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distress, after having thanked him for his for breaking his appointment, that I set out information and advice. He condoled me for the city by myself, in hopes of finding on this occasion, but bade me be of good the villain, and being revenged on him for cheer, for he had conceived a friendship for his breach of promise. At length I found me, and would make all things easy. He myself at the navy office, which I entered, was run out at present, but to-morrow or and saw crowds of young fellows walking next day he was certain of receiving a con- below, many of whom made no better appear. siderable sum, of which he would lend me ance than myself. I consulted the physiogwhat would be sufficient to answer my exi- nomy of each, and at last made up to one gencies. This frank declaration pleased me whose countenance I liked, and asked if he 60 much, that I pulled out my purse, and could instruct me in the form of the letter emptied it before him, begging him to take which was to be sent to the board, to obtain what he pleased for pocket expense, until an order for examination? He answered me he should receive his own money. With a in broad Scotch, that he would show me the good deal of pressing he was prevailed upon copy of what he had writ for himself, by the to take five shillings, telling me that he direction of another who knew the form; might have what money he wanted at any and accordingly pulled it out of his pocket time for the trouble of going into the city'; for my perusal; and told me, that, if I was but as he had met with me, he would defer expeditious, I might send it in to the board his going thither till to-morrow, when I before dinner, for they did no business in should go along with him, and he would put the afternoon. He then went with me to a me in a way of acting for myself, without coffee-house hard by, where I wrote the let. any servile dependence on that rascal Crin. ter, which was immediately delivered to the ger, much less on the lousy tailor to whom he messenger, who told me I'might expect an heard him turn me over. How," cried I, order to-morrow about the same time. Hav. “is Mr Staytape a tailor?" “No less, I'll ing transacted this piece of business, my assure you,” answered he, “and, I confess, mind was a good deal composed, and as I more likely to serve you than the member; met with so much civility from this stranger, for, provided you can entertain him with I desired further acquaintance with him, fully politics and conundrums, you may have resolved, however, not to be deceived by credit with him for as many and as rich clothes him so much to my prejudice, as I had been as you please.” I told him I was utterly igno- by the beau. He agreed to dine with me rant of both, and so incensed at Cringer's at the cook's shop which I had frequented; usage, that I would never set foot within his and on our way thither, carried me to 'Change, door again. After a good deal more conver- where I was in some hopes of finding Mr Jacksation, my new acquaintance and I parted, son (for that was the name of the person who having made an appointment to meet the had broke his appointment). I sought him next day at the same place, in order to set there to no purpose, and on our way towards out for the city. I went immediately to the other end of the town, imparted to my Strap, and related every thing which had companion his behaviour towards me: upon happened: but he did not at all approve of which he gave me to understand, that he my being so forward to lend money to a was no stranger to the name of Beau Jackson stranger, especially as we had already been (so he was called at the navy-office), although so much imposed upon by appearances. he did not know him personally; that he had “However,” said he, “ if you are sure he is the character of a good-natured, careless fela Scotchman, I believe you are safe.” low, who made no scruple of borrowing from
any body that would lend ; that most people
who knew him believed he had a good prinCHAPTER XVI.
ciple at bottom; but his extravagance was
such, he would probably never have it in his My new acquaintance breaks an appoint- power to manifest the honesty of his inten
ment-I proceed by myself to the navy- tion. This account made me sweat for my office-address myself to a person there five shillings, which I nevertheless did not who assists me with his advice—write altogether despair of recovering, provided I to the board—they grant me a letter to could find out the debtor. This young man the surg'eons at the hall—am informed likewise added another circumstance of of the beau's name and character—find Squire Jackson's history, which was, that him—he makes me his confidant in an being destitute of all means to equip himself amour-desires me to pawn my linen for for sea, when he received his last warrant, his occasions—I recover what I lent him he had been recommended to a person who --some curious observations of Strap on lent him a little money, after he had signed that occasion,his vanity.
