in his Fingers, that he can make the Board of an Organ found like a Drum, and if I could but procure a Subfcription of about Ten thoufand Pound every Winter, I would undertake to fetch him over, and oblige him by Articles to let every thing that fhould be fung upon the English Stage. After this he looked full in my Face, expecting I would make an Answer; when, by good Luck, a Gentleman that had entred the Coffee-house fince the Projector applied himself to me, hear ing him talk of his Swiss Compofitions, cry'd out with a kind of Laugh, Is our Mufick then to receive further Improvements from Switzerland? This alarmed the Projector, who immediately let go my Button, and turned about to answer him. I took the Opportunity of the Diverfion, which feemed to be made in favour ofome, and laying down my Peny upon the Bar, retired with fome Precipitation. C

Friday,

CSTACY REDAKTI

N® 32. Friday, April 6.

Nil illi larva aut tragicis opus effe Cotburnis.

Hor.

HE late Difcourfe concern

T

ing the Statutes of the Ugly Club, having been fo well received at Oxford, that, con

trary to the strict Rules of the Society, they have been fo partial as to take my own Teftimonial, and admit me into that felect Body; I could not restrain the Vanity of publishing to the World the Honour which is done me. It is no fmall Satisfaction that I have given Occasion for the President's fhewing both his Invention and Reading to fuch Advantage as my Correfpondent reports he did: But it is not to be doubted there were many very proper Hums and Paufes in his Harangue, which lose their Uglinefs in the Narration, and which my Correfpondent (begging his Pardon) has no very good Talent at representing. I very much approve

approve of the Contempt the Society has of Beauty: Nothing ought to be laudable in a Man, in which his Will is not concerned, therefore our Society can follow Nature, and where the has thought fit, as it were, to mock her self, we can do fo too, and be merry upon the Occafion.

Mr. SPECTATOR,

YTrouble I gave you, you will find

OUR making publick the late

to have been the Occafion of this: "Who fhould I meet at the Coffeehoufe Door t'other Night, but my old Friend Mr. Prefident? I faw fomewhat had pleased him; and as soon as he had caft his Eye upon me, "Oho, "Doctor, rare News from London, "(fays he;) the SPECTATOR has "made honourable mention of the "Club (Man) and published to the "World his fincere Defire to be a "Member, with a recommendatory "Defcription of his Phiz: And tho' ❝our Conftitution has made no parti❝cular Provifion for fhort Faces; yet, ❝his being an extraordinary Cafe, Ibe❝lieve we fhall find an Hole for him "to creep in at; for I affure you he VOL. I.

L

❝ is

is not again the Canon; and if his "Sides are as compact as his Jóles, he "need not difguife himself to make "one of us. I prefently called for the Paper to fee how you looked in Print; and after we had regaled our felves a while upon the pleafant Image of our Profelite, Mr. Prefident told me I fhould be his Stranger at the next Night's Club: Where we were no fooner come, and Pipes brought, but Mr. Prefident began an Harangue upon your Introduction to my Epistle, fetting forth with no lefs Volubility ❝ of Speech than Strength of Reason, "That a Speculation of this. Nature, "was what had been long and much 66 wanted; and that he doubted not but "it would be of inestimable Value to "the Publick, in, reconciling even of "Bodies and Souls; in compofing and "quieting the Minds of Men under all 66 corporal Redundancies, Deficiencies, "and Irregularities whatsoever; and "making every, one fit down content in his own Carcafs, though it were "not perhaps fo mathematically put toແ gether as he could with. And again, 66 How that for want of a due Confi "deration of what you firft advance,

"viz. that our Faces are not of our own "chufing, People had been tranfported "beyond all good Breeding, and hur"ried themselves into unaccountable "and fatal Extravagances: As, how 66 many impartial Looking-Glaffes had "been cenfured and calumniated, nay, " and fometimes fhivered into ten thou"fand Splinters, only for a fair Repre"fentation of the Truth? How many "Head-strings and Garters had been "made acceffary, and actually forfeited, "only because Folks muft needs quarrel "with their own Shadows? And who "(continues he) but is deeply fenfible, "that one great Source of the Uneafi"nefs and Mifery of human Life, efpecially amongst thofe of Diftinction, "arifes from nothing in the World "elfe, but too fevere a Contemplation "of an indefeafible Contexture of our "external Parts, or certain natural and "invincible Difpofitions to be fat or "lean? When a little more of Mr. "SPECTATOR'S Philofophy would "take off all this; and in the mean "time let them obferve, that there's "not one of their Grievances of this "Sort, but perhaps in fome Ages of the "World has been highly in vogue

L 20

and