formed, was in the neighbourhood; whither we accordingly went, and were so lucky as to find him at home. This gentleman, who had come from Scotland three or four years before, kept a school in town, where he taught the Latin, French, and Italian languages; but what he chiefly professed was the pronunciation of the English tongue, after a method more speedy and uncommon than any practised heretofore; and indeed, if his scholars spoke like their master, the latter part of his undertaking was certainly performed to a tittle; for, although I could easily understand every word of what I had heard hitherto since I entered England, three parts in four of his dialect were as unintelligible to me, as if he had spoke in the Arabic or Irish. He was a middle-sized man, and stooped very much, though not above the age of forty; his face frightfully pitted with the small-pox, and his mouth extended from ear to ear. He was dressed in a night gown of plaid, fastened about his middle with a serjeant's old sash, and a tie periwig, with a fore-top three inches high, in the fashion of King Charles II.'s reign. After he had received Strap (who was related to him) very courteously, he inquired of him who I was, and, being informed, took me by the hand, telling me he was at school with my father. When he understood my situa. tion, he assured me that he would do me all the service in his power, both by his advice and otherwise; and, while he spoke these words, eyed me with great attention, walking round me several times, and muttering,

surrounded by a company of hackney-coach- | call at his friend's house, which, we were inmen, chairmen, draymen, and a few footmen out of place or on board wages, who sat eating shin of beef, tripe, cow-heel, or sausages, at separate boards, covered with cloths which turned my stomach. While I stood in amaze, undetermined whether to sit down or walk upwards again, Strap in his descent missing one of the steps, tumbled headlong into this infernal ordinary, and overturned the cook as she carried a porringer of soup to one of the guests in her fall, she dashed the whole mess against the legs of a drummer belonging to the foot-guards, who happened to be in her way, and scalded him so miserably, that he started up, and danced up and down, uttering a volley of execrations that made my hair stand on end. While he entertained the company in this manner, with an eloquence peculiar to himself, the cook got up, and, after a hearty curse on the poor author of this mischance, who lay under the table scratching his rump with a woful countenance, emptied a salt-seller in her hand, and, stripping down the patient's stocking, which brought the skin along with it, applied the contents to the sore. This poultice was scarce laid on, when the drummer, who had begun to abate of his exclamation, broke forth into such a hideous yell, as made the whole company tremble; then seizing a pewter pint-pot that stood by him, squeezed the sides of it together, as if it had been made of pliant leather, grinding his teeth at the same time with a most horrible grin. Guessing the cause of this violent transport, I bade the woman wash off the salt, and bathe the part with oil, which she did, and procured him "O C-st! O C-st! fat a saight is here?" immediate ease. But here another difficulty I soon guessed the reason of his ejaculation, occurred, which was no other than the land- and said, "I suppose, sir, you are not lady's insisting on his paying for the pot he pleased with my dress?" Dress!" answerhad rendered useless. He swore he would ed he, "you may caal it fat you please in pay for nothing but what he had eaten, and your country, but I vaw to Gad 'tis a masbade her be thankful for his moderation, or querade here. No Christian will admit else he would prosecute her for damages. such a figure into his hawse. Upon my conStrap, foreseeing the whole affair would lie science, I wonder the dogs did not hunt you. at his door, promised to satisfy the cook, and Did you pass through St James's market? called for a dram of gin to treat the drummer, God bless my eye-saight! you look like a which entirely appeased him, and composed cousin-german of Ourang Outang." I began all animosities. After this accommodation, to be a little serious at this discourse, and our landlord and we sat down at a board, asked him if he thought I should obtain enand dined upon shin of beef most deliciously; trance to-morrow at the house of Mr Crinour reckoning amounting to two pence half-ger, on whom I chiefly depended for an penny each, bread and small beer included. introduction into business. Mr Cringer, Mr Cringer," (replied he, scratching his cheek,) "may be a very honest gentleman— I know nothing to the contrary; but is your sole dependence upon him? Who recomWe visit Strap's friend-description of him mended you to him?" I pulled out Mr Crab's -his advice-go to Mr Cringer's house letter, and told him the foundation of my -are denied admittance-an accident hopes; at which he stared at me, and repeatbefals Strap-his behaviour thereupon-ed-" C-st! I began to conceive bad an extraordinary adventure occurs, in the omens from this behaviour of his, and begged course of which I lose all my money. he would assist me with his advice, which he promised to give me frankly: and, as a speIn the afternoon my companion proposed to cimen, directed us to a periwig warehouse in

CHAPTER XIV.

