distress, after having thanked him for his information and advice. He condoled me on this occasion, but bade me be of good cheer, for he had conceived a friendship for me, and would make all things easy. He was run out at present, but to-morrow or next day he was certain of receiving a considerable sum, of which he would lend me what would be sufficient to answer my exigencies. This frank declaration pleased me so much, that I pulled out my purse, and emptied it before him, begging him to take what he pleased for pocket expense, until he should receive his own money. With a good deal of pressing he was prevailed upon to take five shillings, telling me that he might have what money he wanted at any time for the trouble of going into the city; but as he had met with me, he would defer his going thither till to-morrow, when I should go along with him, and he would put me in a way of acting for myself, without any servile dependence on that rascal Cringer, much less on the lousy tailor to whom he heard him turn me over. "How," cried I, "is Mr Staytape a tailor?" "No less, I'll assure you," answered he, "and, I confess, more likely to serve you than the member; for, provided you can entertain him with politics and conundrums, you may have credit with him for as many and as rich clothes as you please." I told him I was utterly ignorant of both, and so incensed at Cringer's usage, that I would never set foot within his door again. After a good deal more conversation, my new acquaintance and I parted, having made an appointment to meet the next day at the same place, in order to set out for the city. I went immediately to Strap, and related every thing which had happened: but he did not at all approve of my being so forward to lend money to a stranger, especially as we had already been so much imposed upon by appearances. "However," said he, "if you are sure he is a Scotchman, I believe you are safe."

for breaking his appointment, that I set out for the city by myself, in hopes of finding the villain, and being revenged on him for his breach of promise. At length I found myself at the navy office, which I entered, and saw crowds of young fellows walking below, many of whom made no better appearance than myself. I consulted the physiognomy of each, and at last made up to one whose countenance I liked, and asked if he could instruct me in the form of the letter which was to be sent to the board, to obtain an order for examination? He answered me in broad Scotch, that he would show me the copy of what he had writ for himself, by the direction of another who knew the form; and accordingly pulled it out of his pocket for my perusal; and told me, that, if I was expeditious, I might send it in to the board before dinner, for they did no business in the afternoon. He then went with me to a coffee-house hard by, where I wrote the letter, which was immediately delivered to the messenger, who told me I might expect an order to-morrow about the same time. Having transacted this piece of business, my mind was a good deal composed, and as I met with so much civility from this stranger, I desired further acquaintance with him, fully resolved, however, not to be deceived by him so much to my prejudice, as I had been by the beau. He agreed to dine with me at the cook's shop which I had frequented; and on our way thither, carried me to 'Change, where I was in some hopes of finding Mr Jackson (for that was the name of the person who had broke his appointment). I sought him there to no purpose, and on our way towards the other end of the town, imparted to my companion his behaviour towards me: upon which he gave me to understand, that he was no stranger to the name of Beau Jackson (so he was called at the navy-office), although he did not know him personally; that he had the character of a good-natured, careless fellow, who made no scruple of borrowing from any body that would lend; that most people who knew him believed he had a good principle at bottom; but his extravagance was such, he would probably never have it in his My new acquaintance breaks an appoint-power to manifest the honesty of his intenment-I proceed by myself to the navy-tion. This account made me sweat for my office-address myself to a person there five shillings, which I nevertheless did not -who assists me with his advice-write altogether despair of recovering, provided I to the board-they grant me a letter to could find out the debtor. This young man the surgeons at the hall-am informed likewise added another circumstance of of the beau's name and character-find Squire Jackson's history, which was, that him he makes me his confidant in an being destitute of all means to equip himself amour-desires me to pawn my linen for for sea, when he received his last warrant, his occasions-I recover what I lent him he had been recommended to a person who —some curious observations of Strap on lent him a little money, after he had signed that occasion-his vanity. a will and power, entitling that person to lift his wages when they should become due, as also to inherit his effects in case of his death: that he was still under the tutorage and direction of that gentleman, who advan


[ocr errors]