a will and power, entitling that person to
lift his wages when they should become due, In the morning I rose and went to the place as also to inherit his effects in case of his of rendezvous, where I waited two hours.in death: that he was still under the tutorage vain; and was so exasperated against him and direction of that gentleman, who advan
ced him small sums from time to time upon of my sins upon my death-bed, than be cut his security, at the rate of 50 per cent. But off (God bless us) by a musket-shot, as it at present his credit was very low, because were in the very flower of one's age, in the his funds would do little more than pay pursuit of riches and fame. What signify . what he had already received, this moderate riches? my dear friend ! do not they make interest included. After the stranger (whose unto themselves wings ? as the wise man name was Thomson) had entertained me saith ; and does not Horace observe,—"non with this account of Jackson, he informed domus aut fundus, non æris acervus aut me that he himself had passed for third mate auri, ægroto domino deduxit corpore febrem, of a third rate, about four months ago; since non animo curas. I could, moreover, menwhich time he had constantly attended at tion many other sayings in contempt of the navy-office in hope of a warrant, having riches, both fom the Bible and other good been assured from the beginning, both by a books; but, as I know you are not very fond Scotch member, and one of the commission of those things, I shall only assure you, that, ers to whom the member recommended him, if you take on to be a soldier, I will do the that he should be put into the first vacancy; same; and then if we should both be slain, notwithstanding which promise, he had the you will not only have your own blood to mortification to see six or seven appointed answer for, but mine also; and, peradventure, to the same station almost every week; that the lives of all those whom we shall kill in now being utterly impoverished, his sole battle. Therefore, I pray you, consider, hope consisted in the promise of a friend whether you will sit down contented with lately come to town, to lend him a small small things, and share the fruits of my inmatter, for a present to the secretary, with dustry in peace, till Providence shall send out which he was persuaded he might wait a better tidings; or, by your despair, plunge thousand years to no purpose. I conceived both our souls and bodies into everlasting a mighty liking for this young fellow, which perdition, which God of his infinite mercy (I believe) proceeded from the similitude of forbid.” I could not help smiling at this our fortunes: we spent the whole day to harangue, which was delivered with great gether; and, as he lived at Wapping, I de- earnestness, the tears standing in his eyes all sired him to take a share of my bed. Next the time; and promised to do nothing of day we returned to the navy-office, where, that sort without his consent and concurafter being called before the board, and ques- rence. He was much comforte with this tioned about the place of my nativity and declaration, and told me in a few days he education, they ordered a letter to be made should receive a week's wages, which should out for me, which, upon paying half-a-crown be at my service; but advised me, in the to the clerk, I received, and delivered into mean time, to go in quest of Jackson, and the hands of the clerk at surgeons' hall, to recover, if possible, what he had borrowed gether with a shilling for his trouble in of me. I accordingly trudged about from registering my name. By this time my one end of the town to the other for several whole stock was diminished to two shillings, days, without being able to learn any thing and I saw not the least prospect of relief, certain concerning him; and one day, being even for present subsistence, much less to extremely hungry, and allured by the steams enable me to pay the fees at surgeons' hall that regaled my nostrils from a boiling cel. for my examination, which would come on lar, I went down with an intention to gratify in a fortnight. In this state of perplexity, I my appetite with two-pennyworth of beet; consulted Strap, who assured me he would when, to my no small surprise, I found Mr pawn every thing he had in the world, even Jackson sitting at dinner with a footman, to his razors, before I should want; but this He no sooner perceived me than he got up, expedient I absolutely rejected, telling him, and shook me by the hand, saying," he I would a thousand times rather list for a was glad to see me, for he intended to have soldier, of which I had some thoughts, than called at my lodgings in the afternoon.” I be any longer a burden to him. At the word was so well pleased with this rencounter, soldier, he grew pale as death, and begged, and the apologies he made for not keeping on his knees, I would think no more of that his appointment, that I forgot my resentment, scheme. "God preserve us all in our right and sat down to dinner, with the happy exwits !” cried he," would you turn soldier, pectation of not only recovering my own and perhaps be sent abroad against the money before we should part, but also of Spaniards, where you must stand and be reaping the benefit of his promise to lend me shot at like a woodcock ?-Heaven keep wherewithal to pass examination; and this cold lead out of my carcase! and let me die hope my sanguine complexion suggested, in a bed like a christian, as all my forefathers though the account Thomson gave me of have done. What signifies all the riches him ought to have moderated my expectation. and honours of this life, if one enjoys not When we had feasted sumptuously, he took content? and in the next there is no respect his leave of the footman, and adjourned with of persons. Better be a poor honest barber, me to an ale-house hard by, where, after with a good conscience, and time to repent I shaking me by the hand again, he began
thus,-" I suppose you think me a sad dog, once?”—I gave my opinion without hesita
