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should venture to attend a TURTLE-FEAST* without such Sentinels on his Nose - they are absolutely as indispensable a part of the paraphernalia of the Banquet-as a Plate or a Spoon!
The Eye is a mighty and merciless enemy to the Stomach-alas! as the Proverb says, "it is bigger than the Belly." Now even supposing your Eye to be as big again, with these powerful Spectacles, your Eyes may be filled with delight, and your Stomach also: for the former, will imagine that while you
Nothing is more difficult of digestion, or oftener requires the aid of Peristaltic Persuaders, than the glutinous Calipash, which is considered the "Bonne Bouche" of this surfeiting Farrago."
The usual allowance at a TURTLE-FEAST is 6 Pounds live weight per head :
"At the Spanish Dinner, at the City of London Tavern, in August 1808,- 400 Guests attended, and 2500 pounds of Turtle were consumed."-See BELL'S Weekly Messenger for August 7, 1808.
Epicure QUIN used to say that it was not safe to sit down to a Turtle Feast at one of the City Halls, without A Basket-hilted Knife and Fork."- From page 251 of the 5th Edition of THE COOK'S ORACLE, 12mo. 1823.
have been leisurely sipping a small Soupplateful, you have been swallowing an immense Tureenful: - What a beautiful delusion! at once, equally delightful to your Stomach, your Eye, and your Tongue - equally magnifying the pleasure of those two most troublesome of the Senses the Sight and the Taste which are ever the most irrationally importunate in their demands, and the most difficult to be satisfied!
Whenever your Tongue cries out for more dainties, than your Stomach has previously plainly told you is agreeable to it - to settle all the difference of their demands to their mutual satisfaction, you have nothing to do, but to put on your Spectacles, and you may set to at Calipash and Calipee with impunity;
for, they will make
“A LITTLE LARK" look like "A LARGE FOWL,"
and "A PENNY ROLL" as big as
"A QUARTERN LOAF!!!"
Some Philosophers have said, that Pain
is only imaginary,
we may as justly believe the same of Hunger; and if a Gentleman who eats only an Ounce of Mutton, imagines, by the aid of these magnifiers, that he has eaten
a Pound - his Hunger, ought, to be as fully satisfied.
MEM. The Addition to your Optician's Bill - will soon be overpaid by the subtraction from your Butcher's and Baker's.
HINTS TO PERSONS CHOOSING SPECTACLES TO READ WITH.
A PART of the paraphernalia of an Optician's counter, is a Book* of rather a small print, (about the size of the Note at the foot of this Page) which is presented to those who come to choose Spectacles - and such Glasses are very properly recommended, as will enable the person to read it-at the same distance, and with the same ease, that he could before his Eyes were impaired, i. e. through which the Letters appear perfectly distinct, and of their
The first thing to attend to, is to look at a Book with each Eye alternately (shutting the other), and carefully ascertain, if you see equally
* The Author will be sadly disappointed if in future this Work is not the Volume chosen for that purpose.
well, with both Eyes, with the same Glass, at exactly the same distance. Persons are quite unconscious of the frequent inequality in the focus of the two Eyes till they thus try them separately; when they often find that a Glass which will do very well for one Eye - is of little or no use to the other, which to be rendered effective must have a Glass of a different focus.
With Glasses not Convex enough, or, according to the common expression, which are too Young, You will not see clearly, unless the Book is placed so far from your Eyes, that the Letters cannot be seen distinctly.
With Glasses too Convex
· or too Old — You will be obliged to bring the Book nearer to your Eyes than you did when your Sight was good and the Letters will appear larger, than they really are. Spectacles which magnify too much, will strain the Eyes even more than those which do not magnify enough - and instead of retarding, will accelerate the defect which age brings on.
"When persons apply to an Optician for Spectacles to read or work with; they should clearly understand, that the Objects for which such Spectacles are solely calculated, are not
placed more than 12 or 14 Inches from their Eyes- i. e. whether Reading, Writing, Sewing, &c. for there seems to be a natural impulse in most persons, that after a printed Book has been handed them for trial to read, they will presently look off- to some object on the other side of the Room, or across the Street, and say, 'Why now I can see well enough to Read with these Glasses but I cannot discern what that word is over yonder Door;' and the Optician has oftentimes no little trouble to convince them, that such Spectacles are not intended to show objects at a distance-to see which, their Sight is as strong as ever; and in fact, that they can see distant objects best with their naked Eye."
"A person in business, with whom I was acquainted, began to want the common Optical assistance, especially for Writing, when about 40 years of Age- the Glasses he first used were of 30 Inches focus, but he soon found them useful to look at the labels on the parcels of Muslin arranged on the shelves around his Shop after a while, he found it easy and convenient to keep them on during the Day, to