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The tickets which were delivered out for the benefit of Signor Nicolini Grimaldi on the twentyfourth instant will be taken on Thursday the second of March, his benefit being deferred until that day. N. B. In all operas for the future, where it thunders and lightens in proper time and in tune, the matter of the said lighting is to be of the finest rosin; and, for the sake of harmony, the same which is used to the best Cremona fiddles.
Note also, that the true perfumed lightning is only prepared and sold by Mr. Charles Lillie, at the corner of Beaufort-buildings.
The lady who has chosen Mr. Bickerstaff for her Valentine, and is at a loss what to present him with, is desired to make him, with her own hands, a warm night-cap.
No. 138.] SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 25, 1709-10.
who is said to have had an enchanted ring, which had in it a miraculous quality, making him who wore it visible or invisible, as he turned it to or from his body. The use Gyges made of his occasional invisibility was, by the advantage of it, to violate a queen, and murder a king. Tully takes notice of this allegory, and says very handsomely, 'that a man of honour who had such a ring would act just in the same manner as he would without it.' It is indeed no small pitch of virtue, under the temptation of impunity, and the hopes of accomplishing all a man desires, not to transgress the rules of justice and virtue; but this is rather not being an ill man, than being positively a good one; and it seems wonderful, that so great a soul as Tully should not form to himself a thousand worthy actions, which a virtuous mind would be prompted to by the possession of such a secret. There are certainly some part of mankind that are guardian-beings to the other. Sallust could say of Cato, That he had rather be, than appear, good,' but, indeed, this eulogium rose no higher than, as I just now hinted, to an inoffensiveness, rather than an active virtue. Had it occurred to the noble orator to represent, in his language, the glorious pleasures of a man secretly employed in beneficence and generosity, it would certainly have made a more charming page than any he has left behind him. How might a man, furnished with Gyges's secret, employ it in bringing together distant friends; laying snares for creating good-will in the room of groundless hatred; in removing the pangs of an unjust jealousy, the shyness of an imperfect reconciliation, and the tremor of an awful love! Such a-one could give confidence to bashful merit, and confusion to overbearing impudence.
Certain it is, that secret kindnesses done to mankind are as beautiful as secret injuries are detestable. To be invisibly good is as godlike, as to be invisibly ill diabolical. As degenerate as we are apt to say the age we live in is, there are still amongst us men of illustrious minds, who enjoy all the pleasures of good actions, except that of being commended for them. There happens, among other very worthy instances of a public spirit, one which I am obliged to discover, because I know not otherwise how to obey the commands of the benefactor. A citizen of London has given directions to Mr. Rayner, the writing-master of St. Paul's school, to educate at his charge ten boys, who shall be nominated by me, in writing and accounts, until they shall be fit for any trade; I desire, therefore, such as know any proper objects for receiving this bounty, to give notice thereof to Mr. Morphew, or Mr. Lillie; and they shall, if properly qualified, have instructions accordingly.
Ir is an argument of a clear and worthy spirit in a man to be able to disengage himself from the opinions of others, so far as not to let the deference due to the sense of mankind ensnare him to act against the dictates of his own reason. But the generality of the world are so far from walking by any such maxim, that it is almost a standing rule to do as others do, or be ridiculous. I have heard my old friend, Mr. Hart, speak it as an observation among the players, that it is impossible to act with grace, except the actor has forgot that he is before an audience.' Until he has arrived at that, his motion, his air, his very step and gesture, has something in them which discovers that he is under a restraint, for fear of being ill received; or, if he considers himself as in the presence of those who approve his behaviour, you see an affectation of that pleasure run through his whole carriage. It is as common in life, as upon the stage, to behold a man in the most indifferent action betray a sense he has of doing what he is about gracefully. Some have such an immoderate relish for applause, that they expect it for things, which in themselves are so frivolous, that it is impossible, without this affectation, to make them appear worthy either of blame or praise. There is Will Glare, so passionately intent upon being admired, that when you see him in public places, every muscle of his face discovers his thoughts are fixed upon the consideration of what figure he makes. He will fall into a musing posture, to attract observation; and is then obtruding himself upon the company, when he pretends to be withdrawn from it. Actions of this kind have in them something so Such little arts are the certain and infallible tokens transcendant, that it is an injury to applaud them, of a superficial mind, as the avoiding observation is and a diminution of that merit which consists in the sign of a great and sublime one. It is there- shunning our approbation. We shall therefore leave fore extremely difficult for a man to judge even of them to enjoy that glorious obscurity; and silently his own actions, without forming to himself an idea admire their virtue who can contemn the most deof what he should act, were it in his power to exe-licious of human pleasures, that of receiving due cute all his desires without the observation of the rest of the world. There is an allegorical fable in Plato, which seems to admonish us, that we are very little acquainted with ourselves, while we know our actions are to pass the censures of others; but, had we the power to accomplish all our wishes unobserved, we should then easily inform ourselves how far we are possessed of real and intrinsic virtue. The fable I was going to mention is that of Gyges,
praise. Such celestial dispositions very justly suspend the discovery of their benefactions, until they come where their actions cannot be misinterpreted, and receive their first congratulations in the company of angels.
