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No. 46.] MONDAY, APRIL 23, 1711.
Non bene junctarum discordia semina rerum.
OVID. Met., 1, i, ver. 9.

The jarring seeds of ill-concerted things. WHEN I want materials for this paper, it is my custom to go abroad in quest of game; and when I meet any proper subject, I take the first opportunity of setting down a hint of it upon paper. At the same time, I look into the letters of my correspondents, and if I find anything suggested in them that may afford matter of speculation, I likewise enter a minute of it in my collection of materials. By this means I frequently carry about me a whole sheetful of hints, that would look like a rhapsody of nonsense to anybody but myself. There is nothing in them but obscurity and confusion, raving and inconsistency. In short, they are my speculations in the first principles, that (like the world in its chaos) are void of all light, distinction, and order.

About a week since there happened to me a very odd accident, by reason of one of these my papers of minutes which I had accidentally dropped at Lloyd's coffee-house, where the auctions are usually kept. Before I missed it, there was a cluster of people who had found it, and were diverting themselves with it at one end of the coffee-house. It had raised so much laughter among them before I had observed what they were about, that I had not the courage to own it. The boy of the coffeehouse, when they had done with it, carried it about in his hand, asking everybody if they had dropped a written paper; but nobody challenging it, he was ordered by those merry gentlemen who had before perused it, to get up into the auction pulpit, and read it to the whole room, that if any one would own it, they might. The boy accordingly mounted the pulpit, and with a very audible voice read as follows:

MINUTES.

Sir Roger de Coverly's country seat-Yes, for I hate long speeches-Query, if a good Christian may be a conjurer-Childermas-day, saltcellar, house-dog, screech-owl, cricket-Mr. Thomas Incle of London, in the good ship called the AchillesYarico Egrescitque medendo-Ghosts - The Lady's Library-Lion by trade a tailor-Dromedary called Bucephalus - Equipage the lady's summum bonum-Charles Lillie to be taken notice of-Short face a relief to envy-Redundancies in three professions-King Latinus a recruit-Jew devouring a ham of bacon-Westminster-abbeyGrand Cario-Procrastination-April fools-Blue boars, red lions, hogs in armor-Enter a king and two fiddlers solus-Admission into the Ugly club Beauty how improvable-Families of true and false humor-The parrot's school-mistress-Face

half Pict half British-No man to be a hero of a

tragedy under six foot-Club of sighers-Letters from flower-pots, elbow-chairs, tapestry-figures, lion, thunder-The bell-rings to the puppetshow-Old woman with a beard married to a smock-faced boy-My next coat to be turned up with blue-Fable of tongs and gridiron-Flower dyers-The soldier's prayer-Thank ye for nothing, says the gallipot-Pactolus in stockings with golden clocks to them-Bamboos, cudgels, drum-sticks-Slip of my landlady's eldest daughter-The black mare with a star in her foreheadThe barber's pole-Will Honeycomb's coat-pocket -Caesar's behavior and my own in parallel circumstances Poem in patch-work-Nulli gravi est percussus Achilles-The female conventicler-The ogle-master.

house very merry; some of them concluded it was written by a madman, and others by somebody that had been taking notes out of the Spectator. One who had the appearance of a very substantial citizen, told us, with several political winks and nods, that he wished there was no more in the paper than what was expressed in it: that for his part, he looked upon the dromedary, the gridiron, and the barber's pole, to signify more than was usually meant by those words: and that he thought the coffee-man could not do better than to carry the paper to one of the secretaries of state. He farther added, that he did not like the name of the outlandish man with the golden clock in his stockings. A young Oxford scholar, who chanced to be with his uncle at the coffee-house, discovered to us who this Pactolus was: and by that means turned the whole scheme of this worthy citizen into ridicule. While they were making their several conjectures upon this innocent paper, I reached out my arm to the boy as he was coming out of the pulpit, to give it me; which he did accordingly. This drew the eyes of the whole company upon me; but after having cast a cursory glance over it, and shook my head twice or thrice at the reading of it, I twisted it into a kind of match, and lighted my pipe with it. My profound silence, together with the steadiness of my countenance, and the gravity of my behavior during this whole transaction, raised a very loud laugh on all sides of me; but as I had escaped all suspicion of being the author, I was very well satisfied, and applying myself to my pipe and the Postman, took no farther notice of anything that had passed about me.

