namely, razors. At my mentioning razors, I could perceive the captain's colour change, while Strap, pulling me by the sleeve, whispered, with great eagerness,-"No, no, no, for the love of God, don't make any such bargain. At length Weazel, recovering himself, turned towards me, and, with a ferocious countenance, asked,-"Who the devil are you? will you fight me?" With these words, putting himself in a posture, I was grievously alarmed at seeing the point of a sword within half a foot of my breast; and, springing to one side, snatched up a spit that stood in the chimney-corner, with which I kept my formidable adversary at bay, who made a great many half-longes, skipping backward at every push, till at last I pinned him up in a corner, to the no small diversion of the company. While he was in this situation, his wife entered, and, seeing her husband in these dangerous circumstances, uttered a dreadful scream; in this emergency, Weazel demanded a cessation, which was immediately granted: and at last was contented with the submission of Strap, who, falling upon his knees before him, protested the innocence of his intention, and asked pardon for the mistake he had committed. This affair being ended without bloodshed, we went to breakfast, but missed two of our company, namely, Miss Jenny and the usurer. As for the first, Mrs Weazel informed us, that she had kept her awake all night with her groans; and that when she arose in the morning, Miss Jenny was so much indisposed, that she could not proceed on her journey. At that instant, a message came from her to the master of the wagon, who immediately went into her chamber, followed by us all. She told him, in a lamentable tone, that she was afraid of a miscarriage, owing to the fright she received last night from the brutality of Isaac; and, as the event was uncertain, desired the usurer might be detained to answer for the consequence. Accordingly, this ancient Tarquin was found in the wagon, whither he had retired to avoid the shame of last night's disgrace, and brought by force into her presence. He no sooner appeared than she began to weep and sigh most piteously, and told us, if she died, she would leave her blood upon the head of that ravisher. Poor Isaac turned up his eyes and hands to heaven, prayed that God would deliver him from the machinations of that Jezebel; and assured us with tears in his eyes, that his being found in bed with her, was the result of her own invitation. The wagoner, understanding the case, advised Isaac to make it up, by giving her a sum of money to which advice he replied with great vehemence,-"A sum of money!-a halter for the cockatrice!" "Oh! 'tis very well," said Miss Jenny,-"I see it is in vain to attempt that flinty heart of his by fair means. Joey, be so good as to go to the justice, and tell him there is a sick person here, who wants to see him on an affair of consequence." At the name of justice, Isaac trembled, and bidding Joey stay, asked with a quavering voice, what she would have? She told him, that, as he had not perpetrated his wicked purpose, she would be satisfied with a small matter. And though the damage she might sustain in her health might be irreparable, she would give him a release for a hundred guineas. A hundred guineas!" cried he, in an ecstacy, "a hundred furies! where should a poor old wretch like me have a hundred guineas? If I had so much money, d'ye think I should be found travelling in a wagon at this season of the year?" "Come, come," replied Jenny, "none of your miserly artifice here. You think I don't know Isaac Rapine, the money broker in the Minories. Ah! you old rogue! many a pawn have you had of me and my acquaintance, which was never redeemed." Isaac, finding it was in vain to disguise himself, offered twenty shillings for a discharge, which she absolutely refused under fifty pounds: at last, however, she was brought down to five, which he paid with great reluctancy, rather than be prosecuted for a rape. After which accommodation the sick person made shift to get into the wagon, and we set forward in great tranquility, Strap being accommodated with Joey's horse, the driver himself chusing to walk. This morning and forenoon we were entertained with an account of the valour of Captain Weazel, who told us he had once knocked down a soldier that made game of him; tweaked a drawer by the nose, who found fault with his picking his teeth with a fork, at another time; and that he had moreover challenged a cheesemonger, who had the presumption to be his rival:-for the truth of which exploits he appealed to his wife. She confirmed whatever he said, and observed,-"The last affair happened that very day on which I received a love-letter from squire Gobble; and don't you remember, my dear, I was prodigiously sick that very night with eating ortolans, when my lord Diddle took notice of my complexion's being altered, and my lady was so alarmed that she had well nigh fainted." "Yes, my dear," replied the captain, "you know my lord said to me with a sneer, Billy, Mrs Weazle is certainly breeding.' And I answered cavalierly,My lord, I wish I could return the compli ment.' Upon which the whole company broke out into an immoderate fit of laughter; and my lord, who loves a repartee dearly, came round and bussed me." We travelled in this manner five days, without interruption, or meeting any thing worth notice. Jenny (who soon recovered her spirits) entertaining us every day with