Whereas Mr. Bickerstaff, by a letter bearing date this twenty-fourth of February, has received information, that there are, in and about the Royal Ex
change, a sort of people commonly known by the name of Whetters, who drink themselves into an intermediate state of being neither drunk nor sober before the hours of Exchange or business; and in that condition buy and sell stocks, discount notes, and do many other acts of well-disposed citizens; this is to give notice, that from this day forward, no Whetter shall be able to give or endorse any note, or execute any other point of commerce, after the third half-pint, before the hour of one; and whoever shall transact any matter or matters with a Whetter, not being himself of that order, shall be conducted to Moorfields upon the first application of his next
N.B.-No tavern near the Exchange shall deliver wine to such as drink at the bar standing, except the same shall be three parts of the best cider, and the master of the house shall produce a certificate of the same from Mr. Tintoret, or some other credible wine-painter.
Whereas the model of the intended Bedlam is now finished, and the edifice itself will be very suddenly begun; it is desired, that all such as have relations, whom they would recommend to our care, would bring in their proofs with all speed; none being to be admitted, of course, but lovers, who are put into an immediate regimen. Young politicians also are received without fees or examination.
No. 139.] TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 1710.
Sheer Lane, February 27. } WHEN I reflect upon the many nights I have sat up for some months last past, in the greatest anxiety for the good of my neighbours and contemporaries, it is no small discouragement to me, to see how slow a progress I make in the reformation of the world. But indeed I must do my female readers the justice to own, that their tender hearts are much more susceptible of good impressions than the minds of the other sex. Business and ambition take up men's thoughts too much to leave room for philosophy; but if you speak to women in a style and manner proper to approach them, they never fail to improve by your counsels. I shall therefore, for the future, turn my thoughts more particularly to their service; and study the best methods to adorn their persons, and inform their minds in the justest methods to make them what nature designed them, the most beauteous objects of our eyes, and the most agreeable companions of our lives. But, when I say this, I must not omit, at the same time, to look into their errors and mistakes, that being the readiest way to the intended end of adorning and instructing them. It must be acknowledged, that the very inadvertences of this sex are owing to the other; for if men were not flatterers, women could not fall into that general cause of all their follies and our misfortunes, the love of flattery. Were the commendation of these agreeable creatures built upon its proper foundation, the higher we raised their opinion of themselves, the greater would be the advantage to our sex; but all the topic of praise is drawn from very senseless and
extravagant ideas we pretend to have of their beauty and perfection. Thus, when a young man falls in love with a young woman, from that moment she is no more Mrs. Alice such-a-one, born of such a father, and educated by such a mother; but from the first minute that he casts his eye upon her with desire, he conceives a doubt in his mind, what heavenly power gave so unexpected a blow to a heart that was ever before untouched. But who can resist fate and destiny, which are lodged in Mrs. Alice's eyes? after which he desires orders accordingly, whether he is to live or die; the smile or frown of his goddess is the only thing that can now either save or destroy him. By this means, the well-humoured girl, that would have romped with him before she had received this declaration, assumes a state suitable to the majesty he has given her, and treats him as the vassal he calls himself. The girl's head is immediately turned by having the power of life and death, and takes care to suit every motion and air to her new sovereignty. After he has placed himself at this distance, he must never hope to recover his former familiarity, until she has had the addresses of another, and found them less sincere.
