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away with me a spirit which had lost its body in a among which they pretend to reckon fighting. It was duel. We were both examined. Me the whole pleasantly enough said of a bully in France, when assembly looked at with kindness and pity, but, at duels first began to be punished: The King has the same time, with an air of welcome and consola- taken away gaming and stage-playing, and now tion: they pronounced me very happy, who had died fighting too; how does he expect gentlemen shall in innocence; and told me, "a quite different place divert themselves ?' was allotted for my companion; there being a great distance from the mansions of fools and innocents : No. 27.) SATURDAY, JUNE 11, 1709. though, at the same time, said one of the ghosts, there is a great affinity between an idiot who has been
White's Chocolate-house, June 9. so for a long life, and a child who departs before PACOLET being gone a-strolling among the men of maturity. But this gentleman who has arrived with the sword, in order to find out the secret causes of you is a fool of his own making, is ignorant out of the frequent disputes we meet with, and furnish me choice, and will fare accordingly.” The assembly with materials for my treatise on duelling: I have began to flock about him, and one said to him, “Sir, room left to go on in my information to my country i obserred you came in through the gate of persons readers, whereby they may understand the bright murdered, and I desire to know what brought you to people whose memoirs I have taken upon me to write. your untimely end ?” He said, " he had been a But in my discourse of the twenty-eighth of the second.” Socrates (who may be said to have been last month, I omitted to mention the most agreeable murdered by the commonwealth of Athens) stood by of all bad characters, and that is, a Rake. and began to draw near him, in order, after his A Rake is a man always to be pitied; and if he manner, to lead him into a sense of his error by con- lives, is one day certainly reclaimed ; for his faults cessions in his own discourse. “Sir," said that divine proceed not from choice or inclination, but from strong and amicable spirit, “ what was the quarrel ?" He passions and appetites, which are in youth too violent answered, “ We shall know very suddenly when the for the curb of reason, good sense, good manners, principal in the business comes, for he was despe- and good-nature: all which he must have by nature rately wounded before I fell.” “ Sir," said the sage, and education, before he can be allowed to be, or to " had you an estate ?" "Yes, sir,” the new guest have been of this order. He is a poor unwieldy answered, “I have left it in a very good condition, wretch that commits faults out of the redundance of and made my will the night before this occasion." his good qualities. His pity and compassion make “ Did you read it before you signed it ?” “Yes, him sometimes a bubble to all his fellows, let them sure, sir," said the new comer. Socrates replies, be never so much below him in understanding. His "Could a man, that would not give his estate without desires run away with him through the strength and reading the instrument, dispose of his life without force of a lively imagination, which hurries him on to asking a question ?” That illustrious shade turned unlawful pleasures, before reason has power to come from him, and a crowd of impertinent goblins, who in to his rescue. Thus, with all the good intentions had been drolls and parasites in their life-time, and in the world to amendment, this creature sins on were knocked on the head for their sauciness, came against heaven, himself, his friends, and his country, about my fellow-traveller, and made themselves very who all call for a better use of his talents. There is merry with questions about the words Carte and not a being under the sun so miserable as this: he Tierce, and other terms of fencers. But his thoughts goes on in a pursuit he himself disapproves, and has began to settle into reflection upon the adventure no enjoyment but what is followed by remorse; no which had robbed him of his late being; and, with a relief from remorse, but the repetition of his crime. wretched sigh, said he," How terrible are conviction It is possible I may talk of this person with too much and guilt, when they come too late for penitence !" indulgence; but I must repeat it, that I think this a
Pacolet was going on in his strain, but he recovered character which is the most the object of pity of any from it, and told me, 'It was too soon to give my in the world. The man in the pangs of the stone, discourse on this subject so serious a turn ; you have gout, or any acute distemper, is not in so deplorable chiefly to do with that part of mankind which must a condition, in the eye of right sense, as he that errs be led into reflection by degrees, and you must treat and repents, and repents, and errs on. The fellow this custom with humour and raillery to get an audi- with broken limbs justly deserves your alms for his ence, before you come to pronounce sentence upon it. impotent condition ; but he that cannot use his own There is foundation enough for raising such enter- reason is in a much worse state ; for you see him in tainments, from the practice on this occasion. Do miserable circumstances, with his remedy at the same not you know that ofien a man is called out of bed time in his own possession, if he would, or could use to follow implicitly a coxcomb (with whom he would it. This is the cause that, of all ill characters, the not keep company on any other occasion) to ruin and Rake has the best quarter in the world ; for when he death ? --Then a good list of such as are qualified by is himself, and unruffed with intemperance, you see the laws of these uncourteous men of chivalry to his natural faculties exert themselves, and attract an enter into combat (who are often persons of honour eye of favour towards his infirmities. without common honesty ;) these, I say, ranged and
