surrounded by a company of hackney-coach- | call at his friend's house, which, we were in. men, chairmen, draymen, and a few footmen formed, was in the neighbourhood; whither out of place or on board wages, who sat eat- we accordingły went, and were so lucky as ing shin of beef, tripe, cow-heel, or sausages, to find him at home. This gentleman, who at separate boards, covered with cloths which had come from Scotland three or four years turned my stomach. While I stood in amaze, before, kept a school in town, where he undetermined whether to sit down or walk taught the Latin, French, and Italian lanupwards again, Strap in his descent missing guages; but what he chiefly professed was one of the steps, tumbled headlong into this the pronunciation of the English tongue, infernal ordinary, and overturned the cook after a method more speedy and uncommon as she carried a porringer of soup to one of than any practised heretofore; and indeed, the guests : in her fall, she dashed the whole if his scholars spoke like their master, the mess against the legs of a drummer belong- latter part of his undertaking was certainly ing to the foot-guards, who happened to be performed to a tittle ; for, although I could in her way, and scalded him so miserably, easily understand every word of what I had that he started up, and danced up and down, heard hitherto since I entered England, uttering a volley of execrations that made three parts in four of his dialect were as unmy hair stand on end. While he entertained intelligible to me, as if he had spoke in the the company in this manner, with an elo. Arabic or Irish. He was a middle-sized man, quence peculiar to himself, the cook got up, and stooped very much, though not above and, after a hearty curse on the poor author the age of forty; his face frightfully pitted of this mischance, who lay under the table with the small-pox, and his mouth extended scratching his rump with a woful counte- from ear to ear. He was dressed in a night nance, emptied a salt-seller in her hand, and, gown of plaid, fastened about his middle stripping down the patient's stocking, which with a serjeant's old sash, and a tie periwig, brought the skin along with it, applied the with a fore-top three inches high, in the contents to the sore. This poultice was fashion of King Charles II.'s reign. After scarce laid on, when the drummer, who had he had received Strap (who was related to begun to abate of his exclamation, broke forth him) very courteously, he inquired of him into such a hideous yell, as made the whole who I was, and, being informed, took me by company tremble; then seizing a pewter the hand, telling me he was at school with pint-pot that stood by him, squeezed the sides my father. When he understood my situa. of it together, as if it had been made of pliant tion, he assured me that he would do me all leather, grinding his teeth at the same time the service in his power, both by his advice with a most horrible grin. Guessing the and otherwise; and, while he spoke these cause of this violent transport, I bade the words, eyed me with great attention, walkwoman wash off the salt, and bathe the part ing round me several times, and muttering, with oil, which she did, and procured him “OC-st! O C-st! fat a saight is here?" immediate ease. But here another difficulty I soon guessed the reason of his ejaculation, occurred, which was no other than the land and said, "I suppose, sir, you are not lady's insisting on his paying for the pot he pleased with my dress?" Dress!” answer. had rendered useless. He swore he woulded he, “you may caal it fat you please in pay for nothing but what he had eaten, and your country, but I vaw to Gad 'tis a masbade her be thankful for his moderation, or querade here. No Christian will admit else he would prosecute her for damages. such a figure into his hawse. Upon my conStrap, foreseeing the whole affair would lie science, I wonder the dogs did not hunt you. at his door, promised to satisfy the cook, and Did you pass through Si James's market? called for a dram of gin to treat the drummer, God bless my eye-saight! you look like a which entirely appeased him, and composed cousin-german of Ourang Outang.” I began all animosities. After this accommodation, to be a little serious at this discourse, and our landlord and we sat down at a board, asked him if he thought I should obtain en. and dined upon shin of beef most deliciously; trance to-morrow at the house of Mr Crin. our reckoning amounting to two pence half- ger, on whom I chiefly depended for an penny each, bread and small beer included. introduction into business. “Mr Cringer,

Mr Cringer,” (replied he, scratching his

cheek,) "may be a very honest gentlemanCHAPTER XIV.

