and I proceeded in the utmost torture. This misfortune I owed to the plumpness of my constitution, which I cursed, and envied the withered condition of my comrades, whose bodies could not spare juice enough to supply a common issue, and were indeed proof against all manner of friction. The continual pain I felt made me fretful, and my peevishness was increased by the mortification of my pride, in seeing those miserable wretches, whom a hard gale of wind would have scattered through the air like chaff, bear those toils with alacrity, under which I was ready to sink. their meagre gaunt looks, their squalid and ragged attire, and every other external symptom of extreme woe, with this appearance of festivity. I saluted them, however, and was received with great politeness; after which they formed a ring, and danced around me. This jollity had a wonderful effect upon my spirits: I was infected with their gaiety, and, in spite of my dismal situation, forgot my cares, and joined in their extravagance. When we had recreated ourselves a good while at this diversion, the ladies spread their manteaus on the ground, upon which they emptied their knapsacks of some onions, coarse bread, and a few flasks of poor wine. One day, while we enjoyed a halt, and the Being invited to a share of the banquet, I sat soldiers with their wives had gone out to down with the rest, and in the whole course dance, according to custom, my comrade of my life never made a more comfortable staid at home with me on pretence of friendmeal. When our repast was ended, we got ship, and insulted me with his pity and conup again to dance; and now that I found solation. He told me, though I was young myself refreshed, I behaved to the admiration and tender at present, I would soon be of every body. I was loaded with a thousand seasoned to the service; and he did not compliments and professions of friendship. doubt but I should have the honour to conThe men commended my person and agility, tribute in some measure to the glory of the and the women were loud in praise of my king. "Have courage, therefore, my child," bonne grace: the serjeant, in particular, said he, "and pray to God, that you may be expressed so much regard for me, and de- as happy as I am, who have had the honour scribed the pleasures of a soldier's life with of serving Lewis the Great, and of receiving so much art, that I began to listen to his many wounds in helping to establish his proposal of enlisting me in the service; and glory." When I looked upon the contemptithe more I considered my own condition, ble object that pronounced these words, I the more I was convinced of the necessity I was amazed at the infatuation that possessed was under to come to a speedy determination. | him; and could not help expressing my Having therefore maturely weighed the circumstances pro and con, I signified my consent, and was admitted into the regiment of Picardy, said to be the oldest corps in Europe. The company to which this command belonged was quartered at a village not far off, whither we marched next day, and I was presented to my captain, who seemed very well pleased with my appearance, gave me a crown to drink, and ordered me to be accommodated with clothes, arms, and accoutrements. Then I sold my livery suit, purchased linen, and, as I was at great pains to learn the exercise, in a very short time became a complete soldier. It was not long before we received orders to join several more regiments, and march with all expedition into Germany, in order to reinforce Mareschal duc de Noailles, who was then encamped with his army on the side of the river Mayne, to watch the motions of the English, Hanoverians, Austrians, and Hessians, under the command of the Earl of Stair. We began our march accordingly, and then I became acquainted with that part of a soldier's life to which I had been hitherto a stranger. It is impossible to describe the hunger and thirst I sustained, and the fatigue I underwent in a march of so many hundred miles; during which I was so much chafed with the heat and motion of my limbs, that in a very short time the inside of my thighs and legs were deprived of skin, astonishment at the absurdity of a rational being, who thinks himself highly honoured in being permitted to encounter abject poverty, oppression, famine, disease, mutilation, and evident death, merely to gratify the vicious ambition of a prince, by whom his sufferings were disregarded, and his name utterly unknown. I observed, that, if his situation was the consequence of compulsion, I would praise his patience and fortitude in bearing his lot; if he had taken up arms in defence of his injured country, he was to be applauded for his patriotism; or, if he had fled to this way of life as a refuge from a greater evil, he was justifiable in his own conscience (though I could have no notion of misery more extreme than that he suffered); but to put his condition on the footing of conducing to the glory of his prince, was no more than professing himself a desperate slave, who voluntarily underwent the utmost wretchedness and peril, and committed the most flagrant crimes, to soothe the barbarous pride of a fellow-creature, his superior in nothing but the power he derived from the submission of such wretches as him. The soldier was very much affronted at the liberty I took with his king, which he said nothing but my ignorance could excuse. He affirmed, that the characters of princes were sacred, and ought not to be profaned by the censure of their subjects, who were bound by their allegiance to obey their com mands, of what nature soever, without | scruple or repining; and advised me to correct the rebellious principles I had imbibed among the English, who, for their insolence to their kings, were notorious all over the world, even to a proverb. In vindication of my countrymen, I repeated all the arguments commonly used to prove that every man has a natural