But if we look round us here, how many dull drawn up in their proper order, would give an aver- rogues are there, that would fain be what this poor $ion to doing any thing in common with such as men man hates himself for? All the noise towards six in laugh at and contemn. But to go through this work, the evening is caused by his mimics and imitators. you must not let your thoughts vary, or make excur- How ought men of sense to be careful of their actions, sions from your theme: consider, at the same time, if it were merely from the indignation of seeing themthat the matter has been often treated by the ablest selves ill-drawn by such little pretenders ! Not to and greatest writers ; vet that must not discourage say, he that leads is guilty of all the actions of his you: for the properest person to handle it, is one followers; and a Rake has imitators whom you would who has roved into mixed conversations, and must never expect should prove so. Second-hand vice, have opportunities (which I shall give you) of seeing sure, of all, is the most nauseous. There is hardly these sort of men in their pleasures and gratifications
folly more absurd, or which seems less to be BRITISH EssayISTS, No. 7.
accounted for (though it is what we see every day,) ventured upon so high a theme as herself. To do than that grave and honest natures give into this otherwise than so, would be like making an heroie way, and at the same time have good sense, is they poem a man's first attempt. Among the favourites thought fit to use it; but the fatality (under which to the fair one, he found her parrot not to be in the most men labour) of desiring to be what they are not, last degree: he saw Poll had her ear, when his sighs makes them go out of a method in which they might were neglected. To write against him had been a be received with applause, and would certainly excel, fruitless labour; therefore he resolved to flatter him into one, wherein they will all their lives have the air into his interest in the following manner: of strangers to what they aim at. For this reason, I have not lamented the metamor
TO A LADY, ON HER PARROT. phosis of any one I know so much as of Nobilis, who When nymphs were coy, and love could not prevail, was born with sweetness of temper, just apprehen- The gods disguis'd were seldom known to fail; sion, and every thing else that might make him a Leda was chaste, but yet a feather'd Jore man fit for his order. But instead of the pursuit of Surpris’d the fair, and taught her how to love. sober studies and applications, in which he would There's no celestial but his heaven would quit, certainly be capable of making a considerable figure For any form which might to thee admit. in the noblest assembly of men in the world; I say,
See how the wanton bird at every glance, in spite of that good nature, which is his proper bent, Swells his glad plumes, and feels an amorous trance : he will say ill-natured things aloud, put such as he
The queen of beauty has forsook the dove: was, and still should be, out of countenance, and Henceforth the parrot be the bird of love. drown all the natural good in him, to receive an arti- It is indeed a very just proposition to give that ficial ill character, in which will never succeed ; honour rather to the parrot than the other volatile. for Nobilis is no Rake. He may guzzle as much The parrot represents us in the state of making lore: wine as he pleases, talk bawdy if he thinks fit; but
the dove, in the possession of the object beloved. he may as we'l drink water-gruel, and go twice a-day But, instead of turning the dove off, I fancy it would to church, for it will never do. I pronounce it again, be better if the chaise of Venus had hereafter a Nobilis is no Rake. To be of that order, he must be parrot added (as we see sometimes a third horse to 3 vicious against his will, and not so by study or appli- coach,) which might intimate, that to be a partot, is cation. All “Pretty Fellows' are also excluded to a
the only way to succeed ; and to be a dove, to preserve man, as well as all inamoratoes, or persons of the your conquests. If the swain would go on successepicene gender, who gaze at one another in the fully, he must imitate the bird he writes upon ; fer presence of ladies. This class, of which I am giving he who would be lored by women, must never be you an account, is pretended too also by men of strong silent before the favour, or open his lips after it. abilities in drinking; though they are such whom the liquor, not the conversation, keeps together. But
From my own Apartment, June 19. block heads may roar, fight, and stab, and be never
I have so many messages from young gentlemen the nearer; their labour is also lost; they want
who expect preferment and distinction, that I am sense: they are no Rakes.