diverting songs, of which she could sing a great number; and rallying her old gallant, who, notwithstanding, would never be reconciled to her. On Miss the sixth day, while we were about to sit | immediately knew him, and acquainted Joey down to dinner, the innkeeper came and told with some particulars of his character. That us that three gentlemen, just arrived, had he had served my lord Frizzle in quality of ordered the victuals to be carried to their valet-de-chambre many years, while he lived apartment, although he had informed them separate from his lady: but, upon their reconthat they were bespoke by the passengers in ciliation, she expressly insisted upon Weathe wagon. To which information they zel's being turned off, as well as the woman had replied,—"The passengers in the wag- he kept; when his lordship, to get rid of on might be damned, their betters must be them both with a good grace, proposed that served before them-they supposed it would he should marry his mistress, and he would be no hardship on such travellers to dine upon procure a commission for him in the army; bread and cheese for one day." This was a this expedient was agreed to; and Weazle is terrible disappointment to us all: and we laid now, by his lordship's interest, ensign in our heads together how to remedy it: when -'s regiment. I found he and I had the Miss Jenny observed that captain Weazel, same sentiments with regard to Weazel's being by profession a soldier, ought in this courage, which we resolved to put to the case to protect and prevent us from being trial, by alarming the passengers with the insulted. But the captain excused himself, cry of "a highwayman!" as soon as a saying, he would not for all the world be horseman should appear. This scheme we known to have travelled in a wagon; swear- put in practice towards the dusk, when we ing, at the same time, that, could he appear descried a man on horseback approaching us. with honour, they should eat his sword soon- Joey had no sooner intimated to the people er than his provision. Upon this declaration, in the wagon, that he was afraid we should Miss Jenny, snatching his weapon, drew it, all be robbed, than a general consternation and ran immediately into the kitchen, where arose: Strap jumped out of the wagon, and she threatened to put the cook to death if he hid himself behind a hedge. The usurer put did not send the victuals into our chamber forth ejaculations, and made a rustling among immediately. The noise she made brought the straw, which made us conjecture he had the three strangers down, one of whom no hid something under it. Mrs Weazel, wringsooner perceived her, than he cried," Ha! ing her hands, uttered lamentable cries: and Jenny Ramper! what the devil brought thee the captain, to our great amazement, began hither?" 66 My dear Jack Rattle!" replied to snore; but this artifice did not succeed; she, running into his arms, "is it you? then for Miss Jenny, shaking him by the shoulder, Weazle may go to hell for a dinner-I shall bawled out,-"'Sdeath! captain, is this a dine with you." They consented to this time to snore, when we are going to be robproposal with a great deal of joy; and we bed? get up, for shame, and behave like & were on the point of being reduced to a very soldier and a man of honour." Weazel preuncomfortable meal, when Joey, understand-tended to be in a great passion for being ing the whole affair, entered the kitchen, disturbed, and swore he would have his nap with a pitchfork in his hand, and swore he out if all the highwaymen in England surwould be the death of any man who should rounded him. "D-n my blood! what are pretend to seize the victuals prepared for you afraid of?" continued he, at the same the wagon. This menace had like to have time trembling with such agitation, that the produced fatal consequences: the three whole carriage shook. This singular piece strangers drawing their swords, and being of behaviour incensed Miss Ramper so much, joined by their servants, and we ranging our- that she cried.-"D-n your pitiful soul, you selves on the side of Joey; when the landlord are as arrant a poltroon as ever was druminterposing, offered to part with his own din-med out of a regiment. Stop the wagon, ner to keep the peace, which was accepted Joey,—let me out, and, by G-d, if I have by the strangers; and we sat down to table rhetoric enough, the thief shall not only take without any further molestation. In the your purse, but your skin also." So saying, afternoon, I chose to walk along with Joey, she leaped out with great agility. By this and Strap took my place. Having entered time the horseman came up with us, and into a conversation with this driver, I soon happened to be a gentleman's servant, well found him to be a merry, facetious, good-known to Joey, who communicated the natured fellow, and withal very arch: he informed me, that Miss Jenny was a common girl upon the town; who falling into company with a recruiting officer, he carried her down in the stage-coach from London to Newcastle, where he had been arrested for debt, and was now in prison; upon which she was fain to return to her former way of life, by this conveyance. He told me, likewise, that one of the gentlemen's servants whom we left at the inn, having accidentally seen Weazel, scheme, and desired him to carry it on a officer: I'll have him bound over to the peace." This second sneer procured another laugh against him, and he remained