be fold for 10l. to carry 10 ftane weight, if 14 hands high; if above or under, to carry or be allowed weight for inches, and to be entered on Friday the 5th at the Swan in Coleshill, before fix in the evening. Alfo a plate of lefs value to be run for by affes. The fame day a gold ring to be grinned for by men.

THE first of thefe diverfions that is to be exhibited by the 10. race horfes, may probably have its ufe; but the two laft, in which the affes and men are concerned, feem to me altogether extraordinary and unnaccountable. Why they should keep running-affes at Cole ill, or how making mouths turns to account in Warwickshire, more than in any other parts of England, I cannot comprehend. I have looked over all the Olympic games, and do not find any thing in them like an afs race, or a match at grinning. However it be, I am informed that feveral affes are now kept in body clothes, and fweated every morning upon the heath, and that all the country fellows within ten miles of. the Swan, grinn an hour or two in their glaffes every morning, in order to qualify themfelves for the 9th of October. The prize, which is propofed to be grinned for, has raifed fuch an ambition among the common-people of out grinning one another, that many very def erning perfons are afraid it should spoil ntoft of the faces in the coun-ty; and that a Warwickshire man will be known by his grinn, as Roman catholics imagine a Kentish man is by his tail. The gold-ring, which is made the prize of deformity, is just the reverfe of the golden apple that was! formerly made the prize of beauty, and fhould carry for its pofy the old motto inverted

Detur tetriori.

Or to accomodate it to the capacity of the combatants, The frighful grinner

Be the winner.

In the mean while I would advife a Dutch painter to be prefent at this great controverfy of faces, in order to make a collection of the most remarkable grinns that shall be there exhibited.

I MUST not here omit an account which I lately receiv ed of one of thefe grinning-matches from a gentleman,


who, upon reading the above-mentioned advertisements entertained a coffee-house with the following narrative. Upon the taking of Namure, amongst other public rejoicings made on that occafion, there was a gold ring given by a whig juftice of the peace to be grinned for. The firft competitor that entered the lifts, was a black fwarthy Frenchman, who accidently paffed that way, and being a man naturally of a withered look, and hard features, promifed himself good fuccefs. He was placed upon a table in the great point of view, and looking upon the company like Milton's death,

Grinn'd horribly a ghaftly file.

His muscles were fo drawn together on each fide of his face, that he fhewed twenty teeth at a grinn, and put the country in fome pain, left a foreigner fhould carry away the honour of the day; but upon further trial the found

he was mafter only of the merry grinn.

THE next that mounted the table was a malecontent in thofe days, and a great master in the whole art of grinning, but particularly excelled in the angry grinn. He did his part fo well, that he is faid to have made half a dozen. women mifcarry; but the juftice being apprized by one who stood near him, that the fellow who grinned in his face was a Jacobite, and being unwilling that a difaffected perfon fhould win the gold ring, and be looked upon as the beft grinner in the country, he ordered the oaths to be tendered unto him upon his quitting the table, which the grinner refufing, he was fet afide as an unqualified perfon. There were feveral other grotefque figures that prefented themfelves, which it would be too tedious to defcribe. I must not however omit a ploughman, who lived in the farther part of the country, and being very lucky in a pair of long lanthorn-jaws, wrung his face into fuch an hideous grimace, that every feature in it appeared under a different diftortion. The whole company stood aftonished at fuch a complicated grinn, and were ready to affign the prize to him, had it not been proved, by one of his antagonists, that he had practifed with verjuice for fome days before, and had a crab found upon him at the very time of grinning; upon which the beft judges of grinning declared it as their opinion, that he was not to


be looked upon as a fair grinner, and therefore orderedhim to be fet afide as a cheat,

THE prize, it feems, fell at length upon a cobler, Giles Gorgon by name, who produced feveral new grinns of his own invention, having been ufed to cut faces for many years together over his laft. At the very first grinn he caft every human feature out of his countenance, at the fecond he became the face of a spout, at the third a baboon, at the fourth the head of a bass-viol, and at the fifth a pair of nut-crackers. The whole affembly wondered at his accomplishments, and bestowed the ring on him unanimoufly but, what he cfteemed more than all the reft, a country wench, whom he had wooed in vain for above five years before, was fo charmed with his grinns, and the applaufes which he received on all fides, that the married him the week following, and to this day wears the prize upon her finger, the cobler having made ufe of it as his wedding ring.