wholly at a loss in what manner to acquit myself. As a Rake among men is the man who lives in the The writer of the following letter tells me in a postconstant abuse of his reason, so a Coquette among script, he cannot go out of town until I have taken women is one who lives in continual misapplication of
some notice of him, and is very urgent to be some her beauty. The chief of all whom I have the honour body in it, before he returns to his commons at the to be acquainted with, is pretty Mrs. Toss: she is university. But take it from himself:ever in practice of something which disfigures her, and takes from her charms, though all she does tends TO ISAAC BICKER STAFF, ESQ. MONITOR-GENERAL to a contrary effect. She has naturally a very agreeable voice and utterance, which she has changed for
Sheer-Lane, June 8. the prettiest lisp imaginable. She sees what she has
• I have been above six months from the university, a mind to see at half a mile distance; but poring of age these three months, and so long in town. I with her eyes half shut at every one she passes by, was recommended to one Charles Bubbleboy near the she believes much more becoming The Cupid on her fan and she have their eyes full on each other
, Temple, who has supplied me with all the furniture all the time in which they are not both in motion. tificate thereof from him, which he said would require
he says a gentleman ought to have. I desired a cerWhenever her eye is turned from that dear object
some time to consider of; and when I went yesterday you may have a glance, and your bow, if she is in morning for it, he tells me, upon due consideration, I humour, returned as civilly as you make it; but that still want some few odd things more, to the ralue of must not be in the presence of a man of greater threescore or fourscore pounds, to make me complete. quality: for Mrs. Toss is so thoroughly well-bred,
I have bespoke them; and the favor I beg of you that the chief person present has all her regards.
to know, when I am equipped, in what part or class And she who giggles at divine service, and laughs at
of men in this town you will place me. Pray send her very mother, can compose herself at the approach
me word what I am, and you shall find me, of a man of a good estate.
• Sir, your most humble servant, Will's Coffee-house, June 9.
JEFFRY NICKNACK.' A fine lady showed a gentleman of this company, I am very willing to encourage young beginners, for an eternal answer to all his addresses, a paper of but am extremely in the dark how to dispose of this verses, with which she is so captivated, that she pro- gentleman. I cannot see either bis person or habit fessed the author should be the happy man in spite in this letter; but I will call at Charles's, and know of all other pretenders. It is ordinary for love to the shape of his snuff-box, by which I can settle his make men poetical, and it had that effect on this character. Though indeed, to know his full capacity, enamoured man: but he was resolved to try his vein | I ought to be informed whether he takes Spanish or upon some of her confidants or retinue, before he Musty.
OF GREAT BRITAIN.
St. James's Coffee-house, June 10.