In the morning I rose and went to the place of rendezvous, where I waited two hours in vain; and was so exasperated against him

ced him small sums from time to time upon | of my sins upon my death-bed, than be cut his security, at the rate of 50 per cent. But off (God bless us) by a musket-shot, as it at present his credit was very low, because were in the very flower of one's age, in the his funds would do little more than pay pursuit of riches and fame. What signify. what he had already received, this moderate riches? my dear friend! do not they make interest included. After the stranger (whose unto themselves wings? as the wise man name was Thomson) had entertained me saith; and does not Horace observe,-“non with this account of Jackson, he informed domus aut fundus, non æris acervus aut me that he himself had passed for third mate auri, ægroto domino deduxit corpore febrem, of a third rate, about four months ago; since non animo curas. I could, moreover, menwhich time he had constantly attended at tion many other sayings in contempt of the navy-office in hope of a warrant, having riches, both from the Bible and other good been assured from the beginning, both by a books; but, as I know you are not very fond Scotch member, and one of the commission- of those things, I shall only assure you, that, ers to whom the member recommended him, if you take on to be a soldier, I will do the that he should be put into the first vacancy; same; and then if we should both be slain, notwithstanding which promise, he had the you will not only have your own blood to mortification to see six or seven appointed answer for, but mine also; and, peradventure, to the same station almost every week; that the lives of all those whom we shall kill in now being utterly impoverished, his sole battle. Therefore, I pray you, consider, hope consisted in the promise of a friend whether you will sit down contented with lately come to town, to lend him a small small things, and share the fruits of my inmatter, for a present to the secretary, with- dustry in peace, till Providence shall send out which he was persuaded he might wait a better tidings; or, by your despair, plunge thousand years to no purpose. I conceived both our souls and bodies into everlasting a mighty liking for this young fellow, which perdition, which God of his infinite mercy (I believe) proceeded from the similitude of forbid." I could not help smiling at this our fortunes: we spent the whole day to- harangue, which was delivered with great gether; and, as he lived at Wapping, I de- earnestness, the tears standing in his eyes all sired him to take a share of my bed. Next the time; and promised to do nothing of day we returned to the navy-office, where, that sort without his consent and concurafter being called before the board, and ques-rence. He was much comforted with this tioned about the place of my nativity and education, they ordered a letter to be made out for me, which, upon paying half-a-crown to the clerk, I received, and delivered into the hands of the clerk at surgeons' hall, together with a shilling for his trouble in registering my name. By this time my whole stock was diminished to two shillings, and I saw not the least prospect of relief, even for present subsistence, much less to enable me to pay the fees at surgeons' hall for my examination, which would come on in a fortnight. In this state of perplexity, I consulted Strap, who assured me he would pawn every thing he had in the world, even to his razors, before I should want; but this expedient I absolutely rejected, telling him, I would a thousand times rather list for a soldier, of which I had some thoughts, than be any longer a burden to him. At the word soldier, he grew pale as death, and begged, on his knees, I would think no more of that scheme. "God preserve us all in our right wits!" cried he, "would you turn soldier, and perhaps be sent abroad against the Spaniards, where you must stand and be shot at like a woodcock?-Heaven keep cold lead out of my carcase! and let me die in a bed like a christian, as all my forefathers have done. What signifies all the riches and honours of this life, if one enjoys not content? and in the next there is no respect of persons. Better be a poor honest barber, with a good conscience, and time to repent

declaration, and told me in a few days he should receive a week's wages, which should be at my service; but advised me, in the mean time, to go in quest of Jackson, and recover, if possible, what he had borrowed of me. I accordingly trudged about from one end of the town to the other for several days, without being able to learn any thing certain concerning him; and one day, being extremely hungry, and allured by the steams that regaled my nostrils from a boiling cellar, I went down with an intention to gratify my appetite with two-pennyworth of beef; when, to my no small surprise, I found Mr Jackson sitting at dinner with a footman. He no sooner perceived me than he got up, and shook me by the hand, saying," he was glad to see me, for he intended to have called at my lodgings in the afternoon." I was so well pleased with this rencounter, and the apologies he made for not keeping his appointment, that I forgot my resentment, and sat down to dinner, with the happy expectation of not only recovering my own money before we should part, but also of reaping the benefit of his promise to lend me wherewithal to pass examination; and this hope my sanguine complexion suggested, though the account Thomson gave me of him ought to have moderated my expectation. When we had feasted sumptuously, he took his leave of the footman, and adjourned with me to an ale-house hard by, where, after shaking me by the hand again, he began