My reader will find, that I have already made use of above half the contents of the foregoing paper; and will easily suppose, that those subjects which are yet untouched were such provisions

But

as I had made for his future entertainment. as I have been unluckily prevented by this accident, I shall only give him the letters which re lated to the two last hints. The first of them I should not have published, were I not informed that there is many a husband who suffers very much in his private affairs by the indiscreet zeal of such a partner as is hereafter mentioned; to whom I may apply the barbarous inscription quoted by the Bishop of Salisbury in his travels: Ďum nimia pia est facta est impia. Through too much piety she became impious."

"SIR,

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"I am one of those unhappy men that are plagued with a gospel gossip, so common among dissenters (especially friends). Lectures in the morning, church-meetings at noon, and preparation-sermons at night, take up so much of her time, it is very rare she knows what we have for dinner, unless when the preacher is to be at it. With him come a tribe, all brothers and sisters it seems; while others, really such, are deemed no alone, she is a mere sermon pop-gun, repeating relations. If at any time I have her company and discharging texts, proofs, and applications so perpetually, that however weary I may go to bed, the noise in my head will not let me sleep till toward morning. The misery of my case, and great numbers of such sufferers, plead your pity and speedy relief; otherwise I must expect, in a little time, to be lectured, preached, and prayed talked to death prevent it. into want, unless the happiness of being sooner

"I am, etc.

"R. G." The second letter, relative to the ogling-master,

The reading of this paper made the whole coffee-runs thus:

"MR. SPECTATOR,

"I am an Irish gentleman that have traveled many years for my improvement; during which time I have accomplished myself in the whole art of ogling, as it is at present practiced in the polite nations of Europe. Being thus qualified, 1 intend, by the advice of my friends, to set up for an ogling-master. I teach the church ogle in the morning, and the play-house ogle by candlelight. I have also brought over with me a new flying ogle fit for the ring; which I teach in the dusk of the evening, or in any hour of the day, by darkening one of my windows. I have a manuscript by me called The Complete Ogler, which I shall make ready to show on any occasion. In the meantime, I beg you will publish the substance of this letter in an advertisement, and you will very much oblige, C.

"Your, etc."

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MR. HOBBS, in his Discourse of Human Nature, which, in my humble opinion, is much the best of all his works, after some very curious observations upon laughter, concludes thus: "The passion of laughter is nothing else but sudden glory arising from some sudden conception of some eminency in ourselves, by comparison with the infirmities of others, or with our own formerly: for men laugh at the follies of themselves past, when they come suddenly to remembrance, except they bring with them any present dishonor."

According to this author, therefore, when we hear a man laugh excessively, instead of saying he is very merry, we ought to tell him he is very proud. And indeed, if we look into the bottom of this matter, we shall meet with many observations to confirm us in this opinion. Every one laughs at somebody that is in an inferior state of folly to himself. It was formerly the custom for every great house in England to keep a tame fool dressed in petticoats, that the heir of the family might have an opportunity of joking upon him, and diverting himself with his absurdities. For the same reason, idiots are still in request in most of the courts of Germany, where there is not a prince of any great magnificence, who has not two or three dressed, distinguished, undisputed fools in his retinue, whom the rest of the courtiers are always breaking their jests upon.

The Dutch, who are more famous for their industry and application than for wit and humor, hang up in several of their streets what they call the sign of the Gaper, that is, the head of an idiot dressed in a cap and bells, and gaping in a most immoderate manner. This is a standing jest at Amsterdam.

Thus every one diverts himself with some person or other that is below him in point of under standing, and triumphs in the superiority of his genius, while he has such objects of derision before his eyes. Mr. Dennis has very well expressed this in a couple of humorous lines, which are part of a translation of a satire in Monsieur Boileau:

Thus one fool lolls his tongue out at another,
And shakes his empty noddle at his brother.

Mr. Hobbs's reflection gives us the reason why the insignificant people above-mentioned are stirrers up of laughter among men of a gross taste: but as the more understanding part of mankind do not find their risibility affected by such ordinary objects, it may be worth the while to examine into

the several provocatives of laughter in men superior sense and knowledge.

In the first place I must observe, that there a set of merry drolls, whom the common people all countries admire, and seem to love so we "that they could eat them," according to the proverb: I mean those circumforaneous wits whe every nation calls by the name of that dish meat which it loves best: in Holland they a termed Pickled Herrings; in France, Jean P tages; in Italy, Macaronies; and in Great Britai Jack Puddings. These merry wags, from whi soever food they receive their titles, that they m make their audiences laugh, always appear in fool's coat, and commit such blunders and mi takes in every step they take, and every word th utter, as those who listen to them would ashamed of.