. Mr Random, and I do confess that appear- tion, that he could not do better than buy an ances are against me. But I dare say you estate and improve; especially since he had will forgive me, when I tell you, my not already seen so much of the world. Then I coming at the time appointed was owing to launched out into the praises of a country life, a peremptory message I received from a as described by the poets whose works I had certain lady, whom, hark'ee (but this is a read. He seemed to relish my advice, but great secret), I am to marry very soon. You withal told me, that, although he had seen a think this strange, perhaps, but it is not less great deal of the world, both by land and sea, true for all that-a five thousand pounder, having cruised three whole months in the l'll assure you, besides expectations. For channel yet he should not be satisfied until my own part, devil take me if I know what he had visited France, which he proposed to do any woman can see engaging about me—but before he should settle, and to carry his wife a whim you know; and then one would not along with him. I had nothing to object to baulk one's good fortune. You saw that his proposal, and asked how soon he hoped to footman who dined with us—he's one of the be happy? “ As to that," he replied, “ nohonestest fellows that ever wore a livery. thing obstructs my happiness but the want of You must know it was by his means I was little ready cash; for you must know, my introduced to her; for he made me first friend in the city has gone out of town for a acquainted with her woman, who is his mis- week or two; and I unfortunately missed my tress : ay, many a crown has he and his pay at Broad-street, by being detained too sweetheart had of my money; but what of long by the dear charmer: but there will be that? things are now brought to a bearing. a recall at Chatham next week, whither the I have—(come a little this way)—I have ship's books are sent, and I have commissproposed marriage, and the day is fixed; ioned a friend in that place to receive the she's a charming creature; writes like an money." "If that be all,” said I, “there's angel. O Lord! she can repeat all the no great harm in deferring your marriage a English tragedies as well as e'er a player in few days.” “Yes, faith! but there is," said Drury-lane! and indeed is so fond of plays, he, "you don't know how many rivals I have, that, to be near the stage, she has taken who would take all advantages against me. I lodgings in a court hard by the theatre. But would not baulk the impatience of her passion you shall sce-you shall see here's the last for the world; the least appearance of cold. letter she sent me. With these words he ness and indifference would ruin all; and put it into my hand, and I read (to the best such offers don't occur every day.” I acquiof my remembrance) as follows.
esced in this observation, and inquired how “DEER KREETER,--As you are the anima. he intended to proceed: at this question he ble hopjack of my contemplayshins, your ay- rubbed his chin, and said, "Why, truly, I dear is infernally skimming, before my key- must be obliged to some friend or other-do merycal fansee, when Murfy sends his puppies you know nobody that would lend me a small to the heys of slipping mortals, and when sum for a day or two?" I assured him I was Febus shines from his merrydying throne: such an utter stranger in London, that I did whereupon, I shall cansee if old whorie Time not believe that I could borrow a guinea if has lost his pinners, as Cupid his har- my life depended upon it. “No!" said he, rows, until thou enjoy sweet propose in the " that's hard—that's hard. I wish I had any loafseek harms of thy faithfool to commend, thing to pawn; upon my soul you have got
" CLAYRENDER. excellent linen (feeling the sleeve of my Wingar yeard, Droory-lane,
shirt): how many shirts of that kind have “ January 12th."
you got?" I answered, "six ruffled and six While I was reading, he seemed to be in plain;" at which he testified great surprise, ecstacy, rubbing his hands, and bursting out and swore that no gentleman ought to have into fits of laughter; at last he caught hold more than four. "How many d'ye think I of my hand, and, squeezing it, cried, "There have got?" continued he; " but this and is style for you! what do you think of this another, as I hope to be saved! I dare say billet doux?" I answered, “ It might be sub- we shall be able to raise a good sum out of lime for aught I knew, for it was altogether your superfluity--let me see-let me seeabove my comprehension.” “O ho!" said each of these shirts are worth sixteen shill. he, “I believe it is both tender and sublime ings at a moderate computation ; now, sup
- she's a divine creature !-and so doats pose we pawn them for half price, eight upon me! Let me see, what shall I do with time eight is sixty-four, that's three pounds this money, when I have once got it into my four. Zounds! that will do; _give me your hands? In the first place I shall do for you hand.” “Softly, softly, Mr Jackson,” said
- I'm a man of few words; but, say no more, I, “don't dispose of my linen without my that's determined. Whether would you ad- consent: first pay me the crown you owe me, vise me to purchase some post, by which I and then we shall talk of other matters.” may rise in the state; or lay out my wife's He protested he had not above one shilling fortune in land, and retire to the country at l in his pocket, but that he would pay me out
of the first of the money raised from the shirts.riage may make us all! You have heard, I This piece of assurance incensed me so much, suppose, as how a countryman of our's, a that I swore I would not part with him until journeyman baker, ran away with a great lady I had received satisfaction for what I had of this town, and now keeps his coach. lent him; and as for the shirts, I would not Ecod! I say nothing; but yesterday morning, pawn one of them to save him from the gal- as I was shaving a gentleman at his own lows. At this expression he laughed aloud, house, there was a young lady in the roomand then complained it was damn'd hard that a fine buxom wench, i'faith! and she threw I should refuse him a trifle that would infal- so many sheep's eyes at a certain person libly enable him not only to make his own whom I shall not name, that my heart went fortune, but mine also. “ You talk of pawn- knock, knock, knock, like a fulling-mill, and ing my shirts,” said I, “ suppose you should my hand sh
