The I THE FORTUNATE MISTRESS. that had so tickled my imagination another way, and I was impatient to understand what he meant; but I would not ask him by any means; so it passed off for that time. When he was gone I told Amy what he had said, and Amy was as impatient to know the manner how it could be as I was; but the next time (perfectly unexpected by me) he told me that he had accidentally mentioned a thing to me last time he was with me, having not the least thought of the thing itself; but not knowing but such a thing might be of some weight to me, and that it might bring me respect among people where I might appear, he had thought since of it, and was resolved to ask me about it. I made light of it, and told him that as he knew I had chosen a retired life, it was of no value to me to be called a lady or countess either; but that if he intended to drag me, as I might call it, into the world again, perhaps it might be agreeable to him; but besides that, I could not judge of the thing, because I did not understand how either of them was to be done. He told me that money purchased titles of bonour in almost all parts of the world; though money could not give principles of honour, they must come by birth and blood; that however titles sometimes assist to elevate the soul, and to infuse generous principles into the mind, and especially where there was a good foundation laid in the persons; that he hoped we should neither of us misbehave if we came to it; and that as we know how to wear a title without undue elevations, so it might fit as well upon us as on another; that as to England, he had nothing to do but to get an act of naturalization in his favour, and he knew where to purchase a patent for baronet, that is to say, to have the honour and title transferred to him; but if I intended to go abroad with him, he had a nephew, the son of his elder brother, who had the title of count, with the estate annexed, which was but small, and that he had frequently offered to make it over to him for a thousand pistoles, which was not a great deal of money, and considering it was in the family already, he would, upon my being willing, purchase it immediately. I told him I liked the last; but then I would not let him buy it unless he would let me pay the thousand pistoles. "No, no," says he, "I refused a thousand pistoles that I had more right to have accepted than that, and you shall not be at so much expense now."-" Yes," says I, "you did refuse it, and perhaps repented it afterwards." "But I did," "I never complained," says he. says I, "and often repented it for you."-"I do "Why," says I, not understand you," says he. "I repented that I suffered you to refuse it." "Well, well," said he, "we may talk of that hereafter when you shall resolve which part of the world you will make your settled residence in." Here he talked very handsomely to me, and for a good while together; how it had been his lot to live all his days out of his native country, and to be often shifting and changing the situation of his affairs; and that I myself had not always had a fixed abode, but that now, as neither of us was very young, he fancied I would be for taking up our abode where, if possible, we might remove no more; that as to his part, he was of that opinion entirely, only with this exception, that the choice of the place should be mine, for that all places in the world were alike to him, only with the single addition, namely, that I was with him. I heard him with a great deal of pleasure, as well for his being willing to give me the choice, as for that I resolved to live abroad, for the reason I have mentioned already, namely, lest I should at any time be known in England, and all that story of Roxana, and the balls, should come out; as also I was not a little tickled with the satisfaction of being still a countess, though I could not be a princess. I told Amy all this story, for she was still my privy-councillor; but when I asked her opinion, "Now, which of she made me laugh heartily. the two shall I take, Amy ?" said I; "shall I be a lady, that is, a baronet's lady in England, or a countess in Holland?" The ready-witted jade, that knew the pride of my temper too, almost as well as I did myself, answered (without hesitation), "both, madam: which of them?" says she (repeating the words), "why not both of them? and then you will be really a princess; for sure, to be a lady in English, and a countess in Dutch, may make princess in High Dutch." Upon the whole, though Amy was in jest, she put the thought into my head, and I resolved, that, in short, I would be both of them, which Í managed as you shall hear. I First, I seemed to resolve that I would live and settle in England, only with this condition, namely, that I would not live in London. pretended that it would choke me up; that I wanted breath when I was in London, but anywhere else I would be satisfied; and then I asked him whether any seaport town in England would not suit him? because I knew, though he seemed to leave off, he would always love to be among business, and conversing with men of business; and I named several places, either nearest for business with France or with Holland; as Dovor, or Southampton, for the first; and Ipswich, or Yarmouth, or Hull, for the last; but I took care that we would resolve upon nothing; only by this it seemed to be certain that we should live