right to liberty; that allegiance and protection are reciprocal; that, when the mutual tie is broken by the tyranny of the king, he is accountable to the people for his breach of contract, and subject to the penalty of the law; and that those insurrections of the English, which are branded with the name of rebellion by the slaves of arbitrary power, were no other than glorious efforts to rescue that independence, which was their birthright, from the ravenous claws of usurping ambition. The Frenchman, provoked at the little deference I paid to the kingly name, lost all patience, and reproached me in such a manner, that my temper forsook me, and I clenched my fist, with an intention to give him a hearty box on the ear. Perceiving my design, he started back, and demanded a parley; upon which I checked my indignation, and he gave me to understand that a Frenchman never forgave a blow; therefore, if I was not weary of my life, I would do well to spare him that mortification, and do him the honour of measuring my sword with his, like a gentleman. I took his advice, and followed him to a field hard by, where indeed I was ashamed at the pitiful figure of my antagonist, who was a poor, little, shivering creature, decrepid with age, and blind of one eye. But I soon found the folly of judging from appearances, being at the second pass wounded in the sword hand, and immediately disarmed with such a jerk, that I thought the joint was dislocated. I was no less confounded than enraged at this event, especially as my adversary did not bear his success with all the moderation that might have been expected; for he insisted upon my asking pardon for affronting his king and him. This proposal I would by no means comply with, but told him it was a mean condescension, which no gentleman in his circumstances ought to propose, nor any in my situation ought to perform; and that, if he persisted in his ungenerous demand, I would in my turn claim satisfaction with my musket, when we should be more upon a par than with the sword, of which he seemed so much master. CHAPTER XLIV. In order to be revenged, I learn the science of defence-we join the Mareschal duc de Noailles-are engaged with the allies at Dettingen, and put to flight-the behaviour of the French soldiers on that occasion-I industriously seek another combat with the old Gascon, and vanquish him in my turn-our regiment is put into winter-quarters at Rheims, where I find my friend Strap-our recognition-he supplies me with money, and procures my discharge-we take a trip to Paris; from whence, by the way of Flanders, we set out for London, where we safely arrive. He was disconcerted at this declaration, to which he made no reply, but repaired to the dancers, among whom he recounted his victory, with many exaggerations and gasconades, while I, taking up my sword, went to my quarters, and examined my wound, which I found was of no consequence. The same day, an Irish drummer, having heard of my misfortune, visited me, and, after having condoled me on the chance of war, gave me to understand, that he was master of the sword, and would, in a very short time, instruct me so thoroughly in that noble science, that I should be able to chastise the old Gascon for his insolent boasting at my expense. This friendly office he proffered, on pretence of the regard he had for his countryman; but I afterwards learned the true motive was no other than a jealousy he entertained of a correspondence between the Frenchman and his wife, which he did not think proper to resent in person. Be this as it will, I accepted his offer, and practised his lessons with such application, that I soon believed myself a match for my conqueror. In the mean time, we continued our march, and arrived at the camp of Mareschal Noailles, the night before the battle of Dettingen. Notwithstanding the fatigue we had undergone, our regiment was one of those that were ordered next day to cross the river, under the command of the Duc de Gramont, to take possession of a narrow defile, through which the allies must of necessity have passed at a great disadvantage, or remain where they were, and perish for want of provision, if they would not condescend to surrender at discretion. How they suffered themselves to be pent up in this manner, it is not my province to relate: I shall only observe, that, when we had taken possession of our ground, I heard an old officer, in conversation with another, express a surprise at the conduct of Lord Stair, who had the reputation of a good general. But it seems, at this time, that nobleman was overruled, and only acted in an inferior character; so that no part of the blame could be imputed to him, who declared his disapprobation of the step, in consequence of which the whole army was in the utmost danger; but providence or destiny acted miracles in their behalf, by disposing the Duc de Gramont to quit his advantageous post, pass the defile, and attack the English, who were drawn up in order of battle on the plain, and who handled us so roughly, that, after having lost a great number of men, we turned our backs without ceremony, and fled with such precipitation, that many hundreds perished in the river, through pure fear and confusion; for the enemy was so generous, that they did not pursue us one inch of ground; and if our consternation would have permitted, we night have retreated with great order and deliberation. But, notwithstanding the royal clemency of the king of Great Britain, who headed the allies in person, and, no doubt, put a stop to the carnage, our loss amounted to 5000 men, among whom were many officers of distinction. Our miscarriage opened a passage for the foe to Hanau, whither they immediately marched, leaving their sick and wounded to the care of the French, who next day took possession of the field of battle, buried the dead, and treated the living with humanity. This circumstance was a great consolation to