THE INNOCENTS ABROAD OR THE NEW PILGRIM'S PROGRESS BOOK I.-NEW YORK TO VENICE BY MARK TWAIN (SAMUEL L. CLEMENS) AUSTRALIAN EDITION [ Books I- MELBOURNE GEORGE ROBERTSON 69 ELIZABETH-ST. MDCCCLXXI. 18 THE NEW YORK PUBLIC LIBRARY 108856B ASTOR, LENOX AND 1941 MELBOURNE: PRINTED BY WALKER, MAY AND co. 99 BOURKE STREET WEST. PREFACE. THIS book is a record of a pleasure-trip. If it were a record of a solemn scientific expedition, it would have about it that gravity, that profundity, and that impressive incomprehensibility which are so proper to works of that kind, and withal so attractive. Yet notwithstanding it is only a record of a pic-nic, it has a purpose, which is, to suggest to the reader how he would be likely to see Europe and the East if he looked at them with his own eyes instead of the eyes of those who travelled in those countries before him. I make small pretence of showing anyone how he ought to look at objects of interest beyond the sea -other books do that, and therefore, even if I were competent to do it, there is no need. I offer no apologies for any departures from the usual style of travel-writing that may be charged against me-for I think I have seen with impartial eyes, and I am sure I have written at least honestly, whether wisely or not. In this volume I have used portions of letters which I wrote for the Daily Alta California, of San Francisco, the proprietors of that journal having waived their rights and given me the necessary permission. I have also inserted portions of several letters written for the New York Tribune and the New York Herald. SAN FRANCISCO, 1869. THE AUTHOR. CONTENTS. CHAPTER I. Popular Talk of the Excursion-Programme of the Trip-Duly Grand Preparations-An Imposing Dignitary-The European "Averaging" the Passengers-"Far, far, at Sea "-Tribula- The Pilgrims Becoming Domesticated-Pilgrim Life at Sea- "Horse-Billiards "-The 66 School-Jack's "Journal"-The "Q. C. Club"-The Magic Lantern-State Ball on Deck-Mock Trials- Summer in Mid-Atlantic-An Eccentric Moon-Mr. Blucher Loses Confidence-The Mystery of "Ship Time "-The Denizens of the Deep-"Land-Ho!"-The First Land- ing on a Foreign Shore-Sensation among the Natives- Solid Information-A Fossil Community-Curious Ways and Customs-Jesuit Humbuggery-Fantastic Pilgrimizing- A Tempest at Night-Spain and Africa on Exhibition-Greet- ing a Majestic Stranger-The Pillars of Hercules-The Rock of Gibraltar-Tiresome Repetition-"The Queen's Chair"-Serenity Conquered-Curiosities of the Secret Caverns-Personnel of Gibraltar-Some Odd Characters- A Private Frolic in Africa-Bearding a Moorish Garrison (without loss of life)-Vanity Rebuked-Disembarking PAGE CHAPTER VIII. The Ancient City of Tangier, Morocco-Strange Sights-A Cradle of Antiquity--We become Wealthy-How they A Pilgrim in Deadly Peril-How they Mended the Clock- Moorish Punishments for Crime-Marriage Customs- Looking several ways for Sunday-Shrewd Practice of Fourth of July at Sea-Mediterranean Sunset-The "Oracle" is Delivered of an Opinion-Celebration Ceremonies- The Captain's Speech-France in Sight-The Ignorant Getting" Used to it "-No Soap--Bill of Fare, Table d'hôte- A Holiday Flight through France-Summer Garb of the Landscape-Abroad on the Great Plains-Peculiarities of French Cars-French Politeness-American Railway Officials-"Thirty Minutes to Dinner!"-Why there are no Accidents-The " Old Travellers "--Still on the Wing-Paris at Last-French Order and Quiet--Place of More Trouble-Monsieur Billfinger-Re-Christening the Frenchman-In the Clutches of a Paris Guide-The In- The Venerable Cathedral of Notre-Dame-Jean Sanspeur's Addition-Treasures and Sacred Relics-The Legend of the Cross-The Morgue-The Outrageous Can Can- PAGE |