1712.

No. 423. the rest of the Sex. Gloriana shall be the Name of the Saturday, Heroine in to Day's Entertainment; and when I have July 5, told you that she is rich, witty, young, and beautiful, you will believe she does not want Admirers. She has had since she came to Town about twenty five of those Lovers, who make their Addresses by way of Jointure and Settlement. These come and go, with great Indifference on both Sides; and as beauteous as she is, a Line in a Deed has had Exception enough against it, to outweigh the Lustre of her Eyes, the Readiness of her Understand ing, and the Merit of her general Character. But among the Crowd of such cool Adorers, she has two who are very assiduous in their Attendance. There is something so extraordinary and artful in their Manner of Application, that I think it but common Justice to alarm her in it. I have done it in the following Letter.

'Madam,

I have for some Time taken Notice of two Gentlemen who attend you in all publick Places, both of whom have also easie Access to you at your own House: But the Matter is adjusted between them, and Damon, who so passionately addresses you, has no Design upon you; but Strephon, who seems to be indifferent to you, is the Man who is, as they have settled it, to have you. The Plot was laid over a Bottle of Wine; and Strephon, when he first thought of you, proposed to Damon to be his Rival. The Manner of his breaking of it to him, I was so placed at a Tavern, that I could not avoid hearing, Damon, said he, with a deep Sigh, I have long languished for that Miracle of Beauty Gloriana; and if you will be very stedfastly my Rival, I shall certainly obtain her. Do not, continued he, be offended at this Overture; for I go upon the Knowledge of the Temper of the Woman, rather than any Vanity that I should profit by an Opposition of your Pretensions to those of your humble Servant, Gloriana has very good Sense, a quick Relish of the Satisfactions of Life, and will not give her self, as the Crowd of Women do, to the Arms of a Man to whom she is indifferent. As she is a sensible Woman, Expressions of Rapture and Adoration will not move her neither; but he that has her

must

1712,

must be the Object of her Desire, not her Pity. The Way No. 423. to this End I take to be, that a Man's general Conduct Saturday, should be agreeable, without addressing in particular to July 5, the Woman he loves. Now, Sir, if you will be so kind as to sigh and die for Gloriana, I will carry it with great Respect towards her, but seem void of any Thoughts as a Lover. By this Means I shall be in the most amiable Light of which I am capable; I shall be received with Freedom, you with Reserve. Damon, who has himself no Designs of Marriage at all, easily fell into the Scheme; and you may observe, that wherever you are Damon appears also. You see he carries on an unaffecting Exact ness in his Dress and Manner, and strives always to be the very Contrary of Strephon. They have already succeeded so far, that your Eyes are ever in Search of Strephon, and turn themselves of Course from Damon. They meet and compare Notes upon your Carriage; and the Letter which was brought to you the other Day was a Contrivance to remark your Resentment. When you saw the Billet subscribed Strephon, and turned away with a scornful Air, and cried Impertinence! you gave Hopes to him that shuns you, without mortifying him that languishes for you.

What I am concerned for, Madam, is, that in the disposal of your Heart, you should know what you are doing, and examine it before it is lost. Strephon contradicts you in Discourse with the Civility of one who has a value for you, but gives up nothing like one that loves you. This seeming Unconcern gives his Behaviour the advantage of Sincerity, and insensibly obtains your good Opinion, by appearing disinterested in the purchase of it. If you watch these Correspondents hereafter, you will find that Strephon makes his Visit of Civility immediately after Damon has tired you with one of Love, Tho' you are very_discreet, you will find it no easie matter to escape the Toils so well laid, as when one studies to be disagree able in Passion, the other to be pleasing without it. All the Turns of your Temper are carefully watched, and their quick and faithful Intelligence gives your Lovers irresistible Advantage. You will please, Madam, to be upon your guard, and take all the necessary Precautions

against

་

No. 423. against one who is amiable to you before you know he is Saturday, enamoured,

July 5, 1712,

I am,

Madam,

Your most Obedient Servant' Strephon makes great Progress in this Lady's good Graces, for most Women being actuated by some little Spirit of Pride and Contradiction, he has the good effects of both those Motives by this Covert Way of Courtship, He received a Message Yesterday from Damon in the following Words, superscribed With speed.

'All goes well; she is very angry at me, and I dare say hates me in earnest. It is a good time to Visit

Yours.

