OVID, Met. iv. 378

а

minister being big with child, could not attend the

No. 435.) SATURDAY, JULY 19, 1712. public affairs, as so great an exigency of state re

Nec duo sunt. et forma duplex, nec fæmina diei, quired; but this I can give no manner of credit to,

Nec puer, ut possint: neutrumque et utrumque videntur. since it seems to contradict a fundamental maxim in their government which I have before mentioned. Both bodies in a single body mix, My author gives the most probable reason of this A single body with a double sex.--ADDISON. great disaster; for he affirms that the general was

Most of the papers I give the public are written brought to bed, or (as others say) miscarried, the on subjects that never vary, but are for ever fixed very night before the battle: however it was, this and immutable. Of this kind are all my more signal overthrow obliged them to call in the male serious essays and discourses; but there is another republic to their assistance; but notwithstanding sort of speculations, which I consider as occasional their common efforts to repulse the victorious enemy; papers, that take their rise from the folly, extravathe war continued for many years before they could gance, and caprice, of the present age. For I look entirely bring it to a happy conclusion.

upon myself as one set to watch the manners and The campaigns which both sexes passed together behaviour of my countrymen and contemporaries, made them so well acquainted with one another, and to mark down every' absurd fashion, ridiculous that at the end of the war they did not care for part-custom, or affected form of speech, that makes its ing. In the beginning of it they lodged in separate appearance in the world during the course of these camps

, but afterward, as they grew inore familiar, my speculations. The petticoat po sooner began to they pitched their tents promiscuously.

swell, but I observed its motions. The party-patches From this time, the armies being checkered with had not time to muster themselves before 1 detected both sexes, they polished apace. The men used to them. I had intelligence of the coloured hood the invite their fellow-soldiers into their quarters, and very first time it appeared in a public assembly.. I would dress their tents with flowers and boughs for might here mention several other the like contin. their reception. If they chanced to like one more gent subjects, upon which I have bestowed distinct than another, they would be cutting her name in papers. By this means I have so effectually quashed the table, or chalking out her figure upon the wall, those irregularities which gave occasion to them, or talking of her in a kind of rapturous language, that I am afraid posterity will scarce have a suffiwhich by degrees improved into verse and sonnet. cient idea of them to relish those discourses which These were as the first rudiments of architecture, were in no little vogue at the time when they were painting, and poetry, among this savage people. Af- written. They will be apt to think that the fashions ter any advantage over the enemy, both sexes used and customs I attacked were some fantastic conceits to juinp together, and make a clattering with their of my own, and that their great-grandmothers could swords and shields, for joy, which in a few years not be so 'whimsical as I have represented them. produced several regular tunes and set dances. For this reason, when I think on the figure my se

As the two armies romped on these occasions, veral volumes of speculations will make about a hunthe women complained of the thick bushy beards dred years hence, I consider them as so many pieces and long nails of their confederates, who thereupon of old plate, where the weight will be regarded, but took care to prune themselves into such figures as the fashion lost. Were most pleasing to their female friends and Among the several female extravagances I have

already taken notice of, there is one which still When they had taken any spoils from the enemy, keeps its ground. I mean that of the ladies who the men

would make a present of every thing that was dress themselves in a hat and feather, a riding-coat rich and showy to the women whom they most

admired, and a periwig, or at least tie up their hair in a bag and would frequently dress the necks, or heads, or or riband, in imitation of the smart part of the oparms of their mistresses, with any thing which they posite sex. As in my yesterday's paper I gave an thought appeared gay or pretty. The women ob- l account of the mixture of two sexes in one commonserving that the men took delight in looking upon wealth, I shall here take notice of this mixture of them when they were adorned with such trappings two sexes in one person. I have already shown my and gewgaws, set their heads at work to find out dislike of this immodest custom more than once ; new inventions, and to outshine one another in all but, in contempt of every thing. I have hitherto ecuncils of war, or the like solemn meetings. On said, I am informed that the highways about this the other hand, the men observing how the women's great city are still very much infested with these hearts were set upon finery, begun to embellish female cavaliers. themselves, and look as agreeably as they could in I remember when I was at my friend Sir Roger the eyes of their associates. In short, after a few de Coverley's about this time' twelvemonth, an years' conversing together, the women had learned equestrian lady of this order appeared upon the to smile, and the men to ogle; the women grew plains which lay at a distance from his house. I soft, and the men lively.

