Thou art our whole Menander, and dost look Like the old Greek; think, then, but on his Cook. If thou thy full cups bring Out of the Muses' spring, And strive t' engage the scene with their damn'd oaths, As they do with the privilege of their clothes. Whilst thou tak'st that high spirit, Well purchas'd by thy merit : And there are some foul mouths had rather Great Prince of Poets, though thy head be gray drink Out of the common sink ; There let them seek to quench th' hydropic thirst, Till the swoln humor burst. From thy most precious meals, Since thy strange plenty finds no loss by it, And let those silken men That know not how, or when To spend their money, or their time, maintain With their consumed no-brain, Their barbarous feeding on such gross base stuff As only serves to puff Up the weak empty mind, Like bubbles full with wind, Crown it with Delphic bay, And from the chief [pin] in Apollo's quire, It shall strike out the star, Which fabulous Greece durst fix in heaven, whilst thine, With all due glory, here on earth shall shine. Sing, English Horace, sing Whilst his triumphant chariot runs his whole Sing down the Roman harper; he shall rain And with his golden rays, So gild thy glorious bays, That Fame shall bear on her unwearied wing, What the best Poet sung of the best King. Enter Master PROBEE and Master DAMPLAY, met by a Boy of the house. Boy. What do you lack, gentlemen, what is't you luck? any fine fancies, figures, humors, characters, ideas, definitions of lords and ladies? Waitingwomen, parasites, knights, captains, courtiers, lawyers? what do you lack? Pro. A pretty prompt boy for the poetic shop! Dam. And a bold! Where's one of your masters, sirrah, the poet? Boy. Which of them, sir? we have divers that drive that trade, now; poets, poetaccios, poetasters, poetitos Dam. And all haberdashers of small wit, I presume; we would speak with the poet of the day, boy. But I have the dominBoy. Sir, he is not here. ion of the shop, for this time, under him, and can shew you all the variety the stage will afford for the present. Pro. Therein you will express your own good parts, boy. Dam. And tie us two to you for the gentle office. Pro. We are a pair of public persons (this gentleman and myself) that are sent thus coupled unto you, upon state-business. Boy. It concerns but the state of the stage, I hope. Dam. O, you shall know that by degrees, bɔy. No man leaps into a business of state, without fording first the state of the business. Pro. We are sent unto you, indeed, from the people. Boy. The people! which side of the people? Pro. So they are. Not the faces, or grounds of your people, that sit in the oblique caves and wedges of your house, your sinful sixpenny mechanics Dam. But the better and braver sort of your people, plush and velvet outsides! that stick your house round like so many eminences Boy. Of clothes, not understandings! they are at pawn. Well, I take these as a part of your peo ple though; what bring you to me from these people? Dam. You have heard, boy, the ancient poets had it in their purpose, still to please this people. Pro. Ay, their chief aim was Dam. Populo ut placerent: if he understands so much. I understand Pro. Now, these people have employed us to you, in all their names, to entreat an excellent play from you. Dam. For they have had very mean ones from this shop of late, the stage as you call it. But this, Boy. Troth, gentlemen, I have no wares which 1 dare thrust upon the people with praise. such as it is, I will venture with your people, your gay gallant people: so as you, again, will undertake for them, that they shall know a good play when they hear it; and will have the conscience and ingenuity beside to confess it. Pro. We'll pass our words for that; you shal have a brace of us to engage ourselves. Boy. You'll tender your names, gentlemen, to our book then? Dam. Yes; here's master Probee, a man of mos' powerful speech, and parts to persuade. Pro. And master Damplay will make good all he undertakes. Boy. Good master Probee, and master Damplay! I like your securities: whence do you write your selves? Pro. Of London, genilemen; but knights' brothers, and knights' friends, I assure you. Dam. And knights' fellows too: every post writes squire now. 548 Boy. You are good names! very good men, both of you; I accept you. Dam. And what is the title of your play here, The Magnetic Lady? Boy. Yes, sir, an attractive title the author has given it. Pro. A magnete, I warrant you. Dam. Ono, from magnus, magna, magnum. Boy. This gentleman hath found the true magnitude Dam. Of his portal or entry to the work, accord ing to Vitruvius. Boy. Sir, all our work is done without a portal, or Vitruvius. In foro, as a true comedy should be. And what is concealed within, is brought out, and made present by report. Dam. We see not that always observed by your authors of these times; or scarce any other. Boy. Where it is not at all known, how should it be observed? The most of those your people call authors, never dreamt of any decorum, or what was proper in the scene; but grope at it in the dark, and feet or fumble for it: I speak it, both with their leave, and the leave of your people. Dam. But, why Humors Reconciled, I would fain know? Boy. I can satisfy you there too, if you will. But perhaps you desire not to be satisfied. Dam. No! why should you conceive so, boy? Boy. My conceit is not ripe yet; I'll tell you that anon. The author beginning his studies of this kind, with Every Man in his Humor; and after Every Man out of his Humor; and since, continuing in all his plays, especially those of the comic thread, whereof the New Inn was the last, some recent humors still, or manners of men, that went along with the times; finding himself now near the close, or shutting up of his circle, hath fancied to himself, in idea, this Magnetic Mistress: a lady, a brave bountiful housekeeper, and a virtuous widow; who having a young niece, ripe for a man, and marriageable, he makes that his centre attractive, to draw thither a diversity of guests, all persons of different humors to make up his perimeter. And this he hath called HUMORS RECONCILed. Andy Pro. A bold undertaking, and far greater than the reconciliation of both churches; the quarrel between humors having been much the ancienter; and, in my poor opinion, the root of all schism and faction both in church and