in England. It was time now to bring things to a conclusion, and so in about six weeks' time more we settled all preliminaries; and, among the rest, he let me know that he should have the bill for his naturalization passed time enough, so that he would be (as he called it) an Englishman before we married. That was soon perfected, the parliament being then sitting, and several other foreigners joining in the said bill to save the expense. It was not above three or four days after, but that, without giving me the least notice that he had so much as been about the patent for baronet, he brought it to me in a fine embroidered bag, and saluting by the name of my Lady (joining his own sirname to it), presented it to me with his picture set with diamonds, and at the same time gave Thus I put an me a breast jewel worth a thousand pistoles, and the next morning we were married. end to all the intriguing part of my life-a life full of prosperous wickedness; the reflections upon which were so much the more afflicting, as the time had been spent in the grossest crimes, which, the more I looked back upon, the more cumstances not to be very great, though not very black and horrid they appeared, effectually drink-low; and next, because she had been so true a ing up all the comfort and satisfaction which I friend, and so cheerful a comforter to me, ay, might otherwise have taken in that part of life || and counsellor too in all this affair, that I had which was still before me. resolved to make her a present that should be some help to her when all was over. The first satisfaction, however, that I took in the new condition I was in, was in reflecting that at length the life of crime was over, and that I was like a passenger coming back from the Indies, who having, after many years' fatigue and hurry in business, gotten a good estate, with innumerable difficulties and hazards, is arrived safe at London with all his effects, and has the pleasure of saying he shall never venture upon the seas any more. But to return to the circumstances of our wedding; after being very merry, as I have told you, Amy and the Quaker put us to bed, and the honest Quaker little thinking we had been a bed together eleven years before; nay, that was a secret which, as it happened, Amy herself did not know. Amy grinned and made faces, as if she had been pleased; but it came out in so many words when he was not by; the sum of her mumWhen we were married, we came back imme-bling and muttering was, that this should have diately to my lodgings (for the church was but just by), and we were so privately married, that none but Amy, and my friend the Quaker, was acquainted with it. As soon as we came into the house, he took me in his arms, and kissing me, "Now you are my own," says he, “O! that you || had been so good to have done this eleven years ago."-" Then," said I, "you, perhaps, would have been tired of me long ago; it is much better now, for now all our happy days are to come; besides," said I," I should not have been half so rich," but that I said to myself, for there was no In the morning my Quaker landlady came and letting him into that reason of it. "O!" says visited us before we were up, and made us eat says he "I should not have been tired of you; || cakes, and drink chocolate in bed; and then left but having the satisfaction of your company, it us again and bid us take a nap upon it, which I had saved me that unlucky blow at Paris, which believe we did; in short, she treated us so handwas a dead loss to me of above eight thousand somely, and with such an agreeable cheerfulness. pistoles, and all the fatigues of so many years' as well as plenty, as made it appear to me that hurry and business;" and then he added, "but Quakers may, and that this Quaker did underI'll make you pay for it all now I have you." I stand good manners, as well as any other people. started a little at the words. "Ay," said I, "do you threaten already? Pray, what d'ye mean by that?" and began to look a little grave. "I'll tell you," says he, "very plainly what I mean,;" and still he held me fast in his arms. I intend from this time never to trouble myself with any more business, so I shall never get one shilling for you more than I have already, all that you will lose one way; next, I intend not to trouble myself with any of the care or trouble of managing what either you have for me, or what I have to add to it; but you shall e'en take it all upon yourself, as the wives do in Holland, so you will pay for it that way too, for all the drudgery shall be yours; thirdly, I intend to condemn you to the constant bondage of my impertinent company, for I shall tie you like a pedlar's pack at my back, I shall scarce ever be from you; for, I am sure I can take delight in nothing else in this world."—" Very well," says I, "but I am pretty heavy, I hope you'll set me down sometimes when you are a weary."