r

an undaunted air, at the sight of whose bloody | was laid up with the gout) received this rela-
weapon his antagonists fell back with pre- tion, after his long absence, with that cold-
cipitation, when he accosted their leader ness of civility which was peculiar to him;
thus: "Lookee, brother, your dogs have told him he was glad to see him, and desired
boarded me without provocation-what I did him to sit down. "Thank ye, thank ye, sir,
was in my own defence. So you had best I had as lief stand;" said my uncle, "for my
be civil, and let us shoot a-head clear of you." own part, I desire nothing of you; but if you
Whether the young squire misinterpreted have any conscience at all, do something for
my uncle's desire of peace, or was enraged this poor boy, who has been used at a very
at the fate of his hounds beyond his usual unchristian rate. Unchristian do I call it ?—
pitch of resolution,, I know not; but he I am sure the Moors in Barbary have more
snatched a flail from one of his followers, and humanity than to leave their little ones to
came up with a show of assaulting the lieu- want. I would fain know why my sister's
tenant, who, putting himself in a posture of son is more neglected than that there fair-
defence, proceeded thus: "Lookee, you lub-weather Jack;" (pointing to the young squire,
berly son of a w-e, if you come athwart me,
'ware of your gingerbread work; I'll be foul
of your quarter, d-n me." This declara-
tion, followed by a flourish of his hanger,
seemed to check the progress of the young
gentleman's choler, who, looking behind him,
perceived his attendants had slunk into the
house, shut the gate, and left him to decide
the contention by himself. Here a parley
ensued, which was introduced by my cousin's
asking, "Who the d-l are you?-What
do you want?-Some scoundrel of a seaman,
I suppose, who has deserted, and turned thief.
But don't think you shall escape, sirrah-I'll
have you hanged, you dog, I will-your blood
shall pay for that of my two hounds, you
raggamuffin. I would not have parted with
them to save your whole generation from
the gallows, you ruffian you." "None of
your jaw, you swab-none of your jaw,"
replied my uncle, "else I shall trim your
laced jacket for you-I shall rub you down
with an oaken towel, my boy,-I shall." So
saying, he sheathed his hanger and grasped
his cudgel. Meanwhile, the people of the
house being alarmed, one of my female cou-
sins opened a window, and asked what was
the matter! "The matter!" answered the
lieutenant, "no great matter, young woman.
I have business with the old gentleman, and
this spark, belike, won't allow me to come
alongside of him, that's all." After a few
minutes pause, we were admitted, and con-
ducted to my grandfather's chamber, through
a lane of my relations, who honoured me
with very significant looks as I passed along.
When we came into the judge's presence,
my uncle, after two or three sea-bows, ex-
pressed himself in this manner: "Your
servant-your servant. What cheer, father?
what cheer?—I suppose you don't know me-
mayhap you don't-my name is Tom Bowl-
ing-and this here boy, you look as if you
did not know him neither-'tis like you
mayn't. He's new rigged, i'faith! his cloth
don't now shake in the wind so much as it
wont to do. "Tis my nephew, d'ye see,
Roderick Random-your own flesh and blood,
old gentleman. Don't lag astern, you dog,'
pulling me forward. My grandfather (who

who, with the rest of my cousins, had followed us into the room). "Is not he as near akin to you as the other? Is he not much handsomer and better built than that great chuckle-head ?-Come, come, consider, old gentleman, you are going in a short time to give an account of your evil actions. Remember the wrongs you did his father, and make all the satisfaction in your power, before it be too late. The least thing you can do is to settle his father's portion on him." The young ladies, who thought themselves too much concerned to contain themselves any longer, set up their throats altogether against my protector,-"scurvy companion,-saucy tarpaulin,-rude, impertinent fellow!-did he think to prescribe to grandpapa? His sister's brat had been too well taken care of,-grandpapa was too just not to make a difference between an unnatural, rebellious son, and his dutiful loving children, who took his advice in all things ;"-and such expressions were vented against him with great violence, until the judge at length commanded silence. He calmly rebuked my uncle for his unmannerly behaviour, which he said he would excuse on account of his education; he told him he had been very kind to the boy, whom he had kept at school seven or eight years, although he was informed he made no progress in his learning, but was addicted to all manner of vice, which he rather believed, because he himself was witness to a barbarous piece of mischief he had committed on the jaws of his chaplain. But, however, he would see what the lad was fit for, and bind him apprentice to some honest tradesman or other, provided he would mend his manners, and behave for the future as became him. The honest tar (whose pride and indignation boiled within him) answered my grandfather, that it was true he had sent him to school, but it had cost him nothing, for he had never been at one shilling expense to furnish him with food, raiment, books, or other necessaries; so that it was not to be much wondered at, if the boy made small progress; and yet, whoever told him so, was a lying lub berly rascal, and deserved to be keel-hauled: for, though he (the lieutenant) did not under

