they fhall be dead to the Society for ever, and Peepers, by Way of Warning, fhall be fet in the Seats they enjoy'd in the Pearl Chamber. And as for Tom Trippet, I will bring the School-mafter I lately made mention of, to earnthe first part of his Annuity, by exercising his ftrong Arm of Flesh, in giving that intolerable Fop all due Cor

rection.

I have also an Account from Naau's ChocolateHouse, near Drury-Lane Theatre, that Nigroalbus, a Sharper, of great Size and Magnitude, hath been vifited. by a Ghoft from Tyburn, whose fhameful End he caused,. but that he is fo harden'd, as to take no warning at all, and was fo little mov'd at this uncommon Spectacle, that he remains as corpulent, merry, roguifh and im penitent as ever.

LETTERS from Hampstead fay, that the Erranteft Count of all the Courts in England is fo fully convinc'd that the Fair Diverfion, lately tranflated thither from Red-Lion-Square, is all foul Play, that he hath vouchfafed to fet up one-- himself, in Imitation of it.

I would not have Mrs. Chriftian Truth be too impatient for an Answer, but give me time to confider what. to fay to her upon an Affair that so much imports her future Welfare. However, in my next Paper, or next: after, I promise her I will take her Cafe into Confideration, and ufe all my Endeavours to ferve her.

I am obliged to publifh the following Letter, as well to answer the Importunities of a Friend, as for a Terror to any of the Fair; that they may be careful not to be drawn into fuch Snares, or they muft expect to be punish'd in the fame Manner.

HE Diverfion which the Free and Golden-Lock'd. T Sukey practifes at Cripplegate Church is very fur-. prizing, in admiring the gay, fpruce and flovenly Sir John Lick-piggot, the only Heir to an old covetous and miferable Father. She thought it no Harm, after a very faint and flender Refiftance, to admit into her Habitation on Sunday, her dirty Beau; whilst her Parents were at their Devotion at Church, the thought: it no Crime to enjoy and be devout with her humble Servant, the most celebrated witty Dunce of UpperMoor-fields.

Monday,

N° 682.

My Simplicia,

I

Monday, July 16.

Omnia Vincit Amor.

Am fo well convinc'd of this Maxim, viz. That whofoever reafons well, must be a very ill Lover; and whosoever is a good Lover, must be a bad Reafoner, that I follow the Example of a Correfpondent of mine, who could write nothing of his own, ⚫ and have tranflated the following Dialogue from the • French, to addrefs and dedicate it to you. However, • I must let you into the Characters of the two Perfons ⚫ which I fhall do in my Author's Words. I introduce, fays he, Reason in an ill Humour with Love, to whom fhe makes a general Complaint of his unlucky Actions, ⚫ when he perplexes, contends, and fights for her. And I make Love fo very reasonable, that he fubmits, for this once, to reafon the Point with Reason, and tries to clear and acquit himself of the Crimes of which she accules him. My Simplicia, if that little God brings good Reasons enough to perfuade you; and if he can but make you as full of Love as you are of Reason, E fhall fancy this the best and most eloquent Dialogue ⚫ that ever was written by the Pen of Man. Think of

6

6

me, my Simplicia, all the while you read it, that I am only Old enough to be very reasonable, and that I. ftill am Young enough to be in Love. And then you may with all reasonable Kindness conclude that I am,

Very reasonably,

Not coldly to be called,

Your Affectionate Servant;
But
your Lover,

Madam, I fay your Lover,

The SPECTATOR

A Dialogue between REASON and

LOVE.

REASON.

IT T would have been a difficult matter, little pleasant Adversary of mine, for us to have met together any where, but in the prudent and beautiful Simplicia. You have always fhunn'd me with that obftinate Diligence, and I have to frequently labour'd in vain to get a Sight of you, that I verily believe I never could have attained the End I aim'd at, if you had not been pointed out by peculiar Deitiny to vifit her. This is, indeed, a Place where it is impoffible for you to avoid my Prefence, becaufe fhe is a Perfon I can never leave. I am refolved not to lofe fo favourable an Opportunity, I will make the belt of my time while have you here. I have a thousand things to ask: Pray now do fo much, in the first place as to tell me the Reafon why you conceive against me fo violent an Averfion as you do? And if there are no Means of our concerting together the Measures of Peace, and of entering immediately into an amicable Negotiation, which will be fo beneficial to Mankind ♬

LOVE.