was at that time walking in the fields with my old When they had thus insensibly formed one an- friend; and as his tenants ran out on every side to other, upon the finishing of the war, which con- see so strange a sight, Sir Roger asked one of them, cluded with an entire conquest of their common who came by us, what it was? To which the counenemy, the colonels in one army married the colo- try fellow replied, “ 'Tis a gentlewoman, saving Dels in the other; the captains in the same mauner your worship's presence, in a coat and hat.” Thie took the captains to their wives: the whole body produced a great deal of mirth at the knight's house, of common soldiers were matched after the exam- where we had a story at the same time of another ple of their leaders. By this means the two repub- of his tenants

, who meeting this gentleman-like lady lics incorporated with one another, and became on the highway, was asked by her whether that was the most flourishing and polite government in the Coverley hall?'' The honest man seeing only the part of the world which they inhabited.-C. male part of the querist, replied, “ Yes, Sir;" but

upon the second question, whether Sir Roger de Coverley was a married man? having dropped his

allies.

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my face.

eye upon the petticoat, be changed his note into not forbear going on Wednesday last to a place of No, Madam."

no small renown for the gallantry of the lower order Had one of these hermaphrodites apprared in Ju- of Britons, namely, to the Bear-garden, at Hocklervenal's days, with what an indignation should we have in-the-Hole: where (as a whitisb-brown paper, put seen her described by that excellent satirist! He into my hands in the street, informed me) there would have represented her in her riding-habit as a was to be a trial of skill exhibited between tiro greater monster than the centaur. He would have masters of the noble science of defence, at two of called for sacrifices, or purifying waters, to expatiate the clock precisely. I was not a little charmed with the appearance of such a prodigy. He would have the solemnity of the challenge, which ran thus: invoked the shades of Portia or Lucretia, to see “ I, James Miller, serjeant (lately come from the icto what the Roman ladies bad transformed them frontiers of Portugal), master of the noble science selves.

of defence, hearing in must places where I have For my own part, I am for treating the sex with teen of the great fame of Timothy Buck, of London, greater tenderness, and have all along made use of master of the said science, do invite hiin to meet me the most gentle methods to bring them off from any and exercise at the several weapons following, viz. little extravagance into which they have sometimes

“ Back sword, unwarily fallen. I think it, however, absolutely ne

Single falchion,

“ Sword and dagger, Case of falchions, cessary to keep up the partition between the two

“ Sword and buckler, sexes, and to take notice of the smallest en

Quarter staff.” croachments which the one makes upon the other. If the generous ardour in James Miller to dispate I hope, therefore, that I shall not bear any more the reputation of Timothy Buck had something te complaints on this subject. I am sure my she-dis , seubling the old heroes of romance, Timothy Buck ciples, who peruse these my daily lectures, have returned answer in the same paper with the like protited but little by them, if they are capable of spirit, adding a little indignation at being chal. giving into such an amphibious dress. This I should lenged, and seeming to condescend to fight James not have mentioned, had not I lately met one of Miller, not in regard to Miller himself, but in that, these my female readers in Hyde-park, who looked as the fame went out, he had fought Parkes of Coupon me with a masculine assurance, and cocked ventry. The acceptance of the combat ran in these Der hat full in

words: For my part, I have one general key to the be. “ I, Timothy Buck, of Clare-market, master of the haviour of the fair sex. When I see them singular noble science of defence, hearing he did fight Mr. in any part of i'aeir dress, I conclude it is not with Parker* of Coventry, will not fail (God willing) to out some evil intention; and therefore questica not meet this fair inviter at the time and place ap but the design of this strange fashion is to smite pointed, desiring a clear stage and no favour.more effectually their male beholders. Now to set | Vivat Regina." ihem right in this particular, I would fain have them I shall not here look back on the spectacles of the consider with themselves, whether we are not more Greeks and Romans of this kind, but must believa likely to be struck by a figure entirely female