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the neighbourhood, in order to be accommo- | man passing by me, stopped of a sudden, and dated; laying strong injunctions on me not took up something, which having examined, to appear before Mr Cringer till I had parted he turned, and presented it to me, with these with these carroty locks, which (he said) words:-" Sir, you have dropt half-a-crown." were sufficient to beget an antipathy against I was not a little surprised at this instance of me in all mankind. And, as we were going honesty, and told him it did not belong to me; to pursue this advice, he called me back, but he bade me recollect, and see if all my and bade me be sure to deliver my letter money was safe: upon which I pulled out into Mr Cringer's own hand. As we walked my purse (for I had bought one since I came along, Strap triumphed greatly in our recep- to town), and reckoning my money in my tion with his friend, who, it seems, had as- hand, which was now reduced to five guineas sured him he would, in a day or two, provide seven shillings and two pence, assured him I for him with some good master; and "now," had lost nothing. "Well, then," says he, says he, "you shall see how I shall fit you" so much the better-this is a God-send; and with a wig. There's ne'er a barber in Lon- as you two were present when I picked it up, don (and that's a bold word) can pawn a you are entitled to equal shares with me." I rotten caul, or a penny-weight of dead hair, was astonished at these words, and looked upon me." And indeed this zealous adherent upon this person to be a prodigy of integrity, did wrangle so long with the merchant, that but absolutely refused to take any part of the he was desired twenty times to leave the sum. "Come, gentlemen," said he, “you shop, and see if he could get one cheaper are too modest-I see you are strangers; but elsewhere. At length I made choice of a you shall give me leave to treat you with a good handsome bob, for which I paid ten whet this cold, raw morning.' I would shillings, and returned to our lodging, where have declined this invitation, but Strap whisStrap in a moment rid me of that hair which pered to me that the gentleman would be afhad given the schoolmaster so much offence. fronted, and I complied. "Where shall we We got up next day betimes, having been go?" said the stranger, "I am quite ignoinformed that Mr Cringer gave audience by rant of this part of the town." I informed hin candle-light to all his dependents, he himself that we were in the same situation; upon being obliged to attend the levee of my Lord which he proposed to go into the first publicTerrier at break of day, because his lordship house we should find open; and, as we walkmade one at the minister's between eight and ed together, he began in this manner:-"I nine o'clock. When we came to Mr Crin- find by your tongues you are from Scotland, ger's door, Strap, to give me an instance of gentlemen. My grandmother by the father's his politeness, ran to the knocker, which he side was of your country; and I am so preemployed so loud and so long, that he alarm- possessed in its favour, that I never meet a ed the whole street; and a window opening Scotchman but my heart warms. The Scots in the second story of the next house, a are a very brave people. There is scarce a chamber-pot was discharged upon him so great family in the kingdom that cannot effectually, that the poor barber was wet to boast of some exploits performed by its anthe skin, while I, being luckily at some dis- cestors many hundred years ago. There's tance, escaped the unsavoury deluge. In the your Douglases, Gordons, Campbells, Hammean time, a footman opening the door, and iltons. We have no such ancient families seeing nobody in the street but us, asked, with here in England. Then you are all very well a stern countenance, if it was I who made educated. I have known a pedlar talk in such a damned noise, and what I wanted? Greek and Hebrew as well as if they had I told him I had business with his master, been his mother-tongue. And for honesty, I whom I desired to see. Upon which he once had a servant, his name was Gregory clapped the door in my face, telling me, I Macgregor, I would have trusted him with must learn better manners before I could have untold gold." This eulogium on my native access to his master. Vexed at this disap-country gained my affection so strongly, that pointment, I turned my resentment against I believe I could have gone to death to serve Strap, whom I sharply reprimanded for his presumption; but he, not in the least regarding what I said, wrung the urine out of his periwig, and lifting up a large stone, flung it with such force against the street door of the house from whence he had been bedew ed, that the lock giving way, it flew wide open, and he took to his heels, leaving me to follow him as I could. Indeed there was no time for deliberation; I therefore pursued him with all the speed I could exert, until we found ourselves, about the dawn, in a street we did not know. Here as we wandered along, gaping about, a very decent sort of a

the author; and Strap's eyes swam in tears. At length, as we passed through a dark narrow lane, we perceived a public-house, which we entered, and found a man sitting by the fire smoking a pipe, with a pint of purl before him. Our new acquaintance asked us if ever we had drunk egg-flip? to which question we answered in the negative; he assured us of a regale, and ordered a quart to be prepared, calling for pipes and tobacco at the same time. We found this composition very palatable, and drank heartily; the con. versation (which was introduced by the gentleman) turning upon the snares that young