I know nothing to the contrary, but is your

sole dependence upon him? Who recomWe visit Strap's friend_description of him mended you to him?" I pulled out Mr Crab's

-his advice-go to Mr Cringer's house letter, and told him the foundation of my -are denied admittance-an accident hopes; at which he stared at me, and repeat. befals Strap his behaviour thereupon- ed—“C-st!”. I began to conceive bad an extraordinary adventure occurs, in the omens from this behaviour of his, and begged course of which I lose all my money. he would assist me with his advice, which he

promised to give me frankly: and, as a speIn the afternoon my companion proposed to cimen, directed us to a periwig warehouse in


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the neighbourhood, in order to be accommo- | man passing by me, stopped of a sudden, and dated ; laying strong injunctions on me not took up something, which having examined, to appear before Mr Cringer till I had parted he turned, and presented it to me, with these with these carroty locks, which (he said) words:—“Sir, you have dropt half-a-crown.” were sufficient to beget an antipathy against I was not a little surprised at this instance of me in all mankind. And, as we were going honesty, and told him it did not belong to me; to pursue this advice, he called me back, but he bade me recollect, and see if all my and bade me be sure to deliver my letter money was safe : upon which I pulled out into Mr Cringer's own hand. As we walked my purse (for I had bought one since I came along, Strap triumphed greatly in our recep to town), and reckoning my money in my tion with his friend, who, it seems, had as- hand, which was now reduced to five guineas sured him he would, in a day or two, provide seven shillings and two pence, assured him I for him with some good master; and now," had lost nothing. “Well, then,” says he, says he, “you shall see how I shall fit you so much the better-this is a God-send; and with a wig: There's ne'er a barber in Lon as you two were present when I picked it up, don (and that's a bold word) can pawn a you are entitled to equal shares with me." I rotten caul, or a penny-weight of dead hair, was astonished at these words, and looked upon me." And indeed this zealous adherent upon this person to be a prodigy of integrity, did wrangle so long with the merchant, that but absolutely refused to take any part of the he was desired twenty times to leave the sum. “Come, gentlemen," said he, “you shop, and see if he could get one cheaper are too modest—1 see you are strangers; but elsewhere. At length I made choice of a you shall give me leave to treat you with a good handsome bob, for which I paid ten whet this cold, raw morning." I would shillings, and returned to our lodging, where have declined this invitation, but Strap whisStrap in a moment rid me of that hair which pered to me that the gentleman would be afhad given the schoolmaster so much offence. fronted, and I complied. “Where shall we

We got up next day betimes, having been go?" said the stranger, “I am quite igno. informed that Mr Cringer gave audience by rant of this part of the town.” I informed him candle-light to all his dependents, he himself that we were in the same situation ; upon being obliged to attend the levee of my Lord which he proposed to go into the first publicTerrier at break of day, because his lordship house we should find open; and, as we walk. made one at the minister's between eight and ed together, he began in this manner:"I nine o'clock. When we came to Mr Crin- find by your tongues you are from Scotland, ger's door, Strap, to give me an instance of gentlemen. My grandmother by the father's his politeness, ran to the knocker, which he side was of your country; and I am so preemployed so loud and so long, that he alarm- possessed in its favour, that I never meet a ed the whole street ; and a window opening Scotchman but my heart warms. The Scots in the second story of the next house, a are a very brave people. There is scarce a chamber-pot was discharged upon him so great family in the kingdom that cannot effectually, that the poor barber was wet to boast of some exploits performed by its an. the skin, while I, being luckily at some dis- cestors many hundred years ago. There's tance, escaped the unsavoury deluge. In the your Douglases, Gordons, Campbells, Hammean time, a footman opening the door, and iltons. We have no such ancient families seeing nobody in the street but us, asked, with here in England. Then you are all very well a stern countenance, if it was I who made educated. I have known a pedlar talk in such a damned noise, and what I wanted ? Grcek and Hebrew as well as if they had I told him I had business with his master, been his mother tongue. And for honesty, I whom I desired to see. Upon which he once had a servant, his name was Gregory clapped the door in my face, telling me, I Macgregor, I would have trusted him with must learn better manners before I could have untold gold.” This eulogium on my native access to his master. Vexed at this disap- country gained my affection so strongly, that pointment, I turned my resentment against I believe I could have gone to death to serve Strap, whom I sharply reprimanded for his the author; and Strap's eyes swam in tears. presumption ; but he, not in the least regard. At length, as we passed through a dark naring what I said, wrung the urine out of his row lane, we perceived a public-house, which periwig, and lifting up a large stone, flung it we entered, and found a man sitting by the with such force against the street door of fire smoking a pipe, with a pint of purl before the house from whence he had been bedew. him. Our new acquaintance asked us if ed, that the lock giving way, it flew wide ever we had drunk egg-flip? to which ques. open, and he took to his heels, leaving me to tion we answered in the negative; he assurfollow him as I could. Indeed there was no ed us of a regale, and ordered a quart to be time for deliberation; I therefore pursued prepared, calling for pipes and tobacco at him with all the speed I could exert, until we the same time. We found this composition found ourselves, about the dawn, in a street very palatable, and drank heartily; the con. we did not know. Here as we wandered versation (which was introduced by the genalong, gaping about, a very decent sort of a tleman) turning upon the snares that young

