said is come to pass, and I am ** the happiest she in Kent. I have been in quest of Mr.. • Campbell these three Months, and cannot find him out. • Now hearing you are a dumb Man too, I thought you: ⚫ might correspond, and be able to tell me something;;

for I think my self highly oblig'd to make his Fortune, * as he has mine. 'Tis very possible your Worship, who has Spies all over this Town, can inform me how to *send to him: If you can, I beseech you, be as speedy. **as possible, and you will highly oblige =

Your constant Reader and Admirer,

Dulcibella Thankley.

ORDERED, that the Inspector I employ about Wonders, enquire at the Golden-Lion, opposite to the Half-Moon Tavern in Drury-Lane, into the Merit of this filent Sage, and report accordingly,

T

Thursday,

88

No.475. Thursday, September 4.

-Quæ res in se neque confilium neque modum:
Habet ullum, eam confilio regere non potes..

IT

Ter..

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T is an old Obfervation, which has been made of Poli-ticians who would rather ingratiate themselves with their Sovereign, than promote his real Service, that they accommodate their Counsels to his Inclinations, and. advise him to such Actions only as his Heart is naturally fet upon. The Privy-Counsellor of one in Love must ob-serve the same Conduct, unless he would forfeit the Friend-fhip of the Person who defires his Advice. I have known. several odd Cafes of this Nature. Hipparchus was going to marry a common Woman, but being refolved to do no-thing without the Advice of his Friend Philander, he con--sulted him upon the Occasion. Philander told him his Mind freely, and represented his Mistress to him in such strong Colours, that the next Morning he received a Challenge for his pains, and before twelve a Clock was run through the Body by the Man who had asked his Advice. Celia was more prudent on thelike Occasion; she defired Leonilla to give her Opinion freely upon a young Fellow who made his Addresses to her. Leonilla, to oblige her, told her with great Frankness, that she looked upon him as one of the most worthless Celia, foreseeing what a Character she was to expect, begged her not to go on, for that she had been privately married to him above a Fortnight. The Truth of it is, a Woman seldom asks Ad.. vice before she has bought her Wedding-Cloaths. When she has made her own Choice, for Form's Sake she sends a Conge d'elire to her Friends.

If we look into the secret Springs, and Motives that set People at work on these Occafions, and put them upon asking Advice, which they never intend to take; I look upon it to be none of the least, that they are incapable of keeping a Secret which is so very pleasing to them. A Girl longs