-" As for that," says he, "tire me if you can." been done ten or a dozen years before; that it would signify little now; that was to say, in short, that her mistress was pretty near fifty, and too old to have any children. I chid her, the Quaker laughed, complimented me upon my not being so old as Amy pretended, that I could not be above forty, and might have a house full of children yet; but Amy and I too knew better than she how it was, for in short, I was old enough to have done breeding, however I looked; but 1 | made her hold her tongue. This was all jest and allegory; but it was all true, in the moral of the fable, as you shall hear in its place. We were very merry the rest of the day, but without any noise or clutter; for he brought not one of his acquaintance or friends, either English or foreigner. The honest Quaker provided us a very noble dinner indeed, considering how few we were to eat it; and every day that week she did the like, and would, at last, have it be all at her own charge, which I was atterly averse to; first, because I knew her cir I resisted her offer, however, of treating us for the whole week; and I opposed it so long that I saw evidently that she took it ill, and would have thought herself slighted if we had not accepted it; so I said no more, but let her go on, only told her I would be even with her, and so I was. However, for that week she treated us as she said she would, and did it so very fine, and with such a profusion of all sorts of good things, that the greatest burden to her was, how to dispose of things that were left; for she never let any thing, how dainty, or however large, be so much as seen twice among us. I had some servants indeed which helped her off a little; that is to say, two maids, for Amy was now a woman of business, not a servant, and eat always with us; I had also a coachman and a boy; iny Quaker had a man-servant too, but had but one maid; but she borrowed two more of some of her friends for the occasion, and hade man-cook for dressing the victuals. She was only at a loss for plate, which she gave me a whisper of; and I made Amy fetch a large strong box, which I had lodged in a safe hand, in which was all the fine plate which I had provided on a worse occasion, as is mentioned i before, and I put it into the Quaker's hand, ob || liging her not to use it as mine but as her oRD, for a reason I shall mention presently. I was now my Lady and I must own, I was exceedingly pleased with it; 'twas so big, and so great to hear myself called her ladyship, and your ladyhip, and the like, that I was like the Indian king at Virginia, who having a house built for him by the English, and a lock put upon the door, would sit whole days together with the key in his hand, locking and unlocking, and double locking the door, with an unaccountable pleasure at the novelty; so I could have sat a whole day together to hear Amy talk to me, and call me your ladyship at every word; but after awhile the novelty wore off, and the pride of it abated, till at last truly I wanted the other title as much as I did that of ladyship before. We lived this week in all the innocent mirth imaginable, and our good-humoured Quaker was so pleasant in her way, that it was particularly entertaining to us. We had no music at all, or dancing only I now and then sung a French song to divert my spouse, who desired it, and the privacy of our mirth greatly added to the pleasure of it. I did not make many clothes for my wedding, having always a great many rich clothes by me, which, with a little altering for the fashion, were perfectly new. The next day he pressed me to dress, though we had no company; at last, jesting with him, I told him I believed I was able to dress me so, in one kind of dress that I had by me, that he would not know his wife when he saw her, especially if anybody else was by. "No!" he said, "that was impossible, and he longed to see that dress." I told him I would dress me in it, if he would promise me never to desire me to appear in it before company; he promised he would not, but wanted to know why too, as husbands, you know, are inquisitive creatures, and love to inquire after anything they think is kept from them; but I had an answer ready for him; "because," said I, "it is not a decent dress in this country, and would not look modest; neither, indeed, would it, for it was but one degree off from appearing in one's shift, but was the usual wear in the country where they were used," He was satisfied with my answer, and gave me his promise never to ask me to be seen in it before company. I then withdrew, taking only Amy and the Quaker with me; and Amy dressed me in my old Turkish habit which I danced in formerly, and &c. as before. The Quaker was charmed with the dress, and merrily said, "That if such a dress should come to be worn here, she should not know what to do, she should be tempted not to dress in the Quaker's way any more. When all the dress was put on I loaded it with jewels, and in particular, I placed the large breast-jewel which he had given me of a thousand pistoles, upon the front of the Tyhaia, or headdress, where it made a most glorious show indeed. I had my own diamond necklace on, and my hair was tout brilliant, all glittering with jewels. His picture set with diamonds I had placed stitched to my vest, just, as might be supposed, upon my heart (which is the compliment in such cases amongst the Eastern people), and all being open at the breast, there was no room for anything of a jewel there. In this figure, Amy, holding the train of my robe, I came down to him. He was surprised, and perfectly astonished. He knew me, to be sure, because I had prepared, and because I told him of it before, because there was nobody there but the Quaker and Amy; but he by no means knew Amy, for she had dressed herself in the habit of a Turkish slave, being