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inexperienced people are exposed to in this tion nettled me so much, that I challenged metropolis. He described a thousand cheats him to a game of piquet for a crown; and he that are daily practised upon the ignorant and was with difficulty persuaded to accept the unwary; and warned us of them with so much invitation. This contest ended in less than good nature and concern, that we blessed the an hour, to my inexpressible affliction, who opportunity which threw us in his way. lost every shilling of my own money, Strap After we had put the can about for some absolutely refusing to supply me with a sixtime, our new friend began to yawn, telling pence. The gentleman, at whose request us he had been up all night with a sick per- we had come in, perceiving, by my disson; and proposed we should have recourse consolate looks, the situation of my heart, to some diversion to keep him awake. which well nigh bursted with grief and re“Suppose," said he, “we should take a sentment when the other stranger got up hand at whist for pastime. But let me see, and went away with my money, began in that won't do, there's only three of us, and I this manner:-“I am truly afflicted at your cannot play at any other game. The truth bad luck, and would willingly repair it, was it is, I seldom or never play, but out of complai- in my power. But what in the name of sance, or at such a time as this, when I am goodness could provoke you to tempt your in danger of falling asleep.” Although I was fate so long? It is always a maxim with not much inclined to gaming, I felt no aver- gamesters, to pursue success as far as it will sion to pass an hour or two at cards with a go, and to stop whenever fortune shifts about. friend; and, knowing that Strap understood as You are a young man, and your passions too much of the matter as 1, made no scruple of impetuous; you must learn to govern them saying, “ I wish we could find a fourth hand.” better: however, there is no experience like While we were in this perplexity, the person that which is bought; you will be the better whom we found in the house at our entrance, for this the longest day you have to live. As overheoring our discourse, took the pipe from for the fellow who has got your money, I his mouth very gravely, and accosted us thus: don't half like him. Did you not observe me —“Gentlemen, my pipe is out, you see,” tip you the wink to leave off in time." I (shaking the ashes into the fire), “and rather answered, no. « No!" continued he, “you than you should be balked, I don't care if I was too eager to mind any thing but the take a hand with you for a trifle; but remem- game. But, harkee,” said he, in a whisper, ber I won't play for any thing of consequence.” “are you satisfied of that young man's hon. We accepted his proffer with pleasure. esty ? his looks are a little suspicious; but I Having cut for partners, it fell to my lot to may be mistaken; he made a great many griplay with him against our friend and Strap, maces while he stood behind you; this is a for three pence a game. We were so suc- very wicked town.” I told him I was very cessful, that, in a short time, I was half a well convinced of my comrade's integrity, crown gainer; when the gentleman whom we and that the grimaces he mentioned were had met in the street observing he had nu doubtless owing to his anxiety at my loss. luck to-day, proposed to leave off, or change “Oho! if that be the case, I ask his pardon, partners. By this time I was inflamed with —landlord, see what's to pay.” The reckmy good fortune and the expectation of im- oning amounted to eighteen pence, which proving it, as I perceived the two strangers having discharged, the gentleman shook us played but indifferently : therefore I voted both by the hand, and saying he should be for giving him his revenge ; and, cutting very glad to see us again, departed. again, Strap and I (to our mutual satisfaction) happened to be partners. My good fortune attended me still : and in less than an hour