shook so much that sell this hanger, Mr. Jackson? I believe I sliced a piece of skin off the gentleman's it woul: fetch a good round sum.' “ No, nose: whereby he swore a deadly oath, and hang it,” said he, “ I can't appear decently was going to horsewhip me, when she prewithout my hanger, or egad it should go.” vented him, and made my peace. Omen However, seeing me inflexible with regard tod haud malum! Is not a journeyman barber as my linen, he at length unbuckled his hanger, good as a journeyman baker? The only difand, showing me the sign of the three blue ference is, the baker uses flour for the belly, balls, desired me to carry it thither and pawn it and the barber uses it for the head: and as for two guineas. This office I would by no the head is a more noble member than the means have performed, had I seen any like- belly, so is a barber more noble than a baker: lihood of having my money otherwise; but for what's the belly without the head? Be. not willing, out of a piece of false delicacy, sides, I am told he could neither read nor to neglect the only opportunity I should write; now you know I can do both, and, perhaps ever have, I ventured into a pawn- moreover, speak Latin: but I will say no broker's shop, where I demanded two gui- more, for I despise vanity; nothing is more neas on the pledge, in the name of Thomas vain than vanity." With these words he Williams : “Two guineas! (said the pawn- pulled out of his pocket a wax candle's end, broker, looking at the hanger), “ this piece which he applied to his forehead; and, upon of goods has been here several times before examination, I found he had combed his own for thirty shillings; however, since I believe hair over the toupee of his wig, and was inthe gentleman to whom it belongs will deed in his whole dress become a very smart redeem it, he shall have what he wants ;” and shaver. I congratulated him on his prospect accordingly he paid me the money, which I with a satirical smile, which he understood carried to the house where I had left Jackson, ) very well; and, shaking his head, observed I and calling for change, counted out to him had very little faith, but the truth would come seven-and-thirty shillings, reserving the other to light in spite of my incredulity. five for myself. After looking at the money some time, he said, “ D-n it! it don't signify—this won't do my business; so you may
CHAPTER XVII. as well take half a guinea, or a whole one, as the five shillings you have kept. I thanked | I go to surgeons' hall, where I meet with him kindly, but refused to accept of any
Mr Jackson--am examinedma fierce dismore than was my due, because I had no pule arises between two of the examiners prospect of repaying it. Upon which de- -Jackson disguises himself to attract claration he stared in my face, and told me, I respect~is detected—in hazard of being was excessively raw, or I would not talk in sent to Bridewell—he treats us at a tavern that manner.
« Blood!" cried he, “I have -carries us to a night-house-a troublea very bad opinion of a young fellow who some adventure there—we are committed won't borrow of his friend when he is in want; to the round-house-carried before a jus. 'tis the sign of a sneaking spirit. Come, ticehis behaviour. come, Random, give me back the five shil. lings, and take this half guinea, and if ever With the assistance of this faithful adherent, you are able to pay me, I believe you will; who gave me almost all the money he earned, if not, d-n me if ever I ask it.” When I I preserved my half.guinea entire till the reflected on my present necessity, I suffered day of examination, when I went, with a myself to be persuaded; and, after making quaking heart, to surgeons' hall, in order my acknowledgements to Mr Jackson, who to undergo that ceremony. Among a crowd offered to treat me with a play, I returned to of young fellows who walked in the outward my lodgings with a much better opinion of hall, I perceived Mr Jackson, to whom I im. this gentleman than I had in the morning; mediately went up, and, inquiring into the and at night imparted my day's adventures to state of his amour, understood it was still Strap, who rejoiced at the good luck, saying, undetermined, by reason of his friend's ab-"I told you, if he was a Scotchman you was sence, and the delay of the recall at Chatham, safe enough; and who knows but this mar. I which put it out of his power to bring it to a
The next per
conclusion. I then asked what his business | satisfied with my answers. was in this place? He replied, he was re- son who questioned me was a wag, who besolved to have two strings to his bow, that gan by asking if I had ever seen amputation in case the one failed, he might use the performed; and I replying in the affirmative, other; and with this view, he was to pass he shook his head and said," what ! upon that night for a higher qualification. At that a dead subject, I suppose ? If," continued instant, a young fellow came out from the he, “ during an engagement at sea, a man place of examination, with a pale counte- should be brought to you with his head shot nance, his lip quivering, and his looks as off, how would you behave ?" After some wild as if he had seen a ghost. He no hesitation, I owned such a case had never sooner appeared, than we all flocked about come under my observation, neither did I him with the utmost eagerness, to know remember to have seen any method of cure what reception he had met with; which proposed for such an accident, in any of the (after some pause) he described, recounting systems of surgery I had perused. Whether all the questions they had asked, with the it was owing to the simplicity of my answer answers he made.