But this little triumph of the understandin under the disguise of laughter, is nowhere mo visible than in that custom which prevails ever where among us on the first day of the prese month, when everybody takes it into his headi make as many fools as he can. In proportion there are more follies discovered, so there is mo laughter on this day than on any other in th whole year. A neighbor of mine, who is haberdasher by trade, and a very shallow con ceited fellow, makes his boast that for these te years successively he has not made less than hundred April fools. My landlady had a fallin out with him about a fortnight ago, for sendin every one of her children upon some sleeveles errand, as she terms it. Her eldest son went t buy a halfpenny-worth of inkle at a shoemaker's the eldest daughter was dispatched half a mile t see a monster; and in short the whole family o innocent children made April fools. Nay, m landlady herself did not escape him. This empt fellow has laughed upon these conceits ever since

This art of wit is well enough, when confine to one day in a twelvemonth; but there is an inge nious tribe of men sprung up of late years, wh are for making April fools every day in the year These gentlemen are commonly distinguished b the name of Biters; a race of men that are perpe tually employed in laughing at those mistake which are of their own production.

Thus we see, in proportion as one man is mor refined than another, he chooses his fool out of lower or higher class of mankind; or to speak in a more philosophical language, that secret elation or pride of heart which is generally called laugh ter, arises in him, from his comparing himself with an object below him, whether it so happens that i be a natural or an artificial fool. It is, indeed very possible that the persons we laugh at may in the main of their characters be much wiser ruer than ourselves; but if they would have us laugh at them, they must fall short of us in those re spects which stir up this passion.

I am afraid I shall appear too abstracted in my speculations, if I show, that when a man of wi makes us laugh. it is by betraying some oddness or infirmity in his own character, or in the repre sentation which he makes of others; and that when we laugh at a brute, or even at an inanimate thing, it is at some action or incident that bears a remote analogy to any blunder or absurdity in reasonable creatures.

But to come into common life; I shall pass by the consideration of those stage coxcombs that are able to shake a whole audience, and take notice of a particular sort of men who are such provokers of mirth in conversation, that it is impossible for a club or merry meeting to subsist without themI mean those honest gentlemen that are always

exposed to the wit and raillery of their wellwishers and companions; that are pelted by men, women, and children, friends and foes, and in a word, stand as butts in conversation, for every one to shoot at that pleases. I know several of these butts who are men of wit and sense, though by some odd turn of humor, some unlucky cast in their person or behavior, they have always the misfortune to make the company merry. The truth of it is, a man is not qualified for a butt, who has not a good deal of wit and vivacity, even in the ridiculous side of his character. A stupid butt is only fit for the conversation of ordinary people: men of wit require one that will give them play, and bestir himself in the absurd part of his behavior. A butt with these accomplishments frequently gets the laugh on his side and turns the ridicule upon him that attacks him. Sir John Falstaff was a hero of this species, and gives a good description of himself in his capacity of a butt, after the following manner: Men of all sorts," says that merry knight, "take a pride to gird at me. The brain of man is not able to invent anything that tends to laughter more than I invent, or is invented on me. I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other men." C.

No. 48.]

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25, 1711.
Per multas aditum sibi sæpe figuras
Repperit
OVID, Met. xiv, 652.
Through various shapes he often finds access.

My correspondents take it ill if I do not, from time to time, let them know I have received their letters. The most effectual way will be to publish some of them that are upon important subjects; which I shall introduce with a letter of my own that I wrote a fortnight ago to a fraternity who thought fit to make me an honorary member.

To the President and Fellows of the Ugly Club.

"MAY IT PLEAse your DeformITIES. "I have received the notification of the honor you have done me, in admitting me into your society. I acknowledge my want of merit, and for that reason shall endeavor at all times to make up my own failures, by introducing and recommending to the club persons of more undoubted qualifications than I can pretend to. I shall next week come down in the stage-coach, in order to take my seat at the board; and shall bring with me a candidate of each sex. The persons I shall present to you, are an old beau and a modern Pict. If they are not so eminently gifted by nature as our assembly expects, give me leave to say their acquired ugliness is greater than any that has ever yet appeared before you. The beau has varied his dress every day in his life for these thirty years past, and still added to the deformity he was born with. The Pict has still greater merit toward us, and has, ever since she came to years of discretion, deserted the handsome party, and taken all possible pains to acquire the face in which I shall present her to your consideration and favor. "I am, Gentlemen,

"Your most obliged humble servant,
#6 'THE SPECTATOR.”

