kings. Accordingly I marched up without farther ceremony, and was going to enter, when a person, who held the gate in his hand, told me I must pay first. I was surprised at such a demand; and asked the man, whether the people of England kept a shew? whether the paltry sum he demanded was not a national reproach? whether it was not more to the honour of the country to let their magnificence or their antiquities be openly seen, than thus meanly to tax a curiosity which tended to their own honour? As for your questions, replied the gate-keeper, to be sure they may be very right, because I don't understand them; but, as for that there three-pence, I farm it from one, who rents it from another, who hires it from a third, who leases it from the guardians of the temple, and we all must live. I expected, upon paying here, to see something extraordinary, since what I had seen for nothing filled me with so much surprize; but in this I was disappointed; there was little more within than black coffins, rusty armour, tattered standards, and some few slovenly figures in wax. I was sorry I had paid, but I comforted myself by considering it would be my last payment. A person attended us, who, without once blushing, told an hundred lies; he talked of a lady who died by pricking her finger; of a king with a golden head, and twenty such pieces of absurdity. Look ye there, gentlemen, says he, pointing to an old oak chair, there's a curiosity for ye; in that chair the kings of England were crowned: you see also a stone underneath, and that stone is Jacob's pillow. I could see no curiosity either in the oak chair, or the stone; could I, indeed, behold one of the old kings of England seated in this, or Jacob's head laid upon the other, there might be something curious in the sight; but in the present case there was no more reason for my surprize than if I should pick a stone from their streets, and call it a curiosity, merely be

cause

cause one of the kings happened to tread upon it as he passed in a procession.

From hence our conductor led us through several dark walks and winding ways, uttering lies, talking to himself, and flourishing a wand which he held in his hand. He reminded me of the black magicians of Kobi. After we had been almost fatigued with a variety of objects, he, at last, desired me to consider attentively a certain suit of armour, which seemed to show nothing remarkable. This armour, said he, belonged to general Monk. Very surprizing, that a general should wear armour! And pray, added he, observe this cap, this is general Monk's cap. Very strange indeed, very strange, that a gene· ral should have a cap also! Pray friend, what might this cap have cost originally? That, Sir, says he, I don't know; but this cap is all the wages I have for my trouble. A very small recompence truly, said I, Not so very small replied he, for every gentleman puts some money into it, and I spend the money. What, more money! stillmore money! Every genteman gives something, Sir. I'll give thee nothing returned I: the guardians of the temple should pay you your wages, friend, and not permit you to squeeze thus from every spectator. When we pay our money at the door to see a shew, we never give more as we are going out. Sure, the guardians of the temple can never think they get enough. Shew me the gate; if I stay longer, I may probably meet with more of those ecclesiastical beggars.

Thus leaving the temple precipitately, I returned to my lodgings, in order to ruminate over what was great, and to despise what was mean, in the occurrences of the day.

LETTER

LETTER XIV.

FROM THE SAME.

I WAS some days ago agreeably surprised by a message from a lady of distinction, who sent me word, that she most passionately desired the pleasure

of

my acquaintance; and, with the utmost impatience, expected an interview. I will not deny, my dear Fum Hoam, but that my vanity was raised at such an invitation; I flattered myself that she had seen me in some public place, and had conceived an affection for my person, which thus induced her to deviate from the usual decorums of the sex. My imagination painted her in all the bloom of youth and beauty. I fancied her attended by the Loves and Graces; and I set out with the most pleasing expectations of seeing the conquest I had made.

When I was introduced into her apartment, my expectations were quickly at an end; I perceived a little shrivelled figure indolently reclined on a sofa, whonodded by way of approbation at my approach. This, as I was afterwards informed, was the lady herself, a woman equally distinguished for rank politeness, taste, and understanding. As I was dressed after the fashion of Europe, she had taken me for an Englishman, and consequently saluted me in her ordinary manner: but when the footman informed her grace that I was the gentleman from China, she instantly lifted herself from the couch, while her eyes sparkled with unusual vivacity. "Bless me! can this be the gentleman that was "born so far from home? What an unusual share "of somethingness in his whole appearance! Lord! "how I am charmed with the outlandish cut of his face! how bewitching the exotic breadth of his "forehead!

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"forehead! I would give the world to see him in "his own country dress. Pray turn about, Sir, and "let me see you behind. There! there's a travell'd "air for you. You that attend there, bring up "a plate of beef cut into small pieces; I have a vio"lent passion to see him eat. Pray, Sir, have you got your chop sticks about you? It will be so pretty "to see the meat carried to the mouth with a jerk. Pray speak a little Chinese: I have learned some "of the language myself. Lord, have you nothing pretty from China about you; something that one does not know what to do with? I have got twenty things from China that are of no use in the "world. Look at those jars, they are of the right 66 pea-green: these are the furniture." Dear madam, said I, these, though they may appear fine in your eyes, are but paltry to a Chinese; but, as they are useful utensils, it is proper they should have a place in every apartment. Useful! Sir, replied the lady; sure you mistake, they are of no use in the world.

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What!

are they not filled with an infusion of tea as in China? replied I. Quite empty, and useless upon my honour, Sir. Then they are the most cumbrous and clumsy furniture in the world, as nothing is truly elegant but what unites use with beauty. I protest, says the lady, I shall begin to suspect thee of being an actual barbarian. I suppose you hold my two beautiful pagods. in contempt. What! cried I, has Fohi spread his gross superstitions here also? Pagods of all kinds are my aversion. A Chinese, a traveller, and want taste! it surprizes me. Pray, Sir, examine the beauties of that Chinese temple which you see at the end of the garden. Is there any thing in China more beautiful? Where I stand, I see nothing, madam,at the end of the garden, that may not as well be called an Egyption pyramid as a Chinese temple; for that little building in view is as like the one as t'other. What! Sir, is not that a Chinese temple! you must surely be mistaken.

taken. Mr. Freeze, who designed it, calls it one, and nobody disputes his pretensions to taste. I now found it vain to contradict the lady in any thing she thought fit to advance; so was resolved rather to act the disciple than the instructor. She took me through several rooms all furnished, as she told me, in the Chinese manner; sprawling dragons, squatting pagods, and clumsy mandarines, were stuck upon every shelf: in turning round, one must have used caution not to demolish a part of the precarious furniture.

In a house like this, thought I, one must live continually upon the watch; the inhabitant must resemble a knight in an enchanted castle, who expects to meet an adventure at every turning. But, madam, said I, do not accidents ever happen to all this finery ? Man, Sir, replied the lady, is born to misfortunes, and it is but fit I should have a share. Three weeks ago, a careless servant snapped off the head of a favourite mandarine: I had scarce done grieving for that, when a monkey broke a beautiful jar; this I took the more to heart, as the injury was done me by a friend however, I survived the calamity; when yesterday crash went half a dozen dragons upon the marble hearth stone; and yet yet I live; survive it all: you can't conceive what comfort I find under afflictions from philosophy. There is Seneca, and Bolingbroke, and some others, who guide me through life, and teach me to support its calamities. I could not but smile at a woman who makes her own misfortunes, and then deplores the miseries of her situation. Wherefore, tired of acting with dissimulation, and willing to indulge my meditations in solitude, I took leave just as the servant was bringing in a plate of beef, pursuant to the directions of his mistress. Adieu.

I

LETTER