thus," I suppose you think me a sad dog, | once?"-I gave my opinion without hesitaMr Random, and I do confess that appear- tion, that he could not do better than buy an ances are against me. But I dare say you estate and improve; especially since he had will forgive me, when I tell you, my not already seen so much of the world. Then I coming at the time appointed was owing to launched out into the praises of a country life, a peremptory message I received from a as described by the poets whose works I had certain lady, whom, hark'ee (but this is a read. He seemed to relish my advice, but great secret), I am to marry very soon. You withal told me, that, although he had seen a think this strange, perhaps, but it is not less great deal of the world, both by land and sea, true for all that-a five thousand pounder, having cruised three whole months in the I'll assure you, besides expectations. For channel yet he should not be satisfied until my own part, devil take me if I know what he had visited France, which he proposed to do any woman can see engaging about me-but before he should settle, and to carry his wife a whim you know; and then one would not along with him. I had nothing to object to baulk one's good fortune. You saw that his proposal, and asked how soon he hoped to footman who dined with, us-he's one of the be happy? "As to that," he replied, "nohonestest fellows that ever wore a livery. thing obstructs my happiness but the want of You must know it was by his means I was a little ready cash; for you must know, my introduced to her; for he made me first friend in the city has gone out of town for a acquainted with her woman, who is his mis- week or two; and I unfortunately missed my tress: ay, many a crown has he and his pay at Broad-street, by being detained too sweetheart had of my money; but what of long by the dear charmer: but there will be that? things are now brought to a bearing. a recall at Chatham next week, whither the I have (come a little this way)-I have ship's books are sent, and I have commissproposed marriage, and the day is fixed; ioned a friend in that place to receive the she's a charming creature; writes like an money." "If that be all," said I, "there's angel. O Lord! she can repeat all the no great harm in deferring your marriage a English tragedies as well as e'er a player in few days." "Yes, faith! but there is," said Drury-lane! and indeed is so fond of plays, he, "you don't know how many rivals I have, that, to be near the stage, she has taken who would take all advantages against me. I lodgings in a court hard by the theatre. But would not baulk the impatience of her passion you shall see you shall see-here's the last for the world; the least appearance of coldletter she sent me.' With these words he ness and indifference would ruin all; and put it into my hand, and I read (to the best such offers don't occur every day." I acquiof my remembrance) as follows. esced in this observation, and inquired how he intended to proceed: at this question he rubbed his chin, and said,-" Why, truly, I must be obliged to some friend or other-do you know nobody that would lend me a small sum for a day or two?" I assured him I was such an utter stranger in London, that I did not believe that I could borrow a guinea if my life depended upon it. "No!" said he, "that's hard-that's hard. I wish I had any thing to pawn; upon my soul you have got excellent linen (feeling the sleeve of my shirt): how many shirts of that kind have you got?" I answered, "six ruffled and six While I was reading, he seemed to be in plain;" at which he testified great surprise, ecstacy, rubbing his hands, and bursting out and swore that no gentleman ought to have into fits of laughter; at last he caught hold more than four. "How many d'ye think I of my hand, and, squeezing it, cried, "There have got?" continued he; but this and is style for you! what do you think of this another, as I hope to be saved! I dare say billet doux?" I answered, "It might be sub- we shall be able to raise a good sum out of lime for aught I knew, for it was altogether your superfluity-let me see-let me seeabove my comprehension." "O ho!" said each of these shirts are worth sixteen shillhe, "I believe it is--both tender and sublime ings at a moderate computation; now, sup-she's a divine creature!-and so doats pose we pawn them for half price, eight upon me! Let me see, what shall I do with time eight is sixty-four, that's three pounds this money, when I have once got it into my four. Zounds! that will do; give me your hands? In the first place I shall do for you hand." "Softly, softly, Mr Jackson," said -I'm a man of few words; but, say no more, that's determined. Whether would you advise me to purchase some post, by which I may rise in the state; or lay out my wife's fortune in land, and retire to the country at

"DEER KREETER,-As you are the animable hopjack of my contemplayshins, your aydear is infernally skimming, before my keymerycal fansee, when Murfy sends his puppies to the heys of slipping mortals, and when Febus shines from his merrydying throne: whereupon, I shall cansee if old whorie Time has lost his pinners, as also Cupid his harrows, until thou enjoy sweet propose in the loafseek harms of thy faithfool to commend, "CLAYRENDer."

"Wingar yeard, Droory-lane, January 12th."