crest-fallen during the remaining part of our journey. CHAPTER XIII. Strap and I are terrified by an apparition -Strap's conjecture-the mystery explained by Joey-we arrive at London-our dress and appearance described-we are insulted in the street-an adventure in an ale-house-we are imposed upon by a waggish footman-set to rights by a tobacconist-take lodgings-dive for a dinner-an accident at our ordinary. WE arrived at our inn, supped, and went to bed; but Strap's distemper continuing, he was obliged to rise in the middle of the night, and taking the candle in his hand, which he had left burning for the purpose, he went down to the house of office, whence in a short time he returned in a great hurry, with his hair standing on end, and a look betoken "Who's that sobbing in the other corner?" bling. This piece of satire occasioned a (said the supposed highwayman). "A poor great deal of mirth at Weazel's expense, who unfortunate woman," answered Mrs Weazel, muttered a great many oaths, and threatened "upon whom I beg you, for Christ's sake, to cut Isaac's throat. The usurer, taking to have compassion." "Are you maid or hold of this menace, said,-" Gentlemen and wife?" said he. "Wife, to my sorrow," ladies, I take you all to witness, that my cried she. "Who or where is your hus-life is in danger from this bloody-minded band?" continued he. "My husband," replied Mrs Weazel," is an officer in the army, and was left sick at the last inn where we dined." 66 You must be mistaken, madam," said he, "for I myself saw him get into the wagon this afternoon. But pray what smell is that? sure your lap-dog has befouled himself;-let me catch hold of the nasty cur, I'll teach him better manners." Here he laid hold of one of Weazel's legs, and pulled him out from under his wife's petticoats, where he had concealed himself. The poor trembling captain, being detected in this inglorious situation, rubbed his eyes, and, affecting to wake out of sleep, cried, "What's the matter?-what's the matter?" "The matter is not much," answered the horseman, "I only called in to inquire after your health, and so adieu, most noble captain." So saying, he clapped spurs to his horse, and was out of sight in a moment. It was some time before Weazel could recollect himself, but at length, re-assuming the big look, he said "D-n the fellow! why did he ride away before I had time to ask him how his lord and lady do?-don't you remember Tom, my dear?" addressing himself to his wife. "Yes," replied she, "I think I do remembering horror and astonishment. Without speaksomething of the fellow; but you know I seldom converse with people of his station." "Heyday!" cried Joey, do yaw knaw the young mon, coptain?" "Know him," said Weazel, "many a time has he filled a glass of Burgundy for me at my lord Trippet's table." "And what may his neame be, coptain?" said Joey. "His name!-his name," replied Weazel, "is Tom Rinser." "Waunds?" cried Joey, "a has changed his own neame then! for I'se lay a wager he was christened John Trotter." This observation—"Christ have mercy upon us! there he raised a laugh against the captain, who seem- comes." At this instant a monstrous overed very much disconcerted; when Isaac broke grown raven entered our chamber, with bells silence, and said, "It was no matter who or at his feet, and made directly towards our what he was, since he has not proved the bed. As this creature is reckoned in our robber we suspected; and we ought to bless country a common vehicle for the devil and God for our narrow escape." "Bless God," witches to play, their pranks in, I verily believsaid Weazel, "bless the devil! for what? ed we were haunted, and in a violent fright had he been a highwayman, I should have shrunk under the bed-clothes. This terrible eat his blood, body and guts, before he had apparition leapt upon the bed, and, after givrobbed me, or any one in this diligence." ing us several severe dabs with its beak "Ha, ha, ha," cried Miss Jenny, "I believe through the blankets, hopped away and vanyou will eat all you kill indeed, captain." ished. Strap and I recommended ourselves The usurer was so well pleased at the event to the protection of Heaven with great deof this adventure, that he could not refrain votion, and, when we no longer heard the from being severe, and took notice that cap-noise, ventured to peep up and take breath. tain Weazel seemed to be a good christian, for he had armed himself with patience and resignation instead of carnal weapons, and worked out his salvation with fear and trem 66 ing a word, he set down the light and jumped into bed behind me, where he lay and trembled with great violence. When I asked him what was the matter, he replied with a broken accent,—“God have mercy on us? I have seen the devil." Though my prejudice was not quite so strong as his, I was not a little alarmed at this exclamation, and much more so, when I heard the sound of bells approaching our chamber, and felt my bedfellow cling close to me, uttering these words But we had not been long freed from this phantom, when another appeared that had well nigh deprived us both of our senses. We perceived an old man enter the room with a long white beard that reached to his middle; there was a certain wild peculiarity in his eyes and countenance, that did not savour of this world; and his dress consisted of a brown stuff coat buttoned behind, and at the wrists, with an odd fashioned cap of the same stuff upon his head. I was