be fold for 10%. to carry to stane weight, if 14 hands high; if above or under, to carry or be allowed weight for inches, and to be entered on Friday the 5th at the Swan in Coleshill, before fix in the evening. Also a plate of less value to be run for by affes. The fame day a gold ring to be grinned for by men. THE first of these diversions that is to be exhibited by the 10 1. race horfes, may probably have its ufe; but the two laft, in which the affes and men are concerned, fcem to me altogether extraordinary and unnaccountable. Why they should keep running-affes at Golemill, or how making, mouths turns to account in Warwickshire, more than in any other parts of England, I cannot comprehend. I have looked over all the Olympic games, and do not find any thing in them like an afs race, or a match at grinning. However it be, I am informed that feveral affes are now kept in body clothes, and sweated every morning upon the heath, and that all the country fellows within ten miles of the Swan, grinn an hour or two in their glasses every morning, in order to qualify themselves for the 9th of October. The prize, which is proposed to be grinned for, has raised such an ambition among the common-people of out grinning one another, that many very defcerning perfons are afraid it should fpoil most of the faces in the county; and that a Warwickshire man will be known by his grinn, as Roman catholics imagine a Kentish man is by his tail. The gold-ring, which is made the prize of deformity, is just the reverse of the golden apple that was formerly made the prize of beauty, and should carry for its pofy the old motto inverted: Detur tetriori. Or to accomodate it to the capacity of the combatants, In the mean while I would advise a Dutch painter to be present at this great controversy of faces, in order to make a collection of the moit remarkable grinns that shall be there exhibited. I MUST not here omit an account which I lately received of one of these grinning-matches from a gentleman, who, who, upon reading the above-mentioned advertisement entertained a coffee-house with the following, narrative. Upon the taking of Namure, amongst other public rejoicings made on that occafion, there was a gold ring given by a whig juftice of the peace to be grinned for. The firft competitor that entered the lifts, was a black fwarthy Frenchman, who accidently paffed that way, and being a man naturally of a withered look, and hard features, promifed himfelf good fuccefs. He was placed upon a table in the great point of view, and looking upon the.. company like Milton's death, Grinn'd horribly a ghafily smile. His muscles were fo drawn together on each fide of his face, that he shewed twenty teeth at a grinn, and put the country in fome pain, left a foreigner should carry away the honour of the day; but upon a further trial the found he was master only of the merry grinn. THE next that mounted the table was a malecontent in those days, and a great mafter in the whole art of grinning, but particularly excelled in the angry grinn. He did his part fo well, that he is faid to have made half a dozen women mifcarry, but the justice being apprized by one who ftood near him, that the fellow who grinned in his face was a Jacobite, and being unwilling that a difaffected person should win the gold ring, and be looked upon as the best grinner in the country, he ordered the oaths to be tendered unto him upon his quitting the table, which the grinner refufing, he was set aside as an unqualified perfon. There were several other grotefque figures that prefented themfelves, which it would be too tedious to describe. I must not however omit a ploughman, who lived in the farther part of the country, and being very lucky in a pair of long lanthorn-jaws, wrung his face into fuch an hideous grimace, that every feature in it appeared under a different distortion. The whole company stood astonished at fuch a complicated grinn, and were ready to affign the prize to him, had it not been proved, by one of his antagonists, that he had practifed with verjuice for some days before, and had a crab found upon him at the very time of grinning; upon which the best judges of grinning declared it as their opinion, that he was not to be be looked upon as a fair grinner, and therefore ordered him to be set aside as a cheat. THE prize, it feems, fell at lengthupon a cobler, Giles Gorgon by name, who produced feveral new grinns of his own invention, having been used to cut faces for many years together over his last. At the very firft grinn he caft every human feature out of his countenance, at the second he became the face of a spout, at the third a baboon, at the fourth the head of a bass-viol, and at the fifth a pair of nut-crackers. The whole assembly wondered at his accomplishments, and bestowed the ring on him unanimoufly: but, what he efteemed more than all the reft, a country wench, whom he had wooed in vain for above five years before, was fo charmed with s grinns, and the applaufes which he received on all fide, that