I, "don't dispose of my linen without my consent: first pay me the crown you owe me, and then we shall talk of other matters." He protested he had not above one shilling in his pocket, but that he would pay me out

nose: whereby he swore a deadly oath, and was going to horsewhip me, when she prevented him, and made my peace. Omen haud malum! Is not a journeyman barber as good as a journeyman baker? The only dif ference is, the baker uses flour for the belly, and the barber uses it for the head: and as the head is a more noble member than the belly, so is a barber more noble than a baker: for what's the belly without the head? Besides, I am told he could neither read nor write; now you know I can do both, and, moreover, speak Latin: but I will say no more, for I despise vanity; nothing is more vain than vanity." With these words he pulled out of his pocket a wax candle's end, which he applied to his forehead; and, upon examination, I found he had combed his own hair over the toupee of his wig, and was indeed in his whole dress become a very smart shaver. I congratulated him on his prospect with a satirical smile, which he understood very well; and, shaking his head, observed I had very little faith, but the truth would come to light in spite of my incredulity.

of the first of the money raised from the shirts. | riage may make us all! You have heard, I This piece of assurance incensed me so much, suppose, as how a countryman of our's, a that I swore I would not part with him until journeyman baker, ran away with a great lady I had received satisfaction for what I had of this town, and now keeps his coach. lent him; and as for the shirts, I would not Ecod! I say nothing; but yesterday morning, pawn one of them to save him from the gal- as I was shaving a gentleman at his own lows. At this expression he laughed aloud, house, there was a young lady in the roomand then complained it was damn'd hard that a fine buxom wench, i'faith! and she threw I should refuse him a trifle that would infal- so many sheep's eyes at a certain person libly enable him not only to make his own whom I shall not name, that my heart went fortune, but mine also. "You talk of pawn-knock, knock, knock, like a fulling-mill, and ing my shirts," said I, "suppose you should my hand shshshook so much that sell this hanger, Mr. Jackson? I believe I sliced a piece of skin off the gentleman's it woul fetch a good round sum." "No, hang it," said he, "I can't appear decently without my hanger, or egad it should go." However, seeing me inflexible with regard to my linen, he at length unbuckled his hanger, and, showing me the sign of the three blue balls, desired me to carry it thither and pawn it for two guineas. This office I would by no means have performed, had I seen any likelihood of having my money otherwise; but not willing, out of a piece of false delicacy, to neglect the only opportunity I should perhaps ever have, I ventured into a pawnbroker's shop, where I demanded two guineas on the pledge, in the name of Thomas Williams: "Two guineas! (said the pawnbroker, looking at the hanger), "this piece of goods has been here several times before for thirty shillings; however, since I believe -the gentleman to whom it belongs will redeem it, he shall have what he wants;" and accordingly he paid me the money, which I carried to the house where I had left Jackson, and calling for change, counted out to him seven-and-thirty shillings, reserving the other five for myself. After looking at the money some time, he said, "D--n it! it don't signify-this won't do my business; so you may as well take half a guinea, or a whole one, as the five shillings you have kept. I thanked him kindly, but refused to accept of any more than was my due, because I had no prospect of repaying it. Upon which declaration he stared in my face, and told me, I was excessively raw, or I would not talk in that manner. "Blood!" cried he, "I have a very bad opinion of a young fellow who won't borrow of his friend when he is in want; 'tis the sign of a sneaking spirit. Come, come, Random, give me back the five shillings, and take this half guinea, and if ever WITH the assistance of this faithful adherent, you are able to pay me, I believe you will; who gave me almost all the money he earned, if not, d-n me if ever I ask it." When II preserved my half-guinea entire till the reflected on my present necessity, I suffered myself to be persuaded; and, after making my acknowledgements to Mr Jackson, who offered to treat me with a play, I returned to my lodgings with a much better opinion of this gentleman than I had in the morning; and at night imparted my day's adventures to Strap, who rejoiced at the good luck, saying, -"I told you, if he was a Scotchman you was safe enough; and who knows but this mar


I go to surgeons' hall, where I meet with Mr Jackson-am examined--a fierce dispute arises between two of the examiners -Jackson disguises himself to attract respect is detected—in hazard of being sent to Bridewell-he treats us at a tavern -carries us to a night-house-a troublesome adventure there-we are committed to the round-house-carried before a justice-his behaviour.

day of examination, when I went, with a quaking heart, to surgeons' hall, in order to undergo that ceremony. Among a crowd of young fellows who walked in the outward hall, I perceived Mr Jackson, to whom I immediately went up, and, inquiring into the state of his amour, understood it was still undetermined, by reason of his friend's absence, and the delay of the recall at Chatham, which put it out of his power to bring it to a

