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hen the good man skulked towards inted for the Lacedemonians, that more virtuous than polite, rose up id with the greatest respect received m. The Athenians being suddenly ense of the Spartan virtue, and their , gave a thunder of applause; and ried out, "The Athenians undergood, but the Lacedemonians pracR.
RSDAY, MARCH 8, 1710-11.
es magicos, miracula, sagas,
magic spells, can you despise,
ay to dine with an old acquaintance, ortune to find his whole family very Upon asking him the occasion of that bis wife had dreamt a strange ht before, which they were afraid e misfortune to themselves or to their her coming into the room, I observed choly in her countenance, which I een troubled for, had I not heard it proceeded. We were no sooner t after having looked upon me a My dear,' says she, turning to her may now see the stranger that was ast night. Soon after this, as they of family affairs, a little boy at the he table told her, that he was to go on Thursday. Thursday!' says she, it please God, you shall not begin nas-day; tell your writing-master ill be soon enough.' I was reflectf on the oddness of her fancy, and at any body would establish it as a day in every week. In the midst of ngs, she desired me to reach her a the point of my knife, which I did idation and hurry of obedience, that by the way; at which she immediand said it fell towards her. Upon very blank; and, observing the conhole table, began to consider myself, fusion, as a person that had brought on the family. The lady, however, rself after a little space, said to her a sigh, My dear, misfortunes never My friend, I found, acted but an his table, and being a man of more than understanding, thinks himself in with all the passions and humours llow. Do not you remember, child,' t the pigeon-house fell the very aftercareless wench spilt the salt upon the says he, my dear, and the next us an account of the battle of Alreader may guess at the figure I aving done all this mischief. I disdinner as soon as I could with my ity; when, to my utter confusion, the e quitting my knife and fork, and across one another upon my plate, det I would humour her so far as to t of that figure, and place them side hat the absurdity was which I had did not know, but I suppose there
was some traditionary superstition in it; and therefore, in obedience to the lady of the house, I disposed of my knife and fork in two parallel lines, which is the figure I shall always lay them in for the future, though I do not know any reason for it.
It is not difficult for a man to see that a person has conceived an aversion to him. For my own part, I quickly found, by the lady's looks, that she regarded me as a very odd kind of fellow, with an unfortunate aspect. For which reason I took my leave immediately after dinner, and withdrew to my own lodgings. Upon my return home I fell into a profound contemplation on the evils that attend these superstitious follies of mankind; how they subject us to imaginary afflictions, and additional sorrows, that do not properly come within our lot. As if the natural calamities of life were not sufficient for it, we turn the most indifferent circumstances into misfortunes, and suffer as much from trifling accidents as from real evils. I have known the shooting of a star spoil a night's rest; and have seen a man in love grow pale, and lose his appetite, upon the plucking of a merrythought. A screech-owl at midnight has alarmed a family more than a band of robbers; nay, the voice of a cricket hath struck more terror than the roaring of a lion. There is nothing so inconsiderable, which may not appear dreadful to an imagination that is filled with omens and prognostics. A rusty nail, or a crooked pin, shoot up into prodigies.
I remember I was once in a mixt assembly, that was full of noise and mirth, when on a sudden an old woman unluckily observed there were thirteen of us in company. The remark struck a panic terror into several who were present, insomuch that one or two of the ladies were going to leave the room; but a friend of mine, taking notice that one of our female companions was big with child, affirmed there were fourteen in the room, and that, instead of portending one of the company should die, it plainly foretold one of them should be born. Had not my friend found this expedient to break the omen, I question not þut half the women in the company would have fallen sick that very night.
An old maid that is troubled with the vapours, produces infinite disturbances of this kind among her friends and neighbours. I know a maiden aunt of a great family, who is one of these antiquated Sybils, that forebodes and prophesies from one end of the year to the other. She is always seeing apparitions, and hearing death-watches; and was the other day almost frighted out of her wits by the great house-dog that howled in the stable, at a time when she lay ill of the tooth-ach. Such an extravagant cast of mind engages multitudes of people, not only in impertinent terrors, but in supernumerary duties of life; and arises from that fear and ignorance which are natural to the soul of man. The horror with which we entertain the thoughts of death (or indeed of any future evil), and the uncertainty of its approach, fill a melancholy mind with innumerable apprehensions and suspicions, and consequently dispose it to the observation of such groundless prodigies and predictions. For as it is the chief concern of wise men to retrench the evils of life by the reasonings of philosophy; it is the employment of fools to multiply them by the sentiments of superstition.