, than this custom took its rise from the ages of knightwith such a one as we may see every day in our errantry; from those who loved one woman so well

, glasses. Or, if they please, let them reflect upon that they hated all men and women else; from those their own hearts, and think how they would be af- who would fight you, whether you were or were not fected should they meet a man on horseback in his of their mind; from those who demanded the combreeches and jack-boots, and at the same time bat of their contemporaries, both for admiring their dressed up in a commode and a nightraile. mistress or discommending her. I cannot therefore

I must observe that this fashion was first of all but lament, that the terrible part of the ancient fight brought to us from France, a country which has in- is preserved, when the amorous side of it is forfected all the nations of Europe with its levity. I gotten. We have retained

the barbarity, but lost speak not this in derogation of a whole people, hav- the gallantry of the old combatants. I could wish, ing more than once found fault with those general methinks, these gentlemen had consulted me in the retlections which strike at kingdoms or common-promulgation of the conflict. I was obliged by a wealths in the gross a piece of cruelty, which an fair young maid, whom I understood to be called ingenious writer of our own compares to that of Elizabeth Preston, daughter of the keeper of the Caligula, who wished the Roman people bau all but garden, with a glass of water; who I imagined might one neck, that he might behead them at a blow. I have been, for form's sake, the general representar shall therefore only remark, that as liveliness and tive of the lady fought for, and from her beauty the assurance are in a peculiar manner the qualifica- proper Amaryllis on these occasions. It would bare tions of the French nation, the same habits and cus- run better in the challenge, “ I, James Miller, ser toms will not give the same offence to that people jeant, who have travelled parts abroad, and came which they produce among those of our own coun- last from the frontiers of Portugal, for the love of try. Modesty is our distinguishing character, as Elizabeth Preston, do assert that the said Elizabeth vivacity is theirs: and when this our national virtue appears in that iemale beauty for which our British

* On a large tomb in the great church-yard of Corentry * ladies are celebrated above all others in the universe, the following inscription. it makes up the most amiable object that the eye of " To the memory of Mr. John Sparkes, a native of this city man can possibly behold.--C.

he was a man of a mild disposition, a gladiator by professor, who, after having fought 350 battles in the principal para

Europe with honour and applause, at length quited the stage: No. 436.] MONDAY, JULY 21, 1712.

sheathed his sword, and with Christiau resignativn, sebatirtal

to the grand victor in the 52d year of his age. Verso pollice vulgi

Anno salutis humanit 1730"} Quemlibet occidunt populariter Juv, Sat. iii. 36.

His friend, Serjeant Miller, here mentioned, a man alvat With thumba bent back, they popularly kill.—DRYDEN.) athletic accomplishments, was advanced afterward to the fact

of a captain in the British army, and did notable server 1.5 Being a person of insatiable curiosity, I could | Scotland under the Duke of Cumberland in 1742

a

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is the fairest of women.” Then the answer; " I his eyes in a moment, and the buzzas of the crowel Timothy Buck, who have stayed in Great Britain undoubtedly quickened the anguish. The assembly during all the war in foreign parts for the sake of was divided into parties upon their different ways Susannah Page, do deny that Elizabeth Preston is of fighting ; while a poor nymph in one of the gal. so fair as the said Susannah Page. Let Susannah leries apparently suffered for Miller, and burst into Page look on, and I desire of James Miller no a flood of tears. As soon as his wound was wrapped favor,"

up, he came on again with a little rage, which still This would give the battle quite another tura; disabled him further. But what brave man can be and a proper station for the ladies, whose complexion wounded iuto more caution and patience? The next was disputed by the sword, would animate the dis was a warm eager onset, which ended in a decisive putants with a more gallant incentive than the ex- stroke on the left leg of Miller. The lady in the pectation of money from the spectators; though I gallery, during this second strife, covered her face, Would not have that neglected, but thrown to that and for my part, I could not keep my thoughts froir fair oue whose lover was approved by the donor. being mostly employed on the cousideration of her