us, who thence took occasion to claim the victory; and the genius of the French nation never appeared more conspicuous than now, in the rhodomontades they uttered on the subject of their generosity and courage: every man (by his own account) performed feats that eclipsed all the heroes of antiquity. One compared himself to a lion retiring at leisure from his cowardly pursuers, who keep at a wary distance, and gall him with their darts. Another likened himself to a bear that retreats with his face to the enemy, who dare not assail him; and the third assumed the character of a desperate stag, that turns upon the hounds and keeps them at bay. There was not a private soldier engaged, who had not, by the prowess of his single arm, demolished a whole platoon, or put a squadron of horse to flight; and, among others, the meagre Gascon extolled his exploits above those of Hercules or Charlemagne. As I still retained my resentment for the disgrace I suffered in my last rencontre with him, and, now that I thought myself qualified, longed for an opportunity to retrieve my honour, I magnified the valour of the English with all the hyperboles I could imagine, and decried the pusillanimity of the French in the same style, comparing them to hares flying before grey-hounds, or mice pursued by cats; and passed an ironical compliment on the speed he exerted in his flight, which, considering his age and infirmities, I said was surprising. He was stung to the quick by this sarcasm, and, with an air of threatening disdain, bade me know myself better, and remember the correction I had lately received from him for my insolence; for he might not always be in the humour of sparing a wretch who abused his goodness. To this inuendo I made no reply, but by a kick in the breech which overturned him in an instant. He started up with wonderful agility, and, drawing his sword, attacked me with great fury; several people interposed; but when he informed them of its being an affair of honour, they retired, and left us to decide the battle by ourselves. I sustained his onset with little damage, having only received a small scratch on my right shoulder, and seeing his breath and vigour almost exhausted, assaulted him in my turn, closed with him, and wrested his sword out of his hand in the struggle. Having thus acquired the victory, I desired him to beg his life; to which demand he made no answer, but shrugged up his shoulders to his ears, expanded his hands, elevated the skin on his forehead and eye-brows, and depressed the corners of his mouth in such a manner, that I could scarce refrain from laughing aloud at his grotesque appearance. That I might, however, mortify his vanity, which triumphed without bounds over my misfortune, I thrust his sword up to the hilt in something (it was not a tansy) that lay smoking on the plain, and joined the rest of the soldiers with an air of tranquillity and indifference. There was nothing more of moment attempted by either of the armies during the remaining part of the campaign, which being ended, the English marched back to the Netherlands; part of our army was detached to French Flanders, and our regiment ordered into winter quarters in Champagne. It was the fate of the grenadier company, to which I now belonged, to lie at Rheims, where I found myself in the utmost want of every thing; my pay, which amounted to five sols a-day, far from supplying me with necessaries, being scarce sufficient to procure a wretched subsistence, to keep soul and body together: so that I was, by hunger and hard duty, brought down to the meagre condition of my fellow-soldiers, and my linen reduced from three tolerable shirts, to two pair of sleeves and necks, the bodies having been long ago converted into spatterdashes; and after all, I was better provided than any private man in the regiment. In this urgency of my affairs, I wrote to my uncle in England, though my hopes from that quarter were not at all sanguine, for the reasons I have already explained; and, in the mean time, had recourse to my old remedy, patience, consoling myself with the flattering suggestions of a lively imagination, that never abandoned me in my distress. One day, while I stood sentinel at the gate of a general officer, a certain nobleman came to the door, followed by a gentleman in mourning, to whom, at parting, I heard him saying," You may depend upon my good offices." This assurance was answered by a low bow of the person in black, who, turning to go away, discovered to me the individual countenance of my old friend and adherent Strap. I was so much astonished at the sight, that I lost the power of utterance, 66 and, before I could recollect myself, he was impossible!" I smiled at his interjections, or ill grounded, he might have chosen a more convenient opportunity of introducing them; and that the question now was, whether or not he found himself disposed to lend me any assistance ?-"Disposed!" replied he, with great emotion, "I thought you had known me so well, as to assure yourself, without asking, that I and all that belongs to me are at your command. In the mean time, you shall dine with me, and I will tell you something that perhaps will not be displeasing unto you.". Then wringing my hand, he said "It makes my heart bleed to see you in that garb." I thanked him for his invitation, which, I observed, could not be unwelcome to a person who had not eaten a comfortable meal these seven months: but I had another request to make, which I begged he would grant before dinner, and that was the loan of a shirt; for though my back had been many weeks a stranger to any comfort of that kind, my skin was not yet familiarized to the want of it. He stared in my face, with a woful countenance, at this declaration, which he could scarce believe, until I explained it, by unbuttoning my coat, and disclosing my naked body; a circumstance that shocked the tender-hearted Strap, who, with tears in