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fortune who can render you independent at three dozen of fine ruffled shirts, as many once. Nay, don't stare-I affirm that this neckcloths; one dozen of cambrick handker. scheme is both prudent and honourable: for Ichiefs, and the like number of silk. The would not have you throw yourself away other movables which I possessed, by the upon an old toothless wheezing dame, whose generosity and friendship of Strap, were a breath would stink you into a consumption gold watch, with a chased case, two valuable in less than three months ; neither would I diamond rings, two mourning swords, one advise you to assume the character of a weal- with a silver handle, and a fourth cut steel thy squire, as your common fortune hunters inlaid with gold, a diamond stock-buckle, do, by which means many a poor lady is and a set of stone buckles for the knees and cheated into matrimony, and instead of en- shoes; a pair of silver mounted pistols with joying the pomp and grandeur that was pro- rich housings; a gold-headed cane, and a mised, sees her dowry seized by her husband's snuff-box of tortoise-shell mounted with gold, rapacious creditors, and herself reduced having the picture of a lady on the top. The to misery and despair. No, I know you gentleman left many other things of value, have a soul that disdains such imposition; which my friend had converted into cash and are master of qualifications both of before I met with him; so that, over and mind and body, which alone entitle you to a above these particulars, our stock in ready match that will set you above the world. I money amounted to something more than two have clothes in my possession that a duke hundred pounds. need not be ashamed to wear. I believe Thus equipped, I put on the gentleman they will fit you as they are ; if not, there of figure, and, attended by my honest are plenty of tailors in France. Let us take friend, who was contented with the station a short trip to Paris, and provide ourselves of my valet, visited the Louvre, examined with all other necessaries, then set out for the gallery of Luxembourg, and appeared at England, where I intend to do myself the Versailles, where I had the honour of seeing honour of attending you in quality of a valet. his most Christian majesty eat a considerable This expedient will save the expense of a ser- quantity of olives. During the month I spent vant, shaving and dressing; and I doubt not at Paris, I went several times to court, the but, by the blessing of God, we shall bring Italian comedy, opera, and play-house, danced matters to a speedy and fortunate issue." at a masquerade, and, in short, saw every thing Extravagant as this proposal was, I listened remarkable in and about that capital. Then to it with pleasure, because it flattered my we set out for England by the way of Flanders, vanity, and indulged a ridiculous hope I be passed through Brussels, Ghent, and Bruges, gan to entertain of my inspiring Narcissa and took shipping at Ostend, from whence in with a mutual flame.

fourteen hours we arrived at Deal, hired a After breakfast, Monsieur d'Estrapes went post-chaise, and in twelve hours more got to pay his devoirs to the marquis, and was so safe to London, having disposed of our heavy successful in his application, that I obtained baggage in the waggon. a discharge in a few days : upon which we set out for Paris. Here I had time to reflect and congratulate myself upon this sudden

CHAPTER XLV. transition of fate, which to bear with moderation, required some degree of philosophy I inquire for my uncle, and understand he and self-denial. This truth will be more is gone to sea—take lodgings at Charingobvious, if I give a detail of the particulars, cross-go to the play, where I meet with to the quiet possession of which I was raised an adventure—dine at an ordinary; the in an instant, from the most abject misery guests described—become acquainted with and contempt. My wardrobe consisted of Medlar and Doctor Wagtail. five fashionable coats full mounted, two of which were plain, one of cut velvet, one As soon as we alighted at the inn, I distrimmed with gold, and another with silver patched Strap to inquire for my uncle, at lace; two frocks, one of white drab with the Union-flag in Wapping: and he returned large plate buttons, the other of blue with in a little time, with an account of Mr Bowgold bindings; one waistcoat of gold brocade, ling's having gone to sea, mate of a merchantone of blue satin embroidered with silver, ship, after a long and unsuccessful application one of green silk trimmed with broad figured and attendance at the Admiralty: where, it gold lace, one of black silk with fringes, one seems, the interest he depended upon was of white satin, one of black cloth, and one of not sufficient to reinstate him, or recover the scarlet ; six pairs of cloth breeches, one pair pay that was due to him when he quitted the of crimson, and another of black velvet ; Thunder. twelve pairs of white silk stockings, as many Next day I hired very handsome lodgings of black silk, and the same number of fine not far from Charing.cross; and, in the cotton; one hat laced with gold point d'Es- evening, dressed myself in a plain suit of pagne, another with silver lace scolloped, a the true Paris cut, and appeared in a front third with gold binding, and a fourth plain ; | box at the play, where I saw a good deal of