Yet, considering the thing wants such amend- unhappy circumstance that moment, hearing the ments, it was carried with great order. James Mil- clash of swords, and apprehending life or victory ler came on tirst, preceded by two disabled drum- concerned her lover in every blow, but not daring mers, to show, I suppose, that the prospect of to satisfy herself on whom they fell. The wound maimed bodies did not in the least deter him. was exposed to the view of all who could delight in There ascended with the daring Miller a gentleman, it, and sewed up on the stage. The surly second of whose name I could not learn, with a dogged air, Miller declared at this time, that he would that day as unsatisfied that he was not principal. This son fortnight fight Mr. Buck at the same weapons, deof anger luwered at the whole assembly, and, weigh-claring himself the master of the renowned Gorman; ing himself as he marched around from side to but Buck denied him the honour of that courageous side, with a stiff knee and shoulder, he gave intima- disciple, and, asserting that he himself had taught tions of the purpose he smothered till he saw the that champion, accepted the challenge. !ssue of this encounter. Miller had a blue riband There is something in human nature very unactied round the sword arm; which ornament I con- countable on such occasions, when we see the people ceive to be the remain of that custom of wearing a take a painful gratification in beholding these enmistress's favour on such occasions of old.

counters. Is it cruelty that administers this sort Miller is a man of six foot eight inches in height, of delight? or is it a pleasure that is taken in the of a kind but bold aspect, well-fashioned, and ready exercise of pity? It was, methought, pretty remarkof his limbs, and such a readiness as spoke his ease able that the business of the day being a trial of in them was obtained from a habit of motion in mi- skill, the popularity did not run so high as one litary exercise.

would have expected on the side of Buck. Is it The expectauon of the spectators was now almost that people's passions have their rise in self-love, at its height; and the crowd pressing in, several and thought themselves (in spite of all the courage adive person's thought they were placed rather they had) liable to the fate of Miller, but could not according to their fortune than their merit, and took so easily think themselves qualified like Buck ? it in their heads to prefer themselves from the open Tully speaks of this custom with less horror than area or pit to the galleries. This dispute between one would expect, though he confesses it was much desert and properly brought many to the ground, abused in his time, and seeins directly to approve and raised others in proportion to the highest seats of it under its first regulations, when criminals only by turns, for the space of ten minutes, till Timothy fought before the people. « Crudele gladiatorum Buck came on, and the whole assembly, giving up spectaculum et inhumanum nonnullis videri solet ; et their disputes, turned their eyes upon the champions. haud scio annon ita sit ut nunc fit ; cùm verò sontes Then it was that every man's affection turned to ferro depugnabant, auribus fortasse multa, vculis qui

e or the other irresistibly. A judicious gentleman dem nulla, poterat esse fortior contra dolorem et mordear me said, “I could, methinks, be Miller's se tem disciplina." “ The shows of gladiators may be cand, but I had rather have Buck for mine.” Mil- thought barbarous and in human, and I know not lot bad an audacious look that took the eye; Buck but it is soʻas it is now practised; but in those times a perfect composure, that engaged the judgment. when only criminals were combatants, the ear per. Back came on in a plain coat, and kept all his air haps might receive

many better instructions, but it til the instant of engaging; at which time he un is impossible that any thing which affects our eyes dressed to his shirt, his arm adorned with a bandage should fortify us so well against pain and death." of red riband. No one can describe the sudden concern in the whole assembly; the most tumultu908 crowd in nature was as still and as much en- No. 437.] TUESDAY, JULY 22, 1712. Enged as if all their lives depended on the first blow. The combatants met in the middle of the stage, and

Tune impune hæc facias? Tune hic homines adolescentulos,

Imperitos rerum, eductos, libere, in frauduin illicis? shaking hands, as removing all malice, they retired

Sollicitando et pollicitando eorum animos lactas? with much grace to the extremities of it; from

Ac meretricios amores nuptiis conglutinas?