so amazed that I had not power to move my eyes from such a ghastly object, but lay motionless, and saw him come straight up to me: when he reached the bed he wrung his hands, and cried with a voice that did not seem to belong to a human creature,-"Where is Ralph ?" I made no reply; upon which he repeated, in an accent still more preternatural,-"Where is Ralpho?" He had no sooner pronounced these words, than I heard the sound of the bells at a distance; which the apparition having listened to, tripped away, and left me almost petrified with fear. It was a good while before I could recover myself so far as to speak; and when at length I turned to Strap, I found him in a fit, which, however, did not last long. When he came to himself, I asked his opinion of what had happened: and he assured me, that the first must certainly be the soul of some person damned, which appeared by the chains about his legs (for his fears had magnified the creature to the bigness of a horse, and the sound of small morrice-bells to the clanking of massy chains). As for the old man, he took it to be the spirit of somebody murdered long ago in this place, which had power granted it to torment the assassin in the shape of a raven, and that Ralpho was the name of the said murderer. Although I had not much faith in this interpretation, I was too much troubled to enjoy any sleep; and in all my future adventures never passed a night so ill. In the morning, Strap imparted the whole affair to Joey, who, after an immoderate fit of laughter, explained the matter, by telling him the old man was the landlord's father, who had been an idiot some years, and diverted himself with a tame raven, which, it seems, had hopped away from his apartment in the night, and induced him to follow it to our chamber, where he had inquired after it, under the name of Ralpho. Nothing remarkable happened during the remaining part of our journey, which continued six or seven days longer: at length we entered the great city, and lodged all night at the inn where the wagon put up. Next morning all the passengers parted different ways, while my companion and I sallied out to inquire for the member of parliament to whom I had a letter of recommendation from Mr Crab. As we had discharged our lodging at the inn, Strap took up our baggage, and marched behind me in the street with the knapsack on his back, as usual, so that we made a very whimsical appearance. I had dressed myself to the greatest advantage; that is, put on a clean ruffled shirt, and my best thread stockings: my hair (which was of the deepest red) hung down upon my shoulders, as lank and straight as a pound of candles; and the skirts of my coat reached to the middle of my leg; my waistcoat and breeches were of the same piece, and cut in the same taste; and my hat very much resembled a barber's basin, in the shallowness of the crown and narrowness of the brim. Strap was habited in a much less awkward manner; but a shortcrop-eared wig, that very much resembled Scrub's in the play, and the knapsack on his back, added to what is called a queer phiz, occasioned by a long chin, hook nose, and high cheek-bones, rendered him on the whole a very fit subject of mirth and pleasantry. As we walked along, Strap, at my desire, inquired of a carman whom we met, whereabouts Mr Cringer lived; and was answered by a stare accompanied with the word"anan !" upon which I came up in order to explain the question, but had the misfortune to be unintelligible likewise, the carman damning us for a lousy Scotch guard, and whipping his horses, with a-"gee. ho!" which nettled me to the quick, and roused the indignation of Strap so far, that after the fellow was gone a good way, he told me he would fight him for a farthing. While we were deliberating upon what was to be done, a hackney coachman driving softly along, and perceiving us standing by the kennel, came up close to us, and calling, "a coach, master?" by a dexterous management of the reins, made his horses stumble in the wet, and bedaub us all over with mud; after which exploit, he drove on, applauding himself with a hearty laugh, in which several people joined, to my great mortification; but one more compassionate than the rest, seeing us strangers, advised me to go into an ale house and dry myself. I thanked him for his advice, which I immediately complied with; and going into the house he pointed out, called for a pot of beer, and sat down by a fire in the public room, where we cleaned ourselves as well as we could. In the mean time a wag, who sat in a box smoking his pipe, understanding by our dialect that we were from Scotland, came up to me, and, with a grave countenance, asked how long I had been caught? As I did not know the meaning of this question, I made no answer, and he went on, saying, it could not be a great while, for my tail was not yet cut; at the same time taking hold of my hair, and tipping the wink to the rest of the company, who seemed highly entertained with his wit. I was incensed at this usage, but afraid of resenting it, because I happened to be in a strange place, and perceived the person who spoke to me was a brawny fellow, for whom I thought myself by no means a match. However, Strap, having either more courage or less caution, could not put up with the | his countenance, before he opened his mouth; insults that I suffered, but told him, in a in which opinion I acquiesced, ascribing his peremptory tone," he was an