eyes towards us, and Mr Bowling went on,
"here's poor Rory come to see you before
you die, and receive your blessing. What,
man! don't despair,-you have been a great
sinner, 'tis true; what then? There's a
righteous Judge above,-an't there?—He
minds me no more than a porpuss. Yes,
yes, he's a-going, the land crabs will have
him, I see that; his anchor's a-peak, i'faith."
This homely conversation scandalized the
company so much, and especially the parson,
who probably thought his province invaded,
that we were obliged to retire into another
room, where, in a few minutes, we were con-
vinced of my grandfather's decease, by a

stand those matters himself, he was well
informed as how Rory was the best scholar
of his age in all the country; the truth of
which he would maintain by laying a wager
of his whole half-year's pay on the boy's
head; (with these words he pulled out his
purse, and challenged the company).-" Nei-
ther is he predicted to vice, as you affirm,
but rather left like a wreck, d'ye see, at the
mercy of the wind and weather, by your
neglect, old gentleman. As for what hap-
pened to your chaplain, I am only sorry that
he did not knock out the scoundrel's brains,
instead of his teeth. By the Lord! if ever I
come up with him, he had better be in Green-
land, that's all. Thank you for your cour-dismal yell uttered by the young ladies in his
teous offer, of binding the lad apprentice to apartment; whither we immediately hastened,
a tradesman. I suppose you would make a and found his heir, who had retired a little
tailor of him-would you? I had rather see before into a closet, under pretence of giving
him hang'd, d'ye see. Come along, Rory, I vent to his sorrow, asking, with a counte-
perceive how the land lies, my boy,-let's nance beslubbered with tears, if his grandpapa
tack about, i'faith,-while I have a shilling was certainly dead?" Dead!" says my
thou shan't want a tester. B'wi'ye, old gen-uncle, looking at the body, "ay, ay, I'll war-
tleman, you're bound for the other world, but
I believe damnably ill provided for the voyage.
Thus ended our visit; and we returned to the
village, my uncle muttering curses all the
way against the old shark and the young fry
that surrounded him.

A FEW weeks after our first visit, we were informed that the old judge, at the end of a fit of thoughtfulness, which lasted three days, had sent for a notary, and made his will; that the disorder had mounted from his legs to his stomach; and being conscious of his approaching end, he had desired to see all his descendants without exception. In obedience to this summons, my uncle set out with me a second time, to receive the last benediction of my grandfather: often repeating by the road," Ey, ey, we have brought up the old hulk at last you shall see, you shall see the effect of my admonition." When we entered his chamber, which was crowded with his relations, we advanced to the bedside, where we found him in his last agonies, supported by two of his grand-daughters, who sat on each side of him sobbing most piteously, and wiping away the froth and slaver as it gathered on his lips, which they frequently kissed with a show of great anguish and affection. My uncle approached him with these words: "What! he's not a-weigh. How fare ye, how fare ye, old gentleman ?Lord have mercy upon your poor sinful soul." Upon which the dying man turned his languid

rant him as dead as a herring. Odd's fish!
now my dream is out, for all the world. I
thought I stood upon the forecastle, and saw
a parcel of carrion crows foul of a dead shark
that floated alongside, and the devil perching
on our sprit-sail-yard, in the likeness of a
blue bear,-who, d'ye see, jumped overboard
upon the carcass, and carried it to the bottom
in his claws." "Out upon thee, reprobate,"
cried the parson, "out upon thee, blasphem-
ous wretch!-Dost thou think his honour's
soul is in the possession of Satan?" The
clamour immediately arose, and my poor
uncle, being shouldered from one corner of
the room to the other, was obliged to lug out
in his own defence, and swear he would turn
out for no man, till such time as he knew
who had a title to send him adrift. "None
of your tricks upon travellers," said he;
"mayhap old buff has left my kinsman here
his heir-If he has, it will be better for his
miserable soul. Odd's bob: I'd desire no
better news. I'd soon make him a clear
ship, I warrant you." To avoid any further
disturbance, one of my grandfather's execu
tors, who was present, assured Mr Bowling,
that his nephew should have all manner of
justice; that a day should be appointed, after
the funeral, for examining the papers of the
deceased, in presence of all his relations:
till which time every desk and cabinet in
the house should remain close sealed; and
that he was very welcome to be witness to
this ceremony, which was immediately per-
formed to his satisfaction. In the meantime,
orders were given to provide mourning for
all the relations, in which number I was
included: but my uncle would not suffer me
to accept of it, until I should be assured
whether or not I had reason to honour his
memory so far. During this interval, the
conjectures of people with regard to the old
gentleman's will were various. As it was

1

CHAPTER V.