raised upon a man's saying another is what he plainly Letters from the Low Countries of the seventeenth takes pains to be thought. instant say, that the Duke of Marlborough and the But this point cannot be so well adjusted, as by Prince of Savoy intend to leave Ghent on that day, enquiring what are the sentiments of wise nations and join the army which lies between Pont d'Espiere and communities of the use of the sword, and from and Courtray, their head-quarters being at Helchin. thence conclude whether it is honourable to draw it The same day the Palatine foot were expected at so frequently or not ? An illustrious commonwealth Brussels. Lieutenant-general Dompre, with a body of Italy has preserved itself for many ages, without of eight thousand men, is posted at Alost, in order to letting one of their subjects handle this destructive cover Ghent and Brussels. The Marshal de Villars instrument; always leaving that work to such of was still on the pain of Lenz; and it is said the mankind as understand the use of a whole skin so Duke of Vendosme is appointed to command in con- little, as to make a profession of exposing it to cuts junction with that General. Advices from Paris say,
and scars. Monsieur Voisin is made secretary of state, upon
But what need we run to such foreign instances ? Monsieur Chamillard's resignation of that employ- Our own ancient and well governed cities are conment. The want of money in that kingdom is so spicuous examples to all mankind in their regulation great, that the court has thought fit to command all of military achievements. The chief citizens, like the plate of private families to be brought into the the noble Italians, hire mercenaries to carry arms in mint. They write from the Hague of the eighteenth, their stead; and you shall have a fellow of a desthat the states of Holland continue their session; perate fortune, for the gain of one half-crown, to go and that they have approved the resolution of the through all the dangers of Tothill-Fields, or the states-general, to publish a second edict to prohibit Artillery-Ground, clap his right jaw within two inches the sale of corn to the enemy. Many eminent persons of the touch-hole of a musquet, fire it off, and huzza, in that assembly have declared that they are of with as little concern as he tears a pullet. Thus you opinion, that all commerce whatsoever with France see, to what scorn of danger these mercenaries arrive, should be wholly forbidden : which point is under out of a mere love of sordid gain ; but methinks it present deliberation; but it is feared it will meet should take off the strong prepossession men have in with powerful opposition.
favor of bold actions, when they see upon what low
motives men aspire to them. Do but observe the No. 28.] TUESDAY, JUNE 14, 1709.
common practice in the government of those heroic
bodies, our militia and lieutenancies, the most ancient White's Chocolate-house, June 13.
corps of soldiers, perhaps in the universe; I question,
whether there is one instance of an animosity between I HAD suspended the business of duelling to a any two of these illustrious sons of Mars since their distant time, but that I am called upon to declare institution, which was decided by combat? I rememmyself on a point proposed in the following letter. ber indeed to have read the chronicle of an accident • SIR,
June 9, at night.
which had like to have occasioned bloodshed in the
very field before all the general officers, though most F'I desire the favor of you to decide this question, of them were justices of the peace. Captain Crabtree whether calling a gentleman a Smart fellow is an of Birching-lane, haberdasher, had drawn a bill upon affront or not? A youth entering a certain coffee- Major General Maggot, cheesemonger in Thameshouse, with his cane tied to his button, wearing red- street. Crabtree draws this upon Mr. William Magheeled shoes, I thought of your description, and could got and company. A country lad received this bill
, not forbear telling a friend of mine next to me, and not understanding the word company, used in “There enters a Smart Fellow.” The gentleman drawing bills on men in partnership, carried it to hearing it had immediately a mind to pick a quarrel Mr. Jeffrey Stitch of Crooked-lane (lieutenant of the with me, and desired satisfaction; at which I was major-general's company) whom he had the day before more puzzled than at the other, remembering what seen march by the door in all the pomp of his commention your familiar makes of those that had lost mission. The Lieutenant accepts it, for the honour their lives on such occasions. The thing is referred of the company, since it had come to him. But to your judgement ; and I expect you to be my repayment being asked from the Major-general, he second, since you have been the cause of our quarrel; absolutely refuses. Upon this, the lieutenant thinks I am, Sir, your friend and humble servant.'