uncivil fellow good manners to the company he daily saw for making so free with his betters." Then in the house were he served. We followed the wit going towards him, asked what he his directions punctually, in turning to the had got in his knapsack?" Is it oatmeal or left and to the right, and to the left again; brimstone, Sawney?" said he, seizing him but, instead of seeing a lane before us, found by the chin, which he shook, to the inexpress- ourselves at the side of the river, a circumible diversion of all present. My companion, stance that perplexed us not a little; and my feeling himself assaulted in such an oppro- fellow-traveller ventured to pronounce that brious manner, disengaged himself in a trice, we had certainly missed our way. By this and lent his antagonist such a box on the time we were pretty much fatigued with our ear, as made him stagger to the other side walk, and not knowing how to proceed, I of the room; and, in a moment, a ring was went into a small snuff-shop hard by, encourformed for the combatants. Seeing Strap aged by the sign of the Highlander, where beginning to strip, and my blood being heat- I found, to my inexpressible satisfaction, ed with indignation, which banished all other the shopkeeper was my countryman. He thoughts, I undressed myself to the skin in was no sooner informed of our peregrination, an instant, and declared, that as the affront and the directions we had received from the that occasioned the quarrel was offered to footman, than he informed us we had been me, I would fight it out myself; upon which imposed upon, telling us Mr Cringer lived one or two cried out,-" that's a brave Scotch in the other end of the town; and that it. boy; you shall have fair play, by G-d." would be to no purpose for us to go thither This assurance gave me fresh spirits, and to-day, for by that time he was gone to the going up to my adversary, who, by his pale house. I then asked if he could recommend countenance, did not seem much inclined to us to a lodging. He readily gave us a line the battle, I struck him so hard on the sto- to one of his acquaintance who kept a chandmach, that he reeled over a bench, and fell ler's shop not far from St Martin's lane; to the ground. Then I attempted to keep there we hired a bed-room, up two pair of him down, in order to improve my success, stairs, at the rate of 2s, per week, so very according to the manner of my own country, small, that, when the bed was let down, we but was restrained by the spectators, one of were obliged to carry out every other piece whom endeavoured to raise up my opponent, of furniture that belonged to the apartment, but in vain, for he protested he would not and use the bedstead by way of chairs. About fight, for he was not quite recovered of a dinner-time, our landlord asked us how we late illness. I was very well pleased with proposed to live? to which interrogation we this excuse, and immediately dressed myself, answered, that we would be directed by him. having acquired the good opinion of the "Well, then," says he, "there are two ways company for my bravery, as well as of my of eating in this town, for people of your comrade Strap, who shook me by the hand, condition, the one more creditable and expenand wished me joy of the victory. After sive than the other: the first is, to dine at an having drank our pot, and dried our clothes, eating-house frequented by well-dressed peowe inquired of the landlord if he knew Mr ple only; and the other is called diving, Cringer, the member of parliament, and practised by those who are either obliged or were amazed at his replying in the negative; inclined to live frugally." I gave him to for we imagined he must be altogether as understand that, provided the last was not conspicuous here as in the borough he repre- infamous, it would suit much better with sented; but he told us we might possibly our circumstances than the other. hear of him as we passed along. We betook mous!" cried he. "God forbid! there are ourselves, therefore, to the street, where, many creditable people, rich people, aye, seeing a footman standing at a door, we and fine people, that dive every day. I made up to him, and asked if he knew where have seen many a pretty gentleman with a our patron lived? This member of the party- laced waistcoat dine in that manner very coloured fraternity, surveying us both very comfortably for three pence half-penny, and minutely, said he knew Mr Cringer very well, go afterwards to the coffee-house, where he and bade us turn down the first street on our made a figure with the best lord in the land left, then turn to the right, and then to the-but your own eyes shall bear witness-I left again, after which perambulation we will go along with you to-day, and introduce would observe a lane, through which we must pass, and at the other end we should find an alley that leads to another street, where we should see the sign of the Thistle and three pedlars, and there he lodged. We thanked him for his information, and went forwards, Strap telling me, that he knew this person to be an honest friendly man by “Infa you." He accordingly conducted us to a certain lane, where stopping, he bade us observe him, and do as he did, and walking a few paces, dived into a cellar, and disappeared in an instant. I followed his example, and, descending very successfully, found myself in the middle of a cook's shop, almost suffocated with the steams of boiled beef, and |