TER. And, act v. sc. 4. whence they immediately faced about, and ap- shall you escape with impunity: you who lay snares for young prodehed each other, Miller with a heart full of re- men of a liberal education, but unacquainted with the world, mlutinn, Buck with a watchful untroubled counte- and by force of importunity and promises draw them in to takse: Buck regarding pincipally his own defence,

marry harlots ? Miller chiefly thoughtful of annoying his opponent. The other day passed by me ip her chariot a lady It is not easy to describe the many escapes and with that pale and wan complexion which we sonicsaperceptible defences between two men of quick times see in young people who are fallen into sor. eyes and ready limbs; but Miller's heat laid bim row and private anxiety of mind, which antedate span w the rebuke of the calm Buck, by a large age and sickness. It is not three years ago since out on the forehead. Much effusion of blood covered she was gay, airy, and a little towards libertine in

a

name.

her carriage ; but, methought, I easily forgave her ill as giving the whole and herself to an unworthy that little insolence, which she so severely pays for husband. But Sempronia can administer consoli. in her present conditiou. Flavilla, of whom I am tion to an unhappy fair at home, by leading her to speaking, sis married to a sullen fool with wealth. an agreeable gallant elsewhere. She can then Her beauty and merit are lost upon the dolt, who preach the general condition of all the peopie in the is insensible of perfection in any thing. Their inarried world, and tell an inexperienced youug hours together are either painful or insipid. The woman, the methods of softening her afil.ction, and minutes she has to herself in his absence are not laugh at her simplicity and want of kuowledge, with sufficient to give vent at her eyes, to the grief and an “Oh! my dear, you will know better." torment of his last conversation. This poor crea- The wickedness of Sempronia, one would think, ture was sacrificed with a temper, which, under the should be superlative; but I cannot but esteem that cultivation of a man of sense, would have made the of some parents equal to it: I mean such as sacrifice most agreeable companion, into the arms of this the greatest endowments and qualifications to base loathsome yokefellow, by Sempronia. Sempronia bargains. A parent who forces a child of a liberal is a good lady, who supports herself in an affluent and ingenious* spirit into the arms of a clown or a condition, by contracting friendship with rich young blockhead, obliges her to a crime too odious for a widows, and maids of plentiful fortunes at their own It is in a degree the unnatural conjunetira disposal, and bestowing her friends upon worthless of rational and brutal beings. Yet what is there se indigent fellows; on the other side she insnares in- common, as the bestowing an accomplished woman considerate and rash youths of great estates into the with such a disparity? And I could name crowds arms of vicious women. For this purpose, she is who lead miserable lives for want of knowledge is accomplished in all the arts which can make her their parents of this maxim, that good sense and acceptable at impertinent visits; she knows all that good nature always go together. That which is aipasses in every quarter, and is well acquainted with tributed to fools, and called good-nature, is only an all the favourite servants, busy-bodies, dependants, inability of observing what is faulty, which turus, and poor relations, of all persons of condition in the in marriage, into a suspicion of every thing as such, whole town. At the price of a good suin of money, from a consciousness of that inability. Sempronia, by the instigation of Flavilla's mother,

“ MR. SPECTATOR, brought about the match for the daughter; and the reputation of this, which is apparently, in point of