of nothing less than to bring this to a rupture, and I absolutely pronounce, that there is no occasion takes for his second Tobias Armstrong of the Counter, of offence given in this expression ; for a Smart and sends him with a challenge in a scrip of parchPellow' is always an appellation of praise, and is a man ment, wherein was written Stitch contra Maggot, and of double capacity. The true cast or mould in which all the fury vanished in a moment. The Major-Geyou may be sure to know him is, when his livelihood neral gives satisfaction to the second, and all was well. or education is in the civil list, and you see him Hence it is, that the bold spirits of our city are express a vivacity or mettle above the way he is in, kept in such subjection to the civil power. Otherwise, by a little jerk in his motion, short trip in his steps, where would our liberties soon be, if wealth and valour well-fancied lining of his coat, or any other indica- were suffered to exert themselves with their utmost tions which may be given in a vigorous dress. Now, force? If such officers as are employed in the terrible what possible insinuation can there be that it is a bands above-mentioned, were to draw bills as well as cause of quarrel for a man to say, he allows a gentle swords, these dangerous captains, who would victual man really to be, what his tailor, his hosier, and his an army as well as lead it, would be too powerful for milliner, have conspired to make him? I confess, the state. But the point of honour justly gives way if this person who appeals to me had said, he was not to that of gain ; and, by long and wise regulation, the a Smart Fellow,' there had been cause for resentment; richest is the bravest man. I have known a captain but if he stands to it that he is one, he leaves no man- rise to a colonel in two days by the fall of stocks; and ner of ground for misunderstanding. Indeed it is a a major, my good friend near the monument, ascended most lamentable thing, that there should be a dispute to that houour by the fall of the price of spirits, and
the rising of right Nantz. By this true sense of ho- invitation from the King of Prussia to an intervies, nour, that body of warriors are ever in good order and designed to come to Potsdam within a few days and discipline, with their colours and coats all whole: as that King Augustus resolved to accompany him in other battalions (where their principles of action thither. To avoid all difficulties in ceremony, the are less solid) you see the men of service look like three Kings, and all the company who shall hare the spectres with long sides and lank cheeks. In this honour to sit with them at table, are to draw loté, army you may measure a man's service by his waist, and take precedence accordingly. and the most prominent belly is certainly the man They write from Hamburgh of the eightecath who has been most upon action. Besides all this, instant, N. S. that some particular letters from there is another excellent remark to be made in the Dantzic speak of a late action between the Swedes discipline of these troops. It being of absolute ne- and Muscovites near Jerislaw; but that engagement cessity, that the people of England should see what being mentioned from no other place, there is not they have for their money, and be eye-witnesses of much credit given to this intelligence. the advantages they gain by it, all battles which are We hear from Brussels, by letters dated the twenfought abroad are represented here. But, since one tieth, that on the fourteenth, in the evening, the side must be beaten, and the other conquer, which Duke of Marlborough and Prince Eugene arrived at might create disputes, the e dest company is always Courtray, with a design to proceed the day following to make the other run, and the younger retreats, ac- to Lisle, in the neighbourhond of which city, the cording to the latest news and best intelligence. I confederate army was to rendezvous the same day. have myself seen Prince Eugene make Catinat fly Advices from Paris inform us, that the Marshal de from the backside of Grays-Inn-lane to Hockley in Bezons is appointed to command in Dauphine, and the Hole, and not give over the pursuit, until obliged that the Duke of Berwick is set out for Spain, with a to leave the Bear-garden on the right, to avoid being design to follow the fortunes of the Duke of Anjou, borne down by fencers, wild bulls, and monsters, too in case the French King should comply with the lata terrible for the encounter of any heroes, but such demands of the allies. whose lives are their livelihood.
The court of France has sent a circular letter to all We have here seen, that wise nations do not admit the governors of the provinces, to recommend to their of fighting, even in the defence of their country, as a consideration his Majesty's late conduct in the affair laudable action; and they live within the walls of our of peace. It is thought fit, in that epistle, to conown city in great honour and reputation without it. descend to a certain appeal to the people, whether it It would be very necessary to understand, by what is consistent with the dignity of the crown, or the force of the c'imate; food, education, or employment, French name, to submit to the preliminaries de one man's sense is brought to differ so essentially manded by the confederates ? That letter dwells from that of another ; that one is ridiculous and con- upon the unreasonableness of the allies, in requirtemprible for forbearing a thing which makes for ing his Majesty's assistance in dethroning bis his safety; and another applauded for consulting his grandson ; and treats this particular in language more ruin and destruction.
suitable to it, as it is a topic of oratory, than a It will therefore be necessary for us to show our real circumstance on which the interest of nations, travelling) to examine this subject fully, and tell you and reasons of state, which affect all Europe, are how it comes to pass. that a man of honour in Spain, concerned. though you offend him never so gallantly, stabs you
The close of this memorial seems to prepare the basely; in Eng and, though you offend him never so people to expect all events, attributing the condbasely, chal.enges fairly; the former kills you out of dence of the enemy to the goodness of their troeps; revenge, the latter out of good-breeding. But to but acknowledging, that his sole dependence is upon probe the heart of man in this particular to its utmost the intervention of Providence. thoughts and recesses, I must wait for the return of Pacolet, who is now attending a gentleman lately in a duel, and sometimes visits the person by whose No. 29.] THURSDAY, JUNE 14, 1709. hands he received his wounds.