If the application to women were justly turned, the address of flattery, though it implied at the same time an admonition, would be much more likely to succeed. Should a captivated lover, in a billet, let his mistress know, that her piety to her parents, her gentleness of behaviour, her prudent economy with respect to her own little affairs in a virgin condition, had improved the passion which her beauty had inspired him with, into so settled an esteem for her, that of all women breathing he wished her his wife; though his commending her for qualities she knew she had as a virgin, would make her believe he expected from her an answerable conduct in the characer of a matron; I will answer for it, his suit would be carried on with less perplexity.
Instead of this, the generality of our young women, taking all their notions of life from gay writings or letters of love, consider themselves as goddesses, nymphs, and shepherdesses.
By this romantic sense of things, all the natural, relations and duties of life are forgotten; and our female part of mankind are bred and treated, as if they were designed to inhabit the happy fields of Arcadia, rather than be wives and mothers in Old England. It is, indeed, long since I had the happi ness to converse familiarly with this sex, and therefore have been fearful of falling into the error which recluse men are very subject to, that of giving false representations of the world, from which they have retired, by imaginary schemes drawn from their own reflections. An old man cannot easily gain admittance into the dressing-room of ladies; I therefore thought it time well spent to turn over Agrippa, and use all my occult art, to give my old cornelian ring the same force with that of Gyges, which I have lately spoken of. By the help of this I went un observed to a friend's house of mine, and followed the chambermaid invisibly about twelve of the clock into the bedchamber of the beauteous Flavia, his fine daughter, just before she got up.
I drew the curtains; and being wrapped up in the safety of my old age, could with much pleasure, without passion, behold her sleeping, with Waller's poems, and a letter fixed in that part of him where every woman thinks herself described. The light flashing upon her face, awakened her; she opened her eyes, and her lips too, repeating that piece of false wit in that admired poet,
Such Helen was; and who can blame the boy, That in so bright a flame consum'd his Troy? Waller. This she pronounced with a most bewitching sweetness; but after it, fetched a sigh, that methought had more desire than languishment: then took out her letter; and read aloud, for the pleasure, I suppose, of hearing soft words in praise of herself, the following epistle
'I sat near you at the opera last night; but knew no entertainment from the vain show and noise about me, while I waited wholly intent upon the motion of your bright eyes, in hopes of a glance that might restore me to the pleasures of sight and hearing in the midst of beauty and harmony. It is said, the hell of the accursed in the next life arises from an incapacity to partake the joys of the blessed, though they were to be admitted to them. Such, I am sure, was my condition all that evening; and if you, my deity, cannot have so much mercy, as to make me by your influence capable of tasting the satisfaction of life, my being is ended, which consisted only in your favour.'
The letter was hardly read over, when she rushed out of bed in her wrapping gown, and consulted her glass for the truth of his passion. She raised her head, and turned it to a profile, repeating the last lines, My being is ended, which consisted only in your favour. The goddess immediately called her maid, and fell to dressing that mischievous face of hers, without any manner of consideration for the mortal who had offered up his. Nay, it was so far otherwise, that the whole time of her woman's combing her hair was spent in discourse of the impertinence of his passion, and ended in declaring a resolution, if she ever had him, to make him wait.' She also frankly told the favourite gipsy that was prating to her, that her passionate lover had put it out of her power to be civil to him, if she were inclined to it; for,' said she, if I am thus celestial to my lover, he will certainly so far think himself disappointed, as I grow into the familiarity and form
of a mortal woman.'
I came away as I went in, without staying for other remarks than what confirmed me in the opi nion, that it is from the notions the men inspire them with, that the women are so fantastical in the value of themselves. This imaginary pre-eminence which is given to the fair sex, is not only formed from the addresses of people of condition, but it is the fashion and humour of all orders to go regularly out of their wits, as soon as they begin to make love. I know at this time three goddesses in the New Exchange; and there are two shepherdesses that sell gloves in Westminster-hall.
No. 140.] THURSDAY, MARCH 2, 1709-10.
less concerned at this, because I have for this day or two last past observed, that we novelists have been condemned wholly to the pastry-cooks. the eyes of the nation being turned upon greater matters. This, therefore, being a time when none but my immediate correspondents will read me, I shall speak to them chiefly at this present writing. It is the fate of us who pretend to joke, to be frequently understood to be only upon the droll when we are speaking the most seriously, as appears by the following letter to Charles Lillie.