the garb of my little Turk, which I had at Naples' as I have said; she had her neck and arms bare' was bareheaded, and her hair braided in a long tassel hanging down her back; but the jade could neither hold her countenance or her chattering tongue, so as to be concealed long. Well, he was so charmed with this dress that he would have me sit and dine in it; but it was so thin, and so open before, and the weather being also sharp, that I was afraid of taking cold; however, the fire being enlarged, and the doors kept shut, I sat to oblige him, and he professed he never saw so fine a dress in his life. I afterwards told him that my husband (so he called the jeweller that was killed) bought it for me at Leghorn, with a young Turkish slave which I parted with at Paris; and that it was by the help of that slave that I learned how to dress in it, and how everything was to be worn, and many of the Turkish customs also, with some of their language. This story agreeing with the fact, only changing the person, was very natural, and so it went off with him; but there was good reason why I should not receive any company in this dress, that is to say, not in England; I need not repeat it, you will hear more of it. But when I came abroad I frequently put it on, and upon two or three occasions danced in it, but always at his request. We continued at the Quaker's lodgings for above a year; for now making as though it was difficult to determine where to settle in England to his satisfaction, unless in London, which was not to mine, I pretended to make him an offer, that to oblige him, I began to incline to go and live abroad with him; that I knew nothing could be more agreeable to him, and that as to me every place was alike; that as I had lived abroad without a husband so many years, it could be no burden to me to live abroad again, especially with him. Then we fell to straining our courtesies upon one another; he told me he was perfectly easy at living in England, and had squared all his affairs accordingly; for that as he told me he intended to give over all business in the world, as well the care of managing it as the concern about it, seeing we were both in condition neither to want it or to have it be worth our while; so I might see it was his intention, by his getting himself naturalized, and getting the patent of baronet, &c. Well, for all that, I told him I accepted his compliment, but I could not but know that his native country, where his children were breeding up, must be most agreeable to him, and that if I was of such value to him, I would be there then to enhance the rate of his satisfaction; that wherever he was would be a home to me, and any place in the world would be England to me if he was with me; and thus, in short, I brought him to give me leave to oblige him with going to live abroad, when in truth I could not have been perfectly easy at living in England unless I had kept constantly within doors; lest sometime or other the dissolute life I had lived here should have come to be known, and all those wicked things have been known too, which I now began to be very much ashamed of. When we closed up our wedding week, in which our Quaker had been so very handsome to us, I told him how much I thought we were obliged to her for her generous carriage to us; how she had acted the kindest part through the whole, and how faithful a friend she had been to me upon all occasions; and then letting him know a little of her family unhappinesses, I proposed that I thought I not only ought to be grateful to her, but really to do something extraordinary for her, towards making her easy in her affairs. And I added, that I had no hangers-on that should trouble him, that there was nobody belonged to me but what was thoroughly provided for; and that if I did something for this honest woman that was considerable, it should be the last gift I would give to anybody in the world but Amy; and as for her, we were not a going to turn her adrift, but whenever anything offered for her, we would do as we saw cause; that, in the meantime, Amy was not poor, that she had saved together between seven and eight hundred pounds; by the way, I did not tell him how, and by what wicked ways she had got it, but that she had it; and that it was enough to let him know she would never be in want of us. had another thing in view for her about the plate, so I told him I thought if he gave her a purse with a hundred guineas as a present first, and then made her a compliment of 404. per annum for her life, secured any such way as she should desire, it would be very handsome. He agreed to that; and the same day in the evening, when we were just going to bed, he took my Quaker by the hand, and with a kiss, told her, that we had been very kindly treated by her from the beginning of this affair, and his wife before, as she (meaning me) had informed him; and that he thought himself bound to let her see that she had obliged friends who knew how to be grateful; that for his part of the obligation, he desired she would accept of that, for an acknow ledgment in part only (putting the gold into her hand) and that his wife would talk with her about what further he had to say to her; and upon that, not giving her time hardly to say thank ye, away he went up stairs into our bedchamber, leaving her confused and not knowing what to say. When he was gone, she began to