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company, and was vain enough to believe fellows of fashion, standing in a corner, one that I was observed with an uncommon of whom, as I thought, tipt my charmer the degree of attention and applause. This silly wink, and when we were past, I heard them conceit intoxicated me so inuch, that I was set up a loud laugh. This note aroused my guilty of a thousand ridiculous coquetries ; attention, and I was resolved to be fully and I dare say, how favourable soever the satisfied of this lady's character, before I thoughts of the company might be at my should have any nearer connection with her. first appearance, they were soon changed, by As no convenience appeared, I proposed to my absurd behaviour, into pity or contempt. conduct her to a tavern, where we might I rose and sat down, covered and uncovered stay a few minutes, till my servant could my head twenty times between the acts; fetch a coach from the Strand. She seemed pulled out my watch, clapped it to my ear, particularly shy of trusting herself in a tavern wound it up, set it, gave it the hearing again; with a stranger ; but at last yielded to my displayed my snuff-box, affected to take snuff, pathetic remonstrances, rather than endanger that I might have an opportunity of showing her health, by remaining in a cold damp my brilliant, and wiped my nose with a per- thoroughfare. Having thus far succeeded, I fumed handkerchief; then dangled my cane, begged to know what wine she would be and adjusted my sword knot, and acted many pleased to drink a glass of ; but she professed more fooleries of the same kind, in hopes of the greatest aversion to all sorts of strong obtaining the character of a pretty fellow, liquors; and it was with much difficulty that in the acquiring of which I found two con- I could persuade her to eat a jelly. In the siderable obstructions in my disposition, mean time, I endeavoured to alleviate the namely, a natural reserve, and jealous sensi- uneasiness she discovered, by saying all the bility.' Fain would I have entered into con-agreeable things I could think of; at which versation with the people around me; but I she would often sigh, and regard me with a was restrained by fear of being censured for languishing look, that seemed, however, too my assurance, as well as by reflecting that I near akin to the lewd leer of a courtezan. was more entitled to a compliment of this kind This discovery, added to my former suspicion, from them, than they to such condescension while it put me upon my guard against her from a stranger like me. How often did I arts, divested me of reserve, and enabled me redden at the frequent whispers and loud to entertain her with gaiety and freedom. laughter of my fellow-beaux, which I imagined In the course of our conversation, I pressed were excited by me! and how often did I her to allow me the honour of waiting upon envy the happy indifference of those choice her next day at her lodgings; a request which spirits, who beheld the distress of the scene, she, with many apologies, refused, lest it without discovering the least symptom of should give uinbrage to Sir John, who was approbation or concern! My attention was of a disposition apt to be fretted with trifles. engaged in spite of myself, and I could not This information, by which I was to understand help weeping with the heroine of the stage; that her husband was a knight, did not check though I practised a great many shifts to my addresses, which became more and more conceal this piece of unpolite 'weakness. importunate, and I was even hardy enough When the play was ended, I sat waiting for to ravish a kiss. But, О heavens! instead of an opportunity of handing some lady to her banqueting on the ambrosial flavour that her coach: but every one was attended by such delicacy of complexion promised, I was a number of officious gallants, that for a almost suffocated with the steams of geneva ! long time I was balked in my expectation. An exhalation of this kind, from a mouth At length, however, I perceived a very hand- which had just before declared an utter some creature, genteelly dressed, sitting by abhorrence of all spirituous liquors, not only herself in a box, at some distance from me; changed my doubts into certainty, but my upon which I went up to her, and offered my raptures into loathing; and it would have service. She seemed to be in some confu- been impossible for me to have preserved sion, thanked me for my complaisance, and common complaisance five minutes longer, with a tender look declined giving me the when my servant returned with the coach. trouble; looking at her watch, and testifying I took the advantage of this occasion, and her surprise at the negligence of her footman, presented my hand to the lady, who put in whom she had ordered to have a chair ready practice against me the whole artillery of for her at that hour. I repeated my entreaty her charms, ogling, languishing, sighing and with all the eloquence and compliment I was squeezing, with so little reserve, that Strap master of; and, in the event, she was pre- perceived her tenderness, and rubbed his vailed upon to accept of a proposal I made, to hands with joy as he followed us to the door ; send my servant for a chair or coach: accord- but I was proof against all her endearments, ingly, Strap was detached for that purpose, and handed her into the coach with an intenand returned without succeeding : by this tion to take my leave immediately. She time the playhouse was quite empty, and we guessed my design, and invited me to her were obliged to retire. As I led her through house, whispering, that now Sir John was the passage, I observed five or six young gone to bed, she could have the pleasure of