White's Chocolate-house, June 14.
HAVING a very solid respect for human nature, hor Letters from Vienna of the eighth instant say, there ever it is distorted from its natural make, by affectation, has been a journal of the marches and actions of the humour, custom, misfortune, or rice, I do apply King of Sweden, from the beginning of January to myself to my friends to help me in raising arguments the eleventh of April, N. S. comm'inicated by the for preserving it in all its individuals, as long as it is Swedish ministers to that court. These advices in- permitted. To one of my letters on this subject, I form, that his Swedish Majesty entered the territories have received the following answer: of Muscovy in February last, with the main body of "Sir-In answer to your question, why meu of his army, in order to oblige the enemy to a general sense, virtue, and e.perience, are geen still to comply engagement; but that the Muscovites declining a with that ridiculous custom of duelling? I must battle, and a universal thaw having rendered the Hesire you to reflect, that custom has dished up in rivers unpassable, the King returned into Ukrania. ruffs the wisest heads of our ancestors, and put the There are mentioned several rencounters between best of the present age into huge falbala periwigs. considerable detachments of the Swedish and Rus- Men of sense would not impose such encumbrances sian armies. Marshal Heister intended to take his on themselves, but be glad they might show their leave of the court on the day after the date of these faces decently in public upon easier terms. If then letters, and put himself at the head of the army in such men appear reasonably slaves to the fashion, in Hungary. The male-contents had attempted to send what regards the figure of their persons, we ought in a supply of provision into Newhausel ; but their not to wonder, that they are at least so in what seems design was disapprinted by the Germans.
to touch their reputations. Besides, you cannot be Advices from Berlin of the fifteenth instant, N. S. ignorant, that dress and chivalry have been always say, that his Danish Majesty having received an encouraged by the ladies, as the two principal branches
of gallantry. It is to avoid being sneered at for his MADAM-I have so tender a regard for you, and singularity, and from a desire to appear more agreeable your interests, that I will knock any man on the head . to his mistress, that a wisc, experienced, and polite whom I observe to be of my mind, and like you. Mr. man complies with the dress commonly received; and is Truman, the other day, looked at you in so languishprevailed upon to violate his reason and principles, in ing a manner, that I am resolved to run him through hazarding his life and estate by a tilt, as well as suffering to-morrow morning. This, I think, he deserves for his pleasures to be constrained and soured by the con- his guilt in admiring you : than which I cannot stant apprehension of a quarrel This is the more sur- have a greater reason for murdering him, except it be prising, because men of the most delicate sense and that you also approve him. Whoever says he dies for principles have naturally in other cases a particular you, I will make his words good ; for I will kill repugnauce in accommodating themselves to the him. I am, Madam, your most obedient humble maxims of the world ; but one may easily distinguish servant.' the man that is affected with beauty, and the reputa
From my own Apartment, June 14. tion of a tilt, from him who complies with both, merely as they are imposed upon him by custom - for, I am just come hither at ten at night, and have ever in the former, you will remark an air of vanity and since six, been in the most celebrated, though most triumph; whereas, when the latter appears in a long nauseous company in town: the two leaders of the soduvillier full of powder, or has decided a quarrel by ciety were a Critic and a Wit. These two gentlemen are the sword, you may perceive in his face, that he great opponents ou all occasions, not discerning that appeals to custom for an excuse. I think it may not they are the nearest each other, in temper and talents, be improper to inquire into the genealogy of this of any two classes of men in the world; for to profess chimerical monster called a Duel, which I take to be judgment, and to profess wit, both arise from the an illegimate species of the ancient knight-errantry.