“ I am entirely of your opinion with relation to fortune, more than Flavilla could expect, has gained the equestrian females, who affect both the nasceher the visits and the frequent attendance of the line and feminine air at the same time, and cannot crowd of mothers, who had rather see their children forbear making a presentment against ansther order miserable in great wealth, than the happiest of the of them, who grow very numerous and powerful; race of mankind in a less conspicuous state of life. and since our language is not very capable of good When Sempronia is so well acquainted with a wo- compound words, I must be contented to call them man's temper and circumstances, that she believes only the naked-shouldered.' These beauties are marriage would be acceptable to her, and advan. not contented to make lovers wherever they appear, tageous to the man who shall get her, her next step but they must make rivals at the same time. Were is to look out for some one, whose condition has you to see Gatty walk the park at high mall, you some secret wound in it, and wants a sum, yet, in would expect those who followed her and those she the eye of the world, not unsuitable to her. If such met her would immediately draw their swords for is not easily had, she immediately adorns a worthless her. I hope, Sir, you will provide for the future, fellow with what estate she thinks convenient, and that women may stick to their faces for doing any adds as great a share of good humour and sobriety further mischief, and not allow any but direct as is requisite. After this is settled, nu importu- traders in beauty to expose more than the fore part nities, arts, and devices, are omitted, to hasten the of the neck, unless you please to allow this afterlady to her happiness. In the general, indeed, she game to those who are very defective in the charms is a person of so strict justice, that she marries a of the countenance. I can say, to my sofron, the poor gallant to a rich wench, and a moneyless girl present practice is very unfair, when to look back is to a man of fortune. But then she has no manner death; and it may be said of our beauties, as a great of conscience in the disparity, when she has a mind poet did of bullets, to impose a poor rogue for one of an estate: she They kill and wound, like Parthians, as they Hy. has no remorse in adding to it, that he is illiterate, ignorant, and unfashioned; but makes those imper, for the little while I have left,

" I submit this to your animadversion; and am, fections arguments of the truth of his wealth; and will, on such an occasion, with a very grave face,

“ Your humble Servant, the languishing charge the people of condition with negligence in

“ PHILANTHCS the education of their children. Exception being "P. S. Suppose you mended my letter, and made the other day against an ignorant booby of made a simile about the 'porcupine;" but I submit her own clothing, whom she was putting off for a that also." rich heir: “Madam,” said she, “ you know there T. is no making children, who know they have estates, attend their books."

No. 438.] WEDNESDAY, JULY 23, 1712. Sempronia, by these arts, is loaded with presents, -Animum rege, qui, nisi paret, importuned for her acquaintance, and admired by

Imperat- Hor. Ep. il. 62. those who do not know the first taste of life, as a

-Curb thy soul,

And check thy rage, which must be ruld or rule.-Cruce woman of exemplary good-breeding. But sure to murder and rob are less iniquities, than to raise It is a very common expression that such a one profit by abuses as irreparable as taking away life; is very good-natured, but very passionate. The ex- . but more grievous, as making it lastingly unbappy. To rob a lady at play of half her fortune, is not so

• Ingepuons

a

pression, indeed, is very good-natured, to allow with as little consistency, and threatens things as passionate people so much quarter : but I think a much out of his power. passionate man deserves the least indulgence ima- The next disagreeable person to the outrageous vinable. It is said, it is soon over; that is, all the gentleman, is one of a much lower order of anmischief be does is quickly dispatched, which, I ger, and he is what we commonly call a peevish think, is no great recommendation to favour. I fellow. A peevish fellow is one who has some reason have known one of these good-natured passionate in himself for being out of humour, or has a natural men say in a mixed company, even to his own wife incapacity for delight, and therefore disturbs all or child, such things as the most inveterate enemy who are happier than himself with pishes and of bis family would not have spoken, even in ima- pshaws, or other well-bred interjections, at every gination. It is certain that quick sensibility is in. thing that is said or done in his presence. There separable from a ready understanding; but why should be physic mixed in the food of all which should not that good understanding call to itself all these fellows eat in good company. This degree of its force on such occasions, to master that sudden in- anger passes, forsooth, for a delicacy of judgment, clination to anger? One of the greatest souls now that will not admit of being easily pleased; but in the world is the most subject by nature to anger, vone above the character of wearing a peevish and yet so famous, from a conquest of himself this man's livery ought to bear wid his ill manners. All way that he is the known example when you talk of things among men of sense fand condition should temper and command of a man's self. To contain pass the censure, and have the protection, of the the spirit of anger, is the worthiest discipline we can eye of reason. put ourselves to. When a man has made any pro- No man ought to be tolerated in an habitual gress this way, a frivolous fellow in a passion is to bumour, whi or particularity of behaviour, by bim as contemptible as a froward child. It ought any who do not wait upon him for bread. Next te to be the study of every man for his own quiet and the peevish fellow is the sparler. This gentleman peace. When he stands combustible and ready to deals mightily in what we call the irony; and as fame upon every thing that touches him, life is as those sort of people exert themselves most against uneasy to himself as it is to all about him. Syncro- those below them, you see their humour best in pius leads, of all men living, the most ridiculous their talk to their servants. “ That is so like you ; life; he is ever offending and begging pardon. If you are a fine fellow; Thou art the quickest head. his man enters the room without what he was sent piece;" and the like. One would think the hectorfor That blockhead," begins hem" Gentlemen, ing, the storming, the sullen, and all the different I ask your pardon, but servants now-a-days"- species and subordinations of the angry should be The wrong plates are laid, they are thrown into the cured, by knowing they live only as pardoned men ; middle of the room; his wife stands by in pain for and how pitiful is the condition of being only sufhim, which he sees in her face, and answers as if he fered! But I am interrupted by the pleasantest had heard all she was thinking :-"Why? what scone of anger and the disappointment of it that I the devil! Why don't you take care to give orders have ever known, which happened while I was yet in these things ?” His friends sit down to a taste- writing, and I overheard as I sat in the back-room less plenty of every thing, every minute expecting at a French bookseller's. There came into the new insults from his impertinent passions. In å shop a very learned man with an erect solemn air; word, to eat with, or visit Syncropius, is no other and though a person of great parts otherwise, slow than going to see him exercise his family, exercise in understanding any thing whieh makes against their patience, and his own anger.