his eyes, ran to a chest of drawers, and, taking out some linen, presented to me a very fine ruffled holland shirt, and cambrick neckcloth, assuring me he had three dozen of the same kind at my service. I was ravished at this piece of good news, and having accommodated myself in a moment, hugged my benefactor for his generous offer, saying, I was overjoyed to find him undebauched by prosperity, which | cure your discharge. I have some interest seldom fails to corrupt the heart. He be- with a nobleman who is able to do me that spoke for dinner some soup and bouille, a favour." We consulted about this affair, and couple of pullets roasted, and a dish of asparagus, and in the interim entertained me with biscuit and Burgundy; after which repast, he entreated me to gratify his longing desire of knowing every circumstance of my fortune since his departure from London. This request I complied with, beginning at the adventure of Gawky, and relating every particular event in which I had been concerned from that day to the present hour. During the recital, my friend was strongly affected, according to the various situations described he started with surprise, glowed with indignation, gaped with curiosity, smiled with pleasure, trembled with fear, and wept with sorrow, as the vicissitudes of my life inspired these different passions: and, when my story was ended, signified his amazement on the whole, by lifting up his eyes and hands, and protesting, that, though I was a young man, I had suffered more than all the blessed martyrs. it was determined, that Monsieur d'Estrapes should wait upon the marquis in the morning, and tell him he had by accident found his brother, whom he had not seen for many years before, a private soldier in the regiment of Picardy, and implore that nobleman's interest for his discharge. In the mean time we enjoyed ourselves over a bottle of good Burgundy, and spent the evening in concerting schemes for our future conduct, in case I should be so lucky as to get rid of the army. The business was to make ourselves easy for life, by means of his legacy, a task very difficult, and, in the usual methods of laying out money, altogether impracticable; so that, after much canvassing, we could come to no resolution that night, but when we parted, recommended the matter to the serious attention of each other. As for my own part, I puzzled my imagination to no purpose. When I thought of turning merchant, the smallness of our stock, and the risk of seas, enemies, and markets, deterred me from that scheme: if I should settle as a surgeon in my own country, I would find the business already overstocked; or, if I pretended to set up in England, must labour under want of friends, and powerful opposition, obstacles insurmountable by the most shining merit: neither should I succeed in my endeavours to rise in the state, inasmuch as I could neither flatter nor pimp for courtiers, nor prostitute my pen in defence of a wicked and contemptible administration. Before I could form any feasible project, I fell asleep, and my fancy was blessed with the image of my dear Narcissa, who seemed to smile upon my passion, and offer her hand as a reward for all my toils. After dinner, I desired, in my turn, to know the particulars of his peregrination, and he satisfied me in a few words, by giving me to understand that he had lived a year at Paris with his master, who in that time having acquired the language, as well as the fashionable exercises to perfection, made a tour of France and Holland, during which excursion he was so unfortunate as to meet with three of his own countrymen on their travels, in whose company he committed such excesses, that his constitution failed, and he fell into a consumption; that, by the advice of his physicians, he went to Montpelier for the benefit of good air, and recovered so well in six weeks, that he returned to Rheims, seemingly in good health, where he had not continued above a Early in the morning, I went to the lodgmonth, when he was seized with a looseness, ings of my friend, whom I found exulting that carried him off in ten days, to the over his happy invention; for I no sooner enunspeakable sorrow of all who knew him, tered his apartment, than he addressed himand especially of Strap, who had been very self to me in these words, with a smile of happy in his service, and given such satis- self-applause: "Well, Mr Random, a lucky faction, that his master, on his deathbed, thought may come into a fool's head somerecommended him to several persons of times. I have hit it—I'll hold you a button, distinction, for his diligence, sobriety, and my plan is better than yours, for all your affection, and left him by will his wearing learning. But you shall have the preference apparel, gold watch, sword, rings, ready in this, as in all other things; therefore promoney, and all the movables he had in ceed, and let us know the effects of your meFrance, to the value of three hundred ditation-and then I will impart my own pounds," Which I now," said he, "in the simple excogitations." I told him, that not sight of God and man, surrender to your one thought had occurred to me which deabsolute disposal: here are my keys, take served the least notice, and signified my imthem, I beseech you, and God give you joy of patience to be acquainted with the fruits of the possession." My brain was almost his reflection.-"As we have not," said he, turned by this sudden change of fortune," money sufficient to maintain us during a which I could scarce believe real; however, I positively refused this extravagant proffer of my friend, and put him in mind of my being a soldier; at which hint he started, crying," Odso! that's true, we must pro tedious expectation, it is my opinion, that a bold push must be made; and I see none so likely to succeed as your appearing in the character of a gentleman (which is your due), and making your addresses to some lady of |