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my conversation for half an hour without that was advanced in favour of his most interruption. I told her, there was no mor- Christian majesty, with a surliness truly tification I would not undergo, rather than English. But this trusty patriot, who had endanger the repose of her ladyship; and, never been out of his own country, and drew bidding the coachman drive on, wished her all his maxims and notions from prejudice a good night. She lost all temper at my and hearsay, was very unequal to his antagoindifference, and stopping the coach at the nists, who were superior to him in learning distance of about twenty, yards from me, and experience, and often took the liberty of popped out her head, and bawled, with the travellers, in asserting things which were not lungs of a fish-woman—“D-n you, you dog, strictly true, because they thought themselves wont you pay the coach-hire ?" As I made in no danger of being detected by him. The no answer, she held forth against me with claim of the queen of Spain to the Austrian an eloquence peculiar to herself; calling me dominions in Italy, was fully explained and pitiful fellow, scoundrel, and an hundred such vindicated by a person who sat opposite to appellations; concluding, with an oath, that me, and by the solemnity of his manner, and for all my appearance, she believed I had got the richness of his apparel, seemed to be a no money in my pocket.

foreign ambassador. This dissertation proHaving thus vented her indignation, she duced another on the pragmatic sanction, ordered the coachman to proceed, and I handled with great warmth by a young genreturned to the tavern, where I bespoke tleman at my right hand, dressed in a green something for supper, very well pleased at frock trimmed with gold, who justified the the issue of this adventure. I dispensed French king for his breach of that contract, with the attendance of the waiter at table, and affirmed that he could not have observed on pretence that my own servant was present; it without injuring his own glory. Although and when we were alone, said to Strap, I was not at all convinced by this gentleman's --- Well

, Monsieur d’Estrapes, what do you arguments, I could not help admiring his think of this lady?". My friend, who had vivacity, which I imagined must be the effect not opened his mouth since her departure, of his illustrious birth and noble education, could make no other reply than the mono- and accordingly rated him in my conjecture syllable “ Think!" which he pronounced as a young prince on his travels. The diswith a note of fear and astonishment. Sur. course was afterwards shifted by an old genprised at this emphasis, I surveyed my valet, tleman, of a very martial appearance, to the and perceiving a wildness in his looks, asked last campaign, when the battle of Dettingen if he had seen his grandfather's ghost ? was fought over again, with so many circum_“Ghost !” said he,®“ I am sure I have stances to the honour of the French, and seen a devil incarnate! Who would have disadvantage of the allies, that I began to thought that so much devilish malice and entertain some doubts of my having been Billingsgate could lurk under such sweetness there in person, and took the liberty to menof countenance and modesty of behaviour ? tion some objections to what he advanced. Ah! God help us! Fronti nulla fides-- This freedom introduced a dispute, which nimium ne crede colori—but we ought to lasted a good while, to the mortification of down on our knees, and bless God for deliver- all present; and was at last referred to the ing us from the jaws of that painted sepul- determination of a grave person, whom they chre.” I was pretty much of Strap's opinion, styled doctor, and who, under a show of great and though I did not believe myself in any moderation, decided it against me, with so danger fron the allurements of that sister- little regard to truth, that I taxed him with hood, I determined to act with great circum- partiality in pretty severe terms, to the no spection for the future, and shun all commerce small entertainment of the true English poliof that kind, as equally prejudicial to my tician, who rejoiced at my defence of a cause purse and constitution.

he had so often espoused without success. My next care was to introduce myself into My opponent, pleased with the victory he a set of good acquaintaince ; for which pur- had gained, affected a great deal of candour, pose I frequented a certain coffee-house, and told me, he should not have been so posnoted for the resort of good company, English itive, if he had not been at great pains to as well as foreigners, where my appearance inform himself of each particular. “ Indeed," procured all the civilities and advances I said he, “I am convinced that, the previous could desire. As there was an ordinary in steps considered, things could not happen the same house, I went up stairs to dinner otherwise; for we generals who have seen with the other guests, and found myself at a service, though we may not be on the spot table with thirteen people, the greatest part ourselves, know by the least sketch of the of whom were better dressed than myself. disposition what must be the event.” He The conversation, which was mostly carried then censured, with great freedom, every cir. on in French, turned chiefly on politics; and cumstance of the conduct of those who com. I soon found the whole company was in the manded the allies; from thence made a French interest, myself excepted, and a testy transition to the ministry, which he honoured old gentleman, who contradicted every thing with many invectives, for employing people