For my own part, I should be very much troubled were I endowed with this divining quality, though it should inform me truly of every thing that can befal me. I would not anticipate the
relish of any happiness, nor feel the weight of any misery, before it actually arrives.
I know but one way of fortifying my soul against these gloomy presages and terrors of mind, and that is, by securing to myself the friendship and protection of that Being who disposes of events, and governs futurity. He sees, at one view, the whole thread of any existence, not only that, part of it which I have already passed through, but that which runs forward into all the depths of eternity. When I lay me down to sleep, 1 recommend myself to his care: when I wake, I give myself up to his directions. Amidst all the evils that threaten me, I will look up to him for help, | and question not but he will either avert them, or turn them to my advantage. Though I know neither the time nor the manner of the death I am to die, I am not at all solicitous about it; because I ¦ am sure that he knows them both, and that he will not fail to comfort and support me under them.' G.
'TO THE SPECTATOR, &c.
servation, especially since the persons it is cor posed of are criminals too considerable for ti animadversions of our society. I mean, sir, ti Midnight Mask, which has of late been frequent held in one of the most conspicuous parts of th town, and which I hear will be continued with a ditions and improvements*. As all the perso who compose this lawless assembly are maske we dare not attack any of them in our way, le we should send a woman of quality to Bridewel or a peer of Great Britain to the Counter; b sides that their numbers are so very great, that am afraid they would be able to rout our who fraternity, though we were accompanied with a our guard of constables. Both these reason which secure them from our authority, make the obnoxious to yours; as both their disguise and the numbers will give no particular person reason think himself affronted by you.
If we are rightly informed, the rules that a observed by this new society are wonderfully co trived for the advancement of cuckoldom. The w men either come by themselves, or are introduced b friends who are obliged to quit them, upon their fir entrance, to the conversation of any body that ac dresses himself to them. There are several room where the parties may retire, and, if they pleas show their faces by consent. Whispers, squeeze nods, and embraces, are the innocent freedoms the place. In short, the whole design of this lib dinous assembly seems to terminate in assignation and intrigues; and I hope you will take effectua methods, by your public advice and admonitions, t prevent such a promiscuous multitude of both sexe from meeting together in so clandestine a mauner 1 am Your humble servant, ⚫ and fellow-labourer,
Not long after the perusal of this letter I re the date and style of it, I take to be written by ceived another upon the same subject; which, by some young Templar:
Middle Temple, 1710-11.
I AM one of the directors of the society for the reformation of manners, and therefore think myself a proper person for your correspondence. I have thoroughly examined the present state of religion in Great Britain, and am able to acquaint you with the predominant vice of every market-WHEN a man has been guilty of any vice or town in the whole island. I can tell you the pro- folly, I think the best atonement he can make for gress that virtue has made in all our cities, bo- it, is to warn others not to fall into the like. In roughs, and corporations; and know as well the order to this I must acquaint you, that some time evil practices that are committed, in Berwick or in February last I went to the Tuesday's masqueExeter, as what is done in my own family. In a rade. Upon my first going in I was attacked by word, sir, I have my correspondents in the remotest half a dozen female quakers, who seemed willing parts of the nation, who send me up punctual ac- to adopt me for a brother; but, upon a neares counts from time to time of all the little irregu- examination, I found they were a sisterhood of larities that fall under their notice in their several coquettes, disguised in that precise habit. I was districts and divisions. soon after taken out to dance, and, as I fancied by a woman of the first quality, for she was very tall, and moved gracefully. As soon as the minuet was over, we ogled one another through our masks; and as I am very well read in Waller, 1 repeated to her the four following verses out of his poem to Vandyke:
I am no less acquainted with the particular quarters and regions of this great town, than with the different parts and distributions of the whole nation. I can describe every parish by its inpieties, and can tell you in which of our streets lewdness prevails; which gaming has taken the possession of, and where drunkenness has got the better of them both. When I am disposed to raise a fine for the poor, I know the lanes and alleys that are inhabited by common swearers, When I would encourage the hospital of Bridewell, and improve the hempen manufacture, I am very well acquainted with all the haunts and resorts of female night-walkers.
• After this short account of myself, I must let you know, that the design of this paper is to give you information of a certain irregular assembly, which I think falls very properly under your ob
"The heedless lover does not know
Inquires her name that has his heart."