In this manner or the archness of the question, I know not. obliged no less than twelve to recapitulate, but every member at the board deigned to which, now the danger was past, they did smile, except Mr Snarler, who seemed to with pleasure, before it fell to my lot: at have very little of the animal risibile in his length the beadle called my name, with a constitution. The facetious member, envoice that made me tremble as much as if it couraged by the success of his last joke, went had been the sound of the last trumpet : on thus :-“suppose you was called to a pahowever, there was no remedy: I was con- tient of a plethoric habit, who had been ducted into a large hall, where I saw about bruised by a fall, what would you do?” I a dozen of grim faces sitting at a long table, answered, “ I would bleed him immediately." one of whom bade me come forward, in such “What,” said he, " before you had tied up an imperious tone, that I was actually, for a his arm?". But this stroke of wit not an. minute or two, bereft of my senses. The swering his expectation, he desired me to first question he put to me was,—"where advance to the gentleman who sat next him, was you born?" to which I answered, “in and who, with a pert air, asked what method Scotland.” “In Scotland," said he, " I know of cure I would follow in wounds of the in. that very well; we have scarce any other testines. I repeated the method of cure as countrymen to examine here; you Scotch- it is prescribed by the best chirurgical wrimen have overspread us of late as the locusts ters; which he heard to an end, and then did Egypt: I ask you in what part of Scot- said, with a supercilious smile,—“so you land was you born?" I named the place of think by such treatment the patient might my nativity, which he had never before heard recover?” I told him I saw nothing to make of. He then proceeded to interrogate me me think otherwise. “That may be," reabout my age, the towņ where I served my sumed he, “I won't answer for your foretime, with the term of my apprenticeship; sight; but did you ever know a case of this and, when I informed him that I served three kind succeed ?" I answered I did not; and years only, he fell into a violent passion; was about to tell him I had never seen a swore it was a shame and a scandal to send wounded intestine ; but he stopped me by such raw boys into the world as surgeons ; saying, with some precipitation, "nor never that it was a great presumption in me, and will. I affirm that all wounds of the intesan affront upon the English, to pretend to tines, whether great or small, are mortal.” sufficient skill in my business, having served “Pardon me brother,” says the fat gentle. so short a time, when every apprentice in man, “ there is a very good authority' _here England was bound seven years at least ; he was interrupted by the other with, “ Sir, that my friends would have done better if excuse me, I despise all authority. Nullius they had made me a weaver or shoemaker; in verba. I stand upon my own bottom." but their pride would have me a gentleman “ But, sir, sir,” replied his antagonist, “ the (be supposed) at any rate, and their poverty reason of the thing shows""X fig for reacould not afford the necessary education. son,” cried this sufficient member, “ I laugh This exordium did not at all contribute to at reason,-give me ocular demonstration." the recovery of my spirits, but, on the con. The corpulent gentleman began to wax warm, trary, reduced me to such a situation that I and observed that no man acquainted with was scarce able to stand; which being per- the anatomy of the parts would advance such ceived by a plump gentleinan who sat oppo- an extravagant assertion. This inuendo en site to me, with a skull before him, he said, raged the other so much, that he started up. Mr Snarler was too severe upon the young and, in a furious tone, exclaimed, "What, man; and, turning towards me, told me I need sir ! do you question my knowledge in ananot be afraid, for nobody would do me any tomy?" By this time all the examiners had harm : then, bidding me take time to recol- espoused the opinion of one or the other of lect myself, he examined me touching the the disputants, and raised their voices all operation of the trepan, and was very welll together, when the chairman commanded