disposition. I am firmly persuaded that if habits of good temper are not formed in youth, they never will be, without almost a miracle; and age must be soured and ruffled with November storms. Therefore, with great seriousness, I have

RESOLVED to avoid every appearance of impatience in the manner of my conversation with all, and never to consider any circumstances sufficient to justify a departure from this rule.

Further, I do firmly believe that if mild, tender, lenient measures, attended at times with unimpassioned correction, and followed up with exhortation and prayer, do not effect the purposes of family government, nothing will. Therefore,

RESOLVED, never to speak to my domestics with any appearance of temper, nor adopt a system of harsh treatment of them, but to speak to them tenderly and mildly, even in reproof; and not to undertake to reprove them for every little slip, lest they grow hardened.

I must fix it in my mind not to expect every thing according to my wishes in those with whom I have intercourse. Others have to bear things in me, and why should not I bear with the weaknesses of others? It is no excuse for me to lose my temper, that others do wrong.

Thursday, August 17th. RESOLVED, (extraordinaries excepted,) to begin to write for the Sabbath on Monday, to complete my sermons Monday and Tuesday, and to devote Thursday to visit my people for religious purposes; or if any thing, when I am not on a journey, and when no fast, thanksgiving, ministers' meeting, or concert occurs, should prevent my visiting that day, to spend two days the next week.

RESOLVED, for the present, to devote the first Wednesday in every other month, viz. January, March, May, July, September, November, to correspond with christian friends and to pray for them, though they must not be forgotten daily.

RESOLVED to read some devotional piece, besides the scriptures, every day.

RESOLVED to set apart some day as near as convenient to the 6th of January, (my birth-day and the commencement of

a new year,) and to the 6th of April, (the next quarter, and not far from the time when I first made a profession of religion, and first became acquainted with her whom providence has given me for a wife,) and to the 6th of July, (the next quarter, and about the time from which I have dated what I hope was a saving conversion, and about the time of commencing these memoirs; also between last quarter day and this, both my marriage and my ordination took place;) and to the 6th of October, (the next quarter day, and not far from the time when I was first licensed to preach the everlasting gospel, and also about the time of first coming to New-Hartford;) as days of fasting and prayer. On these days I purpose to call to mind the events above enumerated and make suitable reflections on them, renew the dedication of myself to God, make suitable confessions and humiliations, and enter into a train of self-examination; review my resolutions, &c. Besides these, I will from time to time set apart days for special devotion, as God shall put it into my heart.

RESOLVED to keep a book in which to insert the result of the intercourse with my people, in my visits, and any names, or cases, or memoranda, which shall appear useful to me as a minister or a christian.

EXAMINATION. Sabbath evening, August 20th. I have been this evening examining my feelings towards God, the law, and Jesus Christ, and the plan of salvation by him. I have asked myself such questions as these: Am I pleased with a God who sits on the throne of the universe, governing all matters so as to promote the highest happiness of the universe; who, in the exercise of infinite benevolence, has entered on a system of operations most conducive to manifest and diffuse himself, and to complete a kingdom of holy, benevolent, and happy beings; who is perfectly pure and holy; and who, as the faithful guardian of the universe, has resolved to punish every thing which opposes its happiness; who abhors every sin, even mine; who has manifested his abhorrence of sin in the destruction of the old world, Sodom, &c. and on the cross, and in the punishment of my sins; who is

just, merciful, patient, and faithful; who has made discoveries. of these perfections in the gospel, and in all that he has done for Zion, from the days of Adam; who requires himself to be loved and respected supremely? &c. Do I love the law which requires perfect benevolence and sinless perfection, and condemns for every transgression? Would I wish for a law any wise different? Have I any hopes of being able to atone for my sins? Am I pleased with the character and offices of Christ and the way of salvation by him? That he should have all the praise of my salvation, and that I should be exempt from punishment in consequence of the opportunity which he has given God to manifest, in his treatment of him, his abhorrence of my sins? &c. And after the most serious and elaborate examination, I dare not come to any fixed conclusion, though I hope my heart is pleased with this representation of God, and the law, and Christ. I think I feel ashamed that while so many hearts in heaven and earth are flaming with love and admiration in view of these truths, mine is so little affected by them, that I cannot decide whether I love them or not. Yet I solemnly determine not to give up the examination until I can answer decisively. I am resolved to pursue it to-morrow. And O, may the Lord give me light to see and know myself, and to love him with fervency.

