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an undaunted air, at the sight of whose bloody | was laid up with the gout) received this relaweapon his antagonists fell back with pre- tion, after his long absence, with that coldcipitation, when he accosted their leader ness of civility which was peculiar to him; thus: “Lookee, brother, your dogs have told him he was glad to see him, and desired boarded me without provocation—what I did him to sit down. “ Thank ye, thank ye, sir, was in my own defence. So you had best I had as lief stand ;" said my uncle, “ for my be civil, and let us shoot a-head clear of you." own part, I desire nothing of you; but if you Whether the young squire misinterpreted have any conscience at all, do soniething for my uncle's desire of peace, or was enraged this poor boy, who has been used at a very at the fate of his hounds beyond his usual unchristian rate. Unchristian do I call it ? pitch of resolution, I know not; but he I am sure the Moors in Barbary have more snatched a flail from one of his followers, and humanity than to leave their little ones to came up with a show of assaulting the lieu. want. I would fain know why my sister's tenant, who, putting himself in a posture of son is more neglected than that there fairdefence, proceeded thus : “Lookee, you lub- weather Jack;" (pointing to the young squire, berly son of a w-e, if you come athwart me, who, with the rest of my cousins, had fol. 'ware of your gingerbread work; I'll be foul lowed us into the room). “ Is not he as near of your quarter, d-n me." This declara- akin to you as the other? Is he not much tion, followed by a flourish of his hanger, handsomer and better built than that great seemed to check the progress of the young chuckle-head ?-Come, come, consider, old gentleman's choler, who, looking behind him, gentleman, you are going in a short time to perceived his attendants had slunk into the give an account of your evil actions. Rehouse, shut the gate, and left him to decide member the wrongs you did his father, and the contention by himself. Here a parley make all the satisfaction in your power, before ensued, which was introduced by my cousin's it be too late. The least thing you can do is asking, “Who the d-1 are you?-What to settle his father's portion on him.” The do you want?-Some scoundrel of a seaman, young ladies, who thought themselves too I suppose, who has deserted, and turned thief. much concerned to contain themselves any But don't think you shall escape, sirrah—I'll longer, set up their throats altogether against have you hanged, you dog, I will your blood my protector,—“scurvy companion,-saucy shall pay for that of my two hounds, you tarpaulin,-rude, impertinent fellow !-did raggamuffin. I would not have parted with he think to prescribe to grandpapa ? His them to save your whole generation from sister's brat had been too well taken care the gallows, you ruffian you." “None of of,-grandpapa was too just not to make a your jaw, you swab-none of your jaw," difference between an unnatural, rebellious replied my uncle, “else I shall trim your son, and his dutiful loving children, who took laced jacket for you-I shall rub you down his advice in all things ;"--and such expresswith an oaken towel, my boy,-I shall." So ions were vented against him with great saying, he sheathed his hanger and grasped violence, until the judge at length commanded his cudgel. Meanwhile, the people of the silence. He calmly rebuked my uncle for house being alarmed, one of my female cou- his unmannerly behaviour, which he said he sins opened a window, and asked what was would excuse on account of his education ; the matter! “ The matter !" answered the he told him he had been very kind to the boy, lieutenant, “ no great matter, young woman. whom he had kept at school seven or eight I have business with the old gentleman, and years, although he was informed he made no this spark, belike, won't allow me to come progress in his learning, but was addicted to alongside of him, that's all.” After a few all manner of vice, which he rather believed, minutes pause, we were admitted, and con- because he himself was witness to a barbarducted to ny grandfather's chamber, through ous piece of mischief he had committed on a lane of my relations, who honoured me the jaws of his chaplain. But, however, he with very significant looks as I passed along. would see what the lad was fit for, and bind When we came into the judge's presence, him apprentice to some honest tradesman or my uncle, after two or three sca-bows, ex. other, provided he would mend his manners, pressed himself in this manner : “ Your and behave for the future as became him. servant-your servant. What cheer, father? The honest tar (whose pride and indignation what cheer?- I suppose you don't know me, boiled within him) answered my grandfather, mayhap you don't-my name is Tom Bowl. that it was true he had sent him to school, ing—and this here boy, you look as if you but it had cost him nothing, for he had never did not know him neither—'tis like you been at one shilling expense to furnish him mayn't. He's new rigged, i'faith! his cloth with food, raiment, books, or other necessdon't now shake in the wind so much as it aries ; so that it was not to be much wonwont to do. 'Tis my nephew, d'ye see, dered at, if the boy made small progress ; and Roderick Randoin—your own flesh and blood, yet, whoever told him so, was a lying lubold gentleman. Don't lag astern, you dog," berly rascal, and deserved to be keel-hauled : pulling me forward. My grandfather (who for, though he (the lieutenant) did not under