"P. S. I desire to know whether you admit people of quality." "MR. SPECTATOR.

April 17.

"To show you there are among us of the vain weak sex, some that have honesty and fortitude enough to dare to be ugly, and willing to be thought so, I apply myself to you, to beg your

interest and recommendation to the Ugly club. If my own word will not be taken (though in this case a woman's may), I can bring credible witnesses of my qualifications for their company, whether they insist upon hair, forehead, eyes, cheeks, or chin; to which I must add, that I find it easier to lean to my left side than to my right. I hope I am in all respects agreeable; and for humor and mirth, I will keep up to the president himself. All the favor I will pretend to is, that as I am the first woman who has appeared desirous of good company and agreeable conversation, I may take, and keep, the upper end of the table. And indeed I think they want a carver, which I can be, after as ugly a manner as they could wish. I desire your thoughts of my claim as soon as you can. Add to my features the length of my face, which is a full half-yard; though I never knew the reason of it till you gave one for the shortness of yours. If I knew a name ugly enough to belong to the above described face, I would feign one; but, to my unspeakable misfortune, my name is the only disagreeable prettiness about me; so prithee make one for me that signifies all the deformity in the world. You understand Latin, but be sure bring it in with my being, in the sincerity of my heart, "Your most frightful admirer and servant, "HECATISSA."

"MR. SPECTATOR,

"I read your discourse upon affectation, and from the remarks made in it, examined my own heart so strictly, that I thought I had found out its most secret avenues, with a resolution to be aware of them for the future. But alas! to my sorrow I now understand that I have several follies which I do not know the root of. I am an old fellow, and extremely troubled with the gout; but having always a strong vanity toward being pleasing in the eyes of women, I never have a moment's case, but I am mounted in high-heeled shoes, with a glazed wax-leather instep. Two days after a severe fit, I was invited to a friend's house in the city, where I believed I should see ladies; and with my usual complaisance, crippled myself to wait upon them. A very sumptuous table, agreeable company, and kind reception, were but so many importunate additions to the torment I was in. A gentleman of the family observed my condition; and soon after the queen's health, he in the presence of the whole company, with his own hands, degraded me into an old pair of his own shoes. This operation, before fine ladies, to me (who am by nature a coxcomb) was suffered with the same reluctance as they admit the help of men in the greatest extremity. The return of ease made me forgive the rough obligation laid upon me, which at that time relieved my body from a distemper, and will my mind forever from a folly. For the charity received, I return my thanks this way. Your most humble servant.

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"We have your papers here the morning they come out, and we have been very well entertained with your last, upon the false ornaments of persons who represent heroes in a tragedy. What made your speculation come very seasonably among us is, that we have now at this place a company of strollers, who are far from offending in the impertinent splendor of the drama. They are so far from falling into these false gallantries, that the stage is here in its original situation of a cart. Alexander the Great was acted by a fellow in a paper cravat. The next day the Earl of Essex seemed to have no distress but his poverty; and

my Lord Foppington the same morning wanted any better means to show himself a fop, than by wearing stockings of different colors. In a word, though they have had a full barn for many days together, our itinerants are still so wretchedly poor, that without you can prevail to send us the furniture you forbid at the play-house, the heroes appear only like sturdy beggars, and the heroines gipsies. We have had but one part which was performed and dressed with propriety, and that was Justice Clodpate. This was so well done, that it offended Mr. Justice Overdo, who, in the midst of our whole audience, was (like Quixote in the puppet-show) so highly provoked, that he told them, if they would move compassion, it should be in their own persons, and not in the characters of distressed princes and potentates. He told them, if they were so good at finding the way to people's hearts, they should do it at the end of bridges or church porches, in their proper vocation of beggars. This, the justice says, they must expect, since they could not be contented to act heathen warriors, and such fellows as Alexander, but must presume to make a mockery of one of the quorum. "Your servant."

R.

No. 49.] THURSDAY, APRIL 26, 1711.
-Hominem pagina nostra sapit.-MART.

Men and manners I describe.