66

tion nettled me so much, that I challenged him to a game of piquet for a crown; and he was with difficulty persuaded to accept the invitation. This contest ended in less than an hour, to my inexpressible affliction, who lost every shilling of my own money, Strap absolutely refusing to supply me with a sixpence. The gentleman, at whose request we had come in, perceiving, by my disconsolate looks, the situation of my heart, which well nigh bursted with grief and resentment when the other stranger got up and went away with my money, began in this manner:-"I am truly afflicted at your bad luck, and would willingly repair it, was it in my power. But what in the name of goodness could provoke you to tempt your fate so long? It is always a maxim with

go, and to stop whenever fortune shifts about. You are a young man, and your passions too impetuous; you must learn to govern them better: however, there is no experience like that which is bought; you will be the better for this the longest day you have to live. As for the fellow who has got your money, I don't half like him. Did you not observe me tip you the wink to leave off in time." I answered, no. "No!" continued he, "you was too eager to mind any thing but the game. But, harkee," said he, in a whisper, are you satisfied of that young man's honesty? his looks are a little suspicious; but I may be mistaken; he made a great many grimaces while he stood behind you; this is a very wicked town." I told him I was very well convinced of my comrade's integrity, and that the grimaces he mentioned were doubtless owing to his anxiety at my loss. "O ho! if that be the case, I ask his pardon,

inexperienced people are exposed to in this metropolis. He described a thousand cheats that are daily practised upon the ignorant and unwary; and warned us of them with so much good nature and concern, that we blessed the opportunity which threw us in his way. After we had put the can about for some time, our new friend began to yawn, telling us he had been up all night with a sick person; and proposed we should have recourse to some diversion to keep him awake. Suppose," said he, "we should take a hand at whist for pastime. But let me see, that won't do, there's only three of us, and I cannot play at any other game. The truth is, I seldom or never play, but out of complaisance, or at such a time as this, when I am in danger of falling asleep." Although I was not much inclined to gaming, I felt no aver-gamesters, to pursue success as far as it will sion to pass an hour or two at cards with a friend; and, knowing that Strap understood as much of the matter as I, made no scruple of saying, "I wish we could find a fourth hand." While we were in this perplexity, the person whom we found in the house at our entrance, overhearing our discourse, took the pipe from his mouth very gravely, and accosted us thus: "Gentlemen, my pipe is out, you see," (shaking the ashes into the fire), "and rather than you should be balked, I don't care if I take a hand with you for a trifle; but remember I won't play for any thing of consequence.' We accepted his proffer with pleasure. Having cut for partners, it fell to my lot to play with him against our friend and Strap, for three pence a game. We were so successful, that, in a short time, I was half a crown gainer; when the gentleman whom we had met in the street observing he had no luck to-day, proposed to leave off, or change partners. By this time I was inflamed with my good fortune and the expectation of improving it, as I perceived the two strangers played but indifferently: therefore I voted for giving him his revenge; and, cutting again, Strap and I (to our mutual satisfaction) happened to be partners. My good fortune attended me still and in less than an hour we had got thirty shillings of their money; for, as they lost, they grew the keener, and doubled stakes every time. At last the inconstant goddess began to veer about; and we were very soon stripped of all our gains, and about forty shillings of our own money. This loss mortified me extremely, and had a visible effect on the muscles of Strap's face, which lengthened apace; but our antagonists perceiving our condition, kindly permitted us to retrieve our loss, and console ourselves with a new acquisition. Then my companion wisely suggested it was time to be gone; upon which the person who had joined us in the house began to curse the cards, and muttered that we were indebted to fortune only for what we had got, no part of our success being owing to our good play. This insinua

landlord, see what's to pay." The reckoning amounted to eighteen pence, which having discharged, the gentleman shook us both by the hand, and saying he should be very glad to see us again, departed.

CHAPTER XV.

Strap moralizes-presents his purse to me -we inform our landlord of my misfortune-he unravels the mystery-I present myself to Cringer-he recommends and turns me over to Mr Staytape-I become acquainted with a fellow-dependent, who explains the characters of Cringer and Staytape-and informs me of the method to be pursued at the navy-office and surgeons' hall-Strap is employed.