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stand those matters himself, he was well | eyes towards us, and Mr Bowling went on,
informed as how Rory was the best scholar · here's poor Rory come to see you before
of his age in all the country; the truth of you die, and receive your blessing. What,
which he would maintain by laying a wager man! don't despair,-you have been a great
of his whole half-year's pay on the boy's sinner, 'tis true; what then? There's a
head; (with these words he pulled out his righteous Judge above,--an't there ?—He
purse, and challenged the company).-—"Nei- minds me no more than a porpuss. Yes,
ther is he predicted to vice, as you affirm, yes, he's a-going,—the land crabs will have
but rather left like a wreck, d'ye see, at the him, I see that; his anchor's a-peak, i'faith."
mercy of the wind and weather, by your This homely conversation scandalized the
neglect, old gentleman. As for what hap- company so much, and especially the parson,
pened to your chaplain, I am only sorry that who probably thought his province invaded,
he did not knock out the scoundrel's brains, that we were obliged to retire into another
instead of his teeth. By the Lord ! if ever I room, where, in a few minutes, we were con-
come up with him, he had better be in Green- vinced of my grandfather's decease, by a
land,- that's all. Thank you for your cour- dismal yell uttered by the young ladies in his
teous offer, of binding the lad apprentice to apartment; whither we immediately hastened,
a tradesman. I suppose you would make a and found his heir, who had retired a little
tailor of him-would you? I had rather see before into a closet, under pretence of giving
him hang'd, d'ye see. Come along, Rory, I vent to his sorrow, asking, with a counte-
perceive how the land lies, my boy,– let's nance beslubbered with tears, if his grandpapa
tack about, i'faith,—while I have a shilling was certainly dead ? –"Dead !” says my
thou shan't want a tester. B'wi'ye, old gen- uncle, looking at the body, “ay, ay, I'll
tleman, you're bound for the other world, but rant him as dead as a herring. Odd's fish!
I believe damnably ill provided for the voyage. now my dream is out, for all the world. I
Thus ended our visit ; and we returned to the thought I stood upon the forecastle, and saw
village, my uncle muttering curses all the a parcel of carrion crows foul of a dead shark
way against the old shark and the young fry that floated alongside, and the devil perching
that surrounded him.

on our sprit-sail-yard, in the likeness of a
blue bear,—who, d'ye see, jumped overboard

upon the carcass, and carried it to the bottom

in his claws." “Out upon thee, reprobate,'

cried the parson, “out upon thee, blasphemMy grandfather makes his willour second ous wretch !—Dost thou think his honour's

visit-he dieshis will is read in pre- soul is in the possession of Satan ?" The sence of all his living descendants--the clamour immediately arose, and my poor disappointment of my female cousins- uncle, being shouldered from one corner of my uncle's behaviour.

the room to the other, was obliged to lug out

in his own defence, and swear he would turn A Few weeks after our first visit, we were out for no man, till such time as he knew informed that the old judge, at the end of a who had a title to send him adrift. “None fit of thoughtfulness, which lasted three days, of your tricks upon travellers," said he ; had sent for a notary, and made his will ; that “mayhap old buff has left my kinsman here the disorder had mounted from his legs to his his heir :-If he has, it will be better for his stomach; and being conscious of his approach- miserable soul. Odd's bob: I'd desire no ing end, he had desired to see all his descend better news. I'd soon_make him a clear ants without exception. In obedience to ship, I warrant you.” To avoid any further this summons, my uncle set out with me a disturbance, one of my grandfather's execusecond time, to receive the last benediction tors, who was present, assured Mr Bowling, of my grandfather: often repeating by the that his nephew should have all manner of road, Ey, ey, we have brought up the old justice ; that a day should be appointed, after hulk at last : you shall see,-you shall see the funeral, for examining the papers of the the effect of my admonition.” When we deceased, in presence of all his relations : entered his chamber, which was crowded till which time every desk and cabinet in with his relations, we advanced to the bed the house should remain close sealed; and side, where we found him in his last agonies, that he was very welcome to be witness to supported by two of his grand-daughters, this ceremony, which was immediately per. who sat on each side of him sobbing most formed to his satisfaction. In the meantime, piteously, and wiping away the froth and orders were given to provide mourning for slaver as it gathered on his lips, which they all the relations, in which number I was frequently kissed with a show of great anguish included: but my uncle would not suffer me and affection. My uncle approached him to accept of it, until I should be assured with these words: “What! he's not a-weigh. whether or not I had reason to honour his How fare ye, how fare ye, old gentleman ?- memory so far. During this interval, the Lord have mercy upon your poor sinful soul.” conjectures of people with regard to the old Upon which the dying man turned his languid I gentleman's will were various. As it was