21

The schoolmaster uses me barbarously—I
form a project of revenge, in which I am
assisted by my uncle-I leave the village
-am settled at a university by his gene-
rosity.

well known he had, besides his landed estate, | to relish this amusement, replied, which was worth £700 per annum, six or your dogs may be d-d. I suppose you'll seven thousand pounds at interest, some find them with your old dad, in the latitude imagined that the whole real estate (which of hell. Come, Rory-about ship, my lad,he had greatly improved) would go to the we must steer another course, I think." young man whom he always entertained as And away we went. his heir; and that the money would be equally divided between my female cousins (five in Others were of opinion, number) and me. that as the rest of his children had been already provided for, he would only bequeath two or three hundred pounds to each of his grand-daughters, and leave the bulk of the sum to me, to atone for his unnatural usage of my father. At length the important hour arrived, and the will was produced in the midst of the expectants, whose looks and gestures formed a group that would have been very entertaining to an unconcerned spectator. But the reader can scarce conceive the astonishment and mortification that appeared, when the attorney pronounced aloud, the young squire sole heir of all his grandfather's estate, personal and real. My uncle, who had listened with great attention, sucking the head of his cudgel all the while, accompanied these words of the attorney with a stare and whew, that alarmed the whole assembly. The eldest and pertest of my female competitors, who had been always very officious about my grandfather's person, inquired with a faultering accent, and visage as yellow as an orange, "if there were no legacies?" and was answered, "none at all." Upon which she fainted away. The rest, whose expectations, perhaps, were not so sanguine, supported their disappointment with more resolution; though not without giving evident marks of indignation, and grief, at least as genuine as that which appeared in them at the old gentleman's death. My conductor, after having kicked with his heel for some time against the wainscot, began: "So, there's no legacy, friend: ha! here's an old succubus: but somebody's soul howls for it, d-n me!" The parson of the parish, who was one of the executors and had acted as ghostly director to the old man, no sooner heard this exclamation than he cried out, "Avaunt, unchristian reviler! avaunt!-wilt thou not allow the soul of his But this zealous honour to rest in peace?" pastor did not find himself so warmly seconded as formerly by the young ladies, who now joined my uncle against him, and accused him of having acted the part of a busy-body with their grandpapa; whose ears he had certainly abused by false stories to their preThe judice, or else he would not have neglected them in such an unnatural manner. young squire was much diverted with this scene, and whispered to my uncle, that, if he had not murdered his dogs, he would have shown him glorious fun, by hunting a black badger (so he termed the clergyman). The surly lieutenant, who was not in a humour

On our way back to the village, my uncle
spoke not a word during the space of a whole
hour, but whistled, with great vehemence,
the tune of Why should we quarrel for
riches, &c. his visage being contracted all
the while into a most formidable frown. At
length his pace increased to such a degree,
that I was left behind a considerable way.
Then he waited for me; and when I was
almost up with him, called out in a surly
tone, "Bear a hand, damme! must I bring-
to every minute for you, you lazy dog?"
Then laying hold of me by the arm, hauled
me along, until his good nature (of which
he had a great share) and reflection getting
the better of his passion, he said,-"Come,
my boy, don't be cast down,-the old rascal
is in hell,-that's some satisfaction; you shall
go to sea with me, my lad.-A light heart
and a thin pair of breeches goes through
the world, brave boys, as the song goes, eh!"
Though this proposal did not at all suit my
inclination, I was afraid of discovering my
aversion to it, lest I should disoblige the only
friend I had in the world; and he was so
much a seaman, that he never dreamt I could
have any objection to his design; consequently
gave himself no trouble in consulting my
approbation. But this resolution was soon
dropt, by the advice of our usher, who assured
Mr Bowling, it would be a thousand pities
to baulk my genius, which would certainly,
one day, make my fortune on shore, pro-
vided it received due cultivation. Upon
my board
which this generous tar determined (though
he could ill afford it) to give me a university
education, and accordingly settled
and other expenses, at a town not many
miles distant, famous for its colleges, whither
we repaired in a short time. But, before the
day of our departure, the schoolmaster, who
no longer had the fear of my grandfather
restraint, and not only abused me in the
before his eyes, laid aside all decency and
grossest language his rancour could suggest,
as a wicked, profligate, dull, beggarly mis-
creant, whom he had taught out of charity;
but also inveighed in the most bitter manner
against the memory of the judge (who, by
the by, had procured that settlement for him),