himself. The composure of the faulty man, and the It is monstrous that the shame and confusion in whimsical perplexity of him that was justly angry, which this good-patured angry man must needs be- is perfectly new. After turning over many volumes, hold his friends, while he thus lays about him, does said the seller to the buyer, “Sir, you know I have not give him so much reflection, as to create an long asked you to send me back the first volume of amendment. This is the most scandalous disuse of the French sermons I formerly lent you.”“Sir," reason imaginable : all the harmless part of him is said the chapman, I have often looked for it, do more than that of a bull-dog, they are tame no but cannot find it; it is certainly lost, and I know longer than they are not offended. One of these not to whom I lent it, it is so many years ago." good-natured angry men shall, in an instant, assem- Then, Sir, here is the other volume; I'll send you ble together so many allusions to secret circum- home that, and please to pay for both."-ly stances, as are enough to dissolve the peace of all friend," replied he, “ canst thou be so senseless as the families and friends he is acquainted with in a not to know that one volume is as imperfect in my quarter of an hour, and yet the next moment be the library as in your shop P”“ Yes, Sir, but it is best-natured man in the whole world. If you would you have lost the first volume; and, to be short, I see passion in its purity, without mixture of reason, will be paid.”—“Sir,” answered the chapman, behold it represented in a mad hero, drawn by a you are a young man, your book is lost; and mad poet. Nat. Lee makes his Alexander say learn by this little loss to bear much greater adver

sities, which you must expect to meet with.”Away! begone! and give a whirlwind room,

“Yes, Sir, but I'll bear when I must, but I have Or I will blow you up like dust! Avaunt!

not lost now, for I say you have it, and shall pay Madness but meanly represents my toil.

me.”—“Friend, you grow warm; I tell you the Pury! revenge! disdain and indignation !

book is lost; and I foresee, in the course even of a Tear my swoll'n breast, make way for fire and tempest. prosperous life, that you will meet afflictions to My brain is burst, debate and reason quenchid; The storm is up, and my hot bleeding heart

make you mad, if you cannot bear this trifle."Splits with the rack; while passions, like the wind,

“Sir, there is in this case no need of bearing, for Rise up to heav'n, and put out all the stars.

you have the book."-" I say, Sir, I have not the Every passionate fellow in town talks half the day book ; but your passion will not let you hear enougth

to be informed that I have it not. Learn resigna• Lord Somers.

tion of yourself to the distresses of this life : nay, do

thus

Eternal discord!