who had neither experience nor capacity, to, and if I hear another syllable out of your the prejudice of old officers who had been mouth, in contempt or prejudice of this kingdistinguished for both; dropped many hints dom, I will give you a convincing proof of of his own importance; and concluded with what I advance, and have you laid by the observing that the French and Spaniards heels for your presumption.” This declaraknew better how to value.generals of merit; tion had an effect on the company as sudden the good effects of which were seen in the as surprising. The young prince became conquests they gain, and the admirable dis- supple as a spaniel ; the ambassador tremcipline of their troops, which are at the same bled; the general sat silent and abashed; and time better clothed and paid than any soldiers the doctor, who, it seems, had felt the rod . in the universe. These remarks furnished of power, grew pale as death, and assured us the green knight with an opportunity of all, that he had no intention to affront any launching out in the praise of the French person or people. "Your principles, doctor," government in general, civil as well as mili- resumed the old gentleman, "are no secrettary; on which occasion he made many odi- I have nothing to say to you upon that head; ous comparisons to the disadvantage of the but am very much surprised, that a man, who English. Every body almost assented to the despises us so much, should, notwithstand. observations he made; and the doctor gave ing, live among us, when he has no visible his sanction, by saying, the people in France motive for so doing:—Why don't you take were undoubtedly the happiest subjects in the up your habitation in your beloved France, world. I was so much astonished and con- where you may rail at England without cenfounded at their infatuation and effrontery, sure?". To this remonstrance the doctor that I had not power to utter one word in thought proper to make no reply; and an opposition to their assertions ; but my morose unsocial silence ensued; which I perceiving, associate could not put up with the indignity took notice, that it was pity such idle disthat was offered to Old England, and there- putes, maintained very often through whim fore, with a satirical grin, addressed himself or diversion, should create any misunderto the general in these words :—“Sir, sir, I standing among gentlemen of good sense ; have often heard it said, she's a villainous and proposed to drink down all animosity in bird that befouls her own nest. As for what another bottle. This motion was applauded those people who are foreigners say, I don't by the whole company: the wine was brought, mind it, they know no better; but you, who | and the English champion declaring he had were bred and born, and have got your bread no spleen against any man for differing in under the English government, should have opinion from him, any more than for differmore regard to gratitude, as well as truth, in ence of complexion, drank to the good health censuring your native country. If the min. of all present; the compliment was returned, istry have thought fit to lay you aside, I sup- and the conversation once more became unpose they have their own reasons for so reserved, though more general than before. doing; and you ought to remember that you Among other topics, the subject of war was still live on the bounty of the nation. As for introduced, on which the general declaimed these gentlemen (meaning the prince and with great eloquence, recounting many of his ambassador), who make so free with the own exploits by way of illustration. In the constitution, laws, and genius of our people, course of his harangue, he happened to I think they might show a little more respect mention the word epaulement ; upon which for their benefactors, who, I must own, are the testy gentleman asked the meaning of to blam”, in harbouring, protecting, and en- that term. “I'll tell you what an epaule. couraging such ungrateful vagrants as they ment is," replied he,-“I never are.” At these words the chevalier in green epaulement but once—and that was at the started up in a great passion, and laying his siege of Namur-In a council of war, Monhand on the hilt of his hanger, exclaimed, sieur Cohorn, the famous engineer, affirmed “Ha, foutre !” The Englishman, on the that the place could not be taken.” “Yes,” other hand, grasping his cane, cried, "Don't said the prince of Vaudemont, “it may be foutre me, sirrah, or, by G-d, I'll knock taken by an epaulement.” This was imme. you down.” The company interposed,—the diately put in execution, and in twenty-four Frenchman sat down again, and his antago- hours Mareschal Boufflers was fain to capitnist proceeded—“Lookee, monsieur, you ulate." Here he made a full stop; and the know very well, that, had you dared to speak old gentleman repeated the question,—" But so freely of the administration of your own pray what is an epaulement ?" To this in. country in Paris, as you have done of ours in terrogation the officer made no immediate London, you would have been sent to the reply, but rung the bell, and called for a bill, Bastile without ceremony, where you might which being brought, he threw down his prohave rotted in a dungeon, and never seen the portion of the reckoning, and, telling the light of the sun again. Now, sir, take my company he would show them an epaule. word for it, although our constitution screens ment when his majesty should think fit to us from such oppression, we want not laws entrust him with the command of our army to chastise the authors of seditious discourse; I abroad, strutted away with great dignity. I