make very My spouse was exceedingly pleased with my handsome and obliging representations of her discourse about the Quaker, made a kind of good will to us both, but that it was without exspeech to me upon the subject of gratitude, told pectation of reward; that I had given her seve me it was one of the brightest parts of a gentle-ral valuable presents before, and so indeed I had; woman, that it was so twisted with honesty, nay, and even with religion too, that he questioned whether either of them could be found where gratitude was not to be found; that in this act there was not only gratitude but charity; and that to make the charity still more Christianlike, the object too had real merit to attract it; he therefore agreed to the thing with all his heart, only would have had me let him pay it out of his effects. for, besides the piece of linen which I gave her at first, I had given her a suit of damask tablelinen, of the linen I bought for my balls, viz. three table-cloths and three dozen of napkins, and at another time I gave her a little necklace of gold beads, and the like; but this is by the way; but she mentioned them, I say, and how she was obliged by me on other occasions; that she was not in condition to show her gratitude in any other way, not being able to make a suitable return; I told him, as for that, I did not design, what- and that now we took from her all opportunity to ever I had said formerly, that we should have balance my former friendship, and I left her more two pockets; and that though I had talked to in debt than she was before. She spoke this in him of being a free woman, and an independent, a very good kind of manner, in her own way, and the like, and he had offered and promised but which was very agreeable indeed, and had as that I should keep all my own estate in my own much apparent sincerity, and I verily believe as hands; yet, that since I had taken him, I would real as was possible to be expressed; but I put even do as other honest wives did, where I thought a stop to it, and bid her say no more, but accept fit to give myself, I should give what I had too; of what my spouse had given her, which was but that if I reserved anything it should be only in in part, as she had heard him say. "And put it case of mortality, and that I might give it to his up," says I, "and come and sit down here, and children afterwards, as my own gift; and that, give me leave to say something else to you on the in short, if he thought fit to join stocks, we same head, which my spouse and I have settled should see to-morrow morning what strength we between ourselves in your behalf."—" What dost could both make up in the world, and bring-thee mean?" says she, and blushed, and looked ing it all together, consider before we resolved surprised, but did not stir. She was going to upon the place of removing, how we should dis-speak again, but I interrupted her, and told her pose of what we had, as well as of ourselves. she should make no more apologies of any kind This discourse was too obliging, and he too much whatever, for I had better things than all this to a man of sense not to receive it, as it was meant; talk to her of; so I went on, and told her, that he only answered, we would do in that as we as she had been so friendly and kind to us on should both agree; but the thing under our pre- every occasion, and that her house was the lucky sent care was to show not gratitude only, but place where we came together; and that she charity and affection too, to our kind friend the knew I was from her own mouth acquainted in Quaker; and the first word he spoke of was to part with her circumstances, we were resolved settle a 1,000l. upon her for her life, that is to she should be the better for us so long as she say, 601. a year; but in such a manner as not to lived. Then I told her what we had resolved to be in the power of any person to reach but her- do for her, and that she had nothing more to do self. This was a great thing, and indeed showed but to consult with me how it should be effectually the generous principles of my husband, and for secured for her, distinct from any of the effects that reason I mention it; but I thought that a which were her husband's; and that if her hus little too much too, and particularly, because Iband did so supply her, that she could live com fortably, and not want it for bread or other necessaries, she should not make use of it, but lay up the income of it, and add it every year to the principal, so to increase the annual payments, which in time, and perhaps before she might|| come to want it might double itself; that we were very willing whatever she should so lay up should be to herself, and whoever she thought fit after her; but that the 401. a-year must return to our family after her life, which we both wished might be long and happy. Let no reader wonder at my extraordinary concern for this poor woman, or at my giving my bounty to her a place in this account. It is not, I assure you, to make a pageantry of my charity, or to value myself upon the greatness of my soul, that should give in so profuse a manner as this, which was above my figure, if my wealth had been twice as much as it was; but there was another spring from whence all flowed, and it is on that account I speak of it. Was it possible I could think of a poor desolate woman with four children and her husband