66 66 66 66 He therefore now fell-to, and his appetite seemed to correspond with his inclination. After dinner was over, he observed that the steak was tough; "and yet, Sir," returns he, "bad as it was, it "seemed a rump-steak to me. O the delights of poverty and a good appetite! We beggars are the very foundlings of nature: the rich she treats like an arrant step-mother; they are pleased with nothing; cut a steak from what part you will, and it "is insupportably tough; dress it up with pickles, "and even pickles cannot procure them an appetite. "But the whole creation is filled with good things "for the beggar; Calvert's butt out-tastes Champagne, and Sedgeley's home-brewed excels Tokay. Joy, joy, my blood, though our estates lie no where, we have fortunes wherever we go. If an inunda"tion sweeps away half the grounds of Cornwall, I 66 66 66 am content; I have no lands there: if the stocks "sink, that gives me no uneasiness; I am no Jew." The fellow's vivacity, joined to his poverty, I own, raised my curiosity to know something of his life and circumstances; and I intreated that he would indulge my desire. "That I will, Sir," said he, "and "welcome; only let us drink to prevent our sleep 66 ing; let us have another tankard while we are "awake; let us have another tankard; for, ah, how "charming a tankard looks when full! "You must know, then, that I am very well de"scended; my ancestors have made some noise in "the world; for my mother cried oysters, and my "father beat a drum: I am told we have even had 66 some trumpeters in our family. Many a noble"man cannot shew so respectful a genealogy: but "that is neither here nor there; as I was their only child, my father designed to breed me up to his own employment, which was that of a drummer "to a puppet-show. Thus the whole employment 66 66 "of my younger years was that of interpreter to Punch and King Solomon in all his glory. But "though my father was very fond of instructing me "in beating all the marches and points of war, I "made no very great progress, because I naturally had no ear for music; so at the age of fifteen I "went and listed for a soldier. As I had ever hated beating a drum, so I soon found that I disliked carrying a musket also; neither the one trade nor "the other were to my taste, for I was by nature "fond of being a gentleman: besides, I was obliged "to obey my captain; he has his will, I have mine, "and you have yours: now I very reasonably concluded, that it was much more comfortable for a "man to obey his own will than another's. 66 66 66 66 "The life of a soldier soon therefore gave me the "spleen; I asked leave to quit the service; but as "I was tall and strong, my captain thanked me for my kind intention, and said, because he had a regard for me, we should not part. I wrote to my "father a very dismal penitent letter, and desired that he would raise money to pay for my discharge; but the good man was as fond of drinking "as I was (Sir, my service to you), and those who are fond of drinking never pay for other people's discharges in short, he never answered my letter. "What could be done? If I have not money, said 66 66 I to myself, to pay for my discharge, I must find "an equivalent some other way; and that must be "by running away. I deserted, and that answered my purpose every bit as well as if I had bought "my discharge. 66 "Well, I was now fairly rid of my military employment; I sold my soldier's clothes, bought "worse, and, in order not to be overtaken, took the most unfrequented roads possible. One evening "as I was entering a village, I perceived a man, 66 66 " whom I afterwards found to be the curate of the "parish, thrown from his horse in a miry road, "and almost smothered in the mud. He desired "my assistance; I gave it, and drew him out with "some difficulty. He thanked me for my trouble, " and was going off; but I followed him home, for "I loved always to have a man thank me at his own "door. The curate asked an hundred questions; "and whose son I was; from whence I came; and "whether I would be faithful? I answered him greatly to his satisfaction; and gave myself one "of the best characters in the world for sobriety, (Sir, I have the honour of drinking your health,) discretion, and fidelity. To make a long story short, he wanted a servant, and hired me. With "him I lived but two months; we did not much "like each other; I was fond of eating, and he gave "me but little to eat; I loved a pretty girl, and the "old woman, my fellow-servant, was ill-natured and ugly. As they endeavoured to starve me between them, I made a pious resolution to prevent their committing murder: I stole the eggs as soon as they were laid; I emptied every unfinished bottle that I could lay my hands on; whatever eatable "came in my way was sure to disappear: in short, they found I would not do; so I was discharged "one morning, and paid three shillings and sixpence "for two months wages. 66 66 66 66 66 66 66 "While my money was getting ready, I employed myself in making preparations for my de"parture; two hens were hatching in an out-house, "I went and took the eggs from habit, and not to separate the parents from the children, I lodged "hens and all in my knapsack. After this piece of frugality, I returned to receive my money, and "with my knapsack on my back, and a staff in my hand, I bade adieu with tears in my eyes to my 66 66 "old benefactor. I had not gone far from the house "when I heard behind me the cry of Stop thief! "but this only increased my dispatch: it would "have been foolish to stop, as I knew the voice "could not be levelled at me. But hold, I think I passed those two months at the curate's without "drinking. Come, the times are dry, and may this "be my poison if ever I spent two more pious, stupid "months in all my life! 66 66 66 "Well, after travelling some days, whom should "I light upon, but a company of strolling players! The moment I saw them at a distance my heart "warmed to them; I had a sort of natural love for every thing of the vagabond order: they were employed in settling their baggage, which had "been overturned in a narrow way; I offered my "assistance, which they accepted; and we soon "became so well acquainted that they took me as a servant. This was a paradise to me; they sung, danced, drank, eat, and travelled, all at the same time. By the blood of the Mirabels! I thought "I had never lived till then; I grew as merry as a grig, and laughed at every word that was spoken. They liked me as much as I liked them; I was " a very good figure, as you see; and, though I was 66 poor, I was not modest. 66 66 66 66 66 66 66 66 "I love a straggling life above all things in the "world; sometimes good, sometimes bad; to be "warm to-day, and cold to-morrow; to eat when one can get it, and drink when (the tankard is out) it stands before me. We arrived that evening at Tenterden, and took a large room at the Greyhound; where we resolved to exhibit Romeo "and Juliet, with the funeral procession, the grave "and the garden scene. Romeo was to be per"formed by a gentleman from the Theatre-Royal "in Drury-lane; Juliet, by a lady who had never 66 "appeared on any stage before; and I was to snuff "the candles: all excellent in our way. We had "figures enough, but the difficulty was to dress "them. The same coat that served Romeo, turned "with the blue lining outwards, served for his friend "Mercutio a large piece of crape sufficed at once "for Juliet's petticoat and pall: a pestle and mortar, "from a neighbouring apothecary's, answered all the 66 purposes of a bell; and our landlord's own family, wrapped in white sheets, served to fill up the pro"cession. In short, there were but three figures among us that might be said to be dressed with any propriety: I mean the nurse, the starved apothecary, and myself. Our performance gave uni"versal satisfaction: the whole audience were en"chanted with our powers. 66 66 46 66 66 "There is one rule by which a strolling-player may be ever secure of success; that is, in our "theatrical way of expressing it, to make a great "deal of the character. To speak and act as in "common life, is not playing, nor is it what peo 66 ple come to see: natural speaking, like sweet wine, "runs glibly over the palate, and scarcely leaves any "taste behind it; but being high in a part resem"bles vinegar, which grates upon the taste, and 66 one feels it while he is drinking. To please in "town or country, the way is to cry, wring, cringe "into attitudes, mark the emphasis, slap the pockets, "and labour like one in the falling sickness: that is "the way to work for applause; that is the way to gain it. 66 "As we received much reputation for our skill on "this first exhibition, it was but natural for me to "ascribe part of the success to myself; I snuffed the "candles, and let me tell you, that without a can"dle-snuffer, the piece would lose half its embel"lishments. In this manner we continued a fort |