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could not imagine why he was so shy of ex- | infinite; for, once he begins, there is no plaining one of the most simple terms of chance of his leaving off speaking, while one fortification; which I forthwith described as person remains to yield attention; therefore, a side-work composed of earth, gabions, or the only expedient I know for putting a stop fascines : but I was very much surprised to his loquacity, is to lay hold of some when I afterwards understood that his re- incongruity he has uttered, and demand an serve proceeded from his ignorance. Having explanation; or ask the meaning of some paid our bill, we adjourned to the coffee-room, difficult term that he knows by name only. where my fellow-labourer insisted on treating This method will effectually put him to sime with a dish, giving me to understand, at lence, if not to flight, as it happened when I the same time, that I had acquired his good inquired about an epaulement. Had he been opinion, both with respect to my principles acquainted with the signification of that word, and understanding. I thanked him for his bis triumph would have been intolerable, and compliment, and, professing myself an utter we must have quitted the field first, or been stranger in this part of the world, begged he worried with impertinence.” Having thus would have the goodness to inform me of gratified my curiosity, the old gentleman be. the quality and characters of the people who gan to discover his own, in questions relating dined above. This request was a real favour to myself, to which I thought proper to reto one of his disposition, which was no less turn ambiguous answers. “I presume, sir," communicative than curious : he therefore said he, “ you have travelled ?" I answered, complied with great satisfaction, and told me, —“Yes." “I dare say you would find it to my extreme astonishment, that the sup- very expensive,” said he. I replied,—“To posed young prince was a dancer at one of be sure, one cannot travel without money." the theatres, and the ambassador no other “That I know by experience," said he, " for than a fiddler belonging to the opera. "The I myself take a trip to Bath or Tunbridge doctor,” said he, " is a Roman Catholic every season; and one must pay sauce for priest, who sometimes appears in the charac- what he has on the road, as well in other ter of an officer, and assumes the name of countries as in this—That's a very pretty captain; but more generally takes the garb, stone in your ring,-give me leave, sir,-the title, and behaviour of a physician, in which French have attained a wonderful skill in capacity he wheedles himself into the confi- making compositions of this kind. Why, dence of weak-minded people, and, by argu- now, this looks almost as well as a diamond.” ments no less specious than false, converts " Almost as well, sir,” said I, “why not alto. them from their religion and allegiance. He gether? I am sure if you understand any has been in the hands of justice more than thing of jewels, you must perceive at first once for such practices; but he is a sly dog, sight that this stone is a real diamond, and and manages matters with so much craft, that of a very fine water. Take it in your that hitherto he has escaped for a short im- hand and examine it.” He did so with some prisonment. As for the general, you may confusion, and returned it, saying,—“I ask see he has owed his promotion more to his your pardon, I see it is a true brilliant of interest than his capacity; and now that the immense value." I imagined his respect for eyes of the ministry are opened, his friends me increased after this inquiry ; therefore, to dead, or become inconsiderable, he is struck captivate his esteem the more, I told him I off the list, and obliged to put up with would show him a seal of composition, en. a yearly pension. In consequence of this graved after a very valuable antique; upon reduction, he is become malcontent, and which I pulled out my watch, with a rich gold inveighs against the government in all com- chain, adorned with three seals set in gold, panies, with so little discretion, that I am and an opal ring. He viewed each of them surprised at the lenity of the administration with great eagerness, handled the chain, adin overlooking his insolence; but the truth mired the chased case, and observed that the of the matter is, he owes his safety to his whole must have cost me a vast sum of weakness and want of importance. He has money. I affected indifference, and replied, seen a little, and but a little service; and yet, in a careless manner,- “Some trifle of sixty if you would take his word for it, there has or seventy guineas." He stared in my face not been a great action performed in the field some time, and then asked me if I was an since the revolution in which he was not Englishman. I answered in the negative. principally concerned. When a story is told "You are from Ireland, then, sir, I presume,” of any great general, he immediately matches said he. I made the same reply. “O ! perit with one of himself, though he is often haps," said he, “you were born in one of our unhappy in his invention, and commits such settlements abroad." I still answered, “No." gross blunders in the detail, that every body He seemed very much surprised, and said, is in pain for him. Cæsar, Pompey, and he was sure I was not a foreigner. I made Alexander the Great are continually in his no reply, but left him upon the tenterhooks mouth and as he reads a good deal, without of impatient uncertainty. He could not any judgment to digest it, his ideas are con contain his anxiety, but asked pardon for the fuşed, and his harangues as unintelligible as liberties he had taken, and to encourage me

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