commonwealth. | not the series or thread of the argument, to break or pucker it, with unnecessary questions. For, I must tell you, (not out of mine own dictamen, but the author's,) a good play is like a skein of silk; which if you take by the right end, you may wind off at pleasure, on the bottom or card of your discourse, in a tale or so; how you will: but if you light on the wrong end, you will pull all into a knot or elf-lock; which nothing but the sheers, or a candle, will undo or separate. Dam. Stay, who be these, I pray you? Boy. Because it is your first question, and these be the prime persons, it would in civility require an answer: but I have heard the poet affirm, that to be the most unlucky scene in a play, which needs an interpreter; especially, when the auditory are awake. and such are you he presumes; ergo brother; You shall along with me. I am lodged hard by, Iron. Troth, brother Compass, you shall par- I love not so to multiply acquaintance Com. Why, Ironside, you know I am a scholar, And part a soldier; I have been employ'd By some the greatest statesmen of the kingdom, These many years; and in my time convers'd Boy. Such is the opinion of many wise men, that With sundry humors, suiting so myself meet at this shop still; but how he will speed in it, To company, as honest men and knaves, we cannot tell, and he himself, it seems, less cares : Good-fellows, hypocrites, all sorts of people, for he will not be entreated by us, to give it a pro- Though never so divided in themselves, logue. He has lost too much that way already, he Have studied to agree still in the usage says. He will not woo the gentle ignorance so much. And handling of me, which hath been fair too But careless of all vulgar censure, as not depending Iron. Sir, I confess you to be one well read on common approbation, he is confident it shall In men and manners; and that usually, super-please judicious spectators, and to them he The most ungovern'd persons, you being present. leaves it to work with the rest, by example or other-Rather subject themselves unto your censure, wise. Dam. He may be deceived in that, boy: few follow examples now, especially if they be good. Boy. The play is ready to begin, gentlemen; I tell you, lest you might defraud the expectation of the people, for whom you are delegates: please you take a couple of seats, and plant yourselves, here, as near my standing as you can: fly every thing you see to the mark, and censure it freely; so you interrupt Than give you least occasion of distaste, My humor being as stubborn as the rest, And as unmanageable. Com. You do mistake. My caract of your friendship all this while, Unkennell'd with a choleric, ghastly aspect, Iron. But, brother, I have seen A coward meeting with a man as valiant Set to him roundly, ay, and swinge him soundly; To err; and think no person, nor no creature Com. I think that too: But, brother, could I over entreat you, To hear yourself or your profession glanced at Iron. Compass, I know that universal causes Whose souls are nought but a syntaxis of them. Com. Here comes our parson, parson Palate here, A venerable youth, (I must salute him,) Eder PALATE. God save my reverend clergy, parson Palate! Pal. The witty master Compass! how is't with you? [counsel, Com. My lady stays for you, and for your Touching her niece, mistress Placentia Steel, Who strikes the fire of full fourteen to-day, Ripe for a husband! Pal. Ay, she chimes, she chimes. Saw you the doctor Rut, the house physician? He's sent for too. Com. To council! time you were there: Make haste, and give it a round quick dispatch, That we may go to dinner betimes, parson; And drink a health or two more to the business. Exit PALATE. Iron. This is a strange put off; a reverena youth! You use him most surreverently methinks. What call you him? Palate Please, or Parson Palate? Com. All's one, but shorter. I can give you his character. He is the prelate of the parish here, And governs all the dames, appoints the cheer, Iron. Who made this epigram, you? As any is of his bulk, Ben Jonson, made it. Com. The same man made them both; but his is shorter, And not in rhyme, but blanks: I'll tell you that, too. Rut is a young physician to the family : Re-enter PALATE with RUT and Lady LOADSTONE, in discourse. See here they are! and walking with my lady, [IRON. and Coм. go into the house. Lady L. Ay, 'tis his fault she's not bestow'd, My brother Interest's. Pal. Who, old sir Moth? Lady L. He keeps off all her suitors, keeps the portion Still in his hands; and will not part withal, Pal. Hinc illæ lachrymæ: Thence flows the cause of the main grievance. It is a main one; how much is the portion? [down: Pal. But sixteen thousand pound. Rut. He should be forced, madam to lay it When is it payable? Lady L. When she is married. Pal. Marry her, marry her, madam Welcome in troth! how dost thou, gentle Polish? The courtiers, and the soldiers, and the scholars, Pol. Alas, they are both dead, an't please you! but Your ladyship means wel!, and shall mean well, So long as I live. How does your fine niece, My charge, mistress Placentia Steel? Lady L. She is not well. Pol. Not well? Lady L. Her doctor says so. Rut. Not very well; she cannot shoot at butts, Or manage a great horse; but she can cranch A sack of small-coal, eat you lim., and hair, Rut. Well, if you know it, peace. Pal. Good sister Polish, hear your betters speak. [leave, Pol. Sir, I will speak, with my good lady's And speak, and speak again; I did bring up My lady's niece, mistress Placentia Steel, With my own daughter, who's Placentia too, And waits upon my lady, is her woman:Her ladyship well knows, mistress Placentia Steel, as I said, her curious niece, was left A legacy to me, by father and mother, With the nurse Keep that tended her: her mother She died in child-bed of her, and her father Lived not long after: for he loved her mother! They were a godly couple; yet both died, As we must all. No creature is immortal, I have heard our pastor say; no, not the faithful! And took her home; for which I thank you, And am beholden to you. Rut. I sure thought She had a lease of talking for nine lives Pol. Sir, sixteen thousand pound Enter COMPASS, and IRONSIDE from the house. You know her, master Compass Com. Spare the torture, I do confess without it. Pol. And her husband, [lived What a fine couple they were, and how they Com. Yes. |