In our way to our lodging, after a profound silence on both sides, Strap, with a hideous groan, observed that we had brought our pigs to a fine market. To this observation I made no reply, and he went on; "God send us well out of this place; we have not been

ness of mankind: and Strap, lifting up his eyes and hands to Heaven, prayed that God would deliver him from such scenes of iniquity; for surely the devil had set up his throne in London. Our landlord being curious to know what reception we had met with at Mr Cringer's, we acquainted him with the particulars; at which he shook his head, and told us, we had not gone the right way to work; that there was nothing to be done with a m-b-r of p-m-t without a bribe: that the servant was commonly infected with the master's disease, and expected to be paid for his work, as well as his betters. He, therefore, advised me to give the foot

in London eight-and-forty-hours, and I be- he had run down. Here the good man relieve we have met with eight-and-forty thou- counted a great many stories of people who sand misfortunes-we have been jeered, re- had been seduced, cheated, pilfered, beat, proached, buffeted, pissed upon, and at last nay even murdered, by such villains. I stripped of our money; and I suppose by-and-was confounded at the artifice and wickedby we shall be stripped of our skins. Indeed, as to the money part of it, that was owing to our own folly; Solomon says, bray a fool in a mortar, and he will never be wise. Ah! God help us, an ounce of prudence is worth a pound of gold." This was no time for him to tamper with my disposition, already mad with my loss, and inflamed with resentment against him for having refused me a little money to attempt to retrieve it. I therefore turned towards him with a stern countenance, and asked, "who he called fool?" Being altogether unaccustomed to such looks from me, he stood still, and stared in my face for some time; then, with some confusion, uttered, "Fool! I called nobody fool but my-man a shilling the next time I should desire self; I am sure I am the greatest fool of the two, for being so much concerned at other people's misfortunes: but nemo omnibus horis sapit-that's all that's all." Upon which a silence ensued, that brought us to our lodging, where I threw myself upon the bed in an agony of despair, resolved to perish rather than apply to my companion, or any other body, for relief; but Strap, who knew my temper, and whose heart bled within him at my distress, after some pause, came to the bedside, and, putting a leathern purse into my hand, burst into tears, crying, "I know what you think! but I scorn your thoughts. There's all I have in the world; take it, and I'll perhaps get more for you before that be done. If not, I'll beg for you, steal for you, go through the wide world with you, and starve with you; for though I be a poor cobler's son, I am no scout." I was so touched with the generous passion of this poor creature, that I could not refrain from weeping also; and we mingled our tears together for some time. Upon examining the purse, I found in it two half-guineas and half a crown, which I would have returned to him, saying, he knew better than I how to manage it; but he absolutely refused my proposal, and told me it was more reasonable and decent that he should depend upon me, who was a gentleman, than that I should be controlled by him. After this friendly contest was over, and our minds more at ease, we informed our landlord of what had happened to us, taking care to conceal the extremity to which we were reduced. He no sooner heard the story, than he assured us we had been grievously imposed upon by a couple of sharpers, who were associates; and that this polite, honest, friendly, humane person, who had treated us so civilly, was no other than a rascally money-matter," continued he, "to procure a wardropper, who made it his business to decoy strangers in that manner to one of his own haunts, where an accomplice or two were always waiting to assist in pillaging the prey

admittance to my patron, or else I should scarce find an opportunity to deliver my letter. Accordingly, next morning, when the door was opened, I slipt a shilling into his hand, and told him I had a letter for his master. I found the good effects of my liberality: for the fellow let me in immediately, and taking the letter out of my hand, desired me to wait in a kind of passage for an answer. In this place I continued standing for three quarters of an hour, during which time I saw a great many young fellows, whom I formerly knew in Scotland, pass and repass, with an air of familiarity, in their way to and from the audience chamber; while I was fain to stand shivering in the cold, and turn my back to them, that they might not perceive the lowness of my condition. At length Mr Cringer came out to see a young gentleman to the door, who was no other than Squire Gawky, dressed in a very gay suit of clothes: at parting, Mr Cringer shook him by the hand, and told him he hoped to have the pleasure of his company at dinner; then turning about towards me, asked what were my commands? When he understood I was the person who had brought the letter from Mr Crab, he affected to recollect my name, which, however, he pretended he could not do, till he had consulted the letter again; to save him that trouble, I told him my name was Random. Upon which he went on, "Ay, ay, Random, Random, Random-I think I remember the name;" and very well he might, for this very individual Mr Cringer had many a time rode before my grandfather's cloak-bag, in quality of a footman. "Well," says he, “you propose to go on board a manof-war as surgeon's mate." I replied by a low bow. "I believe it will be a difficult

rant, there being already such a swarm of Scotch surgeons at the navy office, in expectation of the next vacancy, that the commissioners are afraid of being torn to pieces,

and have actually applied for a guard to pro- | advice that may be serviceable; for I have tect them. However, some ships will soon be put in cominission, and then we shall see what's to be done." So saying, he left me, exceedingly mortified at the different reception Mr Gawky and I had met with from this upstart, proud, mean member, who, I imagined, would have been glad of an opportunity to be grateful for the obligations he owed to my family.