London, Feb. 28, 1709-10. It being professed by Esquire Bickerstaff, that his intention is to expose the vices and follies of the age, and to promote virtue and good-will amongst mankind; it must be a comfort for a person labouring under great straits and difficulties, to read any thing that has the appearance of succour. I should be glad to know, therefore, whether the intelligence given in his Tatler of Saturday last, of the intended charity of a certain citizen of London, to maintain the education of ten boys in writing and accounts until they be fit for trade, be given only to encourage and recommend persons to the practice of such nobie and charitable designs; or, whether there be a person who really intends to do so. If the latter, I humbly beg Esquire Bickerstaff's pardon for making a doubt, and impute it to my ignorance; and most humbly crave, that he would be pleased to give notice in his Tatler, when he thinks fit, whether his nomination of ten boys be disposed, or whether there be room for two boys to be recommended to him; and that he will permit the writer of this to present him with two boys, who, it is humbly presumed, will be judged to be very remarkable objects of such charity. 'Sir,
'Your most humble servant.'
I am to tell this gentleman in sober sadness, and without jest, that there really is so good and charitable a man as the benefactor enquired for in his letter, and that there are but two boys yet named. the father of the other at Almanza. I do not here give the names of the children, because I should take it to be an insolence in me to publish them, in a charity which I have only the direction of as a bestows upon them this bounty without laying the servant to that worthy and generous spirit, who bondage of an obligation. What I have to do is to to kill in them, as they grow up, the false shame of tell them, they are beholden only to their Maker, poverty; and let them know, that their present fortune, which is come upon them by the loss of their poor fathers on so glorious occasions, is much more honourable than the inheritance of the most ample ill-gotten wealth.
The father of one of them was killed at Blenheim,
The next letter which lies before me is from a man of sense, who strengthens his own authority with that of Tully, in persuading me to what he very justly believes one cannot be averse.
Per caput, et circa saliunt latus-
Sheer-lane, March 2
HAVING the honour to be, by my great grandmother, a Welshman, I have been among some choice spirits of that part of Great Britain, where we solaced ourselves in celebration of the day of St. David. I am, I confess, elevated above that state of mind which is proper for lucubration: but I am the
'MR. BICKERSTAFF, London, Feb. 27, 1709. "I am so confident of your inclination to promote
arts, that I lay before you the following translation of a paragraph in Cicero's oration in defence of Archias the poet, as an incentive to the agreeable and instructive reading of the writings of the Augustan age. Most vices and follies proceed from a man's incapacity of entertaining himself, and we are generally fools in company, because we dare not be wise alone. I hope, on some future occasions, you
will find this no barren hint. Tully, after having | transgress against the latter, to preserve our reputasaid very handsome things of his client, commends tion in the former. Your humble servant, the arts of which he was master, as follows:
If so much profit be not reaped in the study of letters, and if pleasure only be found; yet, in my opinion, this relaxation of the mind should be esteemed most humane and ingenuous. Other things are not for all ages, places, and seasons. These studies form youth, delight old age, adorn prosperity, and soften, and even remove adversity, entertain at home, are no hindrance abroad; do not leave us at night, and keep us company on the road, and in the country. I am,
Your humble servant, 'STREPHON"
The following epistle seems to want the quickest despatch, because a lady is every moment offended until it is answered, which is best done by letting the offender see in her own letter how tender she is of calling him sɔ.
This comes from a relation of yours, though unknown to you, who, besides the tie of consanguinity, has some value for you on the account of your lucubrations, those being designed to refine our conversation, as well as cultivate our minds. I humbly beg the favour of you, in one of your Tatlers, after what manner you please, to correct a particular friend of mine, for an indecorum he is guilty of in discourse, of calling his acquaintance, when he speaks to them, Madam: as for example, my cousin Jenny Distaff, Madam Distaff; which, I am sure you are sensible, is very unpolite, and it is what makes me often uneasy for him, though I cannot tell him of it myself, which makes me guilty of this presumption, that I depend upon your goodness to excuse; and I do assure you, the gentleman will mind your reprehension, for he is, as I am, Sir,
"Your most humble servant and cousin, 'DOROTHY DRUMSTICK.' I write this in a thin under-petticoat, and never did or will wear a fardingal.'
