THE

LOGICIANS REFUTED.

IN IMITATION OF DEAN SWIFT*.

LOGICIAN

OGICIANS have but ill defin'd

As rational the human mind:

Reason, they fay, belongs to man,

But let thein prove it if they can.
Wife Ariftotle and Smiglefius,
By Ratiocinations fpecious,

Have ftrove to prove with great precision,

With definition and divifion,

Homo eft natione preditum ;

But for my foul I cannot credit 'em;
And must in spite of them maintain,
That man and all his ways are vain;
And that this boafted lord of nature,
Is both a weak and erring creature.

That

*This Imitation having originally been adopted by Mr. Faulkner as a genuine Poem by Swift, it has been reprinted in every fubfequent edition of the Dean's Poems; and was not difcovered till it was too late to take it out of the prefent edition.

That inftinct is a furer guide,
Than reafon-boafting mortal's pride;
And that brute beasts are far before 'em,
Deus eft anima brutorum.

Who ever knew an honest brute,
At law his neighbour profecute,
Bring action for assault and battery,
Or friend beguile with lies and flattery?
O'er plains they ramble unconfined,
No politics difturb their mind;

They eat their meals, and take their sport,
Nor know who's in or out at court:
They never to the levee go

To treat as dearest friend, a foe:
They never importune his grace,
Nor ever cringe to men in place;
Nor undertake a dirty job,

Nor draw the quill to write for Bob.
Fraught with invective, they ne'er go
To folks at Pater-nofter-Row:
No judges, fiddlers, dancing masters,
No pick-pockets, or poetasters,
Are known to honeft quadrupeds;
No single brute his fellows leads.
Brutes never meet in bloody fray,
Nor cut each others throat for pay.
Of beafts, it is confefs'd the ape
Comes nearest us in human fhape;
Like man he imitates each fashion,
And malice is his ruling paffion:

And

But both in malice and grimaces,
A courtier any ape furpaffes,
Behold him humbly cringing wait
Upon the minister of state:
View him foon after to inferiors
Aping the conduct of fuperiors:
He promises with equal air,
And to perform takes equal care.
He in his turn finds imitators;

At court, the porters, lacquies, waiters,
Their master's manners ftill contract,
And footmen, lords, and dukes can act,
Thus at the court, both great and small,
Behave alike, for all ape all.

FINIS.