I pronounced these words with such a languishing air, that I had some reason to conclude I had made a conquest. She told me that she hoped my face was not akin to my tongue, and looking upon her watch, I accidentally discovered the figure of a coronet on the back part of it. I was so trans
* See Nos. 14 and 101.
thought of such an amour, that I ne room to another with all the d invent; and at length brought y an issue, that she gave me a he next day, without page or foot- Every one has heard of the club, or rather the quipage. My heart danced in confederacy, of the Kings. This grand alliance ad not lived in this golden dream was formed a little after the return of King before I found good reason to Charles the Second, and admitted into it men of ontinued true to my laundress. I all qualities and professions, provided they agreed by a very great accident, that in the surname of King, which, as they imagined, es not live far from Covent Gar-sufficiently declared the owners of it to be altogem not the first cully whom she ther untainted with republican and anti-monarchifupon for a countess. cal principles.
town should be annually chosen out of the two clubs; by which means the principal magistrates are at this day coupled like rabbits, one fat and one lean.
see how I have mistaken a cloud if you can make any use of this e benefit of those who may posyoung coxcombs as myself, I do you leave.
"I am, SIR,
Your most humble admirer,
• B. L.'
d my judgment of this midnight
A christian name has likewise been often used as a badge of distinction, and made the occasion of a club. That of the George's, which used to meet at the sign of the George, on St. George's day, and swear Before George,' is still fresh in every one's memory.
There are at present in several parts of this city what they call Street-clubs, in which the chief inhabitants of the street converse together every t the next masquerade myself, in night. I remember, upon my inquiring after lodgwore at Grand Cairo *; and tillings in Ormond-street, the landlord, to recommend that quarter of the town, told me there was at that time a very good club in it; he also told me, upon further discourse with him, that two or three noisy country squires, who were settled there the year before, had considerably sunk the price of house-rent; and that the club (to prevent the like inconveniences for the future) had thoughts of taking every house that became vacant into their own hands, till they had found a tenant for it, of a sociable nature and good conversation.
RDAY, MARCH 10, 1710-11.
trabida cum tigride pacem vis inter se convenit ursis.
JUV. Sat. xv. 163.
er, bear with bear, you'll find nsive and defensive join'd.
e a sociable animal, and as an inmay observe, that we take all ocences of forming ourselves into rnal assemblies, which are comthe name of clubs. When a set mselves agree in any particular, trivial, they establish themselves aternity, and meet once or twice he account of such a fantastic renow a considerable market-town, as a club of fat men, that did not s you may well suppose) to enterwith sprightliness and wit, but to in countenance. The room where something of the largest, and had he one by a door of a moderate er by a pair of folding-doors. If his corpulent club could make his the first, he was looked upon as if he stuck in the passage, and his way through it, the foldingediately thrown open for his rewas saluted as a brother. I have Hub, though it consisted but of fifighed above three ton.
to this society, there sprung up anoof scarecrows and skeletons, who, re and envious, did all they could designs of their bulky brethren, resented as men of dangerous prinngth they worked them out of the ople, and consequently out of the ese factions tore the corporation eral years, till at length they came dation; that the two bailiffs of the
• See N° 2
The Hum Drum club, of which I was formerly an unworthy member, was made up of very honest gentlemen of peaceable dispositions, that used to sit together, smoke their pipes, and say nothing till midnight. The Mum club (as I am informed) is an institution of the same nature, and as great an enemy to noise.
After these two innocent societies, I cannot forbear mentioning a very mischievous one, that was erected in the reign of King Charles the Second; I mean the club of Duellists, in which none was to be admitted that had not fought his man. The president of it was said to have killed half a dozen in single combat; and as for the other members, they took their seats according to the number of their slain. There was likewise a side table, for such as had only drawn blood, and shown a laudable ambition of taking the first opportunity to qualify themselves for the first table. This club, consisting only of men of honour, did not continue long, most of the members of it being put to the sword, or hanged, a little after its institution.
Our modern celebrated clubs are founded upon eating and drinking, which are points wherein most men agree, and in which the learned and illiterate, the dull and the airy, the philosopher and the buffoon, can all of them bear a part. The Kit-Cat itself is said to have taken its original
This club, consisting of the most distinguished wits and statesmen among the Whigs, met in Shire-lane, and was named from a pastry-cook (Christopher Cat), who was famous for making mutton-pies, which constantly formed a part of their refreshment. The portraits of its members, done by Sir Godfrey Kneller, were all at Barnes, in the possession of the late Mr. Jacob Tonson, whose father was secretary to the club. From Mr. Tonson's, they have since become, by inheritance, the property of William Baker, Esq. In order so adapt them to the height of the clubroom, the pictures were painted of a size less than a whole, and larger than a half length, admitting only one arm; and hence all pictures of that size have since been called KitCats.
from a mutton-pie. The Beef-Steak *, and October + clubs, are neither of them averse to eating and drinking, if we may form a judgment of them from their respective titles.