I had no sooner read the just complaint of Mrs. Drumstick, but I received an urgent one from another of the fair sex, upon faults of a more pernicious consequence.
Observing that you are entered into a correspondence with Pasquin, who is, I suppose, a Roman catholic, I beg of you to forbear giving him any account of our religion or manners, until you have rooted out certain misdemeanours even in our churches. Among others, that of bowing, saluting, taking snuff, and other gestures. Lady Autumn made me a very low courtesy the other day from the next pew, and, with the most courtly air imaginable, called herself miserable sinner. Her niece, soon after saying, Forgive us our trespasses, courtesied with a gloating look at my brother. He returned it, opening his snuff-box, and repeating yet a more solemn expression. I beg of you, good Mr. Censor, not to tell Pasquin any thing of this kind, and to believe this does not come from one of a morose temper, mean birth, rigid education, narrow fortune, or bigotry in opinion, or from one in whom time has worn out all taste of pleasure. I assure you, it is far otherwise, for I am possessed of all the contrary advantages; and, I hope, wealth, good humour, and good breeding, may be best employed in the service of religion and virtue; and desire you would, as soon as possible, remark upon the abovementioned indecorums, that we may not long
THE TATLER. No. 28
'LYDIA.' The last letter I shall insert is what follows. This is written by a very inquisitive lady; and, I think, such interrogative gentlewomen are to be answered no other way than by interrogation. Her billet is this: DEAR MR. BICKERSTAFF,
'Are you quite as good as you seem to be? 'CHLOE.'
To which I can only answer: 'DEAR CHLOE,
'Are you quite as ignorant as you seem to be? 'I. B..
No. 141.] SATURDAY, MARCH 4, 1709-10.
Sheer-lane, March 3.
WHILE the attention of the town is drawn aside from reading us writers of news, we all save ourselves against it is at more leisure. As for my own part, I shall still let the labouring oar be managed by my correspondents, and fill my paper with their sentiments rather than my own, until I find my readers more disengaged than they are at present. When I came home this evening, I found several letters and petitions, which I shall insert with no other order, than as I accidentally opened them, as follows: 'SIR,
March 1, 1709-10.
Having a daughter about nine years of age, I would endeavour she might have education: I mean such as may be useful, as working well, and a good deportment. In order to it, I am persuaded to place her at some boarding-school, situate in a good air. My wife opposes it, and gives for her greatest reason, that she is too much a woman, and understands the formalities of visiting and a tea-table so very nicely, that none, though much older, can exceed her; and, with all these perfections, the girl can scarce thread a needle: but, however, after several arguments, we have agreed to be decided by your judgment: and, knowing your abilities, shall manage our daughter exactly as you shall please to direct. I am serious in my request, and hope you will be so in your answer, which will lay a deep obligation upon, Sir, your humble servant, T. T.
'Sir, pray answer it in your Tatler, that it may be serviceable to the public."
I am as serious on this subject as my correspondent can be; and am of opinion that the great happiness or misfortune of mankind depends upon the manner of educating and treating that sex. I have lately said, I design to turn my thoughts more particularly to them, and their service: I beg therefore a little time to give my opinion on so important a subject, and desire the young lady may fill tea one week longer, until I have considered whether she shall be removed or not.
'Chancery-lane, Feb. 27, 1709.
