N° 655. Monday, March 14.

Vellent tibi Barbam

Lafcivi Pueri

T'

Hor.

HIS being the Time of the Year, when both the Vegetable and Animal Part of the World begin to fprout and bloffom in their feveral Habits and exterior Ornaments; I shall keep a ftrict Eye over my own Sex and Species, and narrowly obferve_the Growth of each Mode and Fashion in its earliest Bud, that I' may regulate the Disorders of Drefs, correct every Excrefcence, and prune the luxuriant Branches in the beft manner I can.

AS for the Ladies, they make fuch a Party among the Young Fellows, to fupport them in any Vanity they have a mind to; that an Old Putt, fuch as they call. me, and fuch as I am, with his large fententious Advice, is with great Difficulty admitted to Audience; and、 therefore I expect no more Regard will be had to me and my Cenforbip, in the prefent critical Juncture of the High-feather'd Head, (I will not fay what Evils the growing Grievance portends in the State,) than was formerly paid me, in the never-to-be-forgotten Affair of the Hoop'd Petticoat. I pretend not to draw the fingle Quill against that immenfe Crop of Plumes, which. is already rifen to an amazing Height: And, unless. timely fign'd by the bright Eyes that glitter underneath,. will fhortly be able to overfhadow them. Lady Porcupine's Commode is started at least a Foot and a half fince Sunday laft; and where the Prodigy may end, it is impoffible to tell, 'till after the great Eclipfe. Whether the Court of Montezuma, whence the Original of this. Fashion was undoubtedly aken, had a Character for Genius in Dreiling, fufficient to recommend the Novelty to us, I cannot yet learn from. any Accounts. brought

over

over concerning the Wardrobes of thofe Occidental Princes. It is however certain, that, as Things now ftand, the Grievance of the immeasurable Petticoat, is hereby pinn'd down upon us for ever; it being abfolutely neceffary, to lay in a fufficient Store of Ballaft, by way of Counterpoife for fo galant a Topfail In what Condition the Feather Manufacture now ftands, fhall be inquir'd at leifure, and how far the Volatile Species of Creatures, who move in a Region above us, will be able to fupply the tamer Brood of Sempftreffes, Milliners, and Tirewomen, with fufficient Stock in Trade,, 'till the next Moulting-time.

THE Sonnetteers and Madrigalmen of the Year enfuing, will have more to fay of Flying Nymphs, and the Levity of the Sex, than at any time fince the Proto-plafts: But fo long as the Commodity circulates, and the.: Whalebone of the Petticoat comes round into the Fan, and the Outfide of a fine Lady's Head into the Infide of her Pillow; or, if Fate fo order it, to the Top of her Herfe, there is no great Harm in the Confumption; and both the Milliner, Upholsterer, and Undertaker, may live in an amical Correfpondence, and mutual Depen-dence on each other.

FROM this lofty Subject, I defcend to my own Sex; and beg leave to offer a Word or two in the behalf of all the well-dress'd People of Great-Britain, against any Innovations, which either the Court, or the Company of Taylers, may poffibly meditate to their Difadvantage. The Habits of our Gentry, for these two Years laft paft, as I am bold to exprefs it, during the whole Time of my Adminiftration, have been fo exactly decent and agreeable, fo conform to all the ftrict Rules of Order,.. Beauty, and Frugality, that I here pofitively declare, I fhall look upon every confiderable Alteration, which may be attempted upon the Coat, the Hat, the Wig, the Cravat, the Glove, the Stocking, or the Shoe, now being, as little less than a High Crime or Misdemeanor. Even Canes and Stords fhall continue as they were, and not a Patent for any Difcovery in Snuff Bokes fhall! be iffued, after the Five and twentieth of this Month. Experience hath convinc'd me, that every Age of our Sex might come into the establisfied Modes, without be

ing:

ing indecent or disagreeable; and every Order of Men, both in middle and upper Life, without being extravagant. I have given no Indulgence (whatever may be pretended to the contrary) for any fort of Drefs that might diftinguish between Gentleman and Gentleman; and as for those Knights who have a Title to a Ribband, or those Efquires and Captains, who are ftill willing to retain the common Appellation of Mr. I fhall not fuffer them to exhibit their Pedigrees or Commissions upon a Packet or a Coat-Sleeve. There is not a manly Beauty belonging to our Sex and Nation, which may fet off a Scene to Advantage in the Drefs of One thousand seven bundred and fourteen: All the agreeable Shapes, Features, Motions, Altitudes, and Geftures, which Art or Nature could furnish us with, were placed in the fairest Light, and appeared the moft genuine and taking, un- ' der that Drapery. The Silken, Woollen, Linen, and Leather Manufacturies, feem'd to be all work'd up by the most confummate Rules of Painting and Statuary; and fhall I, after this, permit the mechanick Managers of the Sheers and Sciffors to frike Strokes, and come with their boafted Airs, Cuts, and Flourishes upon us, to make Mankind the Patterns of their arbitrary Fantaftick, and put their Betters into their Livery? Not a Button fhall be introduc'd without my Inspection; and let me fee the bold Artificer, who fhall tie a Knot upon a Free-dreft Subject, without good Authority for fo doing! I abominate that wretched Pretenfion of theirs to fomething New and Pretty. That fomething New is the ftanding Recommendation of all the Monsters that ever were imported into Fleet-ftreet; and the Orator to the great Booth in Smithfield, draws in Company by the: eternal Din of The like never seen before. A few Allowances fhall, however, be made for the Humour of Novelty, and the prevailing Temper of our People: Forthis Reafon I bore fo long with the Red Scollop upon: the Shees of the last Year, and with several violent Gocks: of the Hat, which are fince fallen off themfelves, But: for the ftanding Wardrobe of all my candid Readers, upon the firft notice of any notorious Invafion or Imbezzelment which may be offered at to their Prejudice, I will take care to redress them to the utmost of my Power