Ir is very natural for a man who is not turned for mirthful meetings of men, or assemblies of the fair sex, to delight in that sort of conversation which we find in coffee-houses. Here a man of my temper is in his element; for if he cannot talk, he can still be more agreeable to his company, as well as pleased in himself, in being only a hearer. It is a secret known but to few, yet of no small use in the conduct of life, that when you fall into a man's conversation, the first thing you should consider is, whether he has a greater inclination to hear you, or that you should hear him. The latter is the more general desire, and I know very able flatterers that never speak a word in praise of the persons from whom they obtain daily favors, but still practice a skillful attention to whatever is uttered by those with whom they converse. We are very curious to observe the behavior of great men and their clients; but the same passions and interests move men in lower spheres; and I (that have nothing else to do but make observations) sce in every parish, street, lane, and alley, of this populous city, a little potentate that has his court and his flatterers, who lay snares for his affection and favor by the same arts that are practiced upon men in higher stations.

every cause there; and others come in the gowns to saunter away their time, as if th designed to go thither. I do not know th in any of my walks, objects which move spleen and laughter so effectually, as thot fellows at the Grecian, Squire's, Searle's other coffee-houses adjacent to the law, early for no other purpose but to publ laziness. One would think these young take a gay cap and slippers, with a scarf a colored gown, to be the ensigns of dignit vain things approach each other with an a shows they regard one another for their v I have observed, that the superiority am proceeds from an opinion of gallantry and The gentleman in the strawberry sash, sides so much over the rest, has, it se scribed to every opera this last winte supposed to receive favors from on actresses.

When the day grows too busy for the men to enjoy any longer the pleasure dishabille with any manner of confide give place to men who have business or g in their faces, and come to the coffee-ho to transact affairs, or enjoy conversati persons to whose behavior and discour most regard, are such as are between sorts of men; such as have not spirits to be happy and well pleased in a priv tion, nor complexions too warm to make glect the duties and relations of life. sort of men consist the worthier part of of these are all good fathers, generous sincere friends, and faithful subjects. tertainments are derived rather from re imagination: which is the cause that t impatience or instability in their speech You see in their countenances they ar and in quiet possession of the present it passes, without desiring to quicken i fying any passion, or prosecuting any n These are the men formed for society, little communities which we express b neighborhood.

The coffee-house is the place of ren all that live near it, who are thus turne calm and ordinary life. Eubulus pr the middle hours of the day, when thi of men meet together. He enjoys a g handsomely, without launching into ex exerts many noble and useful qualiti appearing in any public employment dom and knowledge are serviceable think fit to make use of them; and office of a counsel, a judge, an exec friend, to all his acquaintance, not o In the place I most usually frequent, men differ the profits which attend such office rather in the time of day in which they make a without the deference and homage figure, than in any real greatness above one an- usually paid to them. The giving o other. I, who am at the coffee-house at six in the displeasing to him. The greatest gr morning, know that my friend Beaver, the haber- can show him is, to let him see that dasher, has a levee of more undissembled friends better man for his services; and that and admirers than most of the courtiers or gene-ready to oblige others, as he is to obli rals of Great Britain. Every man about him has, perhaps, a newspaper in his hand; but none can pretend to guess what step will be taken in any one court of Europe, till Mr. Beaver has thrown down his pipe, and declares what measures the allies must enter into upon this new posture of affairs. Our coffee-house is near one of the inns of court, and Beaver has the audience and admiration of his neighbors from six till within a quarter of eight, at which time he is interrupted by the students of the house; some of whom are ready dressed for Westminster at eight in a morning, with faces as busy as if they were retained in

In the private exigencies of his lends at legal value considerable sum might highly increase by rolling in stocks. He does not consider in whos money will improve most, but wher most good.

Eubulus has so great an authority diurnal audience, that when he shak at any piece of public news, they all pear dejected; and on the contrary, their dinners with a good stomach aspect when Eubulus seems to intimat go well

their veneration towa

is turned.

great, that when they are in other company they | chipping the outside of it, which is now as smooth speak and act after him; are wise in his sen- as the surface of a pebble; and is in several tences, and are no sooner sat down at their own places hewn out into pillars that stand like the tables, but they hope or fear, rejoice or despond, trunks of so many trees bound about the top with as they saw him do at the coffee-house. In a garlands of leaves. It is probable that when this word, every man is Eubulus as soon as his back great work was begun, which must have been many hundred years ago, there was some religion among this people; for they give it the name of a temple, and have a tradition that it was designed for men to pay their devotion in. And indeed there are several reasons which make us think that the natives of this country had formerly among them some sort of worship, for they set apart every seventh day as sacred; but upon my going into one of these holy houses on that day, I could not observe any circumstance of devotion in their behavior. There was indeed a man in black, who was mounted above the rest, and seemed to utter something with a great deal of vehemence; but as for those underneath him, instead of paying their worship to the deity of the place, they were most of them bowing and curtseying to one another, and a considerable number of them fast asleep.