gone from her, and perhaps good for little if he had stayed; I say, was I, that had tasted so deep of the sorrows of such a kind of widowhood, able to look on her, and think of her circumstances, and not to be touched in an uncommon manner? No, no, I never looked on her and her family, though she was not left so helpless and friendless as I had been, without remembering my condition, when Amy was sent out to pawn or sell my pair of stays to buy a breast of mutton, and a bunch of turnips; nor could I look on her poor children, though not poor and perishing, like mine, without tears; reflecting on the dreadful condition that mine were reduced to, when poor Amy sent them all unto their aunt's in Spitalfields, and run away from them. These were the original springs|| or fountain-head, from whence my affectionate thoughts were moved to assist this poor woman. When a poor debtor, having lain long in the Compter, or Ludgate, or the King's Bench, for debt, and afterwards gets out, rises again in the world, and grows rich, such an one is a certain benefactor to the prisoners there, and perhaps to every prison he passes by as long as he lives, for he remembers the dark days of his own sorrow; and even those who never had the experience of such sorrows to stir up their minds to acts of charity, would have the same charitable good disposition, did they as sensibly remember what it is that distinguishes them from others by a more favourable and merciful providence. This, I say, was however the spring of my concern for this honest, friendly, and grateful Quaker; and as I had so plentiful a fortune in the world, I resolved she should taste of the fruit of her kind usage to me, in a manner that she could not expect. All the while I talked to her I saw the disorder of her mind; the sudden joy was too much for her, and she coloured, trembled, changed, and at last grew pale, and was indeed near fainting; when she hastily rung a little bell for her maid, who coming in immediately, she beckoned to her, for speak she could not, to fill her a glass of wine, but she had no breath to take in, and was almost choked with that which she took in her mouth. I saw she was illl, and assisted her what I could and with spirits and things to smell to, just kept her from fainting, when she beckoned to her maid to withdraw, and immediately burst out in crying, and that relieved her. When she recovered herself a little, she flew to me, and throwing her arms about my neck, "O!" says she, "thou hast almost killed me;" and there she hung, laying her head in my neck for half a quarter of an hour, not able to speak, but sobbing like a child that had been whipped. I was very sorry that I did not stop a little in the middle of my discourse, and make her drink a glass of wine, before it had put her spirits into such a violent motion; but it was too late, and it was ten to one odds but that it had killed her. But she came to herself at last, and began to say some very good things in return for my kindness; I would not let her go on, but told her, I had more to say to her still than all this, but that I would let it alone till another time; my meaning was about the box of plate, good part of which I gave her, and some I gave to Amy, for I had so much plate, and some so large, that I thought if I let my husband see it, he might be apt to wonder what occasion I could ever had for so much, and for plate of such a kind too; as particularly, a great cistern for bottles, which cost a hundred and twenty pounds, and some large candlesticks, too big for any ordinary use. These I caused Amy to sell; in short, Amy sold above three hundred pounds worth of plate; what I gave the Quaker was worth above sixty pounds, and I gave Amy above thirty-three pounds worth, and yet I had a great deal left for my husband. Nor did our kindness to the Quaker end with the forty pounds a-year, for we were always, while we stayed with her, which was above ten months, giving her one good thing or another; and, in a word, instead of lodging with her, she boarded with us, for I kept the house, and she and all her family eat and drank with us, and yet we paid her the rent of the house too; in short, I remembered my widowhood, and I made this widow's heart glad many a day the more upon that account. And now my spouse and I began to think of going over to Holland, where I had proposed to him to live, and in order to settle all the preliminaries of our future manner of living, I began to draw in my effects, so as to have them all at command, upon whatever occasion we thought fit; after which, one morning I called my spouse up to me, "Hark ye, sir," said I to him, "I have two very weighty questions to ask of you; I do not know what answer you will give to the first, but I doubt you will be able to give a sorry answer to the other, and yet, I assure you, it is of the last importance to yourself, and towards the future part of your life, wherever it is to be." He did not seem to be much alarmed, because he could see I was speaking in a kind of merry way. "Let's hear your questions, my dear," says he, "and I'll give the best answer I can to them."-" Why first," says I, "I. You have married a wife here, made her a lady, and put her in expectation of being something else still, when she comes abroad; pray have you examined whether you are able to supply all her extravagant demands when she comes |