When men are thus knit together, by a love of society, not a spirit of faction, and do not meet to censure or annoy those that are absent, but to enjoy one another; when they are thus combined for their own improvement, or for the good of others, or at least to relax themselves from the business of the day, by an innocent and cheerful conversation, there may be something very useful in these little institutions and establishments.
I cannot forbear concluding this paper with a scheme of laws that I met with upon a wall in a little alehouse. How I came thither I may inform my reader at a more convenient time. These laws were enacted by a knot of artisans and mechanics, who used to meet every night; and as there is something in them which gives us a pretty picture of low life, I shall transcribe them word for word:
Rules to be observed in the Two-penny club, erected in this place for the preservation of friendship and good neighbourhood.
I. Every member at his first coming in shall lay down his two-pence.
II. Every member shall fill his pipe out of his
III. If any member absents himself, he shall forfeit a penny for the use of the club, unless in case of sickness or imprisonment.
IV. If any member swears or curses, his neighbour may give him a kick upon the shins.
V. If any member tell stories in the club that are not true, he shall forfeit for every third lie an halfpenny.
VI. If any member strikes another wrongfully, he shall pay his club for him.
VII. If any member brings his wife into the club, he shall pay for whatever she drinks or
VIII. If any member's wife comes to fetch him home from the club, she shall speak to him without
* See Dr. King's Works, vol. iii. p. 290, 8vo. edit. 1776. This club also consisted of the chief wits and greatest men in the kingdom. It is said, that Mrs. Woffington, the only woman in it, was president. Richard Estcourt, the comedian, was their providore; and, as an honourable badge of his office, wore a small gridiron of gold bung round his neck with a green silk riband.
+ Swift, in a letter to Stella, (London, Feb. 10, 1710-11) says, "We are plagued here with an October club; that is, a set of above a hundred parliament men of the country, who drink October beer at home, and meet every evening at a tavern near the parliament to consult affairs, and drive things on to extremes against the Whigs, to call the old mimistry to account, and get off five or six beads." * See Whalley's edit. vol. vii.
N° 10. MONDAY, MARCH 12, 1710-11.
Non aliter quam qui adverso vix flumine lembum
So the boat's brawny crew the current stem,
IT is with much satisfaction that I hear this grea city inquiring day by day after these my papers and receiving my morning lectures with a becom ing seriousness and attention. My publisher tell me, that there are already three thousand of them distributed every day: so that if I allow twenty readers to every paper, which I look upon as a modest computation, I may reckon about three score thousand disciples in London and Westmin ster, who I hope will take care to distinguish them selves from the thoughtless herd of their ignoran and inattentive brethren. Since I have raised to to make their instruction agreeable, and their di myself so great an audience, I shall spare no pain version useful. For which reasons I shall endea
vour to enliven morality with wit, and to temper wit with morality, that my readers may, if possible both ways find their account in the speculation of the day. And to the end that their virtue and starts of thought, I have resolved to refresh their discretion may not be short, transient, intermitting memories from day to day, till I have recovered them out of that desperate state of vice and folly into which the age is fallen. The mind that lies fallow but a single day, sprouts up in follies that are only to be killed by a constant and assiduous culture. It was said of Socrates, that he brought men; and I shall be ambitious to have it said of philosophy down from heaven, to inhabit among me, that I have brought philosophy out of closets and libraries, schools and colleges, to dwell in clubs and assemblies, at tea-tables and in coffee
I would therefore in a very particular manner lated families, that set apart an hour in every recommend these my speculations to all well-regu earnestly advise them for their good to order this morning for tea and bread and butter; and would paper to be punctually served up, and to be look ed upon as a part of the tea equipage.
Sir Francis Bacon observes, that a well-writter book, compared with its rivals and antagonists, is like Moses's serpent, that immediately swallowed up, and devoured those of the Egyptians. I shall not be so vain as to think, that where the Spectator appears, the other public prints will vanish but shall leave it to my reader's consideration. whether it is not much better to be let into the knowledge of one's self, than to hear what passes in Muscovy or Poland; and to amuse ourselves with such writings as tend to the wearing out of ignorance, passion, and prejudice, than such as naturally conduce to inflame hatreds, and make enmities irreconcilable.
