with a merry face, whom they so long beheld with hatred and derision. To keep neither him nor the world longer in suspense, know ye, that I will take him home to myself, and after a little of my tutoring, not a turn in his intellects, expression, or action, (which now are subject of satire,) that shall not soon become matter of high panegyric. O ye dogs you, I will set him. over all your heads! I will advance him to a place of performance, which he was born for, and which, (however he thought of it all the while,) he was not ill bred to; and there he is sure to meet with the honour and applause he might in vain expect on any other stage. As for your part, little pert whipper-snapper Faulkner, is it base fear, or it is insufferable vanity in you, to talk of correction from the hands of my brother? Had you been anything above the sorry remnant of a man, you might perhaps come in for the honour of a gentle drubbing; but a little rascal, that has already one leg in the grave, what satisfaction or credit would it be to him to beat thee abominably, or even slay thee outright? No, but, sirha, if our brother Doctor Anthony† were alive,-rot you, in spite of your rascally Keven-bail, and your scribbling janissaries, he should set up his wheel * Faulkner had but one leg. +A whimsical kind of man, who had abundance of low humour, and frequently used to entertain the schoolboys and populace with his harangues and pleasantry, mounted upon a ladder in some corner of a street. He died about eight or ten years before the date of this letter.-F. Keven-Bayl was a cant name for the mob of the Liberty of St. Patrick. The interest which they took in the Dean's behalf on occasion of Serjeant Bettesworth's threats of personal violence, is expressed in the verses, entitled "The Yahoo's overthrow, or the Kevan-Bayl's new Ballad upon Serjeant Kite's insulting the Dean." just before your door, and on his pole, thrust up your fundament, he should twirl you about till your brains tumbled down into the hollow of your wooden shin bone, and till all the bones in your skin rattled and snapped like pipestoppers in a bladder. Take that from your sworn and mortal enemy, PICKLE-HERRING. FROM DR. ARBUTHNOT. Hampstead, Oct. 4, 1734. MY DEAR AND WORTHY FRIEND, You have no reason to put me among the rest of your forgetful friends; for I wrote two long letters to you, to which I never received one word of answer. The first was about your health; the last I sent a great while ago, by one De la Mar. I can assure you, with great truth, that none of your friends or acquaintance has a more warm heart toward you than myself. I am going out of this troublesome world; and you, among the rest of my friends, shall have my last prayers, and good wishes. I The young man whom you recommended, came to this place, and I promised to do him what service my ill state of health would permit. I came out to this place so reduced by a dropsy and an asthma, that I could neither sleep, breathe, eat, or move. most earnestly desired and begged of God, that he would take me. Contrary to my expectation, upon venturing to ride (which I had forborne for some years, because of bloody water) I recovered my strength to a pretty considerable degree, slept, and had my stomach again; but I expect the return of Not my symptoms, upon my return to London, and the return of the winter. I am not in circumstances to live an idle country life; and no man, at my age, ever recovered of such a disease, farther than by an abatement of the symptoms. What I did, I can assure you, was not for life, but ease. For I am, at present, in the case of a man that was almost in harbour, and then blown back to sea; who has a reasonable hope of going to a good place, and an absolute certainty of leaving a very bad one. that I have any particular disgust at the world; for I have as great comfort in my own family, and from the kindness of my friends, as any man; but the world, in the main, displeases me; and I have too true a presentiment of calamities that are likely to befall my country. However, if I should have the happiness to see you before I die, you will find that I enjoy the comforts of life with my usual cheerfulness. I cannot imagine why you are frighted from a journey to England. The reasons you assign are not sufficient; the journey, I am sure, would do you good. In general, I recommend riding, of which I have always had a good opinion, and can now confirm it from my own experience. The My family give you their love and service. great loss I sustained in one of them, gave me my first shock; and the trouble I have with the rest, to bring them to a right temper, to bear the loss of a father, who loves them, and whom they love, is really a most sensible affliction to me. I am afraid, my dear friend, we shall never see one another more in this world. I shall, to the last moment,* preserve my love and esteem for you, being well assured you will never leave the paths of virtue and honour; for all that is in this world is not worth the least devia * Dr. Arbuthnot died in March, 1734-5.-H. tion from that way. It will be great pleasure to me to hear from you sometimes; for none can be with more sincerity than I am, my dear friend, your most faithful friend, and humble servant, Jo. ARBUTHNOT. FROM SIR WILLIAM FOWNES.* SIR, From my Observatory in the Parliament THERE are a sort of gentlemen, who, after great labour and cost, have at last found out, that two dishes of meat will not cost half so much as five or six, and yet answer the end of filling the bellies of as many as usually fed upon the five or six. I have considered that a like sort of reduction in other articles, may have the like proportion of good effect; as for instance, when any one bespeaks a pair of shoes, a pair of stockings, or a pair of gloves, they should bespeak a pair and a half of each, and make use of these turn about: I am very confident they will answer the end of two pair; by which good management a quarter part of the expense in those articles may be saved. Perhaps it may be objected, that this is a spoiling of trade; to which I answer, that when the makers of those sorts of ware shall reduce their rates a quarter part, (instead of enhancing them, as has been done in some late years unreasonably,) and now ought to be reduced according to the rates of wool and leather; Indorsed, "A humorous project."—D. S. Then it may be reasonable to bespeak two pair instead of a pair and a half. Another objection may be started as to gloves, with a query, Which of the hands shall be obliged with two gloves? To this I answer, That generally the left hand is used but seldom, and not exposed as the other to many offices; one of which in particular is the handling of ladies. For these reasons, two gloves ought to be granted to the right hand. There are many other frugal improvements, which, as soon as I have discoursed Thomas Turner the quaker, who is now upon finding out the longitude, and farther improving the latitude, I shall be able to demonstrate what sort of meat, and the joints, will best answer this frugal scheme, as likewise in clothing, and other parts of good economy; and they shall be communicated to you by, Sir, your most humble servant, PHILO ME. TO MR. POPE. November 1, 1734. I HAVE yours with my Lord Bolingbroke's postscript of September 15; it was long on its way, and for some weeks after the date I was very ill with my two inveterate disorders, giddiness and deafness. The latter is pretty well off, but the other makes me totter towards evenings, and much dispirits me. But I continue to ride and walk, both of which, although they be no cures, are at least amusements. I did never imagine you to be either inconstant, or to want right notions of friendship, but I appre |