EXAMINATION. Monday evening, Aug. 21st. This morning I pursued the examination which was left unfinished last night; but was again unable to come to any fixed conclusion. Have been on the subject, at turns, through the day. This evening I have renewed it with more fixed attention, and blessed be God, I have enjoyed more clearness of views, by which I have been enabled to render the following answers to the following questions:

Would you consent to see your house in ashes and to be stripped of every thing on earth to rescue your greatest enemy from an eternal hell, and to secure to him increasing eternal glory ?

Yes, certainly: I would give up every thing that I could give up, of an earthly nature, for this purpose.

Are you pleased that God has given a law requiring such a temper in all?

Surely I am. What a most beautiful and glorious society does such a law tend to produce!

Does not God, by enacting a law to make such a temper general, act like an excellent being?

Yes, his encouragement of such a temper proves him to be a most excellent being.

Does not the manifestation which Christ has made of such a temper, cause him to appear, independently of gratitude, an excellent being?

Yes, benevolence to the great whole looks amiably, let it exist where it may.

If the law is such an excellent rule, does it not look desirable that every one should conform to it?

Most certainly it does. What beautiful society would this produce! What a foundation for immortal union, love, and happiness!

Does it not appear desirable that, in order to sanctify and honor and support this most lovely rule, transgressions of it should be severely frowned upon and punished?

It seems that any measures which conduce to the universal, or even general establishment of this rule, so essential to the happiness of the universe, are desirable.

Since it would have tended to lessen the respectability of this rule, had my transgressions of it escaped without a frown, am I pleased with the idea of not being pardoned but in consequence of the opportunity which was given on the cross to manifest this frown?

As Christ came to honor and magnify that law, (which he said required only love to God and man,) by his obedience and death, I am pleased with his coming into the world. Further, I am willing to be pardoned, and to have it understood that I am an undeserving rebel, saved by sovereign grace. I wish to have it openly declared that I was a monstrous rebel in opposing such an excellent law, in order that the law may be supported and sin discountenanced. I should wish to make

the declaration myself, and condemn my conduct before three worlds, if there was no other way to have it condemned.

Since I have sinned, and since it must be known in order that God's righteousness may appear, I wish to have it publicly understood that I am a vile undeserving wretch indebted to boundless grace for pardon. I wish by all means to have it understood that my sins are not winked at, and that God manifested his abhorrence of them by what took place on the cross, and that it was in consequence of this manifestation that he gratified his grace in my pardon, and also in consequence of the intercession of my Advocate. I think I rejoice in Christ as my prophet, priest, and king; and can with pleasure commit to him the care of all my spiritual interests.

Does not the belief that all the works and operations of God have the same design as the law, viz. to promote general happiness, and that he has the temper required in the law, make him appear very amiable and worthy?

Most lovely and glorious. So far as I can know my heart, this is the God whom I approve and love. This is the God

How rich is the

whom I choose for my everlasting portion. universe in containing such a God! With pleasing adoration I look up and say, Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts. To him be glory for ever. Amen.

EXAMINATION. Wednesday, August 23d. Since Monday, God has appeared as sitting on the top of the universe, and pouring out the law from his very heart. Methinks I could trace this golden chain, which binds the world together, up to this heart, in which it in a sense originates. This view of things, I think, has given me pleasant thoughts of God.

I have in times past found it extremely difficult to gain a realizing view of the need and fitness of Christ's dying to atone for sin. This has appeared the gordian knot in divinity. I thought I could more easily see the propriety of his advocacy: but it was hard to see how my sins were properly punished, or any frown properly manifested against them, by the sufferings of Christ. Lately I have been particularly solicitous to look into this matter more deeply; and have by a divine blessVOL. 1.