The Comparison of Strephon's Gayety to Damon's Languishment, strikes her Imagination with a Prospect of very agreeable Hours with such a Man as the former, and Abhorrence of the insipid Prospect with one like the latter. To know when a Lady is displeased with another, is to know the best time of advancing your self. This method of two Persons playing in each other's Hand is so dangerous, that I cannot tell how a Woman could be able to withstand such a Siege. The Condition of Gloriana, I am afraid, is irretrievable, for Strephon has had so many Opportunities of pleasing without suspicion, that all which is left for her to do is to bring him, now she is advised, to an Explanation of his Passion, and be ginning again, if she can conquer the kind Sentiments she has already conceived for him. When one shews himself a Creature to be avoided, the other proper to be fled to for Succour, they have the whole Woman between them, and can occasionally rebound her Love and Hatred from one to the other, in such a manner as to keep her at a distance from all the rest of the World, and cast Lots for the Conquest.

N. B. I have many other Secrets which concern the Empire of Love, but I consider that while I alarm my Women, I instruct my Men.

my

Monday

A

'Mr. SPECTATOR,

MAN who has it in his Power to chuse his own Company, would certainly be much to blame should he not, to the best of his Judgment, take such as are of a Temper most suitable to his own; and where that Choice is wanting, or where a Man is mistaken in his Choice, and yet under a Necessity of continuing in the same Company, it will certainly be his Interest to carry himself as easily as possible,

In this I am sensible I do but repeat what has been said a thousand times, at which however I think no Body has any Title to take Exception, but they who never failed to put this in Practice- Not to use any longer Preface, this being the Season of the Year in which great Numbers of all sorts of People retire from this Place of Business and Pleasure to Country Solitude, I think it not improper to advise them to take with them as great a Stock of Goodhumour as they can; for tho' a Country-Life is described as the most pleasant of all others, and though it may in truth be so, yet it is so only to those who know how to enjoy Leisure and Retirement.

As for those who can't live without the constant Helps of Business or Company, let them consider, that in the Country there is no Exchange, there are no Play-houses, no Variety of Coffee-houses, nor many of those other Amusements, which serve here as so many Reliefs from the repeated Occurrences in their own Families; but that there the greatest Part of their Time must be spent within themselves, and consequently it behoves them to consider how agreeable it will be to them before they leave this dear Town,

I remember, Mr. SPECTATOR, we were very well enter tained last Year, with the Advices you gave us from Sir ROGER'S Country-Seat; which I the rather mention, be cause 'tis almost impossible not to live pleasantly, where the Master of a Family is such a one as you there describe your Friend, who cannot therefore (I mean as to his domestick

July 7,

1712.

1

No. 424, domestick Character) be too often recommended to the Monday, Imitation of others. How amiable is that Affability and July 7, Benevolence with which he treats his Neighbours, and 1712, every one, even the meanest of his own Family! And yet how seldom imitated? instead of which we commonly meet with ill-natured Expostulations, Noise, and Chidings -And this I hinted, because the Humour and Disposi tion of the Head, is what chiefly influences all the other Parts of a Family,

An Agreement and kind Correspondence between Friends and Acquaintance, is the greatest Pleasure of Life. This is an undoubted Truth, and yet any Man who judges from the Practice of the World, will be almost perswaded to believe the contrary; for how can we suppose People should be so industrious to make themselves uneasie? what can engage them to entertain and foment Jealousies of one another upon every the least Occasion? Yet so it is, there are People who (as it should seem) delight in being troublesome and vexatious, who (as Tully speaks) Míra sunt alacritate ad litigandum, Have a cer tain Chearfulness in wrangling. And thus it happens, that there are very few Families in which there are not Feuds and Animosities, tho' 'tis every one's Interest, there more particularly to avoid 'em, because (as I would will ingly hope) no one gives another Uneasiness, without feeling some Share of it- But I am gone beyond what I designed, and had almost forgot what I chiefly proposed; which was, barely to tell you how hardly we who pass most of our Time in Town dispence with a long Vacation in the Country, how uneasie we grow to our selves and to one another when our Conversation is confined, inso much that by Michaelmas, 'tis odds but we come to downright squabbling, and make as free with one an other to our Faces, as we do with the rest of the World behind their Backs, After I have told you this, I am to desire that you would now and then give us a Lesson of Good-humour, a Family-Piece; which, since we are all very fond of you, I hope may have some Influence upon

us

After these plain Observations give me leave to give you an Hint of what a Set of Company of my Acquaint

ance