Having here given an account of the several reigns that succeed each other from day-break till dinner-time, I shall mention the monarchs of the afternoon on another occasion, and shut up the whole series of them with the history of Tom the Tyrant; who, as the first minister of the coffeehouse, takes the government upon him between the hours of eleven and twelve at night, and gives his orders in the most arbitrary manner to the servants below him, as to the disposition of liquors, coal, and cinders.-R.

No. 50.] FRIDAY, APRIL 27, 1711.
Nunquam aliud natura, aliud sapientia dixit.
Juv., Sat. xix, 321.
Good taste and nature always speak the same.

WHEN the four Indian kings were in this country about a twelvemonth ago, I often mixed with the rabble, and followed them a whole day together, being wonderfully struck with the sight of everything that is new or uncommon. I have since their departure, employed a friend to make many inquiries of their fandlord the upholsterer, relating to their manners and conversation, as also concerning the remarks which they made in this country; for next to the forming a right notion of such strangers, I should be desirous of learning what ideas they have conceived of us.

“The queen of the country appointed two men to attend us, that had enough of our language to make themselves understood in some few particulars. But we soon perceived that these two were very great enemies to one another, and did not always agree in the same story. We could make shift to gather out of one of them, that this island was very much infested with a monstrous kind of animals, in the shape of men, called whigs; he often told us, that he hoped we should meet with none of them in our way, for that if we did, they would be apt to knock us down for being kings.

and

Our other interpreter used to talk very much The upholsterer finding my friend very inquisi- of a kind of animal called a tory, that was as tive about these his lodgers, brought him some great a monster as the whig, and would treat us as time since a little bundle of papers, which he as- ill for being foreigners. These two creatures, it sured him were written by king Sa Ga Yean Qua seems, are born with a secret antipathy to one Rash Tow, and, as he supposes, left behind by another, and engage when they meet as naturally some mistake. These papers are now translated, as the elephant and the rhinoceros. But as we and contain abundance of very odd observations, saw none of either of these species, we are apt to which I find this little fraternity of kings made think that our guides deceived us with misrepreduring their stay in the isle of Great Britain. Isentations and fictions, and amused us with an shall present my reader with a short specimen of account of such monsters as are not really in their them in this paper, and may perhaps communicate country. more to him hereafter. In the article of London are the following words, which, without doubt are meant of the church of St. Paul:

"On the most rising part of the town there stands a huge house, big enough to contain the whole nation of which I am king. Our good brother E Tow O Koam, king of the Rivers, is of opinion it was made by the hands of that great God to whom it is consecrated. The kings of Granajah and of the Six Nations believe that it was created with the earth, and produced on the same day with the sun and moon. But for my own part, by the best information that I could get of this matter, I am apt to think that this prodigious pile was fashioned into the shape it now Bears by several tools and instruments, of which they have a wonderful variety in this country. It was probably at first a huge misshapen rock that grew upon the top of the hill, which the natives of the country (after having cut into a kind of regular figure) bored and hollowed with incredible pains and industry, till they had wrought in it all those beautiful vaults and caverns into which it is divided at this day. As soon as this rock was thus curiously scooped to their liking, a prodigious number of hands must have been employed in

*The waiter of that coffee-house, frequently nick-named Sir Thomas.

"These particulars we made a shift to pick out from the discourse of our interpreters, which we put together as well as we could, being able to understand but here and there a word of what they said, and afterward making up the meaning of it among ourselves. The men of the country are very cunning and ingenious in handicraft works, but withal so very idle, that we often saw young lusty raw-boned fellows carried up and down the streets in little covered rooms, by a couple of porters who are hired for that service. Their dress is likewise very barbarous, for they almost strangle themselves about the neck, and bind their bodies with several ligatures, that we are apt to think are the occasion of several distempers among them, which our country is entirely free from. Instead of those beautiful feath ers with which we adorn our heads, they often buy up a monstrous bush of hair, which covers their heads and falls down in a large fleece below the middle of their backs; and with which they walk up and down the streets, and are as proud of it as if it was of their own growth. “We were invited to one of their public diver

Of these two animals the Indian kings could have no ideas, and therefore seem here to be illustrating "obscurum per obscurius," and explaining the monsters spoken of here by animals that were not really in their country.

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