The next per

conclusion. I then asked what his business | satisfied with my answers. was in this place? He replied, he was re- son who questioned me was a wag, who besolved to have two strings to his bow, that gan by asking if I had ever seen amputation in case the one failed, he might use the performed; and I replying in the affirmative, other; and with this view, he was to pass he shook his head and said,-"what! upon that night for a higher qualification. At that a dead subject, I suppose? If," continued instant, a young fellow came out from the he, "during an engagement at sea, a man place of examination, with a pale counte- should be brought to you with his head shot nance, his lip quivering, and his looks as off, how would you behave?" After some wild as if he had seen a ghost. He no hesitation, I owned such a case had never sooner appeared, than we all flocked about come under my observation, neither did I him with the utmost eagerness, to know remember to have seen any method of cure what reception he had met with; which proposed for such an accident, in any of the (after some pause) he described, recounting systems of surgery I had perused. Whether all the questions they had asked, with the it was owing to the simplicity of my answer answers he made. In this manner we or the archness of the question, I know not. obliged no less than twelve to recapitulate, but every member at the board deigned to which, now the danger was past, they did smile, except Mr Snarler, who seemed to with pleasure, before it fell to my lot: at have very little of the animal risibile in his length the beadle called my name, with a constitution. The facetious member, envoice that made me tremble as much as if it couraged by the success of his last joke, went had been the sound of the last trumpet: on thus:-"suppose you was called to a pahowever, there was no remedy: I was con- tient of a plethoric habit, who had been ducted into a large hall, where I saw about bruised by a fall, what would you do?" I a dozen of grim faces sitting at a long table, answered, "I would bleed him immediately." one of whom bade me come forward, in such "What," said he, "before you had tied up an imperious tone, that I was actually, for a his arm?" But this stroke of wit not an minute or two, bereft of my senses. The swering his expectation, he desired me to first question he put to me was," where advance to the gentleman who sat next him, was you born?" to which I answered,-" in and who, with a pert air, asked what method Scotland." "In Scotland," said he, "I know of cure I would follow in wounds of the inthat very well; we have scarce any other testines. I repeated the method of cure as countrymen to examine here; you Scotch- it is prescribed by the best chirurgical wrimen have overspread us of late as the locusts ters; which he heard to an end, and then did Egypt: I ask you in what part of Scot- said, with a supercilious smile," so you land was you born?" I named the place of think by such treatment the patient might my nativity, which he had never before heard recover?" I told him I saw nothing to make of. He then proceeded to interrogate me me think otherwise. "That may be," reabout my age, the town where I served my sumed he, "I won't answer for your foretime, with the term of my apprenticeship; sight; but did you ever know a case of this and, when I informed him that I served three kind succeed?" I answered I did not; and years only, he fell into a violent passion; was about to tell him I had never seen a swore it was a shame and a scandal to send wounded intestine; but he stopped me by such raw boys into the world as surgeons; saying, with some precipitation," nor never that it was a great presumption in me, and will. I affirm that all wounds of the intesan affront upon the English, to pretend to tines, whether great or small, are mortal." sufficient skill in my business, having served "Pardon me brother," says the fat gentleso short a time, when every apprentice in man, "there is a very good authority"-here England was bound seven years at least; he was interrupted by the other with, "Sir, that my friends would have done better if excuse me, I despise all authority. Nullius they had made me a weaver or shoemaker; in verba. I stand upon my own bottom." but their pride would have me a gentleman" But, sir, sir," replied his antagonist, "the (he supposed) at any rate, and their poverty could not afford the necessary education. This exordium did not at all contribute to the recovery of my spirits, but, on the contrary, reduced me to such a situation that I was scarce able to stand; which being perceived by a plump gentleman who sat opposite to me, with a skull before him, he said, Mr Snarler was too severe upon the young man; and, turning towards me, told me I need not be afraid, for nobody would do me any harm: then, bidding me take time to recollect myself, he examined me touching the operation of the trepan, and was very well

reason of the thing shows"—"A fig for reason," cried this sufficient member, "I laugh at reason,-give me ocular demonstration.' The corpulent gentleman began to wax warm, and observed that no man acquainted with the anatomy of the parts would advance such an extravagant assertion. This inuendo en raged the other so much, that he started up. and, in a furious tone, exclaimed, "What, sir! do you question my knowledge in anatomy?" By this time all the examiners had espoused the opinion of one or the other of the disputants, and raised their voices all together, when the chairman commanded

« VorigeDoorgaan »