Power, and let loofe all my Cenforial Indignation upon the Heads of the Offenders.

WHILST I am upon this Subject, I must be more particular, with regard to three feveral Orders of Men; the Fop, the Beau, and the well-dress'd Gentleman, who feem to differ as much from one another, as the good. Scholar, the polite Gentleman, and the Pedant. The well-dress'd Gentleman adapts the Fabion to his Perfon, his Fortunes, and his Rank among Mankind; and is neither forward to come into, nor is fervile in his Compliance with Custom: He fuffers no furprifing Alterations to be made in his manner of Dreffing, nor obferves the Extremity and utmost Punctilio. On the other hand, the Beau gives up both his Fortune, Station, and Perfon, with every Shape and Feature about it, into the Hands of his Taylor and Perukemaker, is the exact Copy of what they call the High Mode, even to a Button-holé, and keeps close to each Addition and Amendment, that every curious Editor of his Perfon is pleas'd to publish. Hence it was that Beau Hatchet made fo wretched a Fi gure about feven Years ago, with his three Inches of Face Diameter, under the intolerable Load of Periwig, which was then impofed upon the Necks of our People;. and to this we muft impute the glaring bloated Appearance of Dick Blubber in the laft Year's Diminutive Robe, that only ferv'd as a Border to a Foot and a half folid of the frefheft Cheefes that ever arriv'd from Somerfetfhire. But my Bufinefs at prefent is not with thefe Sparks: I defcend from them to that wretched Creature the Fop, who thinks he is at the Head of the Fashion, and yet falls as much on one Side of it, as the most abandon'd Sloven does on the other.

THIS diverting Mortal has indeed his Ends, and ftands diftinguifh'd among his Species; but is infenfible of the Effect, which that Notice produces amongst Mankind. He leaves the Beau juft at the Extremity of the Model, and skips over that Boundary into a large Field of abfurd Vanity and Extravagancy. Upon how minute a Circumftance does this important Character depend! His Speck of Entity is no more, perhaps, than a Pair of Fring'd Gloves, or two Pearl-colour'd Stockings:

under

under deep Mourning, or a Patch without the Excuse of a Pimple. There is Will. Inftep, with his red Tops, who paffes only for a Beau, whilft the fame Colour, carry'd down to the Heel, makes Tom Trippit an egregious Fop. I must diffect this uncommon Butterfly the Fop, to fhew him in his full Proportion: But the old Fop being the moft extraordinary of his Kind, I fhall begin with him, by way of Terror to all unhappy young Men, who may poffibly be feduc'd into the fame evil Courfes by his Example.

WHETHER Foppery in old Age be a Branch of the fecond Childhood, I shall not now examine. Some of those delicate Veterans who profefs'd an Averfion to a Lac'd Coat at Five and twenty, have been known to fhine in Brocades after their Grand Climacterick; and others have carry'd on the Humour of Dress to Improvement and Decay, through every Stage of Life. We have feen a well-dress'd Gentleman of Twenty, a Beau of Thirty, and a Fop of Threefcore, all in the Perfon of Sir Barnaby Birthnight. What an agreeable, clean, elegant Creature is that Tom Sarcenet of the Smyrna, array'd in all the coftly Simplicity of a fingle Citizen's Shop Tom has been married these three Years; and yet at this Time, one intire Round of Orrice from the Bridal Petticoat, is most ornamentally affix'd to a Bea ver of his Fathers, of no ordinary Dimenfions. With what Face can I intreat dear little Dick Dimple, to» fpare me one of those black Spots, which at present stain his Chin, 'till I have first remov'd that enormous Patch from Sir Simper's Forehead, where it fits triumphant, upon an Eminence, with two capacious Wrinkles underneath it? What adds to the Guilt of these Practices is, that the bardened Criminals of this fort, are, of all Men, the most fevers in cenfuring Youth, for that very Fault, in which they too clofely follow their own Ex ample. Their Partiality, on this Account, hardly fuf fers them to diftinguish between the well-dress'd Gentleman and the Beau, tho' they very feldom care to truft a Daughter, or an Estate in fuch Hands. I know they have often quoted me upon these Occafions; and there fore. I fhall make use of the Authority they have given

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