mounted the pulpit, and with a very audible voice read as fol lows.


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Sir Roger de Coverley's country seat-Yes, for I hate long speeches-Query, if a good Christian may be a conjurer-Childermas-day, Salt-seller, House-dog, Screech-owl, Cricket-Mr. Thomas Inkle of London, in the good ship called the Achilles. Yarico-Egrescitque medendo-Ghosts-The Lady's LibraryLion by trade a tailor-Dromedary called Bucephalus Equipage the Lady's summum bonum-Charles Lilly to be taken notice of-Short face a relief to envy-Redundancies in the three professions-King Latinus a recruit-Jew devouring an ham of bacon -Westminster-abbey Grand Cairo-Procrastination-April Fools-Blue Boars, Red Lions, Hogs in armour-Enter a King and two Fidlers solus-Admission into the Ugly Club-Beauty, how improveable-Families of true and false humour-The parrot's school-mistress-Face half Pict half British-No man to be an hero of a tragedy under six foot-Club of Sighers-Letters from Flower-pots, Elbow-chairs, Tapestry figures, Lion, Thunder -The Bell rings to the puppet-show-Old Woman with a beard married to a smock-faced Boy-My next coat to be turned up with blue-Fable of Tongs and Gridiron Flower Dyers-The Soldier's Prayer-Thank ye for nothing, says the Galley-potPactolus in Stockings, with golden clocks to them-Bamboos, Cudgels, Drum-sticks-Slip of my landlady's eldest daughterThe black mare with a star in her forehead-The barber's poleWill. Honeycomb's coat-pocket-Caesar's behaviour and my own in parallel circumstances-Poem in patch-work-Nulli gravis est vercussus Achilles-The Female Conventicler-The Ogle-mas


The reading of this paper made the whole coffee house very


merry: some of them concluded it was written by a madman, and others by somebody that had been taking notes out of the SpecOne who had the appearance of a very substantial citizen, told us, with several politic winks and nods, that he wished there was no more in the paper than what was expressed in it; that, for his part, he looked upon the Dromedary, the Gridiron, and the Barber's pole, to signify something more than what is usually meant by those words; and that he thought the coffee-man could not do better, than to carry the paper to one of the Secretaries of State. He further added, that he did not like the name of the outlandish man with the golden clock in his stockings. A young Oxford scholar, who chanced to be with his uncle at the coffeehouse, discovered to us who this Pactolus was; and by that means turned the whole scheme of this worthy citizen into ridicule. While they were making their several conjectures upon this innocent paper, I reached out my arm to the boy, as he was coming out of the pulpit, to give it to me; which he did accordingly This drew the eyes of the whole company upon me; but, after having cast a cursory glance over it, and shook my head twice cr thrice at the reading of it, I twisted it into a kind of match, and lit my pipe with it. My profound silence, together with the steadiness of my countenance, and the gravity of my behaviour during this whole transaction, raised a very loud laugh on all sides of me; but as I had escaped all suspicion of being the author, I was very well satisfied, and applying myself to my pipe and the post-man, took no further notice of any thing that passed about


My reader will find, that I have already made use of above half the contents of the foregoing paper; and will easily suppose, that those subjects which are yet untouched, were such provisions as I had made for his future entertainment. But as I have been unluckily prevented by this accident, I shall only give him the

letters which relate to the two last hints. The first of them I should not have published, were I not informed that there is many an husband who suffers very much in his private affairs by the indiscreet zeal of such a partner as is hereafter mentioned; to whom I may apply the barbarous inscription quoted by the bishop of Salisbury in his travels; Dum nimia pia est, facta est impia.'


"I AM one of those unhappy men that are plagued with a gospel-gossip, so common among dissenters (especially friends). Lectures in the morning, church-meetings at noon, and preparation sermons at night, take up so much of her time, 'tis very rare she knows what we have for dinner, unless when the preacher is to be at it. With him comes a tribe, all brothers aud sisters, it seems; while others, really such, are deemed no relations. If at any time I have her company alone, she is a meer sermon popgun, repeating and discharging texts, proofs, and applications, so perpetually, that however weary I may go to bed, the noise in my head will not let me sleep still towards morning. The misery of my case, and great numbers of such sufferers, plead your pity and speedy relief; otherwise must expect, in a little time, to be lec tured, preached, and prayed into want, unless the happiness of being sooner talked to death prevent it.

"I am, &c.

"R. G."

The second letter, relating to the Ogling Master, runs thus:


"I AM an Irish gentleman, that have travelled many years for my improvement; during which time I have accomplished myself in the whole art of ogling, as it is at present practised in

1 Burnts Letters, &c., Lett. 1, p. 5, ed. Rotterdam, 1687.-C.

all the polite nations of Europe. Being thus qualified, I intend, by the advice of my friends, to set up for an ogling-master. 1 teach the church ogle in the morning, and the playhouse ogle by candle-light. I have also brought over with me a new flying ogle fit for the ring, which I teach in the dusk of the evening, or in any hour of the day by darkening one of my windows. I have a manuscript by me called The complete Ogler, which I shall be ready to shew you upon any occasion. In the mean time, I beg you will publish the substance of this letter in an advertisement, and you will very much oblige,

"Your's, &c."


No. 47. TUESDAY, APRIL 24.

Ride si sapis


Laugh if you're wise.1

MR. HOBBS, in his discourse of human nature, which, in my humble opinion, is much the best of all his works, after some very curious observations upon laughter, concludes thus: 'The passion of laughter is nothing else but sudden glory arising from some sudden conception of some eminency in ourselves by comparison with the infirmity of others, or with our own formerly: for men laugh at the follies of themselves past, when they come suddenly to remembrance, except they bring with them any present dishonour.

According to this author, therefore, when we hear a man laugh excessively, instead of saying he is very merry, we ought to tell bim he is very proud. And indeed, if we look into the bottom of

1 See Dennis's original letters, p. 147.-C.

this matter, we shall meet with many observa.ions to confirm us in this opinion. Every one laughs at some body that is in an inferior state of folly to himself. It was formerly the custom for every great house in England to keep a tame fool dressed in petticoats, that the heir of the family might have an opportunity of joking upon him, and diverting himself with his absurdities. For the same reason idiots are still in request in most of the courts of Germany, where there is not a prince of any great magnificence, who has not two or three dressed, distinguished, undisputed fools in his retinue, whom the rest of the courtiers are always breaking their jests upon.

The Dutch, who are more famous for their industry and application, than for wit and humour, hang up in several of their streets what they call the sign of the Gaper; that is, the head of an idiot dressed in a cap and bells, and gaping in a most immo derate manner: this is a standing jest at Amsterdam.

Thus every one diverts himself with some person or other that is below him in point of understanding, and triumphs in the superiority of his genius, whilst he has such objects of derision before his eyes. Mr. Dennis has very well expressed this in a couple of humourous lines, which are part of a translation of a satire in Monsieur Boileau.

Thus one fool lolls his tongue out at another,

And shakes his empty noddle at his brother.

Mr. Hobbs's reflection gives us the reason why the insignificant people above mentioned are stirrers up of laughter among men of a gross taste: but as the more understanding part of mankind do not find their risibility affected by such ordinary objects, it may be worth the while to examine into the several provocatives of laughter in men of superior sense and knowledge.

In the first place I must observe, that there is a set of merry

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