well known he had, besides his landed estate, to relish this amusement, replied, “ You and which was worth £700 per annum, six or your dogs may be d-d. I suppose you'll seven thousand pounds at interest, some find them with your old dad, in the latitude imagined that the whole real estate (which of hell. Come, Rory—about ship, my lad, he had greatly improved) would go to the we must steer another course, I think.” young man whom he always entertained as And away we went. his heir ; and that the money would be equally divided between my female cousins (five in number) and me. Others were of opinion,

CHAPTER V. that as the rest of his children had been already provided for, he would only bequeath The schoolmaster uses me barbarously-I two or three hundred pounds to each of his form a project of revenge, in which I am grand-daughters, and leave the bulk of the assisted by my uncle- I leave the village sum to me, to atone for his unnatural usage -am settled at a university by his geneof my father. At length the important hour rosity. arrived, and the will was produced in the midst of the expectants, whose looks and On our way back to the village, my uncle gestures formed a group that would have spoke not a word during the space of a whole been very entertaining to an unconcerned hour, but whistled, with great vehemence, spectator. But the reader can scarce con- the tune of Why should we quarrel for ceive the astonishment and mortification that riches, fc. his visage being contracted all appeared, when the attorney pronounced the while into a most formidable frown. At aloud,--the young squire sole heir of all his length his pace increased to such a degree, grandfather's estate, personal and real. My that I was left behind a considerable way. uncle, who had listened with great attention, Then he waited for me; and when I was sucking the head of his cudgel all the while, almost up with him, called out in a surly accompanied these words of the attorney tone, “ Bear a hand, damme! must I bringwith a stare and whew, that alarmed the to every minute for you, you lazy dog ?” whole assembly. The eldest and pertest of Then laying hold of me by the arm, hauled my female competitors, who had been always me along, until his good nature (of which very officious about my grandfather's person, he had a great share) and reflection getting inquired with a faultering accent, and visage the better of his passion, he said, -" Come, as yellow as an orange, “ if there were no my boy, don't be cast down,-the old rascal legacies ?" and was answered, “none at all.” is in hell,—that's some satisfaction; you shall Upon which she fainted away. The rest, go to sea with me, my lad.— A light heart whose expectations, perhaps, were not so and a thin pair of breeches goes through sanguine, supported their disappointment the world, brave boys, as the song goes, eh!" with more resolution; though not without Though this proposal did not at all suit my giving evident marks of indignation, and inclination, I was afraid of discovering my grief, at least as genuine as that which ap- aversion to it, lest I should disoblige the only peared in them at the old gentleman's death. friend I had in the world; and he was so My conductor, after having kicked with his much a seaman, that he never dreamt I could heel for some time against the wainscot, have any objection to his design; consequently began : “So, there's no legacy, friend: ha! gave himself no trouble in consulting my here's an old succubus : but somebody's soul approbation. But this resolution was soon howls for it, d-n me!" The parson of the dropt, by the advice of our usher, who assured parish, who was one of the executors and Mr Bowling, it would be a thousand pities had acted as ghostly director to the old man, to baulk my genius, which would certainly, no sooner heard this exclamation than he one day, make my fortune on shore, procried out, “ Avaunt, unchristian reviler! vided it received due cultivation. Upon avaunt !-wilt thou not allow the soul of his which this generous tar determined (though honour to rest in peace ?" But this zealous he could ill afford it) to give me a university pastor did not find himself so warmly seconded education, and accordingly settled my board as formerly by the young ladies, who now and other expenses, at a town not many joined my uncle against him, and accused miles distant, famous for its colleges, whither him of having acted the part of a busy-body we repaired in a short time. But, before the with their grandpapa ; whose ears he had day of our departure, the schoolmaster, who certainly abused by false stories to their pre- no longer had the fear of my grandfather judice, or else he would not have neglected before his eyes, laid aside all decency and them in such an unnatural manner. The restraint, and not only abused me in the young squire was much diverted with this grossest language his rancour could suggest, scene, and whispered to my uncle, that, if as a wicked, profligate, dull, beggarly mishe had not murdered his dogs, he would have creant, whom he had taught out of charity; shown him glorious fun, by hunting a black but also inveighed in the most bitter manner badger (so he termed the clergyman). The against the memory of the judge (who, by gurly lieutenant, who was not in a humour the by, had procured that settlement for him),