CHAPTER XV. we had got thirty shillings of their money ; for, as they lost, they grew the keener, and Strap moralizes-presents his purse to me doubled stakes every time. At last the in- -we inform our landlord of my misforconstant goddess began to veer about; and tune-he unravels the mystery-I present we were very soon stripped of all our gains, myself to Cringer-he recommends and and about forty shillings of our own money. turns me over to Mr Staytape- I become This loss mortified me extremely, and had a acquainted with a fellow-dependent, who visible effect on the muscles of Strap's face, explains the characters of Cringer and which lengthened apace; but our antagonists Staytape-and informs me of the method perceiving our condition, kindly permitted us to be pursued at the navy-office and surto retrieve our loss, and console ourselves geons' hall-Strap is employed. with a new acquisition. Then my companion wisely suggested it was time to be gone; In our way to our lodging, after a profound upon which the person who had joined us in silence on both sides, Strap, with a hideous the house began to curse the cards, and mut- groan, observed that we had brought our pigs tered that we were indebted to fortune only to a fine market. To this observation I for what we had got, no part of our success made no reply, and he went on; "God send being owing to our good play. This insinua- l us well out of this place; we have not been in London eight-and-forty-hours, and I be he had run down. Here the good man relieve we have met with eight-and-forty thou- counted a great many stories of people who sand misfortunes—we have been jeered, re- had been seduced, cheated, pilfered, beat, proached, buffeted, pissed upon, and at last nay even murdered, by such villains. I stripped of our money; and I suppose by-and was confounded at the artifice and wicked. by we shall be stripped of our skins. Indeed, ness of mankind : and Strap, lifting up his as to the money part of it, that was owing to eyes and hands to Heaven, prayed that God our own folly; Solomon says, bray a fool in would deliver him from such scenes of inia mortar, and he will never be wise. Ah! quity; for surely the devil had set up his God help us, an ounce of prudence is worth a throne in London. Our landlord being pound of gold.” This was no time for him curious to know what reception we had met to tamper with my disposition, already mad with at Mr Cringer's, we acquainted him with my loss, and inflamed with resentment with the particulars; at which he shook his against him for having refused me a little head, and told us, we had not gone the right money to attempt to retrieve it. I therefore way to work; that there was nothing to be turned towards him with a stern countenance, done with a m-b-r of p-m-t without a and asked, “who he called fool ?" Being al- bribe: that the servant was commonly intogether unaccustomed to such looks from fected with the master's disease, and expected me, he stood still, and stared in my face for to be paid for his work, as well as his betters. some time; then, with some confusion, ut- He, therefore, advised me to give the foot. tered, “Fool! I called nobody fool but my- man a shilling the next time I should desire self; I am sure I am the greatest fool of the admittance to my patron, or else I should two, for being so much concerned at other scarce find an opportunity to deliver my letpeople's misfortunes: but nemo omnibus horis ter. Accordingly, next morning, when the sapit—that's all—that's all.” Upon which door was opened, I slipt a shilling into his a silence ensued, that brought us to our lodg- hand, and told him I had a letter for his masing, where I threw myself upon the bed in an ter. I found the good effects of my liberality: agony of despair, resolved to perish rather for the fellow let me in immediately, and than apply to my companion, or any other taking the letter out of my hand, desired me body, for relief; but Strap, who knew my to wait in a kind of passage for an answer. temper, and whose heart bled within him at In this place I continued standing for three my distress, after some pause, came to the quarters of an hour, during which time I saw bedside, and, putting a leathern purse into my a great many young fellows, whom I formerly hand, burst into tears, crying, "I know what knew in Scotland, pass and repass, with an you think! but I scorn your thoughts. air of familiarity, in their way to and from There's all I have in the world; take it, and the audience chamber; while I was fain to I'll perhaps get more for you before that be stand shivering in the cold, and turn my done. If not, I'll beg for you, steal for you, back to them, that they might not perceive go through the wide world with you, and the lowness of my condition. At length Mr starve with you; for though I be a poor cob- Cringer came out to see a young gentleman ler's son, I am no scout.” I was so touched to the door, who was no other than Squire with the generous passion of this poor crea- Gawky, dressed in a very gay suit of clothes : ture, that I could not refrain from weeping at parting, Mr Cringer shook him by the also; and we mingled our tears together for hand, and told him he hoped to have the some time. Upon examining the purse, I pleasure of his company at dinner; then found in it two half-guineas and half a crown, turning about towards me, asked what were which I would have returned to him, saying, my commands ? When he understood I was he knew better than I how to manage it; but the person who had brought the letter from he absolutely refused my proposal, and told Mr Crab, he affected to recollect my name, me it was more reasonable and decent that he which, however, he pretended he could not should depend upon me, who was a gentle. do, till he had consulted the letter again ; to man, than that I should be controlled by him. save him that trouble, I told him my name

After this friendly contest was over, and was Random. Upon which he went on, our minds more at ease, we informed our " Ay, ay, Random, Random, Random-1 landlord of what had happened to us, taking think I remember the name;" and very well care to conceal the extremity to which we he might, for this very individual Mr Cringer were reduced. He no sooner heard the story, had many a time rode before my grandfather's than he assured us we had been grievously cloak-bag, in quality of a footman. “Well,” imposed upon by a couple of sharpers, who says he, “ you propose to go on board a manwere associates; and that this polite, honest, of-war as surgeon's mate." I replied by a friendly, humane person, who had treated us low bow. “I believe it will be a difficult so civilly, was no other than a rascally money. matter," continued he, "to procure a war. dropper, who made it his business to decoy rant, there being already such a swarm of strangers in that manner to one of his own Scotch surgeons at the navy office, in expec. haunts, where an accomplice or two were tation of the next vacancy, that the commissalways waiting to assist in pillaging the prey ioners are afraid of being torn to pieces,


and have actually applied for a guard to pro- | advice that may be serviceable ; for I have tect them. However, some ships will soon been surgeon's second mate on board of a be put in comunission, and then we shall see seventy-gun ship, and consequently know a what's to be done." So saying, he left me, good deal of the world.” I made no scruple exceedingly mortified at the different recep- to disclose my situation; which when he tion Mr Gawky and I had met with from had learned, he shook his head, and told me this upstart, proud, mean member, who, I he had been pretty much in the same cirimagined, would have been glad of an oppor- cumstances about a year ago; that he had tunity to be grateful for the obligations he relied on Cringer's promises, until his money owed to my family:

(which was considerable), as well as his At my return, I was surprised with the credit, was quite exhausted; and when he agreeable news of Strap's being employed, wrote to his relations for a fresh supply, in. on the recommendation of his friend the stead of money he received nothing but reschoolmaster, by a periwig-maker in the proaches, and the epithets of idle debauched neighbourhood, who allowed him five shill. fellow: that, after he had waited at the ings per week, besides bed and board. Inavy-office many months for a warrant, to no continued to dance attendance every other purpose, he was fain to pawn some of his morning at the levee of Mr Cringer, during clothes, which raised a small sum, wherewith a fortnight, in which time I became acquaint- he bribed the secretary, who soon procured ed with a young fellow of my own country a warrant for him, notwithstanding he had and profession, who also depended on the affirmed, the same day, that there was not member's interest, but was treated with one vacancy: that he had gone on board, much more respect than I, both by the ser- where he remained nine months ; at the end vants and master, and often admitted into a of which the ship was put out of commission; parlour where there was a fire, for the con- and he said the company were to be paid venience of the better sort of those who off in Broad-street the very next day : that waited for him. Thither I was never per- his relations being reconciled to him, had mitted to penetrate, on account of my appear-charged him to pay his devoirs regularly to ance, which was not at all fashionable; but Mr Cringer, who had informed them, by was obliged to stand blowing my fingers in letter, that his interest alone had procured a cold lobby, and take the first opportunity the warrant; in obedience to which command, of Mr Cringer's going to the door to speak he came to his levee every morning as I saw, with him. One day, while I enjoyed this though he looked upon him to be a very occasion, a person was introduced, whom pitiful scoundrel. In conclusion, he asked Mr Cringer no sooner saw, than, running me if I had yet passed at surgeons' hall ? towards him, he saluted him with a bow to To which question I answered I did not so the very ground, and afterwards shaking him much as know it was necessary. “ Necesby the hand with great heartiness and fa- sary!" cried he, “ O Lord, O Lord! I find miliarity, called him his good friend, and I must instruct you—come along with me, asked very kindly after Mrs Staytape, and and I'll give you some information about the young ladies; then, after a whisper that matter.” So saying, he carried me into which continued some minutes, wherein I an ale-house, where he called for some beer overheard the word honour repeated several and bread and cheese, on which we breaktimes with great emphasis, Mr Cringer in- fasted. While we sat in this place, he told troduced me to this gentleman, as to a person me I must first go to the navy-office, and whose advice and assistance I might depend write to the board, desiring them to order a upon, and having given me his direction, letter for me to the surgeons' hall, that I followed me to the door, where he told me may be examined touching my skill in surI need not give myself the trouble to call at gery: that the surgeons, after having exam. his house any more, for Mr Staytape would ined me, would give me my qualification do my business. At that instant my fellow sealed up in form of a letter, directed to the dependant coming out after me, overheard commissioners, which qualification I must the discourse of Mr Cringer, and making up deliver to the secretary of the board, who to me on the street, accosted me very civilly. would open it in my presence, and read the This address I looked upon as no small contents; after which, I must employ my honour, considering the figure he made; for interest to be provided for as soon as possi. he was dressed in a blue frock with a gold ble: that the expense of this qualification, button, a green silk waistcoat trimmed with for second mate of a third rate, amounted to gold, black velvet breeches, white silk stock- thirteen shillings, exclusive of the warrant, ings, silver buckles, a gold-laced hat, a spen- which cost hiin half-a-guinea and half-acer wig, and a silver-hilted hanger, with a crown, besides the present to the secretary, fine clouded cane in his hand. “ s perceive," which consisted of a three-pound-twelve says he, "you are but lately come from piece. This calculation was like a thunder. Scotland; pray what may your business bolt to me, whose whole fortune did not with Mr Cringer be? I suppose it is no amount to twelve shillings. I accordingly secretmand I may possibly give you some made him acquainted with this part of my

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