• mentioned in the Poftman, and invented by the re⚫nowned British Hippocrates of the peftle and mortar; making the party, after a due courfe, rofy, hale, and airy; and the best and most approved • receipt now extant for the fever of the fpirits. But to return to our female candidate, who I under• ftand is returned to herself, and will no longer

hang out falfe colours; as he is the first of her • fex that has done us fo great an honour, fhe will certainly, in a very short time, both in prose and verfe, be a Lady of the moft celebrated deformity now living; and meet with admirers here as frightful as herfelf. But, being a long-headed gentle. ་ woman, I am apt to imagine fhe has fome farther ' defign than you have yet penetrated; and perhaps has more mind to the SPECTATOR than any of his fraternity, as the perfon of all the world the could like for a paramour: and, if fo, really I ⚫ cannot but applaud her choice; and fhould be glad if it might lie in my power, to affect an amicable • accommodation betwixt two faces of fuch different extremes, as the only poffible expedient to mend the breed, and rectify the phyfiognomy of the fa⚫mily on both sides. And again, as fhe is a Lady of a very fluent elocution, you need not fear that your firft child will be born dumb, which other. wife you might have fome reason to be appre⚫henfive of. To be plain with you, I can fee no. thing fhocking in it; for though she has not a face like a John-Apple, yet, as a late friend of mine, who at fixty-five ventured on a lafs of fifteen, very frequently, in the remaining five years of his life, gave me to understand, That, as old as he then feemed, when they were first married he and his spouse could make but fourfcore; fo may Madam Hecatiffa very juftly alledge hereafter, That, as long-vifaged as the may then be thought, upon ⚫ their wedding-day Mr. SPECTATOR and the had • but half an ell of face betwixt them: and this my C very

very worthy predeceffor, Mr. Serjeant Chin, alway • maintained to be no more than the true oval pro'portion between man and wife. But as this may be a new thing to you, who have hitherto had no ' expectations from women, I fhall allow you what • time you think fit to confider on it; not without • fome hope of seeing at last your thoughts hereupon fubjoined to mine, and which is an honour • much defired by,

SIR, your affured friend,

and moft humble fervant,

HUGH GOBLING, Præfes.'

The following letter has not much in it, but, as it is written in my own praife, I cannot from my heart fupprefs it.

SIR,

You propofed, in your SPECTATOR of laft Tuesday, Mr. Hobb's hypothefis for folving that very odd phænomenon of laughter. You have made the hypothefis valuable by espousing it yourfelf; for, had it continued Mr. Hobb's, no body would have minded it. Now here this perplexed cafe arifes. A certain company laughed very heartily upon the reading of that very paper of yours: and the truth of it is, he muft be a man of more than ordinary conftancy that could ftand it out against so much comedy, and not do as we did. Now there are few men in the world fo far loft to all good fenfe, as to look upon you to be a man in a fate of folly inferior to himself. Pray then how do you justify your hypothefis of laughter?

Thursday the 26th of

the month of fools.

SIR,

Your most humble,

Q. R.

In answer to your letter, I must defce you to recollect yourself; and you will find, that

‹ when

when you did me the honour to be fo merry over my paper, you laughed at the idiot, the German courtier, the gaper, the merry-andrew, the haberdafher, the biter, the butt, and not at

Your humble fervant,

• The SPECTATOR.?

No. 53.

TUESDAY, MAY I.

Aliquando bonus dormitat Homerus.

HOR. Ars Poet. ver. 359.

Homer himself hath been obferv'd to nod.

M

ROSCONMON.

Y correfpondents grow fo numerous, that I cannot avoid frequently inferting their applications to me.

Mr. SPECTATOR,

I am glad I can inform you, that your endeavours to adorn that fex, which is the fairest

" part of the visible creation, are well received, and like to prove not unfuccefsful. The triumph of • Daphne over her fifter Lætitia has been the subject of converfation at feveral tea-tables where I have been prefent; and I have obferved the fair circle not a little pleafed to find you confidering them as reasonable creatures, and endeavouring to banish that Mahometan custom, which had too much prevailed even in this ifland, of treating women as if they had no fouls. I muft do them the juftice to fay, that there feems to be nothing wanting to the finishing of thefe lovely pieces of human nature, befides the turning and applying their ambition properly, and the keeping them up to a fenfe of what is their true merit. Epictetus, that plain honeft philofopher, as little as he had of gallantry, appears to have understood them, as

• well

well as the polite St. Evremont, and has hit this point very luckily. When young women, fays he, • arrive at a certain age, they hear themselves called • Miftreffes, and are made to believe that their only bufinefs is to please the men; they immediately be. ⚫gin to drefs, and place all their hopes in the adorning of their perfons; it is therefore, continues he, worth the while to endeavour by all means to make them fenfible, that the honour paid to them is only • upon account of their conducting themselves with virtue, modesty, and difcretion.

Now, to pursue the matter yet farther, and to • render your cares for the improvement of the fair ones more effectual, I would propose a new method, like thofe applications which are faid to convey their virtue by fympathy; and that is, that in order to embellith the miftrefs, you should give a new education to the lover, and teach the men not to be any longer dazzled by falfe charms and • unreal beauty. I cannot but think that if our sex knew always how to place their esteem justly, the other would not be fo often wanting to themselves in deferving it. For as the being enamoured with a woman of sense and virtue is an improvement to a man's understanding and morals, and the paffion is ennobled by the objects which infpires it; fo, on the other fide, the appearing amiable to a • man of a wife and elegant mind, carries in itself no fmall degree of merit and accomplishment. I conclude, therefore, that one way to make the women yet more agreeable is, to make the men more ⚫ virtuous. I am, SIR,

Your most humble fervant, ‹ R. B.'

SIR,

April 26.

圈

Yours of Saturday last I read, not without fome refentment; but I will fuppofe when you say you expect an inundation of ribbons and brocades, and VOL. I.

U

to

to fee many new vanities which the women will • fall into upon a peace with France, that you intend only the unthinking part of our fex; and what methods can reduce them to reason is hard to imagine.

But, Sir, there are others yet that your inftructions might be of great use to, who, after their • best endeavours, are fometimes at a loss to acquit ⚫ themselves to a cenforious world: I am far from thinking you can altogether difapprove of converfation between Ladies and Gentlemen, regulated by the rules of honour and prudence; and have thought it an obfervation not ill made, that where that was wholly denied, the women loft their wit, ⚫ and the men their good-manners. It is fure, from thofe improper liberties you mentioned, that a fort of undiftinguishing people fhall banish from their drawing-rooms the beft-bred men in the world, and condemn thofe that do not. Your ftating this point might, I think, be of good ufe, as well 1. as much oblige,

SIR, Your admirer, and

moft humble fervant,

ANNA BELLA.'

No anfwer to this, until Anna Bella fend a defcription of those the calls the best-bred men in the world.

< Mr. SPECTATOR,

‹ I am a Gentleman who for many years laft paft have been well known to be truly fplenetic, and that my fpleen arifes from having contracted fo great a delicacy, by reading the beft authors, and • keeping the moft refined company, that I cannot bear the leaft impropriety of language, or rufticity of behaviour. Now, Sir, I have ever looked upon this as a wife diftemper: but by late obfervations find that every heavy wretch, who has nothing to fay, excufes his dulnefs by complaining.