In the next place I would recommend this paper to the daily perusal of those gentlemen whom i cannot but consider as my good brothers and allies, I mean the fraternity of Spectators, who live in the world without having any thing to do in it; and either by the affluence of their fortunes, or laziness of their dispositions, have no other business
mankind, but to look upon them. | of men are comprehended all conlesmen, titular physicians, fellows ociety, Templars that are not given HIS, and statesmen that are out of ort, every one that considers the eatre, and desires to form a right se who are the actors on it. ther set of men that I must likewise , whom I have lately called the ty, as being altogether unfurnished the business and conversation of pplied them. I have often consior souls with an eye of great comen I have heard them asking the first
met with, whether there was any and by that means gathering togefor thinking. These needy persons what to talk of, till about twelve morning; for by that time they are adges of the weather, know which sits, and whether the Dutch mail be hey lie at the mercy of the first man d are grave or impertinent all the rding to the notions which they have morning, I would earnestly intreat stir out of their chambers till they paper, and do promise them that I il into them such sound and wholets, as shall have a good effect on tion for the ensuing twelve hours. re none to whom this paper will be than to the female world. I have there has not been sufficient pains ng out proper employments and die fair ones. Their amusements seem them, rather as they are women, are reasonable creatures; and are to the sex than to the species. The great scene of business, and the right their hair the principal employment The sorting of a suit of ribands is very good morning's work; and if n excursion to a mercer's or a toyta fatigue makes them unfit for any the day after. Their more serious re sewing and embroidery, and their gery the preparations of jellies and This, I say, is the state of ordinary gh I know there are multitudes of hore elevated life and conversation, an exalted sphere of knowledge and oin all the beauties of the mind to ts of dress, and inspire a kind of awe as well as love, into their male-beope to increase the number of these this daily paper, which I shall alour to make an innocent, if not an tertainment, and by that means at he minds of my female readers from . At the same time, as I would fain ishing touches to those which are alost beautiful pieces in human nature, vour to point out all those imperfece the blemishes, as well as those virtues e embellishments, of the sex. In the I hope these my gentle readers, who a time on their hands, will not grudge ay a quarter of an hour in a day on ince they may do it without any hin
veral of my friends and well-wishers pain for me, lest I should not be able the spirit of a paper which I oblige
myself to furnish every day: but to make them
N° 11. TUESDAY, MARCH 13, 1710-11.
Dat veniam corvis, vexat censura columbas.
JUV. Sat. ii. 63. The doves are censur'd, while the crows are spar'd. ARIETTA is visited by all persons of both sexes, who have any pretence to wit and gallantry. She is in that time of life which is neither affected with the follies of youth, or infirmities of age: and her conversation is so mixed with gaiety and prudence, that she is agreeable both to the old and the young. Her behaviour is very frank, without being in the least blameable; as she is out of the track of any amorous or ambitious pursuits of her own, her visitants entertain her with accounts of themselves very freely, whether they concern their passions or their interests. I made her a visit this afternoon, having been formerly introduced to the honour of her acquaintance by my friend Will Honeycomb, who has prevailed upon her to admit me sometimes into her assembly, as a civil inoffensive man. I found her accompanied with one person only, a common-place talker, who, upon my entrance, arose, and after a very slight civility sat down again; then turning to Arietta, pursued his discourse, which I found was upon the old topic of constancy in love. He went on with great facility in repeating what he talks every day of his life; and with the ornaments of insignifieant laughs and gestures, enforced his arguments by quotations out of plays and songs, which allude to the perjuries of the fair, and the general levity of women. Methought he strove to shine more than ordinarily in his talkative way, that he might insult my silence, and distinguish himself before a woman of Arietta's taste and understanding. She had often an inclination to interrupt him, but could find no opportunity, till the larum ceased of itself; which it did not till he had repeated and murdered the celebrated story of the Ephesian Matron.
Arietta seemed to regard this piece of raillery as an outrage done to her sex; as indeed I have always observed that women, whether out of a nicer regard to their honour, or what other reason I cannot tell, are more sensibly touched with those general aspersions which are cast upon their sex, than men are by what is said of theirs.
When she had a little recovered herself from the serious anger she was in, she replied in the following manner:
Sir, when I consider how perfectly new all you have said on this subject is, and that the story you have given us is not quite two thousand years old, I cannot but think it a piece of presumption to dispute it with you; but your quotations put me in mind of the fable of the lion and the man. The man, walking with that noble animal, showed