THIS paper might perhaps feein very impertinent, if it grew ferious in the conclufion. I would nevertheless leave it to the confideration of those who are the patrons of this monstrous trial of skill, whether or no they are not guilty, in fome measure, of an affront to their fpecies, in treat, ing after this manner the human face divine, and turning that part of us, which has fo great an image impreffed upon it, into the image of a monkey; whether the railing fuch filly competitions among the ignorant, propofing prizes. for fuch ufelefs accomplishments, filling the common peoples heads with fuch fenfelefs ambitions, and infpiring them. with fuch abfurd ideas of fuperiority and pre-eminence,. has not in it fomething immoral as well as ridiculous.

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No 174

Wednesday, September 10.

Hæc memini et victum fruftra contendere Thyrfin.

VIRG. ecl. 7. v..


Thefe ryhmes I did to memory commend,
When vanquish'd Thyrlis did in vain contend.



HERE is scarce any thing more common than ani mofities between parties that caunot fubfift but by their agreement: this was well reprefented in the fedition of the members of the human body in the old Roman fable. It is often the cafe of leffer confederate ftates. against a fuperior power, which are hardly held together, though their unanimity is neceffary for their common fafety; and this is always the cafe of the landed and trading intereft of Great Britain; the trader is fed by the. product of the land, and the landed man cannot be clothed but by the skill of the trader; and yet those interests are ever jarring.

WE had laft winter an instance of this at our club, in Sir ROGER DE COVERLEY and Sir ANDREW FREEPORT, between whom there is generally a conftant, tho' friendly oppofition of opinions. It happened that one of the company, in an hiftorical difcourfe, was obferving, that Gar thaginian faith was a proverbial phrafe to intimate breach of leagues. Sir ROGER faid it could hardly be otherways: that the Carthaginians were the greatest traders in the world; and as gain is the chief end of fuch a people, they never purfue any other: the means to it are never regarded; they will, if it comes eafily, get money honeftly; : but if not, they will not fcruple to attain it by fraud or cozenage and indeed, what is the whole bulinefs of the traders acompt, but to over-reach him who trufts to his memory? But were that not fo, what can there great and noble be expected from him whofe attention is for ever fixed upon balancing his books, and watching over liis expences? And at beft, let frugality and parfimony be the virtues of the merchant, how much is his punctual deal

ing below a gentleman's charity to the poor, or hofpita lity among his neighbours?

CAPTAIN SENTRY obferved Sir ANDREW very diligently in hearing Sir ROGER, and had a mind to turn the difcourse, by taking notice in general, from the highest to the lowest parts of human fociety, there was a fecret, tho' unjuft way among men, of indulging the feeds of ill nature and envy, by comparing their own ftate of life to that of another, and grudging the approach of their neighbour to their own happiness; and on the other fide, he, who is the dels at his cafe, repines at the other, who, he thinks, has unjustly the advantage over him. Thus the civil and military lifts look upon each other with much ill-nature; the follier repines at the courtier's power, and the courtier ral. lies the foldier's honour; or to come to lower instances, the private men in the horfe and foot of an army, the carmen and coach-men in the city-ftreets, mutually look upon each other with ill-will, when they are in competition for quarters or the way, in their respective motions.

Ir is very well, good Captain, interupted Sir ANDREW, you may attempt to turn the difcourfe if you think fit; but I muft however have a word or two with Sir ROGER, who, I fee, thinks he has paid me off, and been very fevere upon the merchant. I fhall not, continued he, at this time, remind Sir ROGER of the great and noble monuments of charity and public fpirit, which have been erected by merchants fince the reformation, but at prefent content myself with what he allows us, parfimony and frugality. If it were confiftent with the quality of fo ancient a baronet as Sir ROGER, to keep an accompt, or measure things by the moft infallible way, that of numbers, he would prefer our parfimony to his hofpitality. If to drink fo many hogfheads is to be hofpitable, we do not contend for the fame of that virtue; but it would be worth while to confider, whether fo many artificers at work ten days together by my appointinent, or fo many peafants made merry on Sir ROGER'S charge, are the men more obliged? I believe the families of the artificers will thank me, more than the houfehold of the pealants thall Sir ROGER. Sir ROGER gives to his men, but I place mine above the neceffity or obligation of my bounty. I am in very little pains for the


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