hinting in pretty plain terins, that the old him the scheme I had concerted; which he
gentleman's soul was damned to all eternity heard with great satisfaction, at every sen-
for his injustice in neglecting to pay for my tence squirting out a mouthful of spittle,
learning. This brutal behaviour, added to tinctured with tobacco, of which he constantly
the sufferings I had formerly undergone, chewed a large quid. At last, pulling up his
made me think it high time to be revenged breeches, he cried,-—"No, no, zounds ! that
of this insolent pedagogue. Having con- won't do neither,-howsomever, 'tis a bold
sulted my adherents, I found them all staunch undertaking, my lad—that I must say, i'faith!
in their promises to stand by me; and our but lookee, lookee, how dost propose to get
scheme was this. In the afternoon preced-clear off ?-won't the enemy give chase, my
ing the day of my departure for the univer- boy-ay, ay, that he will, I warrant,--and
sity, I resolved to take the advantage of the alarm the whole coast. Ah! God help thee,
usher's going out to make water (which he more sail than ballast, Rory. Let me alone
regularly did at four o'clock), and shut the for that,-— leave the whole to me,I'll show
great door, that he might not come to the him the fore-top-sail, I will. If so be your
assistance of his superior. This being done, shipmates are jolly boys, and won't finch,
the assault was to be begun by my advancing you shall see, you shall see; egad, I'll play
to my master, and spitting in his face. him a salt-water trick-I'll bring him to the
was to be seconded by two of the strongest gang-way, and anoint him with a cat-o'-nine-
boys in the school, who were devoted to me; ails; he shall have a round dozen doubled,
their business was to join me in dragging my lad, he shall,—and be left lashed to his
the tyrant to a bench, over which he was to meditations."
be laid, and his bare posteriors heartily We were very proud of our associate, who
flogged with his own birch, which we pro- immediately went to work, and prepared the
posed to wrest from him in the struggle ; but instrument of his revenge with great skill and
if we should find him too many for us all expedition; after which, he ordered our bag-
three, we were to demand the assistance of gage to be packed up and sent off a day before
our competitors, who should be ready to our attempt, and got horses ready to be
reinforce us, or oppose any thing that might mounted, as soon as the affair should be over.
be undertaken for the master's relief. One At length the hour arrived, when our auxiliary,
of my principal assistants was called Jeremy seizing the opportunity of the usher's absence,
Gawky, son and heir of a wealthy gentleman bolted in, secured the door, and immediately
in the neighbourhood; and the name of the laid hold of the pedant by his collar, who
other Hugh Strap, the cadet of a family bawled out “Murder! thieves !" with the
which had given shoemakers to the village voice of a Stentor. Though I trembled all
time out of mind. I had once saved Gawky's over like an aspen-leaf, I knew there was no
life by plunging into a river, and dragging time to be lost, and accordingly got up, and
him on shore, when he was on the point of summoned our associates to my assistance.
being drowned. I had often rescued him Strap without any hesitation obeyed the sig-
from the clutches of those whom his insuf- nal, and seeing me leap upon the master's
ferable arrogance had provoked to resentment back, ran immediately to one of his legs,
he was not able to sustain; and many times which pulling with all his force, his dreadful
saved his reputation and posteriors by per- adversary was humbled to the ground; upon
forming his exercises at school; so that it is which Gawky, who had hitherto remained in
not to be wondered at if he had a particular his place, under the influence of a universal
regard for me and my interests. The at- trepidation, hastened to the scene of action,
tachment of Strap flowed from a voluntary and insulted the fallen tyrant with a loud
disinterested inclination, which had mani- huzza, in which the whole school joined.
fested itself on many occasions in my behalf, This noise alarmed the usher, who, finding
he having once rendered me the same ser- himself shut out, endeavoured, partly by
vice that I had done Gawky, by saving my threats, and partly by entreaties, to procure
life at the risk of his own; and often fathered admission. My uncle bade him have a little
offences that I had committed, for which he patience, and he would let him in presently:
suffered severely, rather than I should feel but, if he pretended to move from that place,
the weight of the punishment I deserved. it should fare worse with the son of a b-
These two champions were the more willing his superior, on whom he intended only to
to engage in this enterprise, because they bestow a little wholesome chastisement for
intended to leave the school the next day as his barbarous usage of Rory, “to which,"
well as I; the first being ordered by his father said he, "you are no stranger.” By this
to return into the country, and the other time we had dragged the criminal to a post,
being bound apprentice to a barber, at a mar- to which Bowling tied him with a rope he
ket town not far off.