MADAM, I am utterly a Stranger to the Reafons of your Complaint; I don't know that ever I fhun'd: you, I am very far from being your Enemy, and to the beft of my Remembrance, never went out of your Company in my Life-time. "Tis fo far from that, I take you for my Judge in all my Difputes, I call upon you to justify my Conduct, and make you my Guide in alk my Intrigues and Undertakings.

REASON.

HOW can you go to face me down in this, when you have fo little Truth ou your fide? You then hunt and chafe me from every Place that you can get into, that

you

you won't be content to let me be in the leaft Corner of a Soul, which you have a Fancy to enflave, but are as mad as can be, if I offer to refift you, and contemn me at the fame time fo heartily, that you won't hear three Words I have to fay, if I go to complain of your Diforders and Affaults, and of the Violences you commit against me.

LOVE.

WELL, Madam, ftill, I muft needs ftand by what I've faid. Isn't it making you a Judge of my Quarrels, to oblige a Lover, that meets not with Love for Love, to make his Report to you of the Injustice? And is n't it bringing you to juftify his Conduct, when he urges, that he has Reason on his fide to be in Love with that, which. is in it felf truly amiable and lovely? And is n't that making you an Affiftant in his bold Enterprizes, when after having ftol'n a Kifs, or fome other extraordinary. Favour,.. he maintains, that he went to Reafon for Counsel, and the advis'd him that he might lawfully seize and pay himself. with the Goods of a Perfon, who would never be juft enough of her self to pay him otherwise ?›

REASON.

I freely own, (and alas too well I know it!) you fre quently make ufe of my Name, but yet me you never will employ. Indeed, because I am welcome to all Places, that you and the other Paffions have not infected, infomuch that they defire my Company, and are in a continual and mortal Dread of you, 'tis cunning enough in you, and I don't wonder that you are glad, to ferve your Turn with my Name, which is a Master-. Key to almost every Door you knock at. But as foon as ever you can whip in, you presently make 'em find, to their coft, that I am not with you, that you don't fo much as know me; or that, if you do, you only makeufe of that to avoid me, to chafe me from you. If any time I take it into my Head, to give you Battle, when you have made your Way into the Heart of a Perfon that was fubject to my Government, you have a fly way

of

of foothing and flattering the Senfes into an immediate Revolt against me, you entrench your felf in their Poft, and their Inclinations towards you make you so bold, and your joining them renders them fo ftrong, that I only hurt my felf by the force of my own Arguments, without being able to touch or come at you in the least Part whatsoever. I fhould make a fine time on't, to make a Buftle, and to put my felf upon a Heat of Haranguing; I fhould do my felf a great deal of Good, by appealing to Honour, and the Duty that was owing to my Succour; the End of it all would be, when I had done all I could, I fhould e'en be forced at laft to fall down before you, acknowledge you my Conqueror, evacuate the Place of all my Forces, and yield it up entirely to you.

LOVE.

you.

YOU tell me, Madam, that I make ufe of your Name oftentimes, but never of And my Answer to that your Reproach, and all the others that follow it, is, that 'tis quite and clean the contrary; and that I do now and then oppofe your Name, but never you. True it is, I frequently find in the Hearts of many, a Parcel of falfe Maxims, of prejudicial Opinions, and ridiculous Abuses, that have the Infolence to go by your Name, and to make a Shew of Refiftance, by refufing me Entrance into the Hearts which they have prepared against me. Thus being well affured that these are your Enemies, who have only taken your Name to carry on their own ill Defigns, I exert my felf, and do all I can to destroy them. I don't neglect the leaft Advantage I can get over them; and because I fee plainly, that they look out sharp for Seconds and Backs in their Quarrels, and interest every evil Cuftom, ftupid Bafhfulness, and falfe Glory to be of their Party: As they gave the firft Example, I form Alliances with, and procure foreign Aids from the Senfes and Pleafures, who have loy'd me fo long, and are one another's infeparable Friends. Thus I go forewarn'd and fore-arm'd to the Combat ; and am always pretty well affur'd of a Conqueft, before I begin the Attack. I put to flight thofe Enemies, who, without

wear