the married him the week following, and to this dy wears the prize upon her finger, the cooler having made use of it as his wedding-ring. THIS paper might perhaps seen very impertinent, if it grew ferious in the conclufion. I would nevertheless leave it to the confideration of those who are the patrons of this monftrous trial of skill, whether or no they are not guilty, in some meafure, of an affront to their species, in treat, ing after this manner the human face divine, and turning that part of us, which has fo great an image impressed upon it, into the image of a monkey; whether the raising fuch filly competitions among the ignorant, propofing prizes. for fuch uselefs accomplishments, filling the common peoples heads with fuch senseless ambitions, and infpiring them. with fuch abfurd ideas of fuperiority and pre-eminence, has not in it fomething immoral as well as ridiculous. L No. 194, No 174, Wednesday, September 10. Hec memini et viltum frustra contendere Thyrfin. VIRG.ecl. 7. v. 69. These ryhmes I did to memory commend, T DRYDEN. HERE is scarce any thing more common than ani mofities between parties that camot fubfift but by their agreement: this was well represented in the fedition of the members of the human body in the old Ro.. man fable. It is often the cafe of leffer confederate states against a fuperior power, which are hardly held together, though their unanimity is neceffary for their common fafety; and this is always the cafe of the landed and trading interest of Great Britain; the trader is fed by the product of the land, and the landed man cannot be clothed but by the skill of the trader; and yet those interests are ever jarring. We had last winter an instance of this at our club, in Sir ROGER DE COVERLEY and Sir ANDREW FREEPORT, between whom there is generally a constant, tho' friendly oppofition of opinions. It happened that one of the company, in an historical difcourse, was observing, that Gar-thaginian faith was a proverbial phrafe to intimate breach. of leagues. Sir ROGER faid it could hardly be otherways: that the Carthaginians were the greatest traders in the world; and as gain is the chief end of such a people, they never purfue any other: the means to it are never regarded; they will, if it comes easily, get money honeftly;: but if not, they will not scruple to attain it by fraud or cozenage: and indeed, what is the whole business of the traders acompt, but to over-reach him who trusts to his memory? But were that not fo, what can there great and noble be expected from him whose attention is for ever fixed upon balancing his books, and watching over his expences? And at best, let frugality and parfimony be the virtues of the merchant, how much is his punctual dealing ing below a gentleman's charity to the poor, or hofpita. lity among his neighbours? CAPTAIN SENTRY observed Sir ANDREW very diligently in hearing Sir ROGER, and had a mind to turn the difcourse, by taking notice in general, from the higheft to the lowest parts of human fociety, there was a secret, tho' unjuft way among men, of indulging the feeds of ill nature and envy, by comparing their own ftate of life to that of another, and grudging the approach of their neighbour to their own happiness; and on the other fide, he, who is the lefs at his ease, repines at the other, who, he thinks, has unjuftly the advantage over him. Thus the civil and miJitary lifts look upon each other with much ill-nature; the foldier repines at the courtier's power, and the courtier rallies the foldier's honour; or to come to lower instances, the private men in the horse and foot of an army, the carmen and coach-men in the city-streets, mutually look upon each other with ill-will, when they are in competition for quarters or the way, in their respective motions. It is very well, good Captain, interupted Sir ANDREW, you may attempt to turn the discourse if you think fit; but I must however have a word or two with Sir ROGER, who, I see, thinks he has paid me off, and been very fevere upon the merchant. I shall not, continued he, at this time, remind Sir ROGER of the great and noble monuments of charity and public spirit, which have been erected by merchants fince the reformation, but at present content myself with what he allows us, parfimony and frugality. If it were confiftent with the quality of so ancient a baronet as Sir ROGER, to keep an accompt, or measure things by the most infallible way, that of numbers, he would prefer our parfimony to his hospitality. If to drink so many hogfheads is to be hofpitable, we do not contend for the fame of that virtue; but it would be worth while to confider, whether fo many artificers at work ten days together by my appointment, or fo many peafants made merry on Sir ROGER'S charge, are the men more obliged? I believe the families of the artificers will thank me, more than the houfehold of the peafants thall Sir ROGER. Sir ROGER gives to his men, but I place mine above the neceffity or obligation of my bounty. I am in very little pains for the Roman |