had provided on purpose, after having secured In the meantime, my uncle being informed his hands and stript his back. In this ludiof my master's behaviour to me, was enraged crous posture he stood (to the no small enterat his insolence, and vowed revenge so tainment of the boys, who crowded about heartily, that I could not refrain from telling him, and shouted with great exultation at the

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novelty of the sight), venting bitter impreca- set out for his ship, having settled the ne.
tions against the lieutenant, and reproaching cessary funds for my maintenance and edu.
his scholars with treachery and rebellion; cation.
when the usher was admitted, whom my
uncle accosted in this manner: “ Harkee,
Mr Syntax, I believe you are an honest man,

d'ye see and I have a respect for you—but
for all that, we must for our own security, I make great progress in


studies-am d'ye see, belay you for a short time." With caressed by every body-my female couthese words, he pulled out some fathoms of sins take notice of me-i reject their cord, which the honest man no sooner saw, invitationthey are incensed, and conthan he protested with great earnestness he spire against me I am left destitute by would allow no violence to be offered to him, a misfortune that befals my uncle-Gaw. at the same time accusing me of perfidy and ky's treacherymy revenge. ingratitude. But Bowling representing that it was in vain to resist, and that he did not As I was now capable of reflection, I began mean to use him with violence and indecency, to consider my precarious situation; that I but only to hinder him from raising the hue was utterly abandoned by those whose duty and cry against us, before we should be out it was to protect me; and that my sole deof their power, he allowed himself to be pendence was on the generosity of one man, bound to his own desk, where he sat a spec- who was not only exposed, by his profession, tator of the punishment inflicted on his prin- to continual dangers, which might one day cipal. My uncle having upbraided this arbi. deprive me of him for ever; but also (no trary wretch with his inhumanity to me, told doubt) subject to those vicissitudes of dispohim that he proposed to give him a little sition which a change of fortune usually discipline for the good of his soul; which he creates, or which a better acquaintance with immediately put in practice with great vigour the world might produce: for I always ascribed and dexterity. This smart application to his benevolence to the dictates of a heart as the pedant's withered posteriors gave him yet undebauched by a commerce with mansuch exquisite pain, that he roared like a mad kind. Alarmed at these considerations, I bull, danced, cursed, and blasphemed, like a resolved to apply myself with great care to frantic bedlamite. When the lieutenant my studies, and enjoy the opportunity in my thought himself sufficiently revenged, he took power: this I did with such success, that, in his leave of him in these words: “Now, the space of three years, I understood Greek friend, you'll remember me the longest day very well, was pretty far advanced in the you have to live I have given you a lesson mathematics, and no stranger to moral and that will let you know what flogging is, and natural philosophy; logic I made no account teach you to have more sympathy for the of; but, above all things, I valued myself on future-shout, boys, shout!” This ceremony my taste in the belles lettres, and a talent was no sooner over than my uncle proposed for poetry, which had already produced some they should quit the school, and convoy their pieces that met with a very favourable recep, old comrade Rory to a public house, about a tion. / These qualifications, added to a good mile from the village, where he would treat face and shape, acquired the esteem and them all. His offer being joyfully embraced, acquaintance of the most considerable people he addressed himself to Mr Syntax, and in town, and I had the satisfaction to find begged him to accompany us; but this invi- myself in some degree of favour with the tation he refused with great disdain, telling ladies; an intoxicating piece of good fortune my benefactor he was not the man he took to one of my amorous complexion ! which I him to be. “Well, well

, old surly,” replied obtained, or at least preserved, by gratifying my uncle, shaking his hand, “thou art an their propensity to scandal in lampooning honest fellow, notwithstanding; and if ever their rivals. Two of my female cousins lived I have the command of a ship, thou shalt be in this place with their mother, since the our schoolmaster, i'faith.” So saying, he death of their father, who left his whole for. dismissed the boys, and locking the door, tune equally divided between them ; so that, left the two preceptors to console one another; if they were not the most beautiful, they while we moved forwards on our journey, were at least the richest toasts in town, and attended by a numerous retinue, whom he received daily the addresses of all the beaux treated according to his promise. We parted and cavaliers of the country. Although I with many tears, and lay that night at an inn had hitherto been looked upon by them with on the road, about ten miles short of the town the most supercilious contempt, my character where I was to remain, at which we arrived now attracted their notice so much, that I next day, and I found I had no cause to com- was given to understand I might be honoured plain of the accommodations provided for me, with their acquaintance, if I pleased. The in being boarded at the house of an apothe reader will easily perceive, that this conde. cary, who had married a distant relation of scension either flowed from the hope of mak. my mother. In a few days after, my uncle ling my poetical capacity subservient to their

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