ESQUIRE, CENSOR OF GREAT BRITAIN, AND GO-
The petition of the inhabitants of the parish of
the same days, and mightily taken with the union TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFUL ISAAC BICKERSTAFF, of the dulcimer, violin, and song; at which recreation they rejoice together with perfect harmony, however their clients disagree: You are humbly desired by several gentlemen to give some regulation concerning them; in which you will contribute to the repose of us, who are your very humble servants, 'L.T. N. F. T. W. These Whetters are a people I have considered with much pains; and find them to differ from a sect I have hitherto spoken of, called snuff-takers, only in the expedition they take in destroying their brains; the Whetter is obliged to refresh himself every moment with a liquor, as the snuff-taker with a powder. As for their harmony in the evening, I have nothing to object; provided they remove to Wapping, or the Bridge-foot, where it is not to be supposed that their vociferations will annoy the studious, the busy, or the contemplative. I once had lodgings in Gray's-Inn, where we had two hard students, who learned to play upon the hautboy; and I had a couple of chamber-fellows over my head not less diligent in the practice of back-sword and single-rapier. I remember these gentlemen were assigned by the benchers the two houses at the end of the terrace-walk, as the only place fit for their meditations. Such students as will let none improve but "Your petitioners further say, that they are ready themselves, ought, indeed, to have their proper dis-to prove the aforesaid allegations; and therefore humbly hope, that from a true sense of their conThe gentlemen of loud mirth above-mentioned Idition, you will please to receive the said preacher take to be, in the quality of their crime, the same into the hospital, until he shall recover a right use as eaves-droppers; for they who will be in your of his senses. And your petitioners, &c.* company whether you will or no, are to as great a degree offenders, as they who hearken to what passes without being of your company at all. The ancient punishment for the latter when I first came to this town, was the blanket, which, I humbly conceive, may be as justly applied to him that bawls, as to him that listens. It is therefore provided for the future, that, except in the long vacation, no retainers to the law, with dulcimer, violin, or any other instrument, in any tavern within a furlong of an inn of court, shall sing any tune, or pretended tune whatsoever, upon pain of the blanket, to be administered according to the discretion of all such peaceable people as shall be within the annoyance. And it is further directed, that all clerks who shall offend in this kind, shall forfeit their indentures, and be turned over as assistants to the clerks of parishes within the bills of mortality, who are hereby empowered to demand them accordingly.
That whereas it is the undoubted right of your said petitioners to repair on every Lord's day to a chapel of ease in the said parish, there to be instructed in their duties in the known or vulgar tongue; yet so it is, may it please your worship, that the preacher of the said chapel has of late given himself wholly up to matters of controversy, in nowise tending to the edification of your said petitioners; and in handling, as he calls it, the same, has used divers hard and crabbed words; such as, among many others, orthodox and heteredor, which are in no sort understood by your said petitioners; and it is with grief of heart, that your petitioners beg leave to represent to you, that, mentioning the aforesaid words or names, the latter of which, as we have reason to believe, is his deadly enemy, he will fall into ravings and foamings, ill becoming the meekness of his office, and tending to give offence and scandal to all good people.
tances from societies.
No. 142.] TUESDAY, MARCH 7, 1709-10.
ALL persons who employ themselves in public, are still interrupted in the course of their affairs; and it seems the admired cavalier Nicolini himself is commanded by the ladies, who at present employ their time with great assiduity in the care of the nation, to put off his day until he shall receive their com mands, and notice that they are at leisure for diversions. In the mean time it is not to be expressed, how many cold chickens the fair-ones have eaten since this day sevennight for the good of their country. This great occasion has given birth to many discoveries of high moment for the conduct of life. There is a toast of my acquaintaince who told me, she had now found out, that it was day before nine in the morning;' and I am very confident, if I am not to omit the receipt of the following letter, the affair hold many days longer, the ancient with a night-cap from my Valentine; which night-hours of eating will be revived among us, many cap, I find, was finished in the year 1588, and is too finely wrought to be of any modern stitching. Its antiquity will better appear by my Valentine's own words:
Since you are pleased to accept of so mean a present as a night-cap from your Valentine, I have sent you one, which I do assure you has been very much esteemed of in our family; for my great grandmother's daughter, who worked it, was mai of honour to queen Elizabeth, and had the misfortune to lose her life by pricking her finger in the making of it, of which she bled to death, as he tomb now at Westminster will show. For which reason, neither myself, nor any of the family, have loved work ever since; otherwise you should have one, as you desired, made by the hands of, Sir,
having by it been made acquainted with the luxury of hunger and thirst.
There appears, methinks, something very venerable in all assemblies: and I must confess, I envied all who had youth and health enough to make their appearance there, that they had the happiness of being a whole day in the best company in the world. During the adjournments of that awful court, a neighbour of mine was telling me, that it gave him a notion of the ancient grandeur of the English hospitality, to see Westminster-Hall a lining-room. There is a cheerfulness in such repasts, which is very delightful to tempers which are so happy as to be clear of spleen and vapour, for, o the jovial, to see others pleased is the greatest of ill pleasures.
But, since age and infirmities forbid my appear ince at such public places, the next happiness is to nake the best use of privacy, and acquit myself of