same failure, which is want of judgment. The By the laws of this whim, the heroic person, or man poverty of the Critic this way proceeds from the abuse of gallantry, was indispensably obliged to starve in of this faculty ; that of the Wit, from the neglect of armour a certain number of years in the chace of it. It is a particular observation I have always made, monsters, encountering them at the peril of his life, and that of all mortals a Critic is the silliest ; for, by suffer great hardships, in order to gain the affection enuring himself to examine all things, whether they of the fair lady, and qualify himself for assuming the are of consequence or not, he never looks upon any belle air ; that is, of a Pretty Fellow, or man of thing but with a design of passing sentence upon it'; honour, according to the fashion : but, since the pub- by which means he is never a companion, but always lishing of Don Quixote, and extinction of the race of a censor. This makes him earnest upon trifles, and dragons, which Suetonius says happened in that of dispute on the most indifferent occasions with veheWantley, the gallant and heroic spirits of these latter
If he offers to speak or write, that talent, times have been under the necessity of creating new which should approve the work of the other faculties, chimerical monsters to entertain themselves with, by prevents their operation. He comes upon action in way of single combat, as the only proofs they are able armour, but without weapons ; he stands in safety, to give their own sex, and the ladies, that they are but can gain no glory. The Wit, on the other hand, in all points mer of nice honour. But, to do justice has been hurried so long away by imagination only, to the ancient and real monsters, I must observe, that that judgment seems not to have ever been one of his they never molested those who were not of a humour natural faculties. This gentleman takes himself to to hunt for them in woods and deserts; whereas, be as much obiiged to be,merry, as the other to be grave. on the contrary, our modern monsters are so fami- A thorough Critic is a sort of Puritan in the polite liarly admitted and entertained in all the courts
world. As an enthusiast in religion stumbles at the and cities of Europe (except France), that one can ordinary occurrences in life, if he cannot quote scripture scarce be in the most humanized 'society without examples on the occasion; so the Critic is never safe risking one's life; the people of the best sort, and the in his speech or writing, without he has, among the fine gentlemen of the age, being so fond of them, that celebrated writers, an authority for the truth of his they seldom appear in any public place without one.
You will believe we had a very good time I have some further considerations upon this subject, with these brethren, who were so far out of the dress which, as you encourage me, shall be communicated of their native country, and so lost in its dialect, that to you by, Sir, a cousin but one remove from the best they were as much strangers to themselves, as to their family of the Staffs, namely, Sir, your humble servant, relation to each other. They took up the whole diskiosman, and friend,
course; sometimes the Critic grew passionate, and • Tim SWITCH
when reprimanded by the Wit for any trip or hesita
tion in his voice, he would answer “Mr. Dryden makes It is certain that Mr. Switch has hit upon the true such a character, on such an occasion, break off in the source of this evil ; and that it proceeds only from the same manner; so that the stop was according to force of custom, that we contradict ourselves in half nature, and as a man in a passion should do.' The the particulars and occurrences of life. But such a Wit, who is as far gone in letters as himself, seems to tyranny in love, which the fair impose upon us, is a be at a loss to answer such an apology; and concludes little too severe; that we must demonstrate our affection only, that though his anger is justly vented, it wants for them by no certain proof but hatred to one fire in the utterance. If wit is to be measured by the another, or come at them (only as one does at an circumstances of time and place, there is no man has estate) by survivorship. This way of application to generally so little of that talent as he who is a Wit by gain a lady's heart is taking her as we do towns and profession. What he says, instead of arising from castles, by distressing the place, and letting none the occasion, has an occasion invented to bring it in. come near them without our pass. Were such a lover Thus, he is new for no other reason, but that he once to write the truth of his heart, and let her know talks like nobody else; but has taken up method of his whole thoughts, he would appear indeed to have his own, without commerce of dialogue with other passion for her ; but it would hardly be called love. people. The lively Jasper Dactyle is one of this chaThe billet-doux would run to this purpose :
racter. He seems to have made a vow to be witty to