"Club, which both Univerfities will' ❝contend fo warmly for? And perhaps fome hardy Cantabrigian Author may "then boldly affirm, that the Word 'OXFORD was an Interpolation of ❝ fome Oxonian instead of CAMBRIDGE. This Affair will be beft adjufted in your Life-Time; but I hope your Affection to your Mo"THER will not make you partial to your AUNT.

TO tell you, Sir, my own Opinion: Tho' I cannot find any ancient "Records of any Acts of the SOCIETY OF THE UGLY FACES, Con"fidered in a publick Capacity; yet in a private one they have certainly Antiquity on their Side. I am perfwaded they will hardly give Place to the "LOWNGER S, and the Low NGERS are of the fame Standing with the U"niversity it felf.

THO' we well know, Sir, you want no Motives to do Juftice, yet I am commiffioned to tell you, that you 6 are invited to be admitted ad eundem at CAMBRIDGE; and I believe I may venture fafely to deliver this as the Wifh of our whole University.

To

To Mr. SPECTATOR.

The Humble Petition of WHO and WHICH,

Sheweth,

"THAT your Petitioners being in

C

a forlorn and deftitute Condi

tion, know not to whom we should apply our felves for Relief, because there is hardly any Man alive who has not injured us. Nay, we fpeak it with Sorrow, even YOU your felf, whom we should fufpect of fuch a Practice the laft of all Mankind, can hardly acquit your felf of having given us fome Čaufe of Complaint. We are defcended of ancient Families, and kept up our Dignity and Honour many Years, till the Jack-fprat THAT fupplanted . us. How often have we found our • felves flighted by the Clergy in their C Pulpits, and the Lawyers at the Bar? C Nay, how often have we heard in one of the moft polite and auguft Affemblies in the Univerfe, to our great Mortification, these Words, That • THAT that noble L-d urged; which if one of us had had Juftice done, • would

C

• would have founded nobler thus, That WHICH that noble L-d urged. SeC nates themselves, the Guardians of British Liberty, have degraded us, and preferred THAT to us; and yet no 'Decree was ever given against us. In 'the very Acts of Parliament, in which the utmost Right fhould be done to every Body, WORD, and Thing, we 'find our felves often either not used, ❝or used one instead of another. In the 'first and beft Prayer Children are taught they learn to mifufe us, Our Father WHICH art in Heaven, should be, Our Father WHO art in Heaven; and even a CONVOCATION, after long Debates, refused to consent to an Alteration of it. In our general Confeffion we fay,-Spare Thou them, O, God, WHICH confefs their Faults; which ought to be WHO confefs their Faults. What Hopes then have we of having Juftice done us, when the Makers of our very Prayers and Laws, and the most learned in all Faculties, feem to be in a Confederacy against us, and our Enemies themselves must be our Judges.

2

THE Spanish Proverb fays, bio muda confcio, il necio no; i. e.

Il fa

A wife

• Man

Man changes his Mind, a Fool never will. So that we think You, Sir, a very proper Perfon to addrefs to, fince we know you to be capable of being C convinced, and changing your Judgment. You are well able to fettle this Affair, and to you we fubmit our Caufe. We defire you to affign the Butts and Bounds of each of us; and that for the Future we may both enjoy our own: We would defire to be heard by our Council, but that we fear in their very Pleadings they would betray our Caufe: Befides, we have 'been oppreffed fo many Years, that 6 we can appear no other way, but in forma pauperis. All which confidered, we hope you will be pleased to do that which to Right and Justice shall Cappertain.

R

And your Petitioners, &c.

Thursday,

HAVE received very ma

I

ny Letters of late from my. Female Correfpondents,moft of whom are very angry with me for Abridging their Pleafures, and looking feverely upon Things, in themselves indifferent. But I think they are extreamly Unjust to me in this Imputation: All that I contend for is, that thofe Excellencies, which are to be regarded but in the fecond Place, fhould not precede more weighty Confiderations. The Heart of Man deceives him in fpite of the Lectures of half a Life fpent in Difcourfes on the Subjection of Paffion; and I do not know why one may not think the Heart of Woman as unfaithful to it felf. If we grant an Equality in the Faculties of both Sexes, the Minds of Women are lefs cultivated with Precepts, and confequently may, without