"If things be fo fituated," faid I, "I don't care if I attend you to the court, and partake in the pleasure of your fuccefs."-" But prithee," continued I, as we fet forward, "what reasons have you to think an affair at laft concluded, which has given you so many former difappointments?" My lawyer tells me, returned he, that I have Salkeld and Ventris strong in my favour, and that there are no less than fifteen cases in point. "I underftand,” said I," thofe are two of your judges who have already declared their opinion." Pardon me, replied my friend, Salkeld and Ventris are lawyers, who, fome hundred years ago gave their opinions on cafes fimilar to mine; these opinions which make for me, my lawyer is to cite, and those opinions which look another way, are cited by the lawyer employed by my antagonist; as I obferved, I have Salkeld and Ventris for me, he has Coke and Hales for him, and he that has most opinions is most likely to carry his cause. "But where is the neceffity," cried I," of prolonging "of prolonging a fuit by citing the opinions and reports of others, fince the fame good fenfe which determined lawyers in former ages, may serve to guide your judges at this day. They at that time gave their opinions only from the light of reason, your judges have the same light at present to direct them, let me even add a greater, as in former ages there were many preju dices from which the present is happily free. If arguing from authorities be exploded from every other branch of learning, why should it be particularly adhered to in this? I plainly forefee, how fuch a method of inveftigation must embarrass every suit, and even perplex the student; ceremonies will be multiplied, formalities must

increase, and more time will thus be spent in learning the arts of litigation, than in the discovery of right."

I fee, cries my friend, that you are for a speedy administration of juftice, but all the world will grant, that the more time that is taken up in confidering any fubject, the better it will be understood. Befides, it is the boast of an Englishman that his property is fecure, and all the world will grant, that a deliberate administration of juftice is the best way to fecure his property. Why have we fo many lawyers, but to fecure our property? why fo many formalities, but to secure our property? Not less than one hundred thousand families live in opulence, elegance, and ease, merely by fecuring our property.

To embarrass justice, returned I, by a multiplicity of laws, or to hazard it by a confidence in our judges, are, I grant, the oppofite rocks on which legislative wif dom has ever fplit; in one cafe, the client resembles that emperor who is faid to have been fuffocated with the bed-clothes, which were only defigned to keep him warm; in the other, to that town which let the enemy take poffeffion of its walls, in order to fhew the world how little they depended upon aught but courage for safety:-But blefs me, what numbers do I fee here-all in black-how is it poffible that half this multitude find employment? Nothing so easily conceived, returned my companion, they live by watching each other. For inftance, the catchpole watches the man in debt, the attorney, watches the catchpole, the counsellor watches the attorney, the folicitor the councellor, and all find fufficient employment. I conceive you, interrupted I, they watch each other, but it is the client that pays them

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all for watching; it puts me in mind of a Chinese fable,
which is entitled, "Five animals at a meal."

A grafshopper filled with dew was merrily finging under a shade; a whangam that eats grasshoppers had marked it for its prey, and was just stretching forth to devour it; a ferpent that had for a long time fed only on whangams, was coiled up to faften on the whangam; a yellow bird was just upon the wing to dart upon the fepent; a hawk had just stooped from above to seize the yellow bird; all were intent on their prey, and unmindful of their danger: fo the whangam eat the grasshopper, the serpent eat the whangam, the yellow bird the ferpent, and the hawk the yellow bird; when foufing from on high, a vulture gobbled up the hawk, grafshopper, whangam, and all in a moment.

I had scarce finished my fable, when the lawyer came. to inform my friend, that his cause was put off till a nother term, that money was wanting to retain, and that all the world was of opinion, that the very next hearing would bring him off victorious. If fo, then, cries my friend, I believe it will be my wifeft way to con tinue the caufe for another term; and in the mean time, my friend here and I will go and fee Bedlam, Adieu,




LATELY received a vifit from the little beau, who
I found had affumed a new flow of fpirits with a new

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fuit of clothes. Our difcourfe happened to turn upon the different treatment of the fair fex here and in Asia, with the influence of beauty in refining our manners, and improving our converfation.


I foon perceived he was ftrongly prejudiced in favour of the Afiatic method of treating the fex, and that it was impoffible to perfuade him, but that a man was happier who had four wives at his command, than he who had only one. It is true, cries he, your men of fashion in the Eaft are flaves, and under fome terrors of having their throats fqueezed by a bow-ftring; but what then, they can find ample confolation in a feraglio; they make indeed an indifferent figure in converfation abroad, but then they have a feraglio to confole them at home. I am told they have no balls, drums, nor operas, but then they have got a feraglio; they may be deprived of wine and French cookery, but then they have a feraglio; a feraglio! a feraglio, my dear creature, wipes off every inconvenience in the world.

"Befides, I am told, your Afiatic beauties are the most convenient women alive; for they have no fouls, pofitively there is nothing in nature I fhould like fo much as ladies without fouls; foul, here, is the utter ruin of half the fex. A girl of eighteen fhall have foul enough to spend an hundred pounds in the turning of a trump. Her mother shall have foul enough to ride a fweep-flake match at an horse-race; her maiden aunt fhall have foul enough to purchase the furniture of a whole toy-fhop, and others fhall have foul enough to behave as if they had no fouls at all."

With respect to the foul, interrupted I, the Afiatics are much kinder to the fair fex than you imagine; in

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ftead of one foul, Fohi, the idol of China, gives every woman three, the Bramins give them fifteen; and even Mahomet himself no were excludes the fex from Paradife. Abulfeda reports, that an old woman one day importuning him to know what fhe ought to do in order to gain Paradife?“ My good lady," answered the prophet," old women never get there." What never get to Paradife, returned the matron in a fury! "Never," says he, "for they always grow young by the way."

No, Sir, continued I, the men of Afia behave with more deference to the fex than you seem to imagine. As you of Europe fay grace upon fitting down to dinner, so it is the custom in China to fay grace when a man goes to bed to his wife. "And may I die," returned my companion, "but a very pretty ceremony; for, seriously, Sir, I fee no reason why a man should not be as grateful in one situation as in the other. Upon honour, I always find myself much more disposed to gratitude on the couch of a fine woman, than upon fitting down to a firloin of beef."

Another ceremony, faid I, resuming the converfation in favour of the fex amongst us, is the bride's being allowed after marriage her three days of freedom. During this interval, a thousand extravagancies are practised by either fex. The lady is placed upon the nuptial bed, and numberless monkey tricks are played round to divert her. One gentlemen fmells her perfumed handkerchief, another attempts to untie her garters, a third pulls off her fhoe to play hunt the flipper, another pretends to be an ideot, and endeavours to raise a laugh by grimacing; in the mean time the glafs goes brifkly about, VOL. II. L

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