him the scheme I had concerted; which he heard with great satisfaction, at every sentence squirting out a mouthful of spittle, tinctured with tobacco, of which he constantly chewed a large quid. At last, pulling up his breeches, he cried," No, no, zounds! that won't do neither,-howsomever, 'tis a bold undertaking, my lad-that I must say, i'faith! but lookee, lookee, how dost propose to get clear off?-won't the enemy give chase, my boy?-ay, ay, that he will, I warrant,-and alarm the whole coast. Ah! God help thee, more sail than ballast, Rory. Let me alone for that,―leave the whole to me,-I'll show him the fore-top-sail, I will. If so be your shipmates are jolly boys, and won't flinch, you shall see, you shall see; egad, I'll play him a salt-water trick-I'll bring him to the gang-way, and anoint him with a cat-o'-ninetails; he shall have a round dozen doubled, my lad, he shall,—and be left lashed to his meditations."

hinting in pretty plain terms, that the old gentleman's soul was damned to all eternity for his injustice in neglecting to pay for my learning. This brutal behaviour, added to the sufferings I had formerly undergone, made me think it high time to be revenged of this insolent pedagogue. Having consulted my adherents, I found them all staunch in their promises to stand by me; and our scheme was this. In the afternoon preceding the day of my departure for the university, I resolved to take the advantage of the usher's going out to make water (which he regularly did at four o'clock), and shut the great door, that he might not come to the assistance of his superior. This being done, the assault was to be begun by my advancing to my master, and spitting in his face. I was to be seconded by two of the strongest boys in the school, who were devoted to me; their business was to join me in dragging the tyrant to a bench, over which he was to be laid, and his bare posteriors heartily We were very proud of our associate, who flogged with his own birch, which we pro- immediately went to work, and prepared the posed to wrest from him in the struggle; but instrument of his revenge with great skill and if we should find him too many for us all expedition; after which, he ordered our bagthree, we were to demand the assistance of gage to be packed up and sent off a day before our competitors, who should be ready to our attempt, and got horses ready to be reinforce us, or oppose any thing that might mounted, as soon as the affair should be over. be undertaken for the master's relief. One At length the hour arrived, when our auxiliary, of my principal assistants was called Jeremy seizing the opportunity of the usher's absence, Gawky, son and heir of a wealthy gentleman bolted in, secured the door, and immediately in the neighbourhood; and the name of the laid hold of the pedant by his collar, who other Hugh Strap, the cadet of a family bawled out "Murder! thieves!" with the which had given shoemakers to the village voice of a Stentor. Though I trembled all time out of mind. I had once saved Gawky's over like an aspen-leaf, I knew there was no life by plunging into a river, and dragging time to be lost, and accordingly got up, and him on shore, when he was on the point of summoned our associates to my assistance. being drowned. I had often rescued him Strap without any hesitation obeyed the sigfrom the clutches of those whom his insuf-nal, and seeing me leap upon the master's ferable arrogance had provoked to resentment back, ran immediately to one of his legs, he was not able to sustain; and many times which pulling with all his force, his dreadful saved his reputation and posteriors by per- adversary was humbled to the ground; upon forming his exercises at school; so that it is which Gawky, who had hitherto remained in not to be wondered at if he had a particular his place, under the influence of a universal regard for me and my interests. The at- trepidation, hastened to the scene of action, tachment of Strap flowed from a voluntary and insulted the fallen tyrant with a loud disinterested inclination, which had mani- huzza, in which the whole school joined. fested itself on many occasions in my behalf, This noise alarmed the usher, who, finding he having once rendered me the same ser-himself shut out, endeavoured, partly by vice that I had done Gawky, by saving my life at the risk of his own ; and often fathered offences that I had committed, for which he suffered severely, rather than I should feel the weight of the punishment I deserved. These two champions were the more willing to engage in this enterprise, because they intended to leave the school the next day as well as I; the first being ordered by his father to return into the country, and the other being bound apprentice to a barber, at a market town not far off.

In the meantime, my uncle being informed of my master's behaviour to me, was enraged at his insolence, and vowed revenge so heartily, that I could not refrain from telling

threats, and partly by entreaties, to procure
admission. My uncle bade him have a little
patience, and he would let him in presently:
but, if he pretended to move from that place,
it should fare worse with the son of a b-
his superior, on whom he intended only to
bestow a little wholesome chastisement for
his barbarous usage of Rory, "to which,"
said he, "you are no stranger." By this
time we had dragged the criminal to a post,
to which Bowling tied him with a rope he
had provided on purpose, after having secured
his hands and stript his back. In this ludi-
crous posture he stood (to the no small enter-
tainment of the boys, who crowded about
him, and shouted with great exultation at the

CHAPTER VI.

I make great progress in my studies-am caressed by every body-my female cousins take notice of me-I reject their invitation-they are incensed, and conspire against me-I am left destitute by a misfortune that befals my uncle-Gawky's treachery-my revenge.

novelty of the sight), venting bitter impreca- | set out for his ship, having settled the netions against the lieutenant, and reproaching cessary funds for my maintenance and eduhis scholars with treachery and rebellion; cation. when the usher was admitted, whom my uncle accosted in this manner: "Harkee, Mr Syntax, I believe you are an honest man, d'ye see and I have a respect for you-but for all that, we must for our own security, d'ye see, belay you for a short time." With these words, he pulled out some fathoms of cord, which the honest man no sooner saw, than he protested with great earnestness he would allow no violence to be offered to him, at the same time accusing me of perfidy and ingratitude. But Bowling representing that it was in vain to resist, and that he did not As I was now capable of reflection, I began mean to use him with violence and indecency, to consider my precarious situation; that I but only to hinder him from raising the hue was utterly abandoned by those whose duty and cry against us, before we should be out it was to protect me; and that my sole deof their power, he allowed himself to be pendence was on the generosity of one man, bound to his own desk, where he sat a spec- who was not only exposed, by his profession, tator of the punishment inflicted on his prin- to continual dangers, which might one day cipal. My uncle having upbraided this arbi- deprive me of him for ever; but also (no trary wretch with his inhumanity to me, told doubt) subject to those vicissitudes of dispohim that he proposed to give him a little sition which a change of fortune usually discipline for the good of his soul; which he creates, or which a better acquaintance with immediately put in practice with great vigour the world might produce: for I always ascribed and dexterity. This smart application to his benevolence to the dictates of a heart as the pedant's withered posteriors gave him yet undebauched by a commerce with mansuch exquisite pain, that he roared like a mad kind. Alarmed at these considerations, I bull, danced, cursed, and blasphemed, like a resolved to apply myself with great care to frantic bedlamite. When the lieutenant my studies, and enjoy the opportunity in my thought himself sufficiently revenged, he took power: this I did with such success, that, in his leave of him in these words: "Now, the space of three years, I understood Greek friend, you'll remember me the longest day very well, was pretty far advanced in the you have to live-I have given you a lesson mathematics, and no stranger to moral and that will let you know what flogging is, and natural philosophy; logic I made no account teach you to have more sympathy for the of; but, above all things, I valued myself on future shout, boys, shout!" This ceremony my taste in the belles lettres, and a talent was no sooner over than my uncle proposed for poetry, which had already produced some they should quit the school, and convoy their pieces that met with a very favourable recepold comrade Rory to a public house, about a tion. /These qualifications, added to a good mile from the village, where he would treat face and shape, acquired the esteem and them all. His offer being joyfully embraced, acquaintance of the most considerable people he addressed himself to Mr Syntax, and in town, and I had the satisfaction to find begged him to accompany us; but this invi-myself in some degree of favour with the tation he refused with great disdain, telling ladies; an intoxicating piece of good fortune my benefactor he was not the man he took to one of my amorous complexion! which I him to be. "Well, well, old surly," replied obtained, or at least preserved, by gratifying my uncle, shaking his hand, "thou art an their propensity to scandal in lampooning honest fellow, notwithstanding; and if ever their rivals. Two of my female cousins lived I have the command of a ship, thou shalt be in this place with their mother, since the our schoolmaster, i'faith." So saying, he death of their father, who left his whole fordismissed the boys, and locking the door, tune equally divided between them; so that, left the two preceptors to console one another; if they were not the most beautiful, they while we moved forwards on our journey, were at least the richest toasts in town, and attended by a numerous retinue, whom he received daily the addresses of all the beaux treated according to his promise. We parted and cavaliers of the country. Although I with many tears, and lay that night at an inn had hitherto been looked upon by them with on the road, about ten miles short of the town the most supercilious contempt, my character where I was to remain, at which we arrived now attracted their notice so much, that I next day, and I found I had no cause to com- was given to understand I might be honoured plain of the accommodations provided for me, with their acquaintance, if I pleased. The in being boarded at the house of an apothe-reader will easily perceive, that this condecary, who had married a distant relation of scension either flowed from the